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Rants: OT & OTT
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Something's really bugging me...literally
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Kat was right. It's really more of a diet. It's based on the Paloelithic (or Caveman) diet, but is even more restrictive. It will go on for about three months, unless I die of starvation or boredom first.Anyone have any delicious recipes for me that involve no dairy, no grains of any kind, no sugars, no nightshade vegetables, no caffeine, no chocolate, no alcohol, no bananas, no cucumber, no zucchini, no tapioca, no blueberries, tropical fruits...? I'm probably forgetting something. Basically, I am left with all sources of protein including eggs, most vegetables and most low-glycemic fruits.
Sjm, you're doing that on purpose? For months? And it's good for you?For health reasons, I put myself on a restricted diet (at least I thought it was restrictive till I read about yours). It's been only a few days and I've found it to be easy. Changes I thought would be terrible aren't terrible at all. But then I went to the doctor today and when I gave him my food diary covering the past several days, he said it was perfect -- but that it's also unnecessary. I had thought a recent diagnosis was dire based on what the nurse told me over the phone, but in today's appt. he said it isn't dire at all. Quite mild, really. Even so, I think I'll stick to the changes I've made because they can't hurt and they're probably good for me.
The only recipe I can think of for you is turn on your water faucet, fill a glass, and drink.
An update on the palm plant: By morning it will probably be deceased. The insecticide I bought worked wonders. I haven't seen a gnat in at least 24 hours. However, I've been itching like crazy and my lungs haven't been happy. I'm sure it was the insecticide affecting me, so I took the plant out to my deck tonight to let the weather destroy it. Too bad. It's a beautiful plant.When I came back in the house, my lungs were no longer reacting. The itching is dying down, too.
I didn't follow the instructions on the package. Didn't read them, really. I just glanced at them, saw something about teaspoons or tablespoons and thought if a little bit is good, a lot should be spectacular. I poured tons of the stuff on the plant's dirt. Bad idea.
I snooped around the net tonight and saw mention of how hazardous it is to breathe the dust or fumes from the product. I may be dead before the plant is. If so, please tell the authorities it was the Miss Palm Plant in the living room with the insecticide.
This just occurred to me - likely too late, of course. (Did I mention I am not eating much?) I don't know about gnats, but I killed some aphids off of a plant once by spraying them with a mixture of water, garlic and black pepper and then wrapping the plant in a big plastic bag. Rinsed the carcasses off in the morning and voila - less dead plant.Yes, the diet is being followed on purpose, as prescribed, for health reasons. I do drink a lot of water. One of my favourite dishes so far: two bison patties layered with romaine lettuce and topped with avocado and red onion. That's about as good as it gets.
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Today we ate lunch at Isaac's, best restaurant in Cork. (This is a sort of a joke, among others on the owners of Isaac's. It is owned by the Arbutus Lodge, most expensive restaurant in Cork, excellent reputation, as a training ground for chefs and other staff before they're let loose on the big spenders... And it walks away with the big prize which I'm sure the management would've like for their flagship instead. And not for the first time either. In thirty years that I've been eating at Isaac's, going back to the days when it was a jumped-up extension to a student hostel, I've had only one meal there that wasn't up to standard, and that one would have won a prize in some of the pricey restaurants down the street, it just wasn't up to Isaac's standard.)
Today I ordered panfried prawns with chili and coriander, which they wanted to serve with basmati rice, and told them to hold the rice. I was offered plain chips or country potatoes roast with whole garlic and rosemary (also super off the side dishes of another of the party) but asked for a green salad instead because they make that with a special preserved thinly sliced baby cucumber that I like. I should have taken the plain chips, because the rice would have cooled the chili, and all I had was some cooked cherry tomatoes (I sent for more of these) in the sauce, and my wine. Upshot is that, because I don't eat rice, I'm now, six in the evening and home again, still as pisjed as schkunk.
We should not forget the cooling qualities of rice with spicy dishes.
Frankly, except for the nutted brown rice in the dish I invented so as not to have to eat plain boiled rice, I just don't miss rice. My wife, who went to an English boarding school, actually likes rice pudding. I'd miss pasta if I were a celiac, but rice, with that one (tasty) exception, you can keep as just another Nothing Staple, stuff you eat to stay alive rather than for taste.
That reminds me. I can't have shrimp either.
Mod
Andre Jute wrote: "Shrimp or shellfish in general?"Just shrimp.
I am going to be a riot at Christmas parties this year!
Late to the party - again! Been busy writing a couple of reviews. Which, praise God I won't feel the need to do anytime soon as after I finished reading Katie's Treespeaker, I opened the first book on the top of my TBR pile and couldn't get through the first 10 pages, then opened the second one and it is showing promise but I suspect I can just give it some stars here on GR and that should be that.But nevermind, this was just the thread I needed to get the juices flowing again. Too many chuckles to single any out, but know they are appreciated! I swear I belly laughed at every second post at least!
May I just interject here that not all of Canada is cold and does not have bugs - or even snowfall in the winter, alas. We Wet Coasters are far warmer in winter than most of the top third of the US, but you don't want to move here anyway - we also get the most rain.
Rice - Amos has it right. I learned how to cook it in Ozzz. One cup white rice in 2 cups cold water in glass bowl in microwave, no lid, about 14 minutes. Works perfectly every time and no messy pots to clean. For brown 10 mins on high, 25 on 50% power. I almost always add onion, garlic, chives and saffron.
Which leads me to: Going back some, forget the 6'4" guy, I want Andre the chef. On second thought, no, I had me one of those and dinners were fabulous, the alcohol the chef drank along with it not so much...
Kat: my friend, who really works at having a green thumb, once bought a package of two of those tea plants and gave one to me. Took forever to root but once growing was a breeze - for me. Hers never did take. 10 and 20 years on she still growled every time she saw mine, which had survived several moves, at least a couple of them in a truck with no protection from wind or cold. When I made my move here I gave it to her (she lived a couple hours away by then). I notice it does not reside there any more but have never mentioned it - I really like this buddy, :). I don't particularly have a green thumb but I do very well with plants. Like my kids I bring them up with a little healthy neglect. The trick is to always err on the side of too little when watering plants.
Those tea plants are amazingly hardy. Of course since it was a fad you never see them any more. I neglect my plants, too. My aloe lives without water most of the month.
The only reason my dogs get pampered is the fact they communicate their needs to me. The Alpha female lets me know when they need water, or to go outside. Trouble is forever banging the food dishes to let me know he's hungry. JR has learned how to tell me that his back hurts and he needs his medication.
Not that I'm a pet psychic, mind you, this is all repetition and body language.
I once had a pitbull/snauzer who trained my parents in 2 weeks. They fed him, gave him milk, took him for walks on a schedule that HE set.
Funniest thing I've ever seen.
Kat wrote: I once had a pitbull/snauzer who trained my parents in 2 weeks. They fed him, gave him milk, took him for walks on a schedule that HE set.Funniest thing I've ever seen.
I have a lovely golden retriever who I chose because she was the smallest in the litter (I know, that's not a good thing). She is so laid back that we sometimes forget to feed her because if we don't respond to the big brown eyes watching us, she falls asleep again. We lost her once - scoured the whole farm looking for her, shouting her name like madmen. Just as we thought she must have been picked up by a passing car, we heard a piece of wood fall down in the woodshed. My husband had accidentally locked her in (two hours before) and she'd stayed quiet through all the shouting. Her name is Annie, but we tend to call her Dopey.
In my experience of dog breeding over the decades, the smallest in the litter as a puppy means nothing in the long run and the dog in question can turn out to be the largest as an adult. They are invariably normal for the breed at the very least. I do hate it when you spend hours looking for dogs only to find they are asleep on your bed ignoring you...
Sometimes saying 'Wants a cookie?' will bring the dogs faster than calling names. My dogs always act like they are starving.
Mod
I need a cat. One that leaves plants alone, doesn't know how to jump on the kitchen counter, and doesn't shed. Maybe that's called a dead cat...
A hairless cat? A stuffed cat?I'd rather have the dogs. It's not easy to teach a cat to bark at strangers.
I used to have a Siamese cat that didn't like men to sit beside me on the couch. She'd walk on their shoulders and bite their ears. That's as much of a home security system you can get out of those critters.A hairless cat offends my sense of what a cat should be, but a stuffed cat will do if it can purr and slink room to room with exceptional grace.
From time to time I consider getting a dog, but it's their bathroom habits that hold me back. Can't stand the thought of having to take them out on their schedule, not mine. Cats have dogs beat in that regard.
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Bad boy.I owned that book once upon a time.
I once owned the meanest Siamese in the state.Her only claim to fame was she raised a chihuahua puppy with her kittens.
Books mentioned in this topic
101 Uses for a Dead Cat (other topics)Treespeaker (other topics)
Colour: For Professional Communicators (other topics)
Once, when I was dating guy who was both a musician and an actor, a pal said, "You can date a musician or an actor, but never someone who's both. He'll break your heart." She was right.
Sjm, how long does a cleanse go on? Doesn't sound like fun.