Writing Passionates discussion

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Group Creations > Let's write a story! (Current title The Object)

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message 101: by [deleted user] (new)

I held Cari in my arms, as we sneaked out the emergency exit for fear of attracting attention.


message 102: by T.O.L.I. (last edited Oct 10, 2008 04:03PM) (new)

T.O.L.I. (taleoflostink) | 1770 comments I knew from one of the maps of the area i had been looking at that the horpital was about a mile east "oh please be ok please!" I sniffled as I ran with Cari



message 103: by Nathan (new)

Nathan | 291 comments (((toli! we should do roleplay on it together! Ill make a topic for it....))))


message 104: by T.O.L.I. (new)

T.O.L.I. (taleoflostink) | 1770 comments ((that would be fun!!!!))


message 105: by Nathan (new)

Nathan | 291 comments ya. I made the topic. its in general


message 106: by T.O.L.I. (new)

T.O.L.I. (taleoflostink) | 1770 comments ((i posted))


message 107: by Riley (new)

Riley (booksarecool) Jay checked her in, telling the secretary that we were from out of town. As for how Cari hit her head, he explained that by saying that she slipped and hit her head.
The doctor could clearly see that our story didn't check out, but he seemed to let it past. I waited with bated breath as they gave her stitches.
"Sir." One of the doctors tapped me on the shoulder. I had been praying for Cari the entire time.
"Sir, your friend here, she's had huge amounts of blood loss. We're going to need to do a blood transplant."
Elsie paled at the words. If we did a blood transplant, we'd be in the records that the cops could access.



message 108: by T.O.L.I. (new)

T.O.L.I. (taleoflostink) | 1770 comments "ok" I gulped "From who?"


message 109: by Riley (new)

Riley (booksarecool) "Well," the doctor continued. "We'd have to see all of your blood types, and hope that one of yours matches hers."


message 110: by T.O.L.I. (new)

T.O.L.I. (taleoflostink) | 1770 comments NO! I thought that means they would have every single one of us on file! but to save Cari......."alright" jay whispered before I couls decide.

I looked at him 'thankyou' I mouthed.


message 111: by Nathan (new)

Nathan | 291 comments ((wait?? who did jay check in as? DId he say his name? Or make one up? htis is why i think we should improve our writing))))))


message 112: by T.O.L.I. (new)

T.O.L.I. (taleoflostink) | 1770 comments ((jay checked Crai into the hospital and now they have to get theyre blood taken...all of them!))


message 113: by Nathan (new)

Nathan | 291 comments ((i know but if he used a pen name then they wouldnt be able to track them. SO it makes a differance!)))


message 114: by Riley (new)

Riley (booksarecool) ((Sorry, I can edit it. I think that maybe we should go through all of it, end it, edit it, then post it in a different topic. Then, if there's any changes people want to make, they can point those out.))


message 115: by Nathan (new)

Nathan | 291 comments ((OH i know!!!!!!!!!))))

Suddenly the door smashed open and a man I recognized as thomas stormed in. "Ill do it!" he said.

((lol i thought it needed a twist :) )))


message 116: by T.O.L.I. (new)

T.O.L.I. (taleoflostink) | 1770 comments ((wait whos thomas?!))


message 117: by Riley (new)

Riley (booksarecool) ((Wait, I thought Thomas was still arrested??? Maybe a little on in the story they could break him out...or were you kidding? Sorry, I have a hard time knowing whether people are kidding or not.))


message 118: by Nathan (new)

Nathan | 291 comments ((lol the guy in the little shack who made pancakes!)))


message 119: by Riley (new)

Riley (booksarecool) ((Remember the old dude? We decided to name him Thomas.))


message 120: by T.O.L.I. (new)

T.O.L.I. (taleoflostink) | 1770 comments ((oh, I thought he was arrested?))


message 121: by Nathan (new)

Nathan | 291 comments ((YAY! this is my 100th topic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)))))


message 122: by Riley (new)

Riley (booksarecool) ((Yeah, he was. What the heck are you doing Nathan?))


message 123: by Nathan (new)

Nathan | 291 comments ((EXACTLY!!!!!!!! LOL! HE BROKE OUT OF JAIL!!!!!!!!!!!i mean its a little to quick and i guess im a hipocrit [dont know how to spell!:] for saying we should improve writing. BUT I STILL LIKE THE TWIST!!!))))))


message 124: by T.O.L.I. (new)

T.O.L.I. (taleoflostink) | 1770 comments ((yea he got arrested!!))


message 125: by T.O.L.I. (new)

T.O.L.I. (taleoflostink) | 1770 comments ((OH!!!!))




message 126: by T.O.L.I. (last edited Oct 10, 2008 06:18PM) (new)

T.O.L.I. (taleoflostink) | 1770 comments "are you their guardian?" the doctor questioned

"yes!" he called out a little too quickly and he walked into the blood taking room with the doctor, as he walked by he winked and mouthed 'ill explain later'


message 127: by Riley (new)

Riley (booksarecool) ((Do you think that before that you could switch to Thomas' point of view and show him breaking out? Please, just to make more sense.))


message 128: by Nathan (new)

Nathan | 291 comments ((p.s. u werent very exited about my 100th topic! lol
jk but i made a coment in Found)))


message 129: by Nathan (new)

Nathan | 291 comments ((maybe))


message 130: by T.O.L.I. (new)

T.O.L.I. (taleoflostink) | 1770 comments ((well i think my post will fix it up, he'll explain it later to them!))


message 131: by Nathan (new)

Nathan | 291 comments (( lets do that together on the next chapter)))


message 132: by Riley (new)

Riley (booksarecool) ((Okay. Thnks guys.))


message 133: by T.O.L.I. (new)

T.O.L.I. (taleoflostink) | 1770 comments ((wait no! read my post, its only a few above it elxplans it!))


message 134: by Nathan (new)

Nathan | 291 comments ((ya. lets end this chapter RIGHT before he explains it to them. It would end "well.......". NEXT CHAPTER: yadda yadda yadda. K?)))


message 135: by Riley (new)

Riley (booksarecool) ((K. Sounds good. But, maybe we should divide it into chapters when we edit it.))


message 136: by T.O.L.I. (last edited Oct 10, 2008 06:27PM) (new)

T.O.L.I. (taleoflostink) | 1770 comments Thomas sat down lightly on one of the stools in the room.


message 137: by Nathan (last edited Oct 10, 2008 06:28PM) (new)

Nathan | 291 comments ((actully do u mind if i change ur thing toli????

Thomas grunted as the man took his blood. A rattle came from the waiting room as the doctor looked up at elsie who had just spilled a glass of water. "ughh ill be right back" he said. THomas looked at the computer screen and saw that his blood didnt match. He quickly pulled up to the computer and got to work.....

when the doctor came back he looked at the man in the chair. "oh right!" he said. He looked at the computer screen. "Perfect match!" he said.

((i thought that Thomas could have stolen some info from the doctors computer and printed it to a secret location.)))


message 138: by T.O.L.I. (new)

T.O.L.I. (taleoflostink) | 1770 comments ((K! ill edit mine!))


message 139: by Riley (new)

Riley (booksarecool) ((Wait, if he didn't have the right blood type then Cari could be in serious danger!))


message 140: by Nathan (new)

Nathan | 291 comments ((k thnx. Im glad u liked my idea!)))


message 141: by Riley (new)

Riley (booksarecool) ((Well, I like your idea but it's medically incorrect. Sorry, but I have this thing where I'm a real stickler if things in a book aren't true or inaccurate.))


message 142: by Nathan (new)

Nathan | 291 comments ((why isnt it correct?????)))))


message 143: by T.O.L.I. (new)

T.O.L.I. (taleoflostink) | 1770 comments ((gtg! dont do too much without me jk! bi!))


message 144: by Riley (new)

Riley (booksarecool) ((If he gave her the wrong type of blood, it could mess up her system and potentially kill her. If both his and her blood types were the same, he could just change both of their blood types into different ones.))


message 145: by Nathan (new)

Nathan | 291 comments ((lol. sry! ill fix it up! Trust me)))))


message 146: by Riley (new)

Riley (booksarecool) ((Okay. I was just worried that we'd have to kill off Cari. Tom would be devastated.))


message 147: by Nathan (new)

Nathan | 291 comments the doctor picked up the bag of blood and took it to the room where cari was. THomas pushed everything over, trying to cause another distraction. "What now!!!" the doctor screamed. Thomas's chair fell over and he slid a note across the floor over to Tom. Tom picked it up and read: 'tom, go to the blood storage room and find Cari some matching blood. Then we have got to get out of here! P.S. her blood is _______' Her type of blood was smeared. he would just have to guess. He raced to the Blood Storage room and looked around for some blood. He pulled some B negative and left. He ran back into the room with Cari and quickly switched the blood.

((how is that?? And i have a special twist on how he picks the right one!!!!Ill tell u later. P.S. it involves ESP! Well, sort of.... :D )))))


message 148: by Riley (new)

Riley (booksarecool) ((Hmmm...interesting...Maybe we should put Cari in a coma, and she communicates with Tom via ESP!!!))


message 149: by Nathan (new)

Nathan | 291 comments ((lo! that would rock!!!!!!!! But here: ill give u a spoiler lol.

We have to come up with wat the object is right? So I was thinking that if u have the object u can do things telepathicly, but its stronger if u love somone! ((lol that last part was tacky but thats wat i was thinking)))


message 150: by Riley (new)

Riley (booksarecool) ((Hmmmm...maybe it's an experimental device? And has really strange side effects... and the government was planning on using it on enemies, but Elsie wants to use it to find her sister's boyfriend...hmmmm))


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