Introduction

[Daphne, Prima Aphrodite]

lizzy a long name! I like Izzy! Hey where is Izzy?

[Jessica]

lol for real she has been MIA on this topic lately! Hey guys if you are on inkpop take a look at a little smidgen of something (2 whole pages haha) I posted and lemme know what you think. Are you on there Mari? You have read the pitch I know, but I finally wrote and triedddd to perfect a couple page on there.

[Daphne, Prima Aphrodite]

I'm gonna critique it 2morrow

[Daphne, Prima Aphrodite]

dont wry! ;D

[Jessica]

thanks :) dang you are right about having to go thru and reply to comments on there - when people see you are online they send like a bazzzzzzzzzzzzilion requests to swap! I got a million bajillion requests today lol. But nah I figured you would, I posted on here as well for Mari and Tess if they wanted to and whoever reads this.

[Daphne, Prima Aphrodite]

and plus, you have to be really polite about it too! i asked people to read my project, and told them that id even swap if i had to! and all of them want to swap and get me to critique their work! i mean i have my own work to do too! there's this really annoying user, WhitePain
http://www.inkpop.com/users/whitepain

who's AFTER me to read her novel and CRITIQUE it in one day! damn it i dont have the time!

[Jessica]

I've seen some people who have just short stuff to swap - they say okay if you read my poem or if you read my short story I will read the first 1 or 2 chapters of you novel. Maybe try that cause really if you think about it with what you have posted, it is not exactly a fair swap for them to ask you to read an ENTIRE novel.

[Daphne, Prima Aphrodite]

and then you know the the critique you wrote for me? not everything was in my favor, there were a lot of mistakes, and a lot of things u didnt like, but u were polite and, most of all, you gave CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM!
http://www.inkpop.com//users/julietst...

Juliet steele here wrote a one-liner about my work being boring and dull, and there was no character building and i was writing it like it was a biography(which it IS!) and to top it all off, she wasn't poilet and didnt say anything that would help me, like WHAT she found confusing! AARGH!

This is what she wrote:
"I admire you for writing a true to life story, but to be a good story, you need to think about telling it like a story. Right now it's reading like a biography. We need more character building, more emotion, more continuity. Make it make sense to us. If you don't want to embellish, then at least take longer to show us what you mean by certain things. Explain thinks more. This was confusing and, honestly, not terribly entertaining."

[Mariana]

Daphne wrote: "Mariana wrote: "Daphne wrote: ";D im lucky 2 be one of those ppl who has a NON-EMBARASSING nickname! whats urs?"

In school people used to call me Pocahontas because i have a long black hair and i'..."

no,i'm really tan! some people say that i look like Vanessa Hudgens LOL

yeah i love elmo! I LOVE cookies, my mom say that i have a blessing cuz i don't get fat ahah

It's like this: Ma-ria Bolasha

[Mariana]

Tess wrote: "Daphne wrote: "Tess wrote: "Mariana wrote: "Aww , that's cute :)"

AWW it is cute!"

thanks tess! whats urs??? usually, i would think up a nickname for you that shortens ur name, but ur name is lik..."

Izzy sounds really cute :D

Yeah, Spanish people are our neighbors haha
The language is very similar ;) French language have some words that are Portuguese.
In here,it always sunny even if the temperature is low :D

[Mariana]

Jessica wrote: "lol for real she has been MIA on this topic lately! Hey guys if you are on inkpop take a look at a little smidgen of something (2 whole pages haha) I posted and lemme know what you think. Are you o..."

Jess i recently created an inkpop account :D
I'll add you there :)

[Jessica]

Daphne wrote: "and then you know the the critique you wrote for me? not everything was in my favor, there were a lot of mistakes, and a lot of things u didnt like, but u were polite and, most of all, you gave CON..."

See I don't get people like that. They say really vague things that you could get from reading a book about writing. It is different when you apply it to your own work. That's the whole point of inkpop, right? So people can help you and tell you how it was EXECUTED and how you can improve your execution of it. Anyone can say build your characters and use emotion. With the length you have now, obviously some of that is still to come. You can't build a character in one sentence. If she had not put in the specificities about writing your life story at the beginning, I would say that could easily be cut and pasted onto almost ANY writing on there. I also think a lot of times people forget to write what was GOOD and just focus and what they did not like. I think without that it is not a whole critique. I try to write reviews the way I would want someone to write one for me. I mean what if there was a line a lot of people loved but you didn't realize how special it was somehow? And then you may take it out in editing.

[Jessica]

Mariana wrote: "Jessica wrote: "lol for real she has been MIA on this topic lately! Hey guys if you are on inkpop take a look at a little smidgen of something (2 whole pages haha) I posted and lemme know what you ..."

Thanks Mari :)

[Mariana]

Jessica wrote: "Mariana wrote: "Jessica wrote: "lol for real she has been MIA on this topic lately! Hey guys if you are on inkpop take a look at a little smidgen of something (2 whole pages haha) I posted and lemm..."

what's your name on inkpop?

[Jessica]

JP_Higgins

[Mariana]

I added you :D

[Tess]

Daphne wrote: "lizzy a long name! I like Izzy! Hey where is Izzy?"

Wow i had a lot to read on here haha!

Sorry guys i screamed and it scared my dog and he attacked my arm so i haven't really been wanting to type lately my arm has been sore.

[Tess]

oh and Jessica i'll definitely read it tomorrow once my mom gets home from work! :D

[Jessica]

aww poor Tess :( That little rat terrier you have a pic of on your profile would do that? I'm guessing that's what he is - my husband used to have one that looked a LOT like him. And thanks in advance for reading my first couple pages.

[Tess]

OH no no champ is the sweetest thing ever he would never do that, my other dog did it he's champs son (literally) i'll post a picture of him i don't really blame him he's a nervous dog but now my mom insist on giving him to a new home she doesn't trust him anymore. champ is a toy fox terrier :)

[Jessica]

ish verwy verwy qwiet in hearw. what r u guys reading this week?

[Mariana]

i'm reading a richelle mead book , .
and u girls?

[Daphne, Prima Aphrodite]

Mariana wrote: "Jessica wrote: "lol for real she has been MIA on this topic lately! Hey guys if you are on inkpop take a look at a little smidgen of something (2 whole pages haha) I posted and lemme know what you ..."

What's ur username?

[Daphne, Prima Aphrodite]

I'm reading....nothing really! I actually am not reading any BOOKS that I can add on goodreads, I'm reading stuff on watt pad.com...but...I'm gonna start reading

[Mariana]

Daphne wrote: "Mariana wrote: "Jessica wrote: "lol for real she has been MIA on this topic lately! Hey guys if you are on inkpop take a look at a little smidgen of something (2 whole pages haha) I posted and lemm..."

my username :mmrsofagirl

[Jessica]

I just got today, so I put down everything to read it lol. it took forever to get here. I just read the first chapter and so far it has great VOICE, which is what I love in a novel.

I read just the first two chapters in Stephen and Sharpies on inkpop and I'll read some more of it this week too.

Anddddd just picked up from the library today so I have to start it asap! I was on a waiting list to get it and it just got back :)

too many i'm excited to read in one week! but burnout is pretty short so i may get to all of them.

oh yea and my hubby and I are reading Daughter of Smoke & Bone together so I'll be reading that over a few weeks.

[Mariana]

I really wanna read daughter of smoke and bone!
how is it so far? :)

[Jessica]

I think we're gonna end up starting it Monday, I'll let you know :)

Hey guys, I made this listopia. YA 1st Person Present Tense
Would you mind voting on it if you can think of any new books to add to it? I couldn't find any existing listopias that already covered it and I REALLY want to study more books written this way for my writing. And you guys have read WAY more books than me lately, so I was hoping you would know some more titles to add.

[Mariana]

thank u Jess :D
sure, u can count on me(bout the vote on your listopia ):D

[Jessica]

Thank you ;)

[Daphne, Prima Aphrodite]

I'll get to it as soon as I can, right now I have my exams...OH THE HORROR!;D

[Mariana]

I'm in the same situation Daphne ,I have my exams right now :S
I don't have time to read :(

[Jessica]

That's alright guys... I know how it is, I feel your pain! Up until last year I had college exams, cause I kept switching majors it took me foreverrrr.

[Tess]

i voted! :)

[wolf spirit]

Well unfortunatley I have exam the following monday after thanksgiving...and right after that week I have finals. I am not reading any book =( such sadness. That is also why I have not participated in this discussion much.

[Tess]

i'm reading

[Mariana]

is it good? :D

[Jessica]

Thanks for voting guys :)

wolf spirit - college, right? they always wanna lay exams on you AFTER breaks to 'give you time to study' when who in the heck has time to study if they actually visit family? I'd say half of my professors did that.

mariana - so far I read the first 3 chapters in and it is intriguing, but I'm not quite sure if it is my cup of tea. It may be a little TOO fantastical for my taste. Too many things too far from reality for me to go along with. But that is just my personal taste so far. I'll tell you this though - it's definitely something different. It does seem to be well written. I'm going to read a few more chapters and see if I get more into it. I suppose I just haven't connected to the character yet.

[Daphne, Prima Aphrodite]

GAH, I HATE EXAMS!

[Tess]

i just finished

it was amazing!

[Mariana]

Jess- i love paranormal stories so i think i'm gonna love this book and i love reading about different realities its like taking a vacation from real life :D

Tess- I took a break from Morganville vampires , i stop reading at number 7 but i think i'm gonna start again :D

[Daphne, Prima Aphrodite]

Haha, Jess, Tess! ;D

[Mariana]

hey Daphne, how was your exams ?

[Daphne, Prima Aphrodite]

My exams r gonna start on December 8! And they'll finish on the 15th, a whole week! Do you know I have 15 chapters in history ALONE?!:/

[Mariana]

Geez, My exams start on December 5 :D I'm on my senior year , i can't believe that next year i'm going to uni lol

[Daphne, Prima Aphrodite]

I'm a frickin sophomore! DAMN! SCHOOL SUX!!!!

[Daphne, Prima Aphrodite]

XD

[Mariana]

Amen Sister ! haha

[Daphne, Prima Aphrodite]

=D btw have u watched breaking dawn, and heard Christina perri's new song A Thousand Years, it's AH-MAZING!!!!!!!!!!

[Jessica]

I loooooooooove that song! Did you see the video? It fits with the series so perfectly!

I liked Breaking Dawn, except the ending, like the last 20 minutes, kind of ruined it for me. It just looked so fake! (view spoiler)[ especially where she stands up and her bones break (hide spoiler)] And cheesy horror movie music lol. I loved the very very last image before it cuts to the credits (view spoiler)[where you see her eyes open with the red color. (hide spoiler)] But anyway other than those last few minutes, I actually liked it. I think my favorite scenes will be in part 2 though!