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Melki wrote: "Joel wrote: "I thought she said 'bender'."That does sound like our Lisa."
It was a blender and I was NOT on a bender, though few people seem to believe me about that...anyway, I was making a breakfast smoothie with a hand blender. I thought I'd throw in some raw nuts for some healthy fats. But the blender clogged up so I pulled it out and (stupidly) used my forefinger to clear the blades. At the same time I thought I had the forefinger of my other hand on the release button, but apparently it was (stupidly) on the power button.
I pressed it.
My knuckle bone stopped the thing from chopping off the top of my finger. It was bandaged up for a while, making my forefinger constantly point at whatever was in front of me.
The worst part was my son's perpetual nagging for me to do a Bill Clinton impression.
I have since promised myself I will only do real cocktails with real blenders sitting on a counter. They're much safer for me.
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Just don't try to determine the meaning of the word "is".
And stay away from cigars. And blenders.
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I'm living off my trust fund now and I'll join you for a little jam any time, Joel. I don't get to play as often as I'd like to, but when I do, it's through headphones wired to a small processor connecting my strat and the iPod. My wife in the other room can't hear a thing and I'm bouncing around the room like Pete Townsend.That way I don't piss off the neighbors, Melki.
Lisa wrote: "Melki wrote: "Joel wrote: "I thought she said 'bender'."That does sound like our Lisa."
It was a blender and I was NOT on a bender, though few people seem to believe me about that...anyway, I wa..."
So how was the smoothie?
Scott wrote: "So how was the smoothie?"I never got around to drinking that smoothie, but I did create a new recipe for vodka lemonade last week that I served at a bar-be-cue without anyone losing a digit, or a limb, or much of anything else.
Joel wrote: "I was thinking about what I would do if I'd been born with a trust fund and not just a big nose. I've narrowed it down to playing guitar four hours a day, writing more songs than Neil Young, and r..."Joel, it sounds as if you're wishing you were Jimmy Buffett.
Actually, Joel, I take back that Buffett comment. It really sounds like you want to be my son. He just came up from the basement after spending the entire day jamming with "the band." The kid spends his day making music, reading and snuggling with the girlfriend. And no--he doesn't have a trust fund in his future (unless all my books become blockbusters).
God bless! At that age I was also jamming in the basement and my parents (God bless them!) were two flights up with enough insulation between floors to tolerate the 'rock' fighting with The Lawrence Welk polkas each week.
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Yes, Happy New Year to all our group members. So, does anyone actually eat the so-called "good luck" foods - pork & sauerkraut or black-eyed peas - today? I'm having leftover Chinese from last night and considering it lucky that I don't have to cook.
And here's to an enjoyable 2026! Cheers! The good luck dishes never seem to sound good on New Year's Day. I'm actually fixin' to go to (that's the southern chick coming out of me) the Korean market in a few minutes. They always have the freshest fish in town. Maybe pick up some sashimi-grade salmon and see what else looks inspiring there.
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Thanks, Lisa. But aren't you getting a little ahead of yourself? Or are you just booked that heavily?
Oh hell. That's exactly why I should NEVER type anything on my phone. Not only are the letters too close together, I'm a little on the lazy side when it comes to pulling out a pair of reading glasses, hence 2026 in lieu of 2016. ~sigh~ unless my phone is a portal to another dimension. That could explain so much!
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Maybe by then we'll have personal jet packs.
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My issue exactly. Though I like Melki's idea, too. Or the phone as portal. It does seem to take us somewhere other than where/when we are :p
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Ah, love.
Feeling cynical and blackhearted, I came home and hid the receipt in a cookie jar in case they break up before February 14th.
Well, he can't blame you for being practical! And, he doesn't have to know anyway. A month can take a year when they're that age, and you may be prescient to some degree.
Cute story, what a thoughtful young man.
I'm impressed, Melki. You done good with that boy! My son's girlfriend's sweet-16 is next Thursday. They've been an item since last April and he has no idea what he's giving her. I feel like I've failed all his future babes by not training him properly.
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Melki wrote: "At the grocery store, my oldest son begged me to buy a huge stuffed fox as a Valentine's gift for his girlfriend. With promises of "I'll pay you back," he proudly carried the thing to the checkout...."Rebecca wrote: "And I didn't know about those good-luck foods. We ate insta-meals from Trader Joe's last night, after finally arriving home from our Xmas trip to Seattle."
So cute it hurts!
Rebecca wrote: "I suspect they will be like their father."I understand that, no sense giving them ideas. Start showering them with gifts and they get to expect it.
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How nice of you to admit that "coping" is a required skill for the male of the species.
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I saw several gas (petrol for you Brits, right?) stations today with signs up saying gas is only $1.49 a gallon! By the time I got home I began to wonder if maybe I found a portal to go back in time. But then I saw myself in the mirror and realized I was still the age I am. ~sigh~ Still, the price is so low I'm suspicious about an ill wind blowing.
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There's also a correlation between low gas prices and obesity. Not only is there more incentive to drive somewhere for fast food, there's extra money to do so. I heard it on the radio this morning, so it must be true.
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Fuel for the car, fast food -- it's gas either way.
America's fascination with the automobile (vs. public transportation) is not dependent on gas prices. Good times and bad, people will buy a car and make adjustments for the economics.
The obesity thing... I don't think that's so much dependent on the availability of an automobile as it is on availability of poor quality food. Then again, it's ridiculously easy to blame the food corporations for targeting the market with the perfect proportion of fat, sugar and salt to trigger a response in the consumer's brain inclining them to buy more fat, sugar and salt. However, the truth is that the food consumer is simply not interested in the 'health vs. instant gratification' argument.
And, let's be real! Is eight teaspoons of sugar in a can of coke really bad for you? Obviously not, we give it to our overweight children, who for the most part, don't drive an automobile.
Melki wrote: "There's also a correlation between low gas prices and obesity. Not only is there more incentive to drive somewhere for fast food, there's extra money to do so. I heard it on the radio this morning, so it must be true. "While I believe everything the media tells me, it doesn't explain my figure. I get my 10K steps in (even got a tracker to prove it to
Can you find someone on the radio to say that ain't true? Please?
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Nate made an egg that said Pete is a butt which prompted Pete to make an egg that said Nate is more of a butt. So, their father made an egg that said Nate AND Pete are butts.
Thankfully, there was no bloodshed, so, it turned out to be more of a Trump/Cruz debate rather than a Trump rally.
Melki wrote: "As per usual, yesterday's Easter egg dyeing festivities devolved into an orgy of depravity and mudslinging."For a minute there, I thought you attended this Easter Egg Hunt:
http://www.nbcconnecticut.com/news/lo...
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For a minute there, I thought you attended this Easter Egg Hunt:
http://..."
Wasn't that awful? Somehow, I suspect Trump involvement.
My dislike of crowds meant that we always had private egg hunts for the boys. And, since the "boys" are pretty much grown now, we decorate eggs just for the opportunity to insult one another.
Joel wrote: "I think it's time ordinary people stopped using the words 'zeitgeist' and 'narcissist'. It's just so wrong."And can we stop with the ubiquitous "so"? Why is it no one can answer a question or begin a conversation without prefacing it with "so . . ."
Lisa wrote: "Joel wrote: "I think it's time ordinary people stopped using the words 'zeitgeist' and 'narcissist'. It's just so wrong."And can we stop with the ubiquitous "so"? Why is it no one can answer a qu..."
Like, totally!
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It has been a bit quiet. I suppose it needs two people to start a conversation about something. Anything.
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Fair enough. Let's talk about being up in the middle of the night.
I have always felt that nature gave me a bit of a raw deal, genetically speaking. Most of my family got good looks and charm. I got insomnia. Not exactly equitable.
Mother Nature can be a real bitch sometimes!
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Fair enough. Let's talk about being up in the middle of the night.
I have ..."
Try not to lose sleep over it, Jay. And Rebecca, we're working on a group read of a Humour Club author, but yeah, group reads have been getting smaller and farther between. Busy people, busy lives.
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I gave up on group reads since you and I were usually the only participants. And then, last December . . . well, you can go back and read all the scintillating conversation that occurred.
Maybe we should read one of Trump's books for a laugh?
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For a laugh, or for a retch?
Jay wrote: "Will wrote: "It has been a bit quiet. I suppose it needs two people to start a conversation about something. Anything."Fair enough. Let's talk about being up in the middle of the night.
I have ..."
You may put your insomnia to good use taking your night time to figure out new ways to achieve good looks and charms, or simply read those monster books to replace a handsome face for a handsome brain.
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The Humour Club
Books mentioned in this topic
The Book of Heroic Failures (other topics)Fox in Socks (other topics)
Green Eggs and Ham (other topics)
Fox in Socks (other topics)
Fox in Socks (other topics)
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Authors mentioned in this topic
Katherine May (other topics)Richard Osman (other topics)
David Sedaris (other topics)
Christopher Moore (other topics)
Christopher Buckley (other topics)
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That does sound like our Lisa.