Chat Showing 1,101-1,150 of 1,659

[Rebecca]

I've been reading about 160 books a year, pretty consistently. About half of those are children's books (not picture books, but middle-grade fiction), and maybe 10% are non-fiction. I count print and audio, and maybe 25-30% are audio. I do a lot of history and memoir as audio books, which makes them harder to follow in some ways, but makes me more likely to keep going even if they drag.

[Jay]

Rebecca wrote: "...I do a lot of history and memoir as audio books, which makes them harder to follow in some ways..."

I've never had good luck with audio books, and I agree that they're harder to follow. It's too easy for the reader's voice to fade into the background as I busy myself with something else.

[Brena]

Jay wrote: "Rebecca wrote: "...I do a lot of history and memoir as audio books, which makes them harder to follow in some ways..."

I've never had good luck with audio books, and I agree that they're harder to..."

I have wondered about the difference between audio books and reading. They use different parts of the brain, so the experience has to be different.

[Rebecca]

Jay, I do audio books when doing things that don't require much thought. Sometimes I will realize that I've been focused too much on whatever I was doing, and have to rewind (or whatever the digital version of that would be) to pick up what I missed.

Brena--definitely different parts of the brain. I can read a book and listen to it and get very different things from it. When I want to study how a book works--like thinking about how a mystery is put together, or even just wanting to really absorb someone's language, I read it, listen, maybe repeat.

[Sonya]

I've done the Goodreads challenge for the past few years and just managed to pass 50 books, but I have to say that's throwing in about 75% audiobooks and a few graphic novels. For me the audio books are great, because I can get through more stories that way and can "read" a book while washing dishes, driving places to pick up kids, etc, folding laundry and just before falling asleep. (Made way better after I found that I could "Stop Playing" after a certain amount of time on the ipod.)

[Jay]

A Brief But Important HC Announcement

THE GRAND AND MOST GLORIOUS MODS OF THE HC, aside from liking to see their mention in all caps, have discovered that the County Commissioners of Skamania County, Washington have outlawed the poaching of Sasquatch. (See link to specific ordinance below.) As a result:

1. We must regretfully cancel this year's Annual Humour Club Sasquatch Hunt until it can be determined if this restrictive ordinance is a trend that might have spread to other counties across the country.
2. On legal advise, we are letting the membership know that the HC is in no way liable if you flaunt this law and bag yourself a Sasquatch in Skamania County.
3. Still, we are not opposed to rendering some assistance. However, our "Courtesy" Bail Fund is running a little low (Okay, it's broke.), so feel free to send Melki lots of donations. (Untraceable cash in large denominations preferred)
4. If the Sasquatch Rangers bag you while tying a Sasquatch to the roof of your vehicle, you may still use this well known perk of HC membership and request assistance from the HC "Courtesy" Bail Fund. After the Mods return from Happy Hour at Jiminy's Cricket Bar and Grill, we will gladly forward any remaining Bail Fund funds, no matter how small or insignificant.
5. If, despite the HC Bail Fund's contribution, you are still unable to make bail, you may at least be comforted in knowing that we tipped the cocktail waitress in your name, you still bagged a real used-to-be-live Sasquatch, and The Guinness Book of Records people are waiting to talk to you.

LINK to Skamania County Ordinance

Thank you for your kind understanding,

THE GRAND AND MOST GLORIOUS MODS OF THE HC
(Who like to see their mention in all caps...and the bold font is a nice touch, too, don't you think?)

[Peter]

Hi everyone; my funny new Book, "The Past is Going to Suck," is available for pre-sale (paperback only for a few days), and will be published August 24th.
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/4...

Thanks to the whoever who ordered the book's first pre-sale before there was even an announcment!
-Peter Wick

[Joel]

I just saw a pedestrian pause in a crosswalk on a six-lane road and start dancing. It was so funny it almost made me not want to run him over.

[Brena]

Joel wrote: "I just saw a pedestrian pause in a crosswalk on a six-lane road and start dancing. It was so funny it almost made me not want to run him over."

almost? crisis of conscience

[Val]

My new humorous fiction book Tramps, Thieves and IT is currently available for just $0.99.

However I'm ready to provide a free copy to the first three people, who are ready to provide honest feedback for the book. Please get in touch.

[Peter]

Out Friday:
The Past is Going to Suck: A Time Travelers Guide - The 20th Century
https://www.amazon.com/Past-Going-Suc...

[Peter]

The Past is Going to Suck - A Time Travelers Guide; The 20th Century

Now on sale:
https://www.amazon.com/Past-Going-Suc...

[Melki]

Uh . . . I'd like to welcome all you new authors to the group, but just a reminder - we have a place to pimp your book. It's called AUTHORS - Pimp Your Book Here.

https://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/...

[Martin]

I've noticed that The Humour Club is always strangely quiet on Saturdays and Sundays. Do you all log on via the office computer??? Or just nursing a hangover???

[Brena]

Martin wrote: "I've noticed that The Humour Club is always strangely quiet on Saturdays and Sundays. Do you all log on via the office computer??? Or just nursing a hangover???"

Group think? There are periods of few posts. I am retired and not always aware of weekends.

[Val]

Martin wrote: "I've noticed that The Humour Club is always strangely quiet on Saturdays and Sundays. Do you all log on via the office computer??? Or just nursing a hangover???"

Probably people have better things to do during the summer weekends. Having a hangover might be one of them :))

[Joel]

Martin wrote: "I've noticed that The Humour Club is always strangely quiet on Saturdays and Sundays. Do you all log on via the office computer??? Or just nursing a hangover???"

It's one of the conditions of house arrest.

[Jay]

Martin wrote: "I've noticed that The Humour Club is always strangely quiet on Saturdays and Sundays. Do you all log on via the office computer??? Or just nursing a hangover???"

Sunday???? Again!

[Brena]

Joel wrote: "Martin wrote: "I've noticed that The Humour Club is always strangely quiet on Saturdays and Sundays. Do you all log on via the office computer??? Or just nursing a hangover???"

It's one of the con..."

That makes the most sense.
Perhaps inmates don't have computer privileges on weekends.

[Jay]

Brena wrote: "That makes the most sense. Perhaps inmates don't have computer privileges on weekends. "

Or, there's always the remote possibility that some of us took our own advice
and 'got a life.'

It could happen.

[Joel]

Jay wrote: "Brena wrote: "That makes the most sense. Perhaps inmates don't have computer privileges on weekends. "

Or, there's always the remote possibility that some of us took our own advice
and 'got a lif..."

Good one!

[Guy]

I was on here last weekend, but as no one else was I left. After all talking to oneself is the first sign of madness.

[Jay]

Well, folks, once again the HC is in the 'End-of-Summer-Beginning-of-Fall Slump' when postings seem to dry up almost completely. Now, I realize that many of you are taking last minute summer vacations, but that is no reason to neglect your obligation to laugh.

In fact...

I'd like you to laugh right now. Go on... Do it. Do it now. Smiles, smirks and silly grins are also acceptable. AND, if it's a good one, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE post it for the rest of us so that we can fulfill our 'Life-Is-Funny-and-I'm-Just-So-Damn-Amused Quota' for the day.

Any old smile will do. For example:





You smiled! I saw it!

Makes everything better, doesn't it????

[Joel]

Now that it's after Labor Day, do I have to stop wearing white? And does that rule apply to underwear?

[Jay]

So Long, Love Bug. Volkswagen Beetle Hits The End Of The Road
The little German car that started in a Nazi-era factory and later carried countless hippies to concerts, lovefests and be-ins is nearly at the end of its 80-year journey. Volkswagen announced Thursday that it will cease production of its Beetle in July 2019.

Truly, the end of an era.

Yet again, the younger generation will be deprived of a unique experience. Seriously, what have today's kids got that can compete with driving your VW Love Bug, stoned out of your gourd on some primo hash, radio blaring Brewer and Shipley's One Toke Over the Line, as you pull onto that used-to-be remote beach where you got laid while sand fleas chewed on your skinny, young ass.

It's a shame, I tell you. Kids today are being denied the opportunity to build the foundation for stories they can blithely embellish with outrageous lies to impress their grandchildren. Such as, "Your grandmom and I met at Pompano Beach."

[Brena]

Everyone over 50 should have a VW story.

The first time I ever drove a car was when I went to a Filmore concert in SF. Everyone with me dropped acid, and it was up to me to drive us home to the San Joaquin Valley. I drove over Altamont Pass in first gear through fog. I was so young and so stupid.

[Brenda]

Jay wrote: "
So Long, Love Bug. Volkswagen Beetle Hits The End Of The Road

The little German car that started in a Nazi-era factory and later carried countless hippies to concerts, lovefests and be-ins is n..."

Gah! We had VW Beetles all through my youth. Loved them.

[Jay]

Brena wrote: "Everyone over 50 should have a VW story..."

Almost all of us do, but somehow the majority of these stories get told to the grandkids as, "Your grandma and I had a great time when we were young, mostly at church socials."

[Melki]

Brena wrote: "Everyone over 50 should have a VW story.

The first time I ever drove a car was when I went to a Filmore concert in SF. Everyone with me dropped acid, and it was up to me to drive us home to the Sa..."

The guy I wasted my twenties on drove one. That kind of ruined them for me.

[Rebecca]

Never had a bug. But we had a couple of VW buses when I was little. One of them puked its guts on Route 66, in the Mojave Desert between Needles and Barstow. I was amused to read Raina Telgemeier’s Sisters and find that her family had experienced much the same thing, including the frightening wait on the side of the road as a parent went for help. At least in our case we had one parent with us, while Dad hitchhiked to town. I think I was about 6 at the time.

[Martin]

I have just noticed that my anti-bacterial handwash lotion claims to "Kill 99.9% of bacteria". Aren't we now being told that 99.9 % of bacteria are harmless, or even beneficial (think probiotics)?

What if the 0.1% that the handwash lotion does not kill are the same 0.1% that are harmful?

[Jay]

Martin wrote: "I have just noticed that my anti-bacterial handwash lotion claims to "Kill 99.9% of bacteria". Aren't we now being told that 99.9 % of bacteria are harmless, or even beneficial (think probiotics)?
..."

Did you want a serious answer?

The unfortunate truth is that a fair percentage of that .1% survived because they are antibiotic resistant. We've manufactured these superbugs, yet people are still convinced that buying antibacterial soap is preferable to keeping their home basically clean and their immune system healthy. It's the natural vs. pharmaceutical argument.

Believe it or not there are even some studies that claim kids who were NOT allowed to eat mud pies grow up having a less effective immune system!

[Jay]

ASKING FOR A FRIEND: Let's just say for a wild-assed hypothetical (won't admit that it really happened, or will swear that it didn't), that you were offered an indecent proposal by a hooker quite obviously in her late fifties \ early sixties. What does it say about the way one looks when one is targeted by the oldest members of the world's oldest profession????

[Brenda]

Jay wrote: "ASKING FOR A FRIEND: Let's just say for a wild-assed hypothetical (won't admit that it really happened, or will swear that it didn't), that you were offered an indecent proposal by a hooker quite o..."

I think it says that "one" needs to get a snazzy new jacket and a fresh haircut...

[Joel]

Jay wrote: "ASKING FOR A FRIEND: Let's just say for a wild-assed hypothetical (won't admit that it really happened, or will swear that it didn't), that you were offered an indecent proposal by a hooker quite o..."

On the bright side, you're less likely to catch anything fatal.

[Brena]

Jay wrote: "ASKING FOR A FRIEND: Let's just say for a wild-assed hypothetical (won't admit that it really happened, or will swear that it didn't), that you were offered an indecent proposal by a hooker quite o..."

Where does this guy go to run into old prostitutes? Did he take her up on her offer? $20 or a rum and coke?

[Jay]

Brena wrote: "Where does this guy go to run into old prostitutes? Did he take her up on her offer? $20 or a rum and coke?"

WOW! I'm genuinely surprised at the responses to this particular post!

SEE: misconception -noun- an oops related to thinking.

Brena, might you rephrase your question to: 'Hypothetically, where does this guy go?'

Should there be any smidgen of truth to my hypothetical (and I'm not saying there is), I may have been visiting the local grocery store, which boasts a large, busy parking lot, open to the public day and night. Although, hypothetically, it was day.

Brenda's suggestion for a makeover is much appreciated, but she should know that one rarely wears a "snazzy new jacket" when simply going to pick up some meat and veg.

I'd like to say that Joel hit the nail on the head, but, in this case, he missed the nail completely. According to the CDC, persons 55 and older account for 19% of HIV cases in the US.
HIV Among People Aged 50 and Older , Feb. 12, 2018

While I will neither confirm nor deny any personal experiences, I did have to do a bit of research into prostitution for my latest humor book. It seems my main characters were going to run a bordello for a while, specifically in Colonial America. So, mea culpa., my post on this topic was actually a bit of a trick question.

THE CORRECT ANSWER IS: The only requirements for one to be approached by a hooker of any age or flavor is that one look male and solvent. And only the latter is non-negotiable.

There are many common myths about the world's oldest profession. Its practitioners go by a variety of names, including prostitute, hooker, working girl, streetwalker, call girl, escort, harlot, wench and others, but all belong to the genus mattresso backuso.

Hookers can be found anywhere, even in the nicest neighborhoods, and these women (and some men) inhabit every strata of society. Seriously, do you think a high-end call girl charges a thousand bucks an hour working in a slum? And the popular girls at world-renowned establishments, such as Nevada's Chicken Ranch, can make forty or fifty thousand dollars a week.

Just a couple of other related myths:

-Sailors are commonly associated with prostitutes, but not because they may have a whopping amount of cash available when they finally hit port. It's primarily because of the abysmal failure with "nice girls" of the pickup line, "Hi, I'm only going to be in port for 24 hours, so let's develop a deep and meaningful relationship in one monstrous damn hurry, shall we?"

-Various concepts of morality are simply not applicable when a very high percentage of prostitutes worldwide have no other opportunities available for them to keep themselves and their children from starving. "Yep, she's a trollop, but she didn't bury any of her kids this week." ...Sounds reasonably moral to me.

-"$20 or a rum and coke"... $20!!!! That's enough to buy a small harem for the evening in countries where the average income is one or two dollars a day.

-Humans are not the only species which trades sex for some form of compensation. (Ask a zoologist. Assuming he's not Born Again, he'll give you an honest answer.)

In conclusion...

Yes, Brena, there are hookers in your neighborhood, and also in everyone else's neighborhood. Prostitution may be the world's oldest profession simply because its practitioners are so adept at hiding in plain sight.

Hypothetically... ;-)

[Brena]

Caroline Myss claims that all women have a very strong prostitute archetype. Any time a woman feels like she owes a man something because he bought her dinner is seeing herself as a prostitute...and then there are gold-diggers. Marrying for financial security is a very prossie thing to do.

I lived in a town with an area where the Gulch Girls hung out.
How do you break up with a Gulch Girl?
You don't, you just lose your place in line.

[Melki]

Jay wrote: "
So Long, Love Bug. Volkswagen Beetle Hits The End Of The Road

The little German car that started in a Nazi-era factory and later carried countless hippies to concerts, lovefests and be-ins is n..."

Back to this topic, however briefly (I know hookers are more fun to talk about than cars) - I told my son that they were going to stop making VW Bugs. His response - "Now what excuse will kids use for randomly punching each other?" Pretty clever, I thought.

[K.A.]

Melki wrote: "Jay wrote: "
So Long, Love Bug. Volkswagen Beetle Hits The End Of The Road

The little German car that started in a Nazi-era factory and later carried countless hippies to concerts, lovefests and ..."

Yes, clever. I know his question wasn't a question, but you can introduce a new game. In my country, we pinch when we see a car plate with a string of the same number (111, 999. Doesn't apply to letters.) You can wish at the same time, but I have never trusted my future in the hands of car plates.

[Melki]

K.A. wrote: " In my country, we pinch when we see a car plate with a string of the same number (111, 999. Doesn't apply to letters.) You can wish at the same time, but I have never trusted my future in the hands of car plates."

I guess children finding nonsensical reasons to be cruel to one another is a universal thing.

[Brena]

Riding in cars with kids is always fun. "He's looking at me." "She crossed the line down the middle of the seat." Mine used to fight over who got to sit directly behind me because it was harder for me to reach through the seat and smack their legs on that side while I was driving.

[Jay]

Melki wrote: "I guess children finding nonsensical reasons to be cruel to one another is a universal thing."

Your son's remark was a nice out-of-the-box observation. Good for him.

However, I wouldn't place any bets on young men failing to find another reason to punch one another; it's sort of the nature of the beast. This behavior is not so much cruel as it is an odd form of bonding.

Note also, young females will hit boys they like, but not others.

[Melki]

Brena wrote: "Riding in cars with kids is always fun. "He's looking at me." "She crossed the line down the middle of the seat." Mine used to fight over who got to sit directly behind me because it was harder for..."

My husband used to talk about inventing what he called a Whap-Whap machine, which was essentially a wooden paddle that would whap-whap back and forth, alternately smacking both kids - much like the nun with her yardstick in The Blues Brothers. If you have more than two children . . . you have my sympathies.

[Rebecca]

You know, car seats are a great invention for that. We didn't have those problems with our boys. Partly no doubt it was their personalities and their relationship, but I'll bet part was because they couldn't reach each other, being strapped in car seats on opposite sides of the back seat :D

[Rebecca]

Of course, for that to work, you have to stop at 2.

[K.A.]

Torture is universal both between the children and towards the parents. There is some temporary shift special to cars which forces the worst out of people.

[Joel]

Friends don't let friends go unbruised.

[Brena]

Melki wrote: "Brena wrote: "Riding in cars with kids is always fun. "He's looking at me." "She crossed the line down the middle of the seat." Mine used to fight over who got to sit directly behind me because it ..."

I could have used that machine. Smack those little suckers. My grandkids are strapped into bucket seats with earphones, individual video machines, and healthy snacks. WTH I prefer the old ways.

[Jay]

Today is World Gorilla Day, and conservation groups have asked everyone to help our wild relatives (Yes, we're apes.) avoid extinction. Below is a link to a nice little video (~1 min) from our friends down in Sydney. If you wish to assist in this conservation effort, it really is a good idea to recycle your old phones. Note, here in the US, we've also retired our 500 lb. gorilla, and Dick Cheney is never coming back.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-Ztj...