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Book Related Banter > When did reading become such a negative thing?

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message 51: by Laura (new)

Laura P Fawn wrote: when I was a kid my brothers, sister and I had a set time for bed no matter how old we were. (Our parents were ready for "their" time) But we allowed to stay up an hour later if we read."

That sounds familiar! LOL.... except we weren't allowed to stay up later to read. I spent many nights hiding under the covers with a flashlight and a book! LOL


message 52: by Fawn (new)

Fawn | 22 comments LOL Laura you rebel you! Do you think your parents knew and didn't say anything? How could they get mad that their daughter was reading?!


message 53: by Laura (new)

Laura P Fawn wrote: "LOL Laura you rebel you! Do you think your parents knew and didn't say anything? How could they get mad that their daughter was reading?!"

LOL... I'm sure they did. They just let me think I was getting away with something!


message 54: by Shaina (new)

Shaina (shainaeg) Both of my parents read and my mom reads a lot. When I was in school, I went through phases of reading a lot and reading less. Always, reading a really good book would get me back into it.


message 55: by Ginger (new)

Ginger @Fawn: I love that childhood memory! My sis & I had set bedtimes as well. I can remember more than once getting yelled at for having a flashlight on & under the covers reading! I didn't get in trouble for reading per se, but in trouble for not going to bed like I was told!! I could get away with it with Daddy but Mom was way more strict! :)


message 56: by Alisa (new)

Alisa (alisakayco) | 8 comments I always get some type of comment when people find out how much I read. I've read over 300 books so far this year and people are either in awe or they just look at me like I'm crazy because it's 299 too many LOL.

what really bugs me is when non-readers will make comments like "Oh, I'd rather just watch the movie. It'll be better anyways." Um, how would you know if you don't read to compare the book to the movie?

I think that's why I prefer reading. It gives you total control over the visualization of the world and characters that the author has described. The author gives you the description, but you're the painter. I don't have to deal with bad graphics, bad acting or an actor/actress that doesn't fit what I had in my mind of a "handsome" or "pretty" character. And lastly, Thank God my vampires don't sparkle horribly in my imagination.

I don't lack imagination and the world that I disappear into, whether it's paranormal, contemporary romance, horror, dystopia, what have you, well it's a great world to disappear into. I love losing myself into someone's creation and imagination. But with non-readers, I think it's just too much work for them. Why take the time to imagine and create all that in your mind when t.v. can do it for you easily?


message 57: by Megan (new)

Megan  (trixiekitten) I've only ever got the joking comment "library time" when I read on my lunch break, but I don't know if that counts. Sometimes my fiancee will make a comment about my always reading-- and he doesn't understand why I like fiction so much.


message 58: by [deleted user] (new)

I read absolutely every single second of the day that I can. I would much rather read than watch TV. I've been a die-hard reader since I was a child and could start reading for myself. My family would be in the living room watching TV and I would be in my room, reading book after book. Through books, I have traveled around the world, solved many crimes, had a lot of romances and lived through historical events. I don't think my first husband ever even picked up a book, not even to read to our children. No wonder that marriage didn't work out! My second husband never really read but once he discovered true crime, paranormal and any fiction that takes place during the Civil War, he now understands my love of reading. All of my kids read as well. I cannot even imagine a world where books don't exist. I have had negative comments from co-workers, other family members and even total strangers. I just tell them you have your interests, I have mine. I have also had people say to me (like a few other members that posted) that they wish they had time to read. Like the other members, I'm kind of stunned when they say that, like my life is less worth living than theirs because I read a book? But then they go on to talk about what they watched on TV the previous night; I tell them while they were watching their TV program, I spent that time reading my book. And I have also been known to say that I'm not sure how my reading a book is hurting them!


message 59: by Jen (new)

Jen (jen-nz) | 1 comments I suppose I've been fortunate, I don't get negative replies or comments regarding my reading. Most people say they wish they had more time for reading and sound a little envious.


message 60: by sonya (new)

sonya marie madden  | 268 comments i had someone tell me to get a life because I read more books than watched tv.


Diary of a New Parent (diaryofanewparent) | 1 comments I get told I'm boring a lot, so I tend to not talk about reading very much. I'm not much of a TV watcher, that also gets a reaction!


message 62: by Dee (new)

Dee (austhokie) | 370 comments I was always that loner in school - it took me forever to make friends and I never fit into any of the clicks, I would prefer to spend my lunches at the library and things haven't changed in the 15 years since then - I prefer to stay home on Friday nights and read/ do schoolwork than go out with co-workers (of course they give me shit sometimes about it)


message 63: by Sally (new)

Sally | 8 comments I guess I'm lucky that both of my parents are readers. I've always been encouraged to read. A person who reads is never bored as long as there is a good book available. The Kindle is ideal for bookaholics! I'm saddened by the number of people in my office who don't read (I work at a university!).


aPriL does feral sometimes  (cheshirescratch) I was the lone reader in my family so for awhile they thought I studied a lot. Reading for pleasure was beyond them. When they learned I was reading a lot (I won a local library contest) it was a huge mystery to them "where she got it." like I was diseased! Later, a non-reader girlfriend discovered a carried a paperback in my purse everywhere (pre-Kindle days) and she believed it was a sign of serious mental issues!! Somehow while being addicted to ESPN or other TV watching is OK, reading is some kind of sign of deeper problems that are scarier. But only non-readers have ever (in kind tones mostly) ever seem to feel frightened about my reading. The silliest was relatives who believed my liberal political beliefs were a kind of brain poisoning caused by reading general books and not the Bible. This was decades ago.


message 65: by Helen (new)

Helen Scary stuff! My mum isn't a reader and has never understood wanting to stay up and read or the need for books in the house.


message 66: by Laura (new)

Laura P My mother was an avid reader and so were both my grandmothers and my aunts. So I was exposed to reading at an early age. I remember in early elementary school being frustrated on library day at school because I was not allowed to checkout books that I was used to reading at home. I was already reading Little House on the Prairie type books but my grade level was limited to a section of the library with younger material.


message 67: by Dee (new)

Dee (austhokie) | 370 comments I remember my mom having to give the library permission to let me borrow books that were in the adult section and not the what then passed for the YA/Kids section...because they wouldn't let me borrow stuff


message 68: by stormhawk (new)

stormhawk | 542 comments Dee wrote: "I remember my mom having to give the library permission to let me borrow books that were in the adult section and not the what then passed for the YA/Kids section...because they wouldn't let me bor..."

I had to do that, too. I'm guessing that a lot of really active young readers had to do the same.


aPriL does feral sometimes  (cheshirescratch) My family were not readers so when I hit that "you're too young for that book" wall at my library I went down the street two blocks to the local Salvation Army store where books for five cents were buried in the back of the store. I bought dozens. I ended up with books that I puzzled over since they really were too old for me! I knew better than to ask what was going on in them, but later I put two and two together much faster than the non-readers.....I was very young. I already was tested at two grade levels above my classmates in reading. When in the company of mostly non-reading adults who felt books were weird and hard, I discovered they never checked my school bag when they saw a lot of books. The feeling of putting something over on the grownups was delicious. I had to be more circumspect around the teachers of course. Discovering my locker mate was a reader was wonderful! We embarked on a nefarious journey of reading that we felt adults would be shocked if they knew, like Fleming's James Bond series! :)


message 70: by Jen (new)

Jen (jenlb) | 50 comments Count me in as another that had to get 'special permission' to use the adult section. When I later worked at the same library it was very heartening to see how many kids actually did go out of their way to get that permission.

Judging from this thread I think that I'm very lucky that I come from a family of readers (I still got grounded occasionally for doing the flashlight under the covers, but that seems fair now as I'm liable to spend all night with a good book and hope to catch up on sleep later). I am a bit concerned about my kids' generation and their reading habits...they're teenagers now, and it's very odd when I find one of their friends who has read more (non-school books) than Harry Potter or Twilight or paranormal romances. Most of the kids I know were very much encouraged to read as children, but they seem to have given it up as soon as they got their cell phones. That's sad.


message 71: by Helen (new)

Helen I just had a flashback to sneaking into the adult part of the library (a separate room), getting a book and going to the desk and them letting me. I was thrilled, particuarly when they gave me a grown up ticket. I was there every week after that.


message 72: by Aaron (new)

Aaron (scruffynerfer) I remember reading and having books read to me by my mum when I was younger, I used to love going the the library and getting a couple of books every week. The trouble was when I got into my teens and my homework at school increased and being pushed to 'play out' by my dad a lot i kind of lost the love of reading. children;'s TV didn't help either but I still managed to get to the school library every so often but they didn't really have much that I liked. It wasn't until about 2-3 years ago that I really got back into reading again. I was noticing that a lot of people who i admired where bringing out biographies and I was really interested in finding out more about them. After reading a couple of them and finding them easy to read I decided to try some fiction. That was it, I had been re-bitten by the reading bug.

I don't read as many books as some of you, as I'm currently on my 35th book of the year, but I do always have at least one book on the go and plenty others in the to be read pile. I don't know if it is because of this technological age I have grown up in or if its just me but I find it hard to concentrate when reading, and can suddenly find myself wanting to go do something else, I HATE this and I wish I could get lost in a book like my sister can, but alas I'm not like that. I guess I'll just try and read as much as I can and try and teach my brain into loosing myself into the fantasy and sci-fi worlds the author create for me.


message 73: by Mhairi (new)

Mhairi Simpson (mhairisimpson) | 106 comments It could just be a hangover from your younger days when you were told you should be outside rather than reading that makes it difficult for you to lose yourself in a book - underlying guilt, you know? I've always been a massive reader, but I count myself very lucky for that. My ex-boyfriend said he hadn't read a book in about ten years! I was totally shocked! Glad that relationship didn't work out. That said, he was very respectful of my reading time. If he saw me reading he left me alone. He equated it with studying because he was so used to seeing his younger sister buried in her law books. Still, if you read at all, after not doing it for so many years, I think you should be very proud of that! Being able to totally lose yourself in a book is a skill that comes with practice, don't worry :D


message 74: by Aaron (new)

Aaron (scruffynerfer) Thanks Mhairi and I am proud of reading again, especially when I tend to go from one hobby to another. I guess I have found my calling now :). My sister can get stuck into a book easily and read all night if she has to but because of that she doesn't tend to read a lot of books. I also have a book or 2 to read and when I finish one I go straight to another. I guess I feel that if I stop I might find it hard to start again after a while.

It's interesting how people are saying that they have partners that don't read, and how they most of those don't work. I'm currently single so I don't have that problem, but there is a girl who I am I get along with but I know she is not a reader, as she has mentioned to me multiple times that i read way too much lol. I have told her that it's something that I love doing and I have no problem in her doing what she loves. The non intrest in reading is actually making it hard for me to want to ask her out. Am I wrong in thinking this? As it's something I do a lot of, it's not an occasional occurrence.


message 75: by Mhairi (last edited Oct 30, 2011 02:35PM) (new)

Mhairi Simpson (mhairisimpson) | 106 comments If you reading too much is a problem for her, it will probably always be a problem. I would say, by all means go ahead and ask her out, but if her attitude doesn't change, do you really want to live with that on a long-term basis?

That said, who knows what the future holds? If you guys get on, she could become more accepting, so I say, go for it! There's more than one kind of prejudice :) Readers can be bad people in other ways!

Edit: Should just add, as long as you don't read when you're supposed to be spending time with her, you'll be ok. Of course, disputes can arise when one person is watching TV and gets mad at the other for reading. Well, it's not like you were going to have a conversation during that time, is it? Anyway, like I said, you don't know how things will turn out, so give it a shot :)


message 76: by Aaron (new)

Aaron (scruffynerfer) I guess your right Mhairi. I wouldn't be reading and not spending time with her but i would want time to read. She does tend to spend a lot of time watching TV so I guess that would give me plenty of time to read as I don't tend to watch much TV apart from geeky/science programs like The Big Bang Theory and Mythbusters.


message 77: by Ginger (last edited Oct 30, 2011 04:04PM) (new)

Ginger Aaron wrote: "I guess your right Mhairi. I wouldn't be reading and not spending time with her but i would want time to read. She does tend to spend a lot of time watching TV so I guess that would give me plenty ..."

Aaron, sorry to bust in here, but I just had to say when my husband & I started dating, he knew right off I was a "heavy" reader. Believe it or not, I actually influenced him to read a few books here and there. We've been married 16 1/2 years & been together for 18 years! Perhaps you can influence your friend to read a book that sparks her interest. If not, don't be discouraged! Hubby & I were together close to a year before he became curious enough ick out one of my books...he used to read the newspaper all the time up until then. Good luck!!
PS. Hubby would rather watch tv, but doesn't say a word when I'm reading while he's watching a program. He's never said anything negative..he knows we each have interests. We do watch some programs/movies together.


message 78: by Darlene (new)

Darlene Jones (darlene_jones) | 55 comments I didn't know reading was considered negative. In my circle of friends and family it's vital.


message 79: by Betsy (new)

Betsy Darlene wrote: "I didn't know reading was considered negative. In my circle of friends and family it's vital."

I'm with you, Darlene. Most people seem amazed and envious at how much I read (or used to read, I'm slowing down some now). I don't remember anyone saying anything negative. They may prefer to watch TV or play Wii or whatever, but they don't denigrate my choice.


message 80: by Bj (new)

Bj Hunter (bjhunter) | 41 comments I was once told by my Mother that my reading was kind of a waste of time because I read books and not magazines like her. She said she was learning things from magazine articles and I was not learning anything from my paranormal or horror books. That is what I prefer to read though, and reading books is for pleasure for me, not learning lol


message 81: by Nathalia (new)

Nathalia (nenssa) Amber wrote: "I tend to read more than most of the people I know...but not all of them. I have several friends and quite a few family members who read more than most people. It is always easy to find the people ..."

I absolutely LOVED your response. Well said!


message 82: by Michelle (new)

Michelle Scott (michellescottfiction) I was not learning anything from my paranormal or horror books

It really depends on what you read and what you consider 'learning'. I mean, I've learned a lot about history from reading well-researched historical fiction. And I've also learned a lot about human behavior and philosophy simply by reading books like Harry Potter.

I've also learned what to do in case of a zombie attack which, imho, is pretty important.


message 83: by Bj (new)

Bj Hunter (bjhunter) | 41 comments That is so true Michelle, everyone needs to know how to handle those nasty zombies! And thanks to Anne Rice and Stephanie Meyer we all know to stay away from those pretty vampires ;) I forgot I have read historical fiction, and many books about the Tudors.


message 84: by Aaron (new)

Aaron (scruffynerfer) Kiwi wrote: "What I have experienced is negativity based on *what* I read. Like, rolled eyes and funny looks, or snide smiles in bookshops when I buy paranormal fiction. ."

Thats one of the reason I love the kindle. I like to read a few different genres and one genre that I read a lot of is fantasy. I know there is nothing wrong with reading fantasy but I recently got into reading the Succubus series by Richelle Mead which is aimed at girls. I still went ahead and read it as I read the sample and liked the authors style so I went ahead and brought the book, and then the series of 6 books. I really liked the series and I was glad that I got it on kindle as no one knew what I was reading. I am sure I would of got a few weird looks and maybe some questions of people at work, but as they didn't know what it was they didn't ask.


message 85: by Dee (new)

Dee (austhokie) | 370 comments apparently according to yesterday's Dear Abby, if you are reading and your SO wants your attention, then you should put down your book and pay attention to them, even if its not important...I just laughed at that...if they bother me while i'm reading, i'll sure as heck bother them while they are watching sports and that just doesn't fly ;)


message 86: by Dee (new)

Dee (austhokie) | 370 comments Aaron - I loved the Succubus series! It is probably one of my favorite recently and I especially liked the fact that it was tied up in 6 books. Have you tried her Dark Swan series?

Aaron wrote: "Kiwi wrote: "What I have experienced is negativity based on *what* I read. Like, rolled eyes and funny looks, or snide smiles in bookshops when I buy paranormal fiction. ."

Thats one of the reason..."



message 87: by Shaina (new)

Shaina (shainaeg) I've always felt a little self conscious about what I'm reading. I read a wide variety of things and when I read guilty pleasure type books I don't need everyone on the subway knowing it. I love the kindle for so many reasons and that is one of them. I've never really felt judged for reading a lot, but I've usually been surrounded by a lot of smart people and most of them read or at least wish they had time to read.


Awesomevegan (AKA JenReads) (awesomevegan) | 109 comments I agree people judge based on what you read. It is funny that my bf's mom reads paranormal romances like Kenyon so she wouldn't think anything of my book choices. She has a Kindle as well. I am itching to get the new Touch. I still have the first generation which is a little funny looking I must admit!


message 89: by Bj (new)

Bj Hunter (bjhunter) | 41 comments Before I got my kindle I used those cloth bookcovers on them so people couldn't see that I was reading a "bodice ripper" or paranormal book, I never felt the need to cover up my Stephen King books though. Now I have all kinds of books on my Kindle and no one can see them *little evil laugh*


message 90: by Aaron (new)

Aaron (scruffynerfer) Dee wrote: "Aaron - I loved the Succubus series! It is probably one of my favorite recently and I especially liked the fact that it was tied up in 6 books. Have you tried her Dark Swan series?

I read the first book when I went to New York City a month ago. The story was ok, but it didn't grab me like the Succubus books did. I haven't been put off the series though and I will read the next book at least as I have faith in Richelle. Have you read the Vampire Academy book? That is the only series im unsure if I was to read, as they seem to be in the same vain as Twilight and it's really putting me off. The films and 13 year old girls "in love" with the characters have put me off reading anything like Twilight.


message 91: by Karen M (last edited Nov 10, 2011 01:08PM) (new)

Karen M Dee wrote: "I remember my mom having to give the library permission to let me borrow books that were in the adult section and not the what then passed for the YA/Kids section...because they wouldn't let me bor..."

My Mom would just let me select 3 so called adult books and she would select 3 adult books and she would check them all out. My library was very strict about the adult floor and I was not allowed to check out books until I was 12.


message 92: by Dee (new)

Dee (austhokie) | 370 comments @Aaron - I tried to read the first VA and it just didn't catch me - I will admit, I did both the succubus series and the first Dark Swan in audio, which might have altered my perception of them


message 93: by Helen (new)

Helen Michelle wrote: "I was not learning anything from my paranormal or horror books

It really depends on what you read and what you consider 'learning'. I mean, I've learned a lot about history from reading well-re..."


I find myself looking at houses thinking about how easily zombies could get through those windows.


aPriL does feral sometimes  (cheshirescratch) Readers obviously know valuable stuff that non-readers should respect us for. We know how to handle monsters, for example. See above (Helen, a good wing man, obviously). There are no negatives to reading. My pencils double as stakes.


message 95: by Alisa (new)

Alisa (alisakayco) | 8 comments Helen wrote: "Michelle wrote: "I was not learning anything from my paranormal or horror books

It really depends on what you read and what you consider 'learning'. I mean, I've learned a lot about history fro..."


Helen, I'm so glad I'm not the only one who does that. I also have back-up and escape plans should a zombie break-out happen.


message 96: by [deleted user] (new)

April wrote: "Readers obviously know valuable stuff that non-readers should respect us for. We know how to handle monsters, for example. See above (Helen, a good wing man, obviously). There are no negatives to..."

Nice comment!

I think reading being bad or lethargic really depends on who you are speaking to about it. I know a good number of people who like to read, and people who don't. The biggest complaint I find, however, is that no one has enough time to read. Thus why I think a lot of people would rather watch TV or something similar...it takes less time.


message 97: by Robert (last edited Nov 12, 2011 11:52AM) (new)

Robert Arl (robcsk) | 6 comments Helen wrote: "Michelle wrote: "I was not learning anything from my paranormal or horror books

It really depends on what you read and what you consider 'learning'. I mean, I've learned a lot about history fro..."


I've had an inspector in and my house has been certified as zombie proof.

Love the AMC series "The Walking Dead." Highly recommend the zombie anthology "The Living Dead" edited by John Joseph Adams.


message 98: by K. (new)

K.  (eowyn1075) | 35 comments I think it's interesting how many of you readers came from a family of readers. I've always believed a reading lifestyle begets more reading in those who live with you. My family is made up of huge readers, which is why we have 7 Kindles on my account. The minute I bought one everyone wanted one. The only non-reader in my family is my brother, but after moving in and living with me for a year now he says he wants a Kindle to start reading free classics for Christmas!


message 99: by Michelle (new)

Michelle Scott (michellescottfiction) I find myself looking at houses thinking about how easily zombies could get through those windows.

Yay!! Someone else who shares my important concerns ;) My husband and I have spent literally hours debating on the best place in our city to hide out during a zombie attack. He thinks we should head for the top of the tallest building (not!). I say we should go into the local gun store because the place is built like a fortress and stockpiled with firearms.


message 100: by Maria (new)

Maria Schneider (bearmountainbooks) | 36 comments Michelle wrote: "I find myself looking at houses thinking about how easily zombies could get through those windows.

Yay!! Someone else who shares my important concerns ;) My husband and I have spent literally h..."

Michelle, you worry me, you do...!


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