Q&A with Kari Gregg discussion
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Kari
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Sep 20, 2011 04:51AM
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Kari wrote: "For all us newbies (and not so new?) to share our head-scratching, eyeball-popping WTFery. Got a writing question? A blip of weirdness you can't quite puzzle out? Join the club, compadres! Maybe be..."I love this thread already! :D
LOL, I love the title you gave this thread, it's fantastic!
Okay, I got some ... why is it that we can never control our muse? At least I can't. Case in point, 2 years ago, I wrote a demon/human short story and was rejected. (It deserves to be rejected, head-hopping and cliches being the major problems.). However, my friends told me the story has great potential and the characters are likable. So I tried to rewrite it and expand it into a novel... anddd.. get stuck. Now there's a bunny pops into my head uninvited about a human & angel and demands to be written. This is not the first time it happens. sigh... Maybe I need a Dom to "train" my muse to submit...
Cleon, I think it's called "being a writer". Where would you be without that muse? Taylor will attest, I have the worst muse ever. Give her an inch, and she takes a mile! It's hard to control her, whip her and stuff her back into her crate just to force myself to work on the current WIP and not the one I need months from now.
Jordan wrote: "Cleon, I think it's called "being a writer". Where would you be without that muse? Taylor will attest, I have the worst muse ever. Give her an inch, and she takes a mile! It's hard to control her, ..."In other words, we need obedience training for our muses. lol.
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Kari wrote: "Nah, roll with it, I say. As long as I'm not actively working more than 3 stories at the same time, I figure I'm good to go. ;D"3 stories at once.... *faints*
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I have a problematic attention span. Meaning I barely have one. LOL. I tend to work obsessively on a story for about 3wks. Then...I get bored. Twitchy. So I swap that story out with another one and work on that story for three weeks.
I wrote the lion's share of Spoils, Lovely Wicked and In the Red like that. Except I screwed up ITR and had to gut it. (Not fun.)
Takes longer to get books finished, but it really is a fabulous way to work if you're impaired-by-the-shiny. And you don't mind working your ass off when all those books start finishing in roughly the same time frame, that is.
lol, I have to work on one at a time, two max. It bugs me to switch back and forth between works because I get so into a story. It's better for me to be writing one, and plotting a second one. Kari, there's no way I could work on three at a time! lol.
I've got six going right now and it's driving me crazy. But luckily two are in almost published final editing, which is more technical picky stuff. Still, it's hard sometimes to get back into the right characters' heads. I didn't plan it like this, because I try to write one at a time, but acceptances come when they come, and then sequels are in the works and it gets confusing. I find it helps to read someone else's stuff entirely in between, when I'm switching from one story to the other.
"impaired-by-the-shiny"OH I love that :)
Thats what I will tell people when they ask why I have 3 pieces of beadwork all going at the same time. I am Impaired-by-the-shiney.
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We should have Impaired by the Shiny magnets for our cars. (I also need one that reads: #cardio #seatbelts #doubletap)
>:D
Okay, I know we've discussed this before, but let's revisit it.My cousin just emailed me to ask me where he can get my book, and can he get it for his nook?
O_O
I'm pretty sure my cousin is straight (and so's his wife), and I don't want him to read anything I wrote anyway. The husband thinks I should tell him I'm not ready to share my work with the family and I'm writing under a pen name.
Shit.
Anne wrote: "Okay, I know we've discussed this before, but let's revisit it.My cousin just emailed me to ask me where he can get my book, and can he get it for his nook?
O_O
I'm pretty sure my cousin is str..."
I'm thinking of writing a "dummy" book so when people want to see what I write, my parents included, I just point them to that dummy book. LOL.
That's a good idea, but how do I get it published?I guess I could self-publish it. Then they'd all think I was a nut job, too. Making a big deal (which I didn't BTW) about being published when I did it myself. I'd have to make it an awful book, too. That might be a good idea. If I had the time to do it.
Anne wrote: "Okay, I know we've discussed this before, but let's revisit it.My cousin just emailed me to ask me where he can get my book, and can he get it for his nook?
O_O
I'm pretty sure my cousin is str..."
I basically told my brothers I write romance that has full-blown sex in it and I'm not comfortable with them reading it and knowing their sister wrote it. They were okay with that (They're pretty understanding so they said it was up to me, fortunately. Because these are my brothers and frankly a M/F sex scene would be even worse.)
Anne wrote: "That's a good idea, but how do I get it published?I guess I could self-publish it. Then they'd all think I was a nut job, too. Making a big deal (which I didn't BTW) about being published when I ..."
Just put it on Amazon and sell it for 99c. Amazon makes it so easy to self publish your work. Who knows? Maybe it'll be a bestseller. LOL.
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Honestly, though, I don't know what to tell you. I get pressured all the time about it. On the one hand, I need to talk about my work (writing) because when I don't, people don't respect what I do. They treat it as a hobby, if they remember that I have another job to do at all. The more I talk about work, the LESS people call me up expecting me to do x, y and z. Or when I say no, I can't, I need to work, they leave it alone. OTOH...Not a wk goes by without someone yelling about wanting a title or my pen name.
I mention new contracts, deadlines, if I'm drowning in work because I have a promo thing to do...Otherwise, I shut up. I never mention anything else. I give them just enough so they know I am working and that I am legitimately busy with a credible second job. If anybody gets particularly pushy about it, I throw some numbers at them. I prefer to think of it as selective reporting instead of outright dishonesty, lol, but I downplay it. Just a matter of striking a balance of good but not too good. Then, they generally back off.
I've been wondering what to do about this myself, because my extended family (aunts and uncles mostly) are interested in what I write. I can be frank with my parents and tell them they wouldn't read it, and they don't question it. But with other people I don't see very often, it's not so easy. Sure, I could probably get by (at least with the uncles) by telling them it's romance, but the thing is, I'm not the "type" to write romance, that they know of. I think I'd shock the pants off them. I suppose writing a dummy book could work. Not that I especially like the idea because it means more work, and then you'd have to keep writing dummy books because how can you have a writing career ten years from now with only one published book?
Or, I could just hand them my biz card and let them check out my website and the single short that got posted online. That should be enough to dissuade them from further interest. Maybe.
But Kari, you do bring up a valid point that if you have nothing to show for your work people will think all you have is a hobby.
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When people ask about what I write, I tell them romance and if they push more, I tell them I write paranormal. If they push more, I tell them I'm not comfortable with people I know IRL reading my love scenes and that it would be embarrassing. If they push beyond that, I trot out some numbers to downplay my success at it while at the same time showing that it is an actual job. (For example, I might say that I earn as much as a writer as I do at my day job -- when my day job pay is so low it's a joke. But it gets the point across. If people consider my day job a "real" job, which they do, then they should consider my writing a "real" job too.)
It's really just a matter of drawing a line in the sand and sticking to it no matter what.
My main focus with how to deal with this IRL is...what can I do to make my life easier? Which basically boils down to sharing this part of my life in RL as little as possible. I talk about the nuts & bolts of work -- deadlines, contracts signed -- but only to tip people off that I am working. I don't talk about good or bad reviews. I don't talk about being on bestseller lists. I go to work on release days just like I normally would. They see the work. They never see the results of that work. While I still get asked questions, sometimes persistent questions, I've found that not revealing newsy bits that would likely intrigue friends & family is the best way to go. At least for me.
That sounds like one of the best ways to go about it, really. I was thinking, if I did a dummy book, I'd just take something I've already written and determined crap (that has no M/M in it) and use that. But even that's too much energy, and it's still crap. And you're right, it's not telling the truth. I do want people think I CAN write and write well. If they see that I write and selfpublish crap, that makes my writing look even more like a hobby than it really is. lol, one of my male coworkers was interested in what I wrote for fanfic once. I asked if he was absolutely sure, I mean, positively sure without a doubt. So I gave him the link, and he didn't get very far. I just laugh every time he brings it up. It freaked him out (because it was M/M) and he says he can't watch the show anymore. Not that it was one of his favs to start with, thankfully. I would hate to turn someone off from a show. But with him, it's not the same as family knowing and reading what I write. And I got a good laugh out of it which amused him to no end.
Not even my best friend reads what I write anymore, but if I were to have a great release, I'd tell her about it and we'd go celebrate, because that's just what we'd do, as BF's since preschool. We used to write together when we were younger. And it looks as if I'm closer to being published than she is! Ah well.
I'm rambling. Need to stop. Need to go make a poster for the Sorry! game tournament I decided to have at work this afternoon.
If my extended family asks, I'll just say I write internet content. Which is true because that's what I've been doing for years. My mom and dad don't speak English so I just tell them I write romance in English and they never ask.
Dammit. I wish my family didn't speak English.The thing is, my instinct is to nip this in the bud. I write erotica, I'm not going to share it with you, go away. Except I'll be nice about it. I just have to decide if I want the whole family to know that, because that's what's about to happen. I can't tell this cousin without him telling his mother, and once she knows... etc.
Okay, this is dumb, but I just realized what I'm worried about. I'm worried about one of my aunts in particular (and it isn't the nun, BTW), and the fun she's going to have with whatever I do. She and I don't get along, and she's one of those loud people that has to denigrate other people.
So fuck her. I'm answering the email now. I write erotica, I don't want you to read it, go away.
Anne wrote: "Dammit. I wish my family didn't speak English.The thing is, my instinct is to nip this in the bud. I write erotica, I'm not going to share it with you, go away. Except I'll be nice about it. I ju..."
Good for you! :)
I have to add that my non-confrontational method is partly caused by my upbringing, and well, culture. People told me I'm way too blunt and undiplomatic as it is.
Cleon, if I could deal with it the way you do, I would.Okay, so I wrote back to him, told him I write romantic erotica (might have left a little detail out there), and I wasn't ready for the males of the family to read my sex scenes. And I probably won't ever be. I thanked him, I apologized for being cruel, and I asked him if he'll ever be able to forgive me.
Then I signed it with my pen name. Which I fortunately noticed before I hit send thank GOD.
Anne wrote: "Cleon, if I could deal with it the way you do, I would.Okay, so I wrote back to him, told him I write romantic erotica (might have left a little detail out there), and I wasn't ready for the male..."
OMG! so glad you caught in the last minute!
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I'm not ashamed of what I do. Or embarrassed. I'm just not willing to lose my job over it.
Btw, it's not the m/m that I think people would trip over IRL, although (barring initial surprise, given that I'm a het woman) I'm sure there are a few here & there who might take issue with it, but...there's an asshole in every crowd, aye? I honestly don't worry about the m/m, though. No, my deal breaker is the graphic eroticism & kink. THAT would get me fired (m/f or m/m) and make dh's job difficult.
So it's not that m/m I have concerns about. It's the kinky fuckfest component. LOL
Definitely. If I were just writing gay romance where all the sex is fade-to-black, I'd tell the whole freaking family and not care.
Anne wrote: "Definitely. If I were just writing gay romance where all the sex is fade-to-black, I'd tell the whole freaking family and not care."Same with me. It's the sex. The fact that it's gay sex is just like topping on ice cream.
I need to keep my option to work as a counselor open, in case I need it in the future. So no coming out for me until... until I'm filthy rich. lol.
Yeah, that's exactly what it is: the gay sex... especially the kinky gay sex, when I get to writing D/s. I can't imagine my family reading that. lol, they'd faint for sure. That, and the fact that I like to torture my characters and put them through hell, would disturb them. The one time I let my mother read something of mine when I was in middle school she felt the need to ask if there was anything I needed to tell her. lol, I never let her read anything of mine again. I love dark stories and kinky sex, end of story.
LOL, that would actually make a great t-shirt: "I love dark stories and kinky sex scenes, end of story." or something like that anyway.
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Embrace Your Perv
Short. Sweet. To the point.
As soon as all my fall/winter books are out & I'm doing a collage of all 3 covers with the "Embrace Your Perv ~ KariGregg.com" logline. Going to make a fabulous mug. Maybe do some magnets.
Actually re magnets, I should seriously consider ordering a few of the badges for my blood feud with Rachel Haimowitz. Just a bit of kitschy fun. And for the #GenAlteredCorn pelting in November. That'd be freaking awesome. And so chuckle-worthy.
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Come Nov, we're going to have some fun with #GenAlteredCorn
;D
Oh, you told me that before. It's hard to keep everyone's plot in my head alongside my own... Sigh.All right tell me what to tweet at the time and I'll tweet it.
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