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[Lisa]

I have never understood that controversy. Maybe it's because I have no idea what else to do when (American) football is on TV in my house other than just smile politely, nod occasionally, and drink a lot.

[Guy]

Melki wrote: "Let us pause to remember the 17th of November, and the infamous Heidi Bowl - http://www.history.com/this-day-in-hi...

The horror, the horror!"

What an extraordinary event Melki.

[Jay]

Lisa wrote: "I have never understood that controversy. Maybe it's because I have no idea what else to do when (American) football is on TV in my house other than just smile politely, nod occasionally, and drink..."

Try preparing a few questions that will let people think you're an avid fan. Start with, "Which team is the Yankees?"

[Lisa]

Jay wrote: "Try preparing a few questions that will let people think you're an avid fan. Start with, "Which team is the Yankees?"

Oh, is that a famous team?

[Rebecca]

Even I know that it's "the damn Yankees."

Though on reflection I'm not sure what sport they play. ;)

[Jay]

Charles Manson, cult leader and murder-rampage mastermind who terrified nation, dies at 83

I doubt many young people know who he is, or that many people will mourn this wacko's passing. The comment that I remember most about Manson was, "What better way to impress the parole board than to cut a swastika in your forehead?"

[Guy]

Jay wrote: "
Charles Manson, cult leader and murder-rampage mastermind who terrified nation, dies at 83


I doubt many young people know who he is, or that many people will mourn this wacko's passing. The c..."

There'll be some wacko/s somewhere mourning his passing. Perhaps even claiming he will rise again after 3 days.

[Joel]

Guy wrote: "Jay wrote: "
Charles Manson, cult leader and murder-rampage mastermind who terrified nation, dies at 83


I doubt many young people know who he is, or that many people will mourn this wacko's pas..."

Or at least a new biopic or three.

[Guy]

Joel wrote: "Guy wrote: "Jay wrote: "
Charles Manson, cult leader and murder-rampage mastermind who terrified nation, dies at 83


I doubt many young people know who he is, or that many people will mourn this..."

This seems inevitable.

[Melki]

Jay wrote: "
Charles Manson, cult leader and murder-rampage mastermind who terrified nation, dies at 83 ."

Couldn't happen to a nicer guy.

[Brena]

Jay wrote: "
Charles Manson, cult leader and murder-rampage mastermind who terrified nation, dies at 83


I doubt many young people know who he is, or that many people will mourn this wacko's passing. The c..."
Manson marked the end of an era. Hippies were no longer viewed as Peaceniks. Every redneck and criminal in the country grew their hair out so they could get on the sex, drugs, and rock & roll bandwagon.

And what about that young girl who recently married Manson? She is a story...a very creepy horror story.

And what about Squeaky Fromm up for parole? She is almost 70 now and still a scary woman.

[Melki]

Guy wrote: "There'll be some wacko/s somewhere mourning his passing. Perhaps even claiming he will rise again after 3 days."

Manson was actually a character in this season's American Horror Story, serving as mentor for a new psychotic cult leader.

[Lisa]

I HATE driving. I especially hate it during this busy time of year. And since I live in an area of the country where aggressive driving is the norm, I REALLY HATE driving. What I’ve discovered is that if I listen to 90s metal or grunge music at a very loud volume and scream/sing along with it. Otherwise, I’m too timid to be “out there” with those lunatics.

Today, my daughter and I were out running errands in horrible traffic. She’s 16 and just learning to drive, so I occasionally point out useful things to her when we’re out. I had the volume up as high as it would go (must have been set to 11) and screeched along with it. At one point Sublime’s song “Santeria” came on. As I screamed/sang the line “I got something for his punk ass” I glanced over at my daughter.

She had headphones in and her lips were not moving to my song. So I turned the volume down and popped an earbud out of her head. “Whatcha listening to?” I asked (actually, I think I yelled it). “The sound track to ‘Les Mis.’”

“You can’t survive traffic like this with ‘Les Mis.’”

She rolled her eyes and said “God, you’re so embarrassing.” Then put the headphones back in.

I’m embarrassing! Me!? She has blue hair right now! And I’m the embarrassing one?

[Joel]

Lisa wrote: "I HATE driving. I especially hate it during this busy time of year. And since I live in an area of the country where aggressive driving is the norm, I REALLY HATE driving. What I’ve discovered is t..."

It's time to introduce your daughter to vodka. Or Boone's Farm, or something.

[Brena]

Lisa wrote: "I HATE driving. I especially hate it during this busy time of year. And since I live in an area of the country where aggressive driving is the norm, I REALLY HATE driving. What I’ve discovered is t..."

You will probably be an embarrassment the rest of your life. Mother/daughter relationships are tricky. My daughter hated it when I wore her clothes or asked her friends what they were majoring in college. (She also wore my clothes and knew some of my friends better than I did.) She never talks to me about her work because she says it is too complicated for me to understand. Argh!!!! We were very close until she became a teenager and never got that closeness back.

[Lisa]

Joel wrote: "It's time to introduce your daughter to vodka. Or Boone's Farm, or something. "

I should always go to you for parenting advice, Joel! You talk sense!

[Lisa]

Brena wrote: "We were very close until she became a teenager and never got that closeness back. "

Yeah, I hear that's common. But sometimes when she's that kind of teen, I don't mind the distance.

[Melki]

Lisa wrote: "Brena wrote: "We were very close until she became a teenager and never got that closeness back. "

Yeah, I hear that's common. But sometimes when she's that kind of teen, I don't mind the distance."

My 23-year-old son, who used to be one of my best friends, was growing apart from me . . . then he moved out. Now that he doesn't see me everyday, he seems to like me again. He drops by the library, and talks to me for hours when I'm supposed to be working.

Weird, eh?

[Jay]

Melki wrote: "My 23-year-old son, who used to be one of my best friends, was growing apart from me . . . then he moved out. Now that he doesn't see me everyday, he seems to like me again..."

Sort of reminds me of...

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.
Attributed to Mark Twain
(However, probably not. Twain's father died when he was eleven, and this quote never appeared in print until several years after his death.)

[Joel]

Jay wrote: "Melki wrote: "My 23-year-old son, who used to be one of my best friends, was growing apart from me . . . then he moved out. Now that he doesn't see me everyday, he seems to like me again..."

Sort ..."

Reports of which were greatly exaggerated.

[Kate]

My theory of child-rearing...

The average sentence for murder is 10 years. They don't start turning into unbearable brats until 9. That first shot off the bow gives you pause, but you figure it's a phase. Plus, 9 more years of the phase or 10 years in jail?
Then, by the time they are 15 your answer to that question has totally changed but it's only 3 more years until sweet blessed relief. Thus do children survive childhood.

[Joel]

I just overheard two women of a certain avoirdupois in a Starbuck's complaining they had no time to work out, while going to town on large, thousand-calorie, coffee-based beverages.

[Melki]

Joel wrote: "I just overheard two women of a certain avoirdupois in a Starbuck's complaining they had no time to work out, while going to town on large, thousand-calorie, coffee-based beverages."

Just like the people who tell me they have no time to read . . . then launch into a detailed description of whatever show they're binge-watching.

[Jay]

Kate wrote: "My theory of child-rearing..."

My mother had a favorite curse that she liberally sprinkled on us, "May your children be half as bad as you were."

[Jay]

Joel wrote: "I just overheard two women of a certain avoirdupois in a Starbuck's complaining they had no time to work out, while going to town on large, thousand-calorie, coffee-based beverages."

Avoirdupois? That's rather vague. Are we discussing your average fat broads here or a genuine tonnage contest?

[Rebecca]

Jay wrote: "Kate wrote: "My theory of child-rearing..."

My mother had a favorite curse that she liberally sprinkled on us, "May your children be half as bad as you were.""

My aunt regretted wishing that on some of her kids. They were, and then came to stay with Grandma...

[Kate]

Joel wrote: "I just overheard two women of a certain avoirdupois in a Starbuck's complaining they had no time to work out, while going to town on large, thousand-calorie, coffee-based beverages."

On the other hand, as a woman I am forced to maintain cordial coffee-based relationship meetings with other women in my daughter's school where I too could probably be heard complaining about not having time to work out. Because workout time= selfish time but coffee meetings = making sure my daughter stays privileged.

[Melki]

Kate wrote: "Joel wrote: "I just overheard two women of a certain avoirdupois in a Starbuck's complaining they had no time to work out, while going to town on large, thousand-calorie, coffee-based beverages."

..."

Plus, drinking coffee whilst complaining is normally much more fun that working out.

[Brena]

Jay wrote: "Kate wrote: "My theory of child-rearing..."

My mother had a favorite curse that she liberally sprinkled on us, "May your children be half as bad as you were.""

My favorite curse is the Chinese one, "May you get everything you wish for." Pure evil!!!!

[Brena]

Joel wrote: "I just overheard two women of a certain avoirdupois in a Starbuck's complaining they had no time to work out, while going to town on large, thousand-calorie, coffee-based beverages."

Avoirdupois sounds sexy. Where these sexy women or simply mauvais ton?

There are 2 calories in a cup of coffee. Melt of couple of candy bars in it, and you have caught the train to fatty town.

[Brenda]

Joel wrote: "I just overheard two women of a certain avoirdupois in a Starbuck's complaining they had no time to work out, while going to town on large, thousand-calorie, coffee-based beverages."

I had to google "avoirdupois" to understand what you were saying. I'm hoping I burned an extra 2 calories doing that.

[Brenda]

Kate wrote: "My theory of child-rearing...

The average sentence for murder is 10 years. They don't start turning into unbearable brats until 9. That first shot off the bow gives you pause, but you figure it's ..."

When the boy with Fetal Alcohol (that I adopted) turned 13, I read the book called "Now I Know Why Tigers Eat Their Young." TOTALLY got it!!

[Joel]

Brena wrote: "Joel wrote: "I just overheard two women of a certain avoirdupois in a Starbuck's complaining they had no time to work out, while going to town on large, thousand-calorie, coffee-based beverages."

..."

"The Train to Fatty Town" is now my favorite thing!

[Brena]

Joel wrote: "I just overheard two women of a certain avoirdupois in a Starbuck's complaining they had no time to work out, while going to town on large, thousand-calorie, coffee-based beverages."

Most important, did they look like they could take a punch?

[Jay]

If you can get away from all the light pollution and find a truly dark sky, the best meteor shower of the year is tonight. Better yet, it peaks at about 9 PM EST instead of 4 in the morning, so you won't have to view it through your closed eyelids while snoring.

The Geminids Are Here

[Melki]

Jay wrote: "If you can get away from all the light pollution and find a truly dark sky, the best meteor shower of the year is tonight. Better yet, it peaks at about 9 PM EST instead of 4 in the morning, so you..."

Thanks for the heads up, Jay, though it looks like it will be cloudy, and maybe even snowing in central PA tonight.

[Joel]

Yes, thanks for the heads-up. Skies in the Great American Southwest are looking clear, and my nose will be pointed appropriately skyward tonight.

[Rebecca]

Stuck in the city. Not a lot of point in trying to look.

[Daren]

What does Christmas mean for the majority of us self published authors. I think of the 12 days of self publishing... Scrooge approved.

1. The usual "Gesh, I didn't know you wrote a book! Where did you find time for that" from festive long lost friends or relatives.

2. When your manly friends tell you "Oh, I did'nt have time to read your books, but my wife read it and she sure likes it... But she likes just about anything she reads"

3. Where can I get a copy of that. I don't got a credit card so I can't order it online... Do you got any free copies...

4. The wife tells you "Why are you spending so much time on that thing. You got wood to split!"

5. Your son tells you "You should have put more pictures in that novel, dad. Maybe then I would have read it"

6. Your local library tells you "Oh, what a cute little book... We will put it way up there on the top shelf where it will keep the dust from falling on the traditional books"

7. Consignment book stores say "Oh, we forgot to put them out there on the shelf space. Sorry you found the same box you brought them in, way back there in our managers office"

8. "Autograph my book, please! If we are lucky enough when you die, it may be actually worth double its price"

9. When you buy more books then you sell, you realize that it is much like bringing back your beer bottles to the depot.

10. When the fourth book sells at zero, you realize there is something in the Universe such as Omega.

11. At least when you go out at a bar with a many drunken patrons, they are surely amazed when you show them your free business book cards and think you are Hemmingway, that is until the hangover wears off.

12. You do so pathetic that you write another one... This one will surely break the 50 dollar mark.. Surely?

Merry Christmas to all the wonderful Self Published Authors out there! Bah humbugger!

[Rebecca]

Daren wrote: "What does Christmas mean for the majority of us self published authors. I think of the 12 days of self publishing... Scrooge approved.

1. The usual "Gesh, I didn't know you wrote a book! Where did..."

All I can say is...ouch.

[Daren]

It's all true! It all really happened to me!

[Kate]

Nurse's Christmas

1. I've had this pain for two weeks but no one invited me to Christmas so I need you to fix this pain. Right now.

2. No one invited me to Christmas so I've hanged/slashed/overdosed. I'm fine, really, just let me go home.

3. I KNOW you just reattached my arm and I almost died from infection yesterday, but I can't miss Christmas!

4. Look, it's Christmas so I can I just get some extra pain medication? It's Christmas!

5. Since it's Christmas I can drink in the hospital, right? Just one drink! It's Christmas!

6. See #5 for Smoking

7. Look, I know she's in the ICU but she seems fine. You realize if you keep her here you are ruining my kid's Christmas, right?

8. I know she COULD come home on Christmas but we are really busy and we just want to enjoy ourselves so could you keep Grandma for one more day?

9. Dilaudid! Dilaudid! Dilaudid! Dilaudid! Dilaudid! Dilaudid!

10. I'm not really a drug addict, I only tried Heroin because it's Christmas. Everybody tries it, geez.

11. I'm not an alcoholic. Sure my Blood Alcohol was 5.6 but everybody drinks on Christmas!

12. I KNOW I have diabetes but it's Christmas!

Sadly, all true. Kate, the Christmas RN

[Melki]

Kate wrote: "Nurse's Christmas

1. I've had this pain for two weeks but no one invited me to Christmas so I need you to fix this pain. Right now.

2. No one invited me to Christmas so I've hanged/slashed/overdo..."

Yikes! Both funny AND sad. And, I'm assuming you'll have to work because it's Christmas?

[Kate]

of course

[Brena]

Kate wrote: "Nurse's Christmas

1. I've had this pain for two weeks but no one invited me to Christmas so I need you to fix this pain. Right now.

2. No one invited me to Christmas so I've hanged/slashed/overdo..."
This is exactly how I pictured the ED on Christmas. I respect anyone working on that day.

[Rebecca]

Kate wrote: "Nurse's Christmas

1. I've had this pain for two weeks but no one invited me to Christmas so I need you to fix this pain. Right now.

2. No one invited me to Christmas so I've hanged/slashed/overdo..."
:(

[Daren]

9. Dilaudid! Dilaudid! Dilaudid! Dilaudid! Dilaudid! Dilaudid!

Kate it is great to see your list. Sometimes when I write I do feel like I am Dilauded from all the beer cans hanging around...

Your list is awesome!!!

[Joel]

Let's say you got the spiked eggnog-inspired notion to cold-mail copies of your humorous novel to famous people. Who would you send it to?

[Jay]

Joel wrote: "Let's say you got the spiked eggnog-inspired notion to cold-mail copies of your humorous novel to famous people. Who would you send it to?"

Movie director John Woo. I'd like it made into a movie with lots of things exploding for no apparent reason.

[Brena]

Joel wrote: "Let's say you got the spiked eggnog-inspired notion to cold-mail copies of your humorous novel to famous people. Who would you send it to?"

That is a tough one. Maybe David Sedaris or Sarah Silverman. If I wanted to follow the pattern of my life, I would go with Ron Perlman or Will Ferrel...two of my least favorite actors. Favorable response often comes from the most unlikely places.