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I like that. She is not Birthday Nice. My new phrase.

Someone asked me if If I wanted to join her team of erotica writers. Ugh! I could not use words like moaning, heaving, throbbing, and gasping without laughing.
50 Shades of Grey was a real low for publishing. Old men crotch novels brought to the mainstream. Double Ugh!!!

http://boingboing.net/2011/10/26/60th...
I remember hounding my parents for a set of these. Then..."
I bought a pet rock when I was 13. Be proud that you weren't THAT stupid.

http://boingboing.net/2011/10/26/60th...
I remember hounding my parents for a set ..."
When I was young, I wanted a mood ring SO badly. Remember those?
Richard wrote: "When I was young, I wanted a mood ring SO badly. Remember those?"
It breaks my heart that I can't find mine. They are, however, still available on Amazon.
It breaks my heart that I can't find mine. They are, however, still available on Amazon.
Brenda wrote: "I bought a pet rock when I was 13. Be proud that you weren't THAT stupid.."
Remember invisible dogs?

These used to be all the rage on east coast boardwalks every summer when I was a kid.
Remember invisible dogs?

These used to be all the rage on east coast boardwalks every summer when I was a kid.
Brenda wrote: "I bought a pet rock when I was 13. Be proud that you weren't THAT stupid."
Believe it or not, the advertising exec who came up with the idea of the pet rock made $15 million selling them. Not bad for a dumb idea.
Believe it or not, the advertising exec who came up with the idea of the pet rock made $15 million selling them. Not bad for a dumb idea.

It breaks my heart that I can't find mine. They are, however, still available on Amazon."
I didn't know that!

Then why not write using words like laughing, chuckling, giggling? Sex is really rather funny, when you think about it.

How about in the bathroom? I've found that one raises some questions.


How about weddings? It is probably in bad taste to roll about laughing raucously when the clergyman asks "Will you take this man/woman to be your awful wedded ...?"
I have always disliked weddings. My own, mildly; other members of the family - intensely. I have reached the age when funerals are preferable. One can usually share many cheerful memories of an old friend with others after a funeral, and have a genuine laugh, but at weddings one only has forebodings that drive me to drinking too much.

Death At A Funeral. Funniest movie ever! British version.
Brena wrote: "I should wear a tee that says, "Don't hate me because I am laughing." or "When I cry it looks like I am laughing." I am the queen of inappropriate laughing. Funerals, muggings, being criticized, li..."
It's okay to laugh during sex, as long as you don't point.
It's okay to laugh during sex, as long as you don't point.

Pointing really drives some people insane under any circumstances. Laughing during sex can cause really awkward moments. oh well.....
Joel wrote: "It's okay to laugh during sex, as long as you don't point..."
Nonsense. Laugh, point, cry, chat, chew gum... Frankly, I don't care just as long as she doesn't put her clothes back on.
Nonsense. Laugh, point, cry, chat, chew gum... Frankly, I don't care just as long as she doesn't put her clothes back on.
Jay wrote: "Joel wrote: "It's okay to laugh during sex, as long as you don't point..."
Nonsense. Laugh, point, cry, chat, chew gum... Frankly, I don't care just as long as she doesn't put her clothes back on."
I thought you were going to say, break out of the duct tape.
Nonsense. Laugh, point, cry, chat, chew gum... Frankly, I don't care just as long as she doesn't put her clothes back on."
I thought you were going to say, break out of the duct tape.
Am I the only one who is disturbed by the restriction of public and media access to non-classified government information?
Trump administration seeks to muzzle U.S. agency employees
Employees at the Environmental Protection Agency, the Interior Department, the Department of Agriculture and the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) have seen directives from the newly minted leadership seeking to limit how they communicate to the public, according to multiple sources.
Trump administration seeks to muzzle U.S. agency employees
Employees at the Environmental Protection Agency, the Interior Department, the Department of Agriculture and the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) have seen directives from the newly minted leadership seeking to limit how they communicate to the public, according to multiple sources.
Jay wrote: "Am I the only one who is disturbed by the restriction of public and media access to non-classified government information?
Trump administration seeks to muzzle U.S. agency employees
Employees ..."
Nope. I am horrified. To whom should we address our complaints?
Trump administration seeks to muzzle U.S. agency employees
Employees ..."
Nope. I am horrified. To whom should we address our complaints?
Stuart wrote: "Brena wrote: "I should wear a tee that says, "Don't hate me because I am laughing." or "When I cry it looks like I am laughing." I am the queen of inappropriate laughing. Funerals, muggings, being ..."
I tend to think of a line out of "Ulysses", where one of the characters at a funeral stares at the ground gravely. And I can't listen to a synagogue or church service without thinking of Michael Palin saying, "Oh, God, you are so big...so absolutely huge...Gosh, we're all really impressed down here, I can tell you!"
I tend to think of a line out of "Ulysses", where one of the characters at a funeral stares at the ground gravely. And I can't listen to a synagogue or church service without thinking of Michael Palin saying, "Oh, God, you are so big...so absolutely huge...Gosh, we're all really impressed down here, I can tell you!"
Melki wrote: "Jay wrote: "Am I the only one who is disturbed by the restriction of public and media access to non-classified government information?
Nope. I am horrified. To whom should we address our complaints?"
Checks and balances... Theoretically, congress would be the correct place to register your complaint, but I wonder if a Republican congress is at all interested in addressing the problem.
Nope. I am horrified. To whom should we address our complaints?"
Checks and balances... Theoretically, congress would be the correct place to register your complaint, but I wonder if a Republican congress is at all interested in addressing the problem.

At funerals one should always stare gravely.
(Have I just taken sucker bait? Being a bit autistic I don't always know)

That is joke is funny. I will use it and alienate people.

Trump administration seeks to muzzle U.S. agency employees
Employees ..."This is truly more than deplorable. This is the classic first act of a dictator.
Brena wrote: "This is truly more than deplorable. This is the classic first act of a dictator."
I agree. If Trump wants to stop being compared to Hitler, he shouldn't act like him. Spin is normal politics, but restricting media access is indeed deplorable!
Between this and his "alternative facts," is it any wonder that George Orwell's 1984 is again a bestseller on Amazon!
I agree. If Trump wants to stop being compared to Hitler, he shouldn't act like him. Spin is normal politics, but restricting media access is indeed deplorable!
Between this and his "alternative facts," is it any wonder that George Orwell's 1984 is again a bestseller on Amazon!

Jay wrote: "Checks and balances... Theoretically, congress would be the correct place to register your complaint, but I wonder if a Republican congress is at all interested in addressing the problem."
Of course they aren't - they're too busy having all their dreams come true.
But, perhaps we should move this discussion to one of the political threads . . .
Of course they aren't - they're too busy having all their dreams come true.
But, perhaps we should move this discussion to one of the political threads . . .
Melki wrote: "...perhaps we should move this discussion to one of the political threads..."
I did think about that before my original post, Melki. However, this is more of an 'over the back fence' political discussion than Politically Incorrect, so I wasn't really sure where to post my outlandishly astute comments.
Regardless, if you think it should move, by all means, let's move it. Just as long as you don't send out a directive not to talk to the press or the public... Oh, wait... That was the White House, not The Humour Club. My mistake. :-)
Seriously, whatever you decide is fine with me.
I did think about that before my original post, Melki. However, this is more of an 'over the back fence' political discussion than Politically Incorrect, so I wasn't really sure where to post my outlandishly astute comments.
Regardless, if you think it should move, by all means, let's move it. Just as long as you don't send out a directive not to talk to the press or the public... Oh, wait... That was the White House, not The Humour Club. My mistake. :-)
Seriously, whatever you decide is fine with me.
I tend to think of this topic as the place for posting chatty, gossipy, get-to-know you bits, not the subjects we're told we shouldn't talk about like religion and politics.
That said, if someone wants to take a swing at religion, by all means - have at it!
That said, if someone wants to take a swing at religion, by all means - have at it!
Melki wrote: "I tend to think of this topic as the place for posting chatty, gossipy, get-to-know you bits, not the subjects we're told we shouldn't talk about like religion and politics.
That said, if someone ..."
And save all that Hail-and-brimstone To The Chief stuff for your blogs!
That said, if someone ..."
And save all that Hail-and-brimstone To The Chief stuff for your blogs!
Melki wrote: "I tend to think of this topic as the place for posting chatty, gossipy, get-to-know you bits, not the subjects we're told we shouldn't talk about like religion and politics.
That said, if someone wants to take a swing at religion, by all means - have at it!"
I'm not sure that's appropriate, Melki. While I'll take a swing at politics anytime, anywhere—I prefer a much more scientific approach to religion.

That said, if someone wants to take a swing at religion, by all means - have at it!"
I'm not sure that's appropriate, Melki. While I'll take a swing at politics anytime, anywhere—I prefer a much more scientific approach to religion.


Joel wrote: "And save all that Hail-and-brimstone To The Chief stuff for your blogs!"
I completely understand, Joel. People should not be talking about our new president who, with less than a week in office, achieved a lower approval rating than Richard Nixon. Blatant lies and "alternative facts" are certainly no cause for alarm. :-)

In fact, the president's press secretary also promotes this view.
I completely understand, Joel. People should not be talking about our new president who, with less than a week in office, achieved a lower approval rating than Richard Nixon. Blatant lies and "alternative facts" are certainly no cause for alarm. :-)

In fact, the president's press secretary also promotes this view.

I've always found it impossible to argue about religion with anyone when their answer is always "But, God . . . "

That said, if someone ..."
Thank you, Melki. I needed a safe zone.

Unless it's a teenage girl. They always argue with an eye roll and "But, God. . . " sometimes there's a "like" between "But" and "God." For example:
But, like, God, how am I supposed to know the stupid dog wanted out? I was wearing headphones! Why can't he tap me on the shoulder or something?"

Tried it. Received over a thousand free downloads. Few people ever get around to reading free books, though. They download them on impulse and when they have nothing they know they want to read in that moment, then they start perusing the freebies. I know this because I've actually had readers contact me via my website to let me know that they "finally" got around to reading my book (that I had put up as a freebie a couple years prior) and that they loved it. The worst part of that is, they usually then ask me to alert them as to when the next book will be made free.
I don't do that any more.

Lisa wrote: "Does anyone else feel guilty for refusing to buy Girl Scout cookies but never feel guilty for refusing to buy Boy Scout popcorn?"
Every time!
Every time!
Stuart wrote: "I've put my first novel into the Amazon KDP program and today (27th Jan) am offering the eBook version of Driven to Distraction for free. Has anyone else tried this before? Will let you know if I g..."
Lisa's experience was mine as well. I've had over 10,000 free downloads of three books, which are probably still gathering electronic dust in Kindles all over the world. Worse, my books are now available for free download on a whole slew of websites I never authorized (or even knew about, for that matter). Depends on what you're after, I guess. If your book is one of a series, an entry book, and you've designated it a loss leader, it might not be a bad thing to do.
Lisa's experience was mine as well. I've had over 10,000 free downloads of three books, which are probably still gathering electronic dust in Kindles all over the world. Worse, my books are now available for free download on a whole slew of websites I never authorized (or even knew about, for that matter). Depends on what you're after, I guess. If your book is one of a series, an entry book, and you've designated it a loss leader, it might not be a bad thing to do.
Stuart wrote: "I've put my first novel into the Amazon KDP program and today (27th Jan) am offering the eBook version of Driven to Distraction for free. Has anyone else tried this before? Will let you know if I g..."
I got it. Thanks, Stuart. I'll try to get to it soon.
The problem with me and ebooks is that there is no VISUAL REMINDER to read a certain book. My Kindle is stuffed with hundreds of fantastic looking ebooks . . . but I never remember they're there. When I'm looking for my next read, I reach for something from that stack that's sitting beside my bed.
I got it. Thanks, Stuart. I'll try to get to it soon.
The problem with me and ebooks is that there is no VISUAL REMINDER to read a certain book. My Kindle is stuffed with hundreds of fantastic looking ebooks . . . but I never remember they're there. When I'm looking for my next read, I reach for something from that stack that's sitting beside my bed.
Stuart wrote: "Joel wrote: "Stuart wrote: "I've put my first novel into the Amazon KDP program and today (27th Jan) am offering the eBook version of Driven to Distraction for free. Has anyone else tried this befo..."
You might want to check out sites like this one first:
http://www.trainingauthors.com/47-pla...
You might want to check out sites like this one first:
http://www.trainingauthors.com/47-pla...

Who can refuse Girl Scout cookies, those little crack mongers with their thin mints and such. I have to hunt them up in the corner of a grocerie store like the addict I am. "Hey you got anything for me?"...
Popcorn..., I can go to the theater for that, they should be selling fudge or brownies, gourmet coffee, etc.
I have no compunction about declining both girl scout cookies and boy scout popcorn. I don't need over-priced junk food. I far prefer to make my own cheap junk food. The only GS cookies I consider at all edible are the mint-chocolate ones, and they are only just okay. The chocolate tastes more like paraffin.
And, just to reference a post way up the line...There's been a bit of a run on Orwell's 1984 at our library. Just sayin'.
And, just to reference a post way up the line...There's been a bit of a run on Orwell's 1984 at our library. Just sayin'.
As a connoisseur of cheap bookshelves, I'll throw one together every now and then. Then, friends and relatives notice that I CAN put cheap furniture together and, literally, beg assistance assembling their new...whatever. Apparently, their mechanical ability is based on the concept:
I
Know
Extra parts
Are okay.
I never understood why putting 'tab A' into 'slot B' is so intimidating for so many people.
I
Know
Extra parts
Are okay.
I never understood why putting 'tab A' into 'slot B' is so intimidating for so many people.


Speaking of extra parts, that's the REPI machine's doing (see below). I was asked to write a guest blog to promote the upcoming Mystery Thriller Week and I did it Urban Legion funny conspiracy-style, with Assemble At Home Furniture Corporation. I didn't use IKEA since I don't want to get sued. It's amusing, I think--check it out. http://mysterythrillerweek.com/2017/0...

"
My grannie had one, back in the 1940s. I guess it got thrown out when her house was sold. It was so out of date that Pasteur's "germ theory" was still regarded as unproven.
Do you remember that old joke about the guy who saw a book in a bookshop window, titled "How to Hug". He bought it but when he got it home he found that he had bought volume 16 of an extensive encyclopaedia.
Martin wrote: "Do you remember that old joke about the guy who saw a book in a bookshop window, titled "How to Hug". He bought it but when he got it home he found that he had bought volume 16 of an extensive encyclopaedia."
It's an oldie, but it's been so long since I've heard it that I let loose a chuckle.
It's an oldie, but it's been so long since I've heard it that I let loose a chuckle.
Interesting take on characters. Worth a read.
Fictional characters make 'experiential crossings' into real life, study finds
It’s a cliche to claim that a novel can change your life, but a recent study suggests almost a fifth of readers report that fiction seeps into their daily existence.
Fictional characters make 'experiential crossings' into real life, study finds
It’s a cliche to claim that a novel can change your life, but a recent study suggests almost a fifth of readers report that fiction seeps into their daily existence.
Books mentioned in this topic
The Book of Heroic Failures (other topics)Fox in Socks (other topics)
Green Eggs and Ham (other topics)
Fox in Socks (other topics)
Fox in Socks (other topics)
More...
Authors mentioned in this topic
Katherine May (other topics)Richard Osman (other topics)
David Sedaris (other topics)
Christopher Moore (other topics)
Christopher Buckley (other topics)
More...
I was amused when I read that the wholesome lady who used to present the children's TV "Blue Peter" had (a) been writing erotica and (b) her erotica had been judged the worst of Bad Sex.
There must be many reasonably good books ruined by crass sex. I am thinking particularly of "The Savage Garden" by Mark Mills. It was recommended by a friend and I did enjoy the story, but there were two crummy and totally irrelevant sex scenes that were quite out of place. It was as if his publisher had read the first draft and told him that it was ok but he would have to sex it up a bit for publication.