Action/Adventure Aficionados discussion
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Matthew Reilly
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Nancy
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Sep 23, 2011 10:44AM
I do alot of the free books and the 99cent books for the kindle. I have gotten some really good books by authors I had never heard of before and wouldn't have picked the book if it hadn't been free.
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I comb the cheap and free books regularly. I've found plenty I liked doing that. Their not all new and self-pubs, some are old books that are out of print.
I got the Donovan Creed books for 99 cents each that way. The first Jack Daniels book was only 2.99
I've picked up a host of cops and robber books off the free stack too.
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I have to give some back story first. At the time, I was dating this woman, whom I will call Sarah *not her real name*. It's important that you know that her brain sometimes worked differently than most others. She was always quick to decide upon the illogical rather than the rational. In times of emergency, like in this story, she would react to whatever her brain told her was happening.
She also always made me pull over if we saw an animal, wild or domestic, on the road so that we could chase it back into the woods so it wouldn't get hit.
This always annoyed the hell out of me, but I did anyway. LOL
At the time, I was driving a 1978 Dodge Aspen, and one night, we were cruising through the main street of my hometown where we saw a pair of beavers crossing the road. My hometown is small, with a population of maybe 10,000, but that main street is busy, each side with two lanes. It wasn't always so busy at night, and that night it was dead, but Sarah made me pull over anyway.
So I pulled over, and then we were both standing on the shoulder of the road, stomping our feet and yelling at the beavers to "Shoo!"
The beavers stopped. They tilted their heads towards us at the same time.
It was then I realized that we had made a mistake.
The beavers turned around and stormed at us. "It's Giant rats!" Sarah yelled, and ran for the car.
I was frustrated at this point. I said, "It's not fucking rats!" I turned and saw that Sarah had fallen down face-first in someone's yard trying to get back to the car. She was so afraid, her feet were kicking at the curb in her failed attempts to get back up to her feet.
The beavers were getting closer. I didn't know what they'd do if they caught up to us, so I grabbed Sarah by the back of her jacket and yanked her to her feet. I then escorted her as quickly as I could to the passenger door and stuffed her inside. I then went back the way I came, towards the rear of the car. I'm not sure why I went that way. I think it was because I wanted to see where the beavers were and didn't want to be surprised if I went that way.
When I reached the back of the car, the beavers were only a few feet away. They were making these weird chittering sounds, and I had to scoot across the trunk of my car, my feet in the air, to avoid them. I then ran to my side of the car and got in and sped away.
LOL
It all lasted maybe ten seconds, but for a moment there, it was as though I was in a movie. If only they truly were giant, mutant rats.
At the time, I wasn't sure why Sarah called them giant rats, but afterwards, after we had a good chuckle over the event, she said it was when they turned around that made her think of rats. I reflected on it. Sideways their silhouettes, especially their rodent-like body and long tail do indeed look like giant rats.
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That's funny. It's like a "Fox" show..."When Beavers Attack!"
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First, let me give you a little history about Hugh and Snakes. I have what is commonly known as a “Phobia” of snakes. My mother swears that one of the first complete sentences I ever said was” Now the Snakes can’t get it.”
There was never any sense to it. Nobody could remember any time where a snake could have traumatized me, or that I’d maybe seen one on TV (since we didn’t have a Tv until after 1970). Yet, sure enough, when my mother put something on the mantle or on a shelf there would be little baby Hugh saying, “now the snakes can’t get it” (at 2 years old).
As I grew up, I had trouble sitting still seeing snakes on Tv. When I open a book or turned a page and there was a picture of a snake, I jumped and had to turn the page real quickly. So… you get the idea. Snakes are dangerous. Snakes make you run into trees. (“Look out Snake.” … “RUN”… “Look out, Tree!” BANG!)
I even managed to overcome my phobia and hunt snakes with a friend, as a kid. I held them in my hands, touched them and ew… freaky things. Then as time passed, I’d just go back to jumping through the roof when I was surprised by one. Snakes win all surprise encounters with me.
So life goes on and I join the Navy. See, if I’m where the snakes are in the Navy, then it means things have gone really bad. You aren’t supposed to deal with Sea Snakes on board ships. Under ships yes, in them with you…not so much.
When my wife and I came to Maryland, we lived in a nice house near a wooded area on one side and subdivision all around the other three. We had a sweet dopey Basset Hound named Mary Elenor, Ellie for short, and a cat named Sasha.
One night, the great terror decided to make his way into our humble abode. He was a giant thing, all of the diameter of a number 2 pencil, puffed up, and not quite a foot and a half long. Nice oval shaped head and a very laid back disposition. He could have been a 30ft anaconda as far as my wife is concerned. This fella packed his bags and came right in the front door then back where we were to see what was on Television. “Crankie, those foolish Human’s are in their doing their nightly television ritual. We’ll show em ‘ow we do things in the outback and join them.” I can respect a fellah with balls.
So there we were, watching Survivor, of all things, eating popcorn and throwing things at the Tv Set. The basset hound sacked out asleep in her basket bed, my wife on the love seat and me in the recliner with the snake coming right down the middle of the floor. The cat sat at the edge of the kitchen just watching it with those lazy half-sleepy cat eyes and purring. You just know she was thinking “Heh, this is going to be great!”
My wife looks back, then looks at me and asks in a very calm voice, “Is that what I think it is?”
I looked back, then nodded to my wife and said, “yep, it’s a snake.”
I think the cat snickered.
You’d have thought they set her seat cushion on fire. I of course was a calm and reassuring presence until she said. “Get something, catch it!”
"no (effing) way!" After some flailing of arms and a bite, from my wife, I was convinced to give capture a try. The snake, not my wife.
So there we were, my wife and I, jumping around the living room like the Marx Brothers on crack with a bad case of active Tourettes Syndrome." Eeek aaah… stop it why'd you do that... eeeek. can you be quiet...ahhh."
She was standing on the couch, screaming every time the snake moved, and I was doing the hot foot around the snake with a Tupperware container hoping to scoop the fellow inside. The snake would move, my wife would sceam, I’d jump the snake would move again, and the cat watched with one of those cat snickers on her face.
Ellie, the Basset Hound, still slept in her dog bed.
Finally, I got close enough to scoop the snake up in the lid. The snake of course reached out to get away, (you guessed it) wife screamed and Hugh Jumped. The snake did a one and a half gainer with a twist landed on the couch and disappeared at one of the corners going inside. My wife landed on me. The cat lay down with a smug cat look. The dog, snored louder.
Of course my wife insisted that we take our brand new couch out to the street because she wasn’t staying in the same house with it. I was like, “but honey, it’s a brand new couch… we can’t...”
I lifted the cushions off of it, cut the backing off of the bottom of the couch and everything but no snake. He was somewhere in the house. By now it’s midnight. The cat hadn’t moved, and the dog rolled over at least once and my wife freaked out once more b(but it was only the cable for the TV. I was able to replace that.)
You just know my neighbor was looking through his window, hearing all the screams and grunts and furniture moving going. "Wow… wild time over at Hugh’s house huh…" dirty grin.
His wife probably looked at him and said something like “you should find out what he's eating to get all that energy.”
I don’t know what really happened, or what was really said, but both my neighbors came by to give me a strong hand shake and the “good job” wink. We had two requests for that, Vegetable lasagna recipe we were eating the other night.
Anyway…
I convince my wife that snakes can’t climb stairs…heh, city girls… heh-heh-heh... snakes can't climb stairs... that's rich. I checked for the snake one more time, and we go to bed. No comment on how much valium that took. I checked in the morning, no snake. My wife again wanted the couch outside because her soaps were on and she coldn’t watch them. I win again. “If he hasn’t come out yet, he is probably already outside.” (like I said, city girls are easy.)
My wife then gets a chair, puts it in the center of the room and watches her soaps, and the dog wakes up, goes outside then comes back and goes to sleep. The cat comes back again to watch. I was safe at work.
I get a call in the afternoon … one of those, Honey, come home now…PLEASE!” barked like the drill sergeant from Full Metal Jacket. The snake had come out. My wife put a box on top of him, then put a stack of books on the box then another stack of books on top of that.
I asked my wife to get my work gloves under the stairs, and while she was gone (things were much easier that way) I slid a cookie sheet under the open box trapping snake inside, then scowled at my grinning cat. I figure it’s a snake… wiggles, about as thick as a pencil, she should have been all over that. The bitch.
We let him go outside in the neighbor’s yard.
My dog came out and barked at him.
And that’s why I don’t trust cats.
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I am not sure which is funnier... The Attack of the Beavers or the Great Snake Escapade. Great stories guys.
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Lol. Okay I've got a story but I can promise I can't tell it as entertainingly.From kindergarden and throughout my early school years my mom walked me to school in the morning. I don't know why, maybe the movie Cujo, I had a fear of dogs. So if I got ahead of my mom on the street and she knew the house we were coming to had a dog she'd call my name and call me back. There was one dog on my path that would come running almost everyday. I know now he was just being friendly but to a short small kid a large dog jumping on you seems threatening not friendly. Well, after a few years of this (Why didn't my mom cross the street to avoid this house?) the dog's owner happened to be outside and called his dog off. The dog's name was Traci too. She thought my mom was calling her when she was calling me.
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I'm so excited to find this Matthew Reilly thread!
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I might have to re-read Scarecrow before the new one comes out. I've got tickets to the launch/signing thing on Oct 12th!
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Ha, I have 2 tix - one for me and one for my partner. I shall report back here on any interesting news :)
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Um, I already have an autograph, from a signing a couple of years ago. Not that I am a stalker or anything!
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I could use an update on Patric Bowers and his daughter Raven... though the way the last one ended, I'm worried about her.
Matt Reilly's next book is out in 4 days. Scarecrow and the Army of thieves. Unfortunately it won't be an ebook till Jan 2012. Matt is a bit of a mentor for me and has had a lot of influence on the PRIMAL series. He had this to say about my first short - PRIMAL Origin. "If you like Tom Clancy, you'll like PRIMAL. It bristles with authenticity because the guy who wrote it used to do it for real." Matthew Reilly, author of ICE STATION, SCARECROW and THE FIVE GREATEST WARRIORS.
http://www.amazon.com/PRIMAL-Origin-e...
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I thought Amazon had the next Scarecrow listed as January.
Hey guys, just want to say the book launch was lots of fun and Matthew had a presentation prepared, he was very articulate and had heaps of interesting things to say! When I have more time I will type up my notes :)AND I am beyond excited I have the new book in my hot little hands!!! (Alice - it's released in Australia first)
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No need to rub it in K! :)Hope its good.
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Action/Adventure Aficionados
Books mentioned in this topic
Great Expectations (other topics)Life is Elsewhere (other topics)
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Temple (other topics)
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Authors mentioned in this topic
Charles Dickens (other topics)Robert Ludlum (other topics)
