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With the Holidays upon us I would like to share a personal experience with my friends about drinking and driving.As you may know, some of us have been known to have brushes with the authorities from time to time on the way home after a "social session" out with friends.
Well, two days ago I was out for an evening with friends and had several cocktails followed by some rather nice red wine. Feeling jolly I still had the sense to know that I may be slightly over the limit. That's when I did something that I've never done before, I took a cab home.
Sure enough on the way home there was a police road block, but since it was a cab they waved it past. I arrived home safely without incident.
This was a real surprise as I had never driven a cab before, I don't know where I got it and now that it's in my garage I don't know what to do with it.
NOT ORIGINAL TO ME, BUT I THOUGHT I'D SHARE IT!
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I wish he'd hurry and eat it. I'm dying to know what HOLLOW MILK tastes like.
Melki wrote: "My oldest son bought himself one of these at the supermarket - I wish he'd hurry and eat it. I'm dying to know what HOLLOW MILK tastes like."
When you drink/eat it, it leaves you with an empty feeling inside.
Can someone please explain (in very simple terms) how to post photos here? It seems like something I should be able to do. I feel like a dog staring at a round doorknob. I know it's possible. I've seen others do it. If only I understood what I'm missing!
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Lisa, I will PM you with an attempt to explain.
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I can't help wishing THESE people were in charge of national security.
When I was in college, a history professor explained to us that we learn about earlier civilizations by studying their laws. We can tell what the social values are by how expensive the fine or how steep the punishment. For example, if it's against the law to steal sheep and the penalty was the lopping off of an arm, and it was also against the law to spit in someone's food and the penalty was banishment from the communal mess hall for one night, then we know that people had a tendency to both steal sheep and to spit in another's food but the sheep stealing was the more egregious offense. All that is back story for . . .Wow! Who is making counterfeit yogurt coupons? And how much are they profiting?
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From what I understand, the culture of yogurt is filled with bacteria, which sounds uncannily like the underbelly of society. Hmmmm . . . could it be the yogurt itself is in a scam against the supermarkets? Aha! That's it! Yogurt wanted more of a cut from the market's profits. The market refused. Hence the yogurt had to resort to illegal measures? Good lord! See what happens to a woman's imagination when her oldest is on his first date and she's waiting for him to text saying: "the movie's over. Come get us?" Or however a 14-year-old would spell it.
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Oops! And yuck!
An ode to September and the Wilderness of it all!September is Moose season here in New Brunswick. Yours truly has no license this year. So, I will be looking for another wild beast to slay, chop up, and to destroy into a million pieces to throw into my awesome pot of hard tax beans!!!
Maybe Asia, to wrestle a bear from one of their wild Kremilin Circus's... Never believe they are tame, always believe that their handlers forgot to feed em, and bring them a big bowl of honey nuts and Oh. Oh, the bowl is mighty small.. Oh, the bear swallowed the spoon... Now my hand.. Oh.. oh...
Africa, maybe. Maybe, a wild lion stew.. If I have nothing to do while laying in African dew... While the sun rises, as I welt my prey into desperation with my potato gun- wait a minute, who bought the bag of small potatoes... Man that lions mouth is big.. Man he is swallowing the potatoes whole and now...
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October to me is Hospital Month..Get out there, and get a flue, get a minor cut, or just plain out fake some back pain!
Go help a doctors retirement plan! Be proactive, and rest, enjoy the filet mignon steak, as you will be swept away at the incredible hospital stay with a sealy posturepedic bed! Electronic too!
Yes, go and get a small bump on the head- support our nurses, and give them a small wink when they crush your pain killers!
Thank you.
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October is when the Canadian Geese return to New Jersey. Which is odd, since they NEVER leave. We have gaggles of them all year long, apparently because they don't really like Canada. Tell me, of neighbors to the north, what have you done to kick out all your geese? Their babies are cute in the spring but that's about the only positive thing I can say about them. Our sidewalks are covered by their scat, they try to attack my dog when we walk past the neighborhood lake, they're just not nice. But every year in October, we notice their numbers increase. Please help!
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I believe they originally came for the Black Friday sales in November.
That explains so much, Melki. I'm now armed with the right information to create a strategy to get them to move to Mexico. Think they have Cinqo de Mayo sales there? Or is that just an American thing?
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Ah, did someone mention the frost laden soil of November month too?November- Some NHL ers like to call it Mo- vember.. For moustaches for charities..
Myself, I like to call it Roost-member. The time to get funky with the opposite sex, and after that a good chicken licken supper, deep fried, crispy with fries and gravy on the side would solve all the worlds problems, people.
Roost member, much better than November. Who thought of November, anyways. So hard to pronounce, so hard to put in Part 4 of my book... Gosh darn it all.
So, Roost member... I cannot say to much cause this is a family posting site... But you get it, don't yeah?
I know you will soon ask me what is so significant about December... Mekli, the jedi bear warrior princess..Alright- Not Santa Clause, and for sure not a hot bowl of Gumbo replacing a turkey dinner with the relatives...
No, it is what to get the wife for Christmas... If she is like Melki, she probably got the diamonds, the sports car, and the double Big Mac waiting for it to be detawed in the freezer downstairs...
No, just get me something more homey.. Like a wooden statue, a stone statue of Elvis, or a red leather suit that she can fit into from that old Baywatchy thing...
Do not make it too complicated, just so that the wooden vase can actually do a tweet whenever it runs out of water at 2 am in the morning.. Roses never die!!! Melki!!!
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Alright- Not Santa Clause, and for sure not a hot bowl of Gumbo replacing a turkey di..."
Well, I was going to ask for some books, but now I want a statue of a jedi bear warrior princess.
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I am surprised that such an intelligent bunch did not ask me about January! Ok!Well, January is broken resolution month. When you realize you cannot chew two bubble gum at the time without feeling guilty!!!
Damn it! One bubble gum can produce bubbles, I tried it many a times with one of my front teeth missing, for Gawds sake!
Do it! One bubble gum, trust me! Blow hard! Harder!
Ok, well, or otherwise buy my new book ( No it is not another bloody Supermarket book!)- Bubble gum buster! - The truth about bubble gum industry and corn syrup!
* No such a book exists yet- the editor and my literary agent currently chew chewing tobacco :(
Melki said: So, I survived my first yoga class earlier this week. It was fun but I was disappointed that we didn't go out drinking afterwards. I think you're supposed to bring your own refreshments to class. Just so you know, you can drink vodka mixed with Gatorade all day long and never get hungover or dehydrated.
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I can't believe I've lived to my ripe old age without ever trying this.
Dandelion wine, onion wine, and swish help me keep my mind in focus while my stomach plays hocus pocus.
Do we have stand up comedians here to be laughted at or is this humour section for seated reading laughterians?
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I'm usually a stand-up comedian when I have a cocktail in my hand. I'm sure it's a Pavlovian thing. I just can't help myself. Not sure if people are laughing at or with me, but I seldom care at the point. And at least I'm not drooling.
Standing or sitting, it's nice to have a place to drop a joke without my daughter just staring at me. (When I tell her that it's developmentally appropriate to not laugh at my jokes, she changes her look to a disappointed glare.)
We all are comedians from dawn to dusk..... saying something contrary that evokes a laughter or a "gift smile", or having someone choke at the dining table for what we remarked, or having another say, "that's a good one!" We all are! Maybe not polished to earn a living.
All of us or most of us are very good at inappropriate wise-cracks in appropriate places or vice versa. Does make sense as the life spark all the time, compared to a stand-up comedian between curtain rise and fall. So what, if we are seated.... our delivered words do have have people rise in uncontrollable laughter or fall off the chair, for that matter.
Excuse me, if I am repeating! Still fumbling in the many availble sections and optons to post comments. Who is an author? What qualifies. Does having published a title makes one? Or one need to have a minimum number of titles? Is the published quanity or sold quantity qualifies one as an author?
Thiru asked about authors, which made this author head to the dictionary to be sure I was, indeed, calling myself an appropriate name. Now, fellow authors, do sit down. Apparently, we've been underestimating our powers. This comes from The American Heritage College Dictionary, Third Edition. author: 1.a. The original wrier of a literary work. b. One who writes professionally. 2. An originator or creator. 3. God.
I definitely fulfill both #s 1 and 2 of the definition but had no idea about #3. Obviously I have not been living up to my potential. The world would be a much better, happier place had I known I was God. I've got so much to do now to get things in their proper order.
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http://terribleminds.com/ramble/2013/...
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Notice how I qualified you as GOD and never got thanked yet. We are all gods. We create children, we create opportunities, we do good for many and a little of the Tamil language. GOD is "kadavul" in Tamil literally meaning as GOD is INSIDE.
Was goodreads formed to "exert" pressure on individuals to pursuit reading and nurture writing (authoring!)
DO I ACTUALLY have to read books and volumes. Is not goodreads enough to kindle my reading, writing and responding skills. Appears enough!
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Goodness! Thiru, we have been rather rude. Yes, yes, thank you for pointing out that we are gods. I was certainly glad to learn of my divinity, though I am finding it rather difficult to convince my family and friends of the status. And if you don't really read our books, it would be very nice of you not to tell us!
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I still think world domination by committee might work. . .
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(Um...unless it was the voices in my head again. I keep getting them confused.)
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The Humour Club
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We're now watching Breaking Bad on Netflix. (Only on season 3, so no spoilers, please.) It looks like Walt and Skyler may be headed for a divorce, so I said, "Good! Now maybe he can meet a woman who's not a total bitch!" My husband said, "Hah! Fat chance of that happening!" After a brief GULP, he followed it with, "Because there's only one of those in the world and I've got her."