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[Melki]

Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

[Joel]

Is it a big ice cream cake from Dairy Queen, with Oreo cookies sticking out of it?

[Rebecca]

I would prefer a chocolate sundae with nuts on top.

And world domination, of course.

[Melki]

For world domination, the Mocha Moo-latte is best. Gives you the caffeine rush required for optimal conquering.

[Joel]

Just the thing for moo-tated lab mice.

[Rebecca]

Good tip, Melki.

[Melki]

I just had a blast watching my offspring attempt to play Surgery Simulator. One boy was the right hand, the other was the left; they were both a disaster. They attempted to do a heart transplant. After shattering the patient's rib cage, they proceeded to drop three scalpels into his chest, a lung on the floor and a hammer on his head. The best part was when the "surgeons" accidentally injected themselves with morphine and everything got wavery and psychedelic.

The patient was pronounced dead less than two minutes into the operation.

[Joel]

Your children have brilliant careers ahead of them at the CDC.

[Joel]

Just an observation...
We've been getting a lot of interaction from our members lately, and it's making The Humour Club an even more fun group to hang around. If such a thing were possible, I mean.

[Rebecca]

It is, Joel! Definitely my most fun group, and right now one of the liveliest.

[Melki]

And we haven't even had to share our booze and hookers!

[Rebecca]

Oh, blast! You just reminded me that I ran out of wine last night, and I forgot to buy more this morning. So I guess I should cancel that invitation to all of you to come over for drinks.

[Joel]

Melki wrote: "And we haven't even had to share our booze and hookers!"

We have alcoholic rug makers in this group?!!

[Rodney]

Rug Makers?

[Rebecca]

You've never heard of a hooked rug?

[Melki]

Joel wrote: "Melki wrote: "And we haven't even had to share our booze and hookers!"

We have alcoholic rug makers in this group?!!"

Wait...I thought this was the support group for alcoholic rug makers...

[Rodney]

Rebecca wrote: "You've never heard of a hooked rug?"

Can't say that I have. I Googled this every way including sideways. Makes sense now. Unfortunately once you explain a joke… yea, I’m sure that’s what it is.

[Rebecca]

Rodney wrote: "Rebecca wrote: "You've never heard of a hooked rug?"


City kid. Or young punk. Something like that. Those of us closer to the pioneer experience know this stuff!

[Joel]

I should have made a golfing joke.

[Joel]

Happy Thanksgiving to all our American members, and remember we owe our British cousins a great debt. If it wasn't for Henry VIII, none of our forefathers would have ever crossed the pond before the Beatles.

[Rodney]

Thank you Joel, I drank a cup of tea in remembrance. I couldn't go to Boston Harbor, so I drank it in my tub.

[Pseudonymous]

I just ran across the following line in Terry Pratchett's Maskerade and thought our writers, both published and not, may want to scrawl it on their writing room walls.

And he dreamed the dream of all those who publish books, which was to have so much gold in your pockets that you would have to employ two people just to hold your trousers up. --Maskerade Terry Pratchett.

[Rebecca]

Pseudonymous wrote: "I just ran across the following line in Terry Pratchett's Maskerade and thought our writers, both published and not, may want to scrawl it on their writing room walls.

And he dreame..."

Where's the "like" button? :D Yeah, I dream that. Or at least of a sale a day.

[Lisa]

The Thanksgiving holiday took too much of my time so I've been absent for the last week or so as I've been cooking and drinking -- too busy doing those to eat much but the horde who spent the holiday at my house said the food was divine. Anywhoo, I must ask the Brits among us . . .

America really does have a thing or two that we can proudly boast about, but Black Friday is not one of them. Why this:

http://www.cnn.com/2014/11/28/world/e...

[Melki]

Lisa wrote: "America really does have a thing or two that we can proudly boast about, but Black Friday is not one of them."

Oooo - I didn't realize we've been spreading our madness again. At least no one was killed this year. Right?

[Rodney]

Melki wrote: "Oooo - I didn't realize we've been spreading our madness again. At leas..."

I was also surprised we've infected other countries with this. Don't you people know that having unprotected events from other countries is dangerous?

[Rebecca]

I detest that whole scene. Why on earth would anyone want to copy the worst aspects of American culture?

[Joel]

People are idiots.

[Rebecca]

Joel wrote: "People are idiots."

I guess that answers my question.

[Pseudonymous]

I went to a movie last weekend, and the following web site was promoted in the mandatory ads before the film.

http://runpee.com/

Just what the world needs, more ways for smart phones to interrupt movies.

Last year my wife and I went to a Xmas concert by the acapella group "Straight No Chaser" ($40 a ticket) in which the performers actively encouraged the audience to use their phones to make movies of the concert to post on Youtube. There must have been a dozen people in the rows directly in front of us holding up their phones so my wife and I could watch the concert on their iPhone screens instead of our having to try to see all the way to the stage. It was so nice of them.

OK, I get it. The phones are smart, but that adjective does not necessarily apply to their owners.

[Melki]

Pseudonymous wrote: "The phones are smart, but that adjective does not necessarily apply to their owners. "

Well, that line is priceless!

It does seem to be lately that recording the experience is much more important than experiencing the experience. I imagine there are people who travel to the Grand Canyon just to snap some selfies with a majestic background and never really bother to look around at all those boring rocks 'n stuff.

[Lisa]

It does seem as if people are unwilling (unable?) to rely on their memory of the event. Everyone is so quick to record events in lieu of experiencing them directly, which is weird, if you ask me.

My kids are both very active in the performing arts. I prefer to see them and take a few photos for posterity (and to show the grandparents). On occasion, I'll video something for the grandparents, too, but only after I've already seen the whole performance (and I'm careful not to block the view of the folks behind me). When I do video, I'm always disappointed because it never looks as good as it did in real life nor as good as it does in my memory.

[Joel]

My cell phone is so old, it has a rotary dial. Allegedly it has a camera, but the only photos I've ever taken on it have thumb prints.

[Rebecca]

Melki, someone did a study and found that those who take photos are less likely to remember a place or event than those who do not. We did decide in our family (where some of us are semi-serious photographers, and one is more of a professional) that the condemnation applies primarily to those who snap selfies and pictures of their peeps posing (just like the old "Here's Mom and Buddy with the Buick at the Grand Canyon. Here's Mom and Buddy with the Buick at Yellowstone"...). When you are trying to take a photo that someone would want to look at, you tend to look MORE closely at the scenery, though with a decided bias.

Joel, I have to remember that line. I really do have a flip phone.

[Rodney]

Rebecca wrote: "Melki, someone did a study and found that those who take photos are less likely to remember a place or event than those who do not."

I could be a chiken or egg thing. Maybe those that have good memory take less photos.

[Rebecca]

I"m not sure, Rodney. There's such a focus with the younger set--"photos, or it didn't happen" and such a need to have pictures to put on social media, that there seems to be little concern for where, what, or how. Maybe there is social photography and art photography, and both need to be careful not to supersede enjoyment of the actual moment.

[Rodney]

Technology does make you less intellegent. I used to be able to do Trig in my head, now i have an app for that. I'm not sure if i can even read a map now that I have Google.

[Joel]

It's a sine of the times, Rodney.

[Pseudonymous]

Rodney wrote: "Technology does make you less intellegent. I used to be able to do Trig in my head, now i have an app for that. I'm not sure if i can even read a map now that I have Google."

While I certainly agree that having aps that help you do higher level math, balance chemical equations, or cheat on Scrabble may result in a slight decline in one's mental capacity in certain areas, I greatly fear that relying on aps like http://runpee.com/ to tell you when to go pee will lower the average human's level of intelligence to that of a Congressman.

[Melki]

Hmmm....I could have actually used that app when my son was younger and had trouble holding his bladder during movies. I remember during LOTR - The Two Towers, he had to GO during a crucial battle scene. If only I could have consulted my phone and taken him while some elves were kissing or something...

[Rodney]

Joel wrote: "It's a sine of the times, Rodney."

I'll log that in my list of good remarks. If you can ever angle a way to meet, I'll have you sine it.

[Joel]

I've been trying to read a book on speed hypnosis, but it keeps putting me to sle..........

[Rodney]

I've read that book, you just have to make it to the chapter that suggests you finish the book.

Except I had the irresistible urge to buy the next one in the series.

[Pseudonymous]

I just ran across this Robert Benchley quote.

There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them. --Robert Benchley

I think we all know people who, even if they don't analyze humor, are worried by it. Or maybe we are the ones they are worried about. I'm kind of worried about us myself.

[Rodney]

I kind of worry that you entered this right after something I said...

[Pseudonymous]

Rodney wrote: "I kind of worry that you entered this right after something I said..."

OK, Rodney. It actually was something you "said" yesterday (12/16/14) at or about 11 AM Central Standard Time that resulted in my entering the Benchley quote. Really. That's the truth. (But don't be checking your phones to see if they are bugged or something because...well, just don't, ok. I mean it.)

But please continue with what you were saying...

[Joel]

Before this gets completely out of hand, I'd like to put to rest the rumor that the North Koreans have hacked The Humour Club's servers We are meticulous about computer security at The Humour Club, and we simply would never countenance such a thing.

[Melki]

Joel wrote: "Before this gets completely out of hand, I'd like to put to rest the rumor that the North Koreans have hacked The Humour Club's servers We are meticulous about computer security at The Humour Club..."

But just in case, All Hail Dear Leader!
Gee, that Dennis Rodman's a helluva player, isn't he?

[Pseudonymous]

Melki wrote: "Joel wrote: "Before this gets completely out of hand, I'd like to put to rest the rumor that the North Koreans have hacked The Humour Club's servers We are meticulous about computer security at Th..."

Full disclosure. The DRNK has nothing to do with this. The Benchley quote was posted because on 12/16/14 at or about 11 AM CST Rodney was thinking about a book called Ha!: The Science of When We Laugh and Why, and the Benchley quote appears in that book. Nothing personal, Rodney. We track the thoughts of all Humour Club members. It's a matter of national security.

Yours friends,

The Thought Police
(formally known as the NSA)
Remember: Ignorance is Knowledge

P.S. And oh yeah, I forgot, 12/16/14 at or about 11 am CST is when Rodney clicked on 'Want to Read' for the afore mentioned book. You will believe that.
2+2=5

[Melki]