Books on the Nightstand discussion

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Jenny (Reading Envy) (readingenvy) | 200 comments Jan wrote: "I have a little problem and wonder if you've talked about this or might like to. I'll bet it's a common occurrence, but this feels new to me. A friend--not a close one, but a long-term one, has JUS..."
I wonder if you could help her find a local book club where she might find more kindred spirit.
If she is new to reading she may not know they exist. I'd check public libraries first!


message 1302: by Jan (new)

Jan Thank you, Jenny! Great suggestion. She does need friends. She and her husband retired and moved to the desert. I know she's found it hard to break in to a friend group out there. This could be the ticket!


Jenny (Reading Envy) (readingenvy) | 200 comments Jan wrote: "Thank you, Jenny! Great suggestion. She does need friends. She and her husband retired and moved to the desert. I know she's found it hard to break in to a friend group out there. This could be the..."
Sorry, hahaa, just realized this was in the thread for Ann and Michael to discuss. My two cents just happened anyway!


message 1304: by Jan (new)

Jan I loved your two cents anyway!!


message 1305: by Mindy (new)

Mindy Jones (mindyrecycles) Jan, you might want to email Michael and Ann. I know they read this thread occasionally but I bet they'd see an email much sooner.


message 1306: by Jan (new)

Jan Mindy wrote: "Jan, you might want to email Michael and Ann. I know they read this thread occasionally but I bet they'd see an email much sooner."

Thanks Mindy! I will do so.


message 1307: by Janet (new)

Janet (justjanet) | 791 comments At the risk of being another person answering questions not directed to me, I can tell you how I handle such things. I thank them but then tell them that I've read for so many years that most of what I like to read now might be called "experimental" fiction, kind of like how film critics never like the really popular movies. It's not 100% true but it's true enough for this purpose.

And btw, I love the idea of getting her involved in a book club.


message 1308: by Jan (new)

Jan Janet wrote: "At the risk of being another person answering questions not directed to me, I can tell you how I handle such things. I thank them but then tell them that I've read for so many years that most of wh..."

Excellent response! I will have that ready next time this happens to me, which it MIGHT. This one came so completely out of the blue--and I was so surprised to know she'd read some books!--that I waxed enthusiastic beyond merit! ;-) Thank you for answering a question that I truly put out to the universe! You were not out of line to reply. Jan


message 1309: by Jan (new)

Jan So glad I asked this question! Suggestions here and those on the podcast published today (April 5) are all so helpful. My husband, too, had a suggestion: "Just tell her the books were a hoot!" And truly, "hoot" is a good word. I went one step further and told her there was one character I'd say I was more like than the others, which gives me a chance to focus the conversation if it ever happens. She seemed happy with the word "hoot!" so maybe I'm off the hook, but GREAT suggestions from all of you, and I feel totally better equipped for the future. I am so pleased everyone seems to understand that there's no way I wanted to dampen my friend's enthusiasm for reading! :-) Thanks, all!


message 1310: by Amy (new)

Amy (aaamyosaurus) Jan wrote: "So glad I asked this question! Suggestions here and those on the podcast published today (April 5) are all so helpful. My husband, too, had a suggestion: "Just tell her the books were a hoot!" And ..."

Being another one to chip in - I'd be totally honest and say they weren't your cup of tea, typically the kind of books you read are x, y and/or z, but thanks for the recommendation. You could still discuss the books with her anyway, I know my husband and I quite often discuss books only one of us has read because it's just interesting to hear another person's take on a book, what they found interesting, what worked for them etc. I'd also go to her with 'I looked up and these books came up as being recommended for being in a similar vein' so it's clear that you care about her choices, but they're just not for you, the same as perhaps your choices of books wouldn't appeal to her.


message 1311: by Jan (last edited Apr 09, 2016 03:38PM) (new)

Jan Yes--I agree, Amy, and I know I got out of it by saying "They're a hoot" when she questioned me by email how I was doing with them. She's not a "discusser," so that was kind of a weaselly way out, but a few days later I'm feeling less than proud about it--especially now that I discovered that she sent two more books by the same author (in the original box) that are not part of the series but that are equally NOT my cup of tea. My goal is to send these back with a thank you and tell her this was me taking a walk on the lighter side, but my usual fare is much different and while it was good for me to have a chance to sample this kind of book, I'll stick to my own choices in the future. That's a little more honoring, I think, of her capacity for the truth. I am absolutely certain that if I'd handed her something dark and metaphorical and political and historically significant--say like Arthur Koestler's Darkness at Noon--she would have been honest with me and handed it back saying it's not her cup of tea. So--you see, I've given myself a talking to! And I do appreciate everyone's efforts to help me be honest! I clearly need that kind of help.


message 1312: by Linda (new)

Linda | 3097 comments Mod
Jan wrote: "Yes--I agree, Amy, and I know I got out of it by saying "They're a hoot" when she questioned me by email how I was doing with them. She's not a "discusser," so that was kind of a weaselly way out, ..."

Good going, Jan.


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