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Terminalcoffee discussion
Face Off! (Less Serious)
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Slut Factor
Hmmm, the first thing that comes to mind when I think of the word "slutty" is American Apparel advertising campaigns.
Yes! American Apparel ads are super slutty.I am more judgemental of women who look slutty than I am of people who act slutty. And like that art vs. pornography debate, I know slut when I see it.
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Clothes are slutty on other people, but sexy if they're on me :PBut, yeah, you know slut when you see it.
It's high on my list, KD, of least fave words... up there with "liar" and "hate." But you guys knew what I was trying to say, right? I was trying to think of a PC way to ask my question and there really just wasn't one.
Kristina wrote: "Yes! American Apparel ads are super slutty.I am more judgemental of women who look slutty than I am of people who act slutty. And like that art vs. pornography debate, I know slut when I see it."
I'm not familiar w/ them... why are they slutty? And what's w/ "I know slut when I see one/it"... you're the second person who's said that this week (which largely sparked my curiosity to asking the question in the first place).
Sallers, why're lurking?
I'm all for slutty!No, sometimes if people try too hard it's kind of gross. I like some mystery.
Heidi wrote: "When is slutty okay? Where's the line drawn between sexy/slutty? Is there one?"
Feh... Any guy who pretends not to dream of women with tight pants and loose morals is so full of it his eyes are brown. That combination works, has always worked and will work until we're all choking on hoof dust from the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Shit that doesn't work goes the way of the dodo after a few years.
Feh... Any guy who pretends not to dream of women with tight pants and loose morals is so full of it his eyes are brown. That combination works, has always worked and will work until we're all choking on hoof dust from the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Shit that doesn't work goes the way of the dodo after a few years.
there is a fine line line between "cougar" and slutty.
I think slutty has a lot to do with low self-esteem. A woman who is confident is sexy; a woman who will stoop to anything for attention can be seen as "slutty." Not that all women with low self-esteem are slutty, but there is a certain air of desperation necessary to bring the word slutty to mind in a given situation.
ms.petra wrote: "there is a fine line line between "cougar" and slutty."
I agree. And another fine line between "cougar" and slutty and mature women who just refuse to admit that their youth has an expiration date. Growing old, paying taxes, death, and another Rolling Stones tour every five to ten years are all a part of life. Deal with it.
I agree. And another fine line between "cougar" and slutty and mature women who just refuse to admit that their youth has an expiration date. Growing old, paying taxes, death, and another Rolling Stones tour every five to ten years are all a part of life. Deal with it.
I really like the way this discussion is developing in this thread... it's exactly what I had in mind. Carry on...
Clark wrote: "ms.petra wrote: "there is a fine line line between "cougar" and slutty."I agree. And another fine line between "cougar" and slutty and mature women who just refuse to admit that their youth ..."
We have a set of women in our neighborhood who seem desperate to return to their late teens and twenties. They go out and get shitface drunk wearing VERY unadvisable tubetops. These women make me sad. I stay away.
RandomAnthony wrote: "VERY unadvisable tubetops"
Unadvisable in what way?
Unadvisable in what way?
It just occurred to me -- is there a corresponding term for men?
Larry wrote: "It just occurred to me -- is there a corresponding term for men?"Slut works for men too.
Larry wrote: "It just occurred to me -- is there a corresponding term for men?"I've discussed that ad naseum with some of my friends, and there isn't really one. There's "man-whore," but it has humorous connotations that slut doesn't.
Kevin "El Liso Grande" wrote: "mutt?"Hound dog?
Clark wrote: "Unadvisable in what way?"That's one of those "I know it when I see it" things.
Clark wrote: "RandomAnthony wrote: "VERY unadvisable tubetops"Unadvisable in what way?"
Clark, if your boobs are hanging around your waistline, a tube top is unadvisable.
Clark wrote: "RandomAnthony wrote: "VERY unadvisable tubetops"Unadvisable in what way?"
Like...the would be questionable on a twenty year old, but on a forty year old woman...just sad. Heh, like Jammies said, right.
Ok, I have a question. Do women who are sexually aggressive run the risk of appearing slutty? I mean, I think women (and I'm not just saying this to be nice) have to walk a finer line than men in this area. If a woman were in a bar, and the conversation turned to sex, and she said, "oh, yes, I love to have sex, I'm kind of hoping I meet someone tonight" she'd run the risk, I think, of appearing slutty. Whereas for guys I think that attitude is more or less a given and even a guy articulating that wouldn't be met in the same way. Does that make sense?
No, RA, it doesn't make sense. It's the good old double standard.
No, I didn't mean "does that make sense" in that way, Janice. I meant "did what I was saying make sense?" if, uh, that makes sense.
Gotcha. Yes, you were making sense in your articulation. :)
If a woman comes up to me in a bar and says, "I'd like to take you home and have sex with you all night" she is not a slut.If the same woman passes me by and says that same thing to my friend, she's a total slut.
Context is everything.
Since I haven't been in a serious relationship for the past two years, I can answer your question with a resounding YES! There is definitely a double standard. I think this is part of what has fueled the cougar phenomenon. I find that guys I have dated in my age group are looking for "a nurse and a purse." I have spent my entire life taking care of everyone else and right now I want to take care of myself and have some fun. Women definitely have to be more tactful, but it is much easier for a woman to get laid than a man. Guys rarely say no. :)
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I think the difference between slutty and sexy (and I think it's been pointed out here) is the sad factor.Sluts make me sad and they look sad, like a dog at the pound. Looking at them and their sluttiness makes my chest hurt the same way it does when I see that damn Sarah McLachlan commercial.
Sexy = confident... not the false bravado of sluts, but the true confidence of wearing something provocative (or acting provocative) and making it work.
** I was driving around the other day and three young girls, maybe in their early teens, were standing at the bus stop, but standing in the road, in super slutty shorts/tank top outfits and they were eating popsicles, but maybe not because they were tasty, but for more of a show. I laughed and laughed. And then I kind of wanted to throw them in my car and take them home to their moms.
I wonder what it feels like to be a sexy outfit.
janine wrote: "I wonder what it feels like to be a sexy outfit."I doubt if I will ever know.
Sexy girls dress for themselves, and if a guy likes it, that's nice but not the whole point. Slutty girls get dressed thinking about nothing but what other people think, and you can tell because it always looks like they're trying too hard. If a girl sleeps around with a different guy every night, that's her business and I don't care, but girls who dress and act like the only thing that makes their life worth living is a wolf whistle and a free drink make me sad.There are times when even the most laid-back or conservative girls will raise the slut flag. It's usually Halloween, and I will admit to being totally guilty of doing that myself.
I'll admit that it's a fantasy concept of sluttiness that intrigues me. Amber's description of it is not what I had in mind.
I think girls often have a much different view on sluttiness than guys because they are on the other side of the word, as it were. Women throw it at each other as an insult, while men see it as more of a conceptual thing or, like Larry said, based in fantasy. I think it is the word itself that is the major problem; it doesn't mean what it used to, but it still carries traces of it's original meaning, which is not flattering for someone on the receiving end. "Slut" used to mean much the same thing as "slattern," someone (almost always a woman) who is low-class, uncouth and probably dirty.
Well said, Amber. I never understood women who just leave nothing to the imagination.
I have a problem with slutty if we're talking 11-15 year old girls. A while back I saw a "Bratz Fashion show" in a mall, where girls 8-12 years old wore clothes that made me think of, well, sexually active teenagers.[image error]
My problem there is, that they're sending out signals they are unaware about, just because it's in fashion, and that can A: attract attention in problematic ways from older males and B: twist their ideas about how to get attention before they are old enough to make a conscious choice.
Apart from that I think people can do what they want, but I must admit that I find the mother of a friend of mine a bit slutty. She's in her 60's, wears clothes a skinny 20 year old *might* get away with, and throws herself at any man ages 20-70 she meets. So the desperate + the complete indifference to who she gets with = slutty in my book...
sluttiness is in the mind and eyes of the beholder. Personally, I was raised to wear a hat and gloves before going downtown/shopping/to the movies/out to dinner. I've come a long way from those days. But I am not in favor of pre=teens looking like 40 yr old hookers either. I have memories of my grandmother (who lived with us) literally standing in front of the door saying "If you think you're going out of this house looking like THAT young lady, you have another think coming" it was the beginning of mini skirts (2" above the knee). My sister and I would just roll up our skirts after we left the house. let them back down when we got to school. repeat when we went home. Unfortunately, at age 11 I was 36(C cup),22,36 and looked like I was 17 no matter how I dressed. Too physically mature, too young. I gained 25 pounds and promptly became unattractive to the opposite sex. led to a lifetime of overweight and emotional eating.
To me the difference between slutty and sexy is slutty has desperate attached to it and maybe a little skank factor too. Sexy is always confident. And I am the only woman who HATES the term cougar?
Just a random thought/ question that popped into mind and TC seems like the perect place to discuss this question.
I've always wondered if my assessment of slutty is too high and puritanical or too loose in reference to people/cultures everywhere else. This popped into mind as I was talking w/ a group of moms and the subject came up. I stayed tight-lipped during that discussion and mostly just listened. I did the same thing when my elderly neighbor confided to me that she caught the property manager dry humping near the mailboxes one day... except she said, "They were having sex with their clothes on!" I really had to use a bit of control to stifle a laugh.