Dangerous Hero Addict Support Group discussion

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Archived/Extinct Discussions > Do You Like or Dislike, When The Hero Is Mean To The Heroine?

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message 1: by Arch (new)

Arch  | 4246 comments Mod
How do you feel, when the hero is mean to the heroine? Do you like or dislike him being mean to the heroine?

I like to see the hero be mean to the heroine, because tension be in the air and that's his way of letting her know that she's grabbing or grabbed his heart.


message 2: by Pamela(AllHoney), Danger Zone (new)

Pamela(AllHoney) (pamelap) | 1706 comments Mod
Depends on the circumstances and intensity for me. If he's mean at the beginning before he falls "in love" then I can handle it if he's not too harsh. If he's mean in order to manipulate heroine into doing what he wants to keep her away from harm then ok. But if he constantly mean and demeaning to her then no, I don't care for it. A lot depends on the writer too. Some writers can make me like things I wouldn't normally.


message 3: by Love love (new)

Love love  | 151 comments I agree Arch. Also for me, if the H is mean to the h then there is more of an emotional range for me to experience.


message 4: by Danielle The Book Huntress , Loves 'Em Lethal (last edited Jul 19, 2011 09:48AM) (new)

 Danielle The Book Huntress  (gatadelafuente) | 9851 comments Mod
It depends. If the hero is 1)a ruthless, dangerous man on a mission, 2) is tortured and trying to push the heroine away so he/she doesn't get hurt, then I am okay with a mean hero. I don't like jerky, cruel, mean for no reason characters of either sex.

I think Anne Stuart can get away with a mean hero because they are usually like that for a real reason. Diana Palmer's heroes are usually trying to protect their hearts, so that's why they are mean. A hero who is just an a-hole without a cause will usually get on my nerves. I like to see the hero show his feelings for the heroine in some way, even if he words/overt actions aren't that nice. For instance, he will go out of his way to protect her, or do nice things for her like brush her hair, see to her comfort.


Like two of you have said, I do like an intense read with a lot of tension between the characters. I like the hate to love/enemies to lovers scenarios.

Also, if the H/h start out enemies, it makes sense for the hero to be mean to the heroine (but not abusive in a personal way).


message 5: by Arch (new)

Arch  | 4246 comments Mod
I agree about the emotional range Noelle.

I tend to let my heroes be mean to the heroine, but in a good way.

I don't like heartless heroes. That kind of mean is not called for.


message 6: by Aleksandra (new)

Aleksandra (AlexZiel) | 5 comments Ok, so I'm from the dark side... :-P
The meaner, the better. Of course I like it when in the end the hero can muster some bed manners for the sake of heroine only, but all in all... I'm the ultimate bastard lover. *^_^*


message 7: by Danielle The Book Huntress , Loves 'Em Lethal (new)

 Danielle The Book Huntress  (gatadelafuente) | 9851 comments Mod
I like it when the hero is pretty mean and surly, but the heroine is his soft spot.


message 8: by Aleksandra (new)

Aleksandra (AlexZiel) | 5 comments Exactly, just not right away. :-)


message 9: by Danielle The Book Huntress , Loves 'Em Lethal (new)

 Danielle The Book Huntress  (gatadelafuente) | 9851 comments Mod
I think it has to be a gradual thing for me to buy into it. I don't mind if he feels a connection, spark with her right away, but ignores it for a while.


message 10: by Aleksandra (new)

Aleksandra (AlexZiel) | 5 comments The best thing is when one suddenly realizes that the things that are usually annoying suddenly become endearing, and when he starts noticing things. It's the whole anviet concept of I hate you but I love you, I guess.


message 11: by Arch (last edited Jul 19, 2011 11:33AM) (new)

Arch  | 4246 comments Mod
Yes Danielle, I love it when the hero has a soft spot for the heroine. I also like when he spoils her.


message 12: by Danielle The Book Huntress , Loves 'Em Lethal (new)

 Danielle The Book Huntress  (gatadelafuente) | 9851 comments Mod
That's true, Aleksandra. That happens a lot in Anne Stuart books.

I love when the hero takes care of the heroine, even though that's not his typical nature.


message 13: by [deleted user] (new)

I agree.... hey give some example books...... hehehehe
I loved KC A Hunger Like No Other....


message 14: by Danielle The Book Huntress , Loves 'Em Lethal (new)

 Danielle The Book Huntress  (gatadelafuente) | 9851 comments Mod
I thought in Cold as Ice by Anne Stuart, the hero who was watching out for the heroine, even though he didn't have to. Also Dragos from Dragon Bound was pretty tender with Pia, always wanting to brush her hair.

I love A Hunger Like No Other.


message 15: by [deleted user] (last edited Jul 19, 2011 01:19PM) (new)

Yes those are the kind of romance books that I am always trying to find. I guess I will have to start Cold as Ice.


message 16: by Lauren (new)

Lauren (laurenjberman) I enjoy a good battle of wills with the heroine giving as good as she gets. I'm not sure if this qualifies as mean.
One thing I don't like is when the hero tells the heroine to shut up as if what she has to say has no significance. This happened in The Search by Nora Roberts and it put me right off the hero.


message 17: by Roshio (last edited Jul 19, 2011 02:02PM) (new)

Roshio | 26 comments Lauren wrote: "I enjoy a good battle of wills with the heroine giving as good as she gets. I'm not sure if this qualifies as mean.
One thing I don't like is when the hero tells the heroine to shut up as if what ..."


I agree Lauren, I hate that. The only time I am okay with the Hero being mean is in one of those cases where he believes the heroine has hurt/wronged him, so tries to hurt her back even though it breaks his heart to do so. So he's hating her as he's loving her which makes him hate her more thereby making him mean!

Oh or where he has just realised he's falling for her and tries to run away from it by being mean to her.


message 18: by Arch (new)

Arch  | 4246 comments Mod
My baby Sam Starrett was Alyssa's Locke nemesis for a long time. They rocked tension. They both were mean to each other and at the same time, they were in love with one another. They didn't know how to come out and tell each other they loved the other person. Well, Sam did tell Alyssa, but because he was her nemesis, she thought he was just playing.


message 19: by Debbie (new)

Debbie (halfpint66) | 272 comments The meaner the better! Because he has it bad for the heroine and he doesn't want to admit it to anyone, especially himself. The meaner he is, the worse you know he has it.


message 20: by Lauren (new)

Lauren (laurenjberman) Roshio wrote: The only time I am okay with the Hero being mean is in one of those cases where he believes the heroine has hurt/wronged him, so tries to hurt her back even though it breaks his heart to do so. So..."

I like those scenarios too.


message 21: by Jessa ♥ EvilDarkSide (last edited Jul 20, 2011 07:03AM) (new)

Jessa ♥ EvilDarkSide (metalgirl80) Arch wrote: "Yes Danielle, I love it when the hero has a soft spot for the heroine. I also like when he spoils her."

I love this type of hero. I also like the type of storyline where the hero is cold and ruthless to "outsiders" but shows his warm and loving side to his woman. Hm. Ace Keegan comes to mind...probably because I just read his book, LOL! Ace definitely knows how to treat a lady ;)


message 22: by Arch (new)

Arch  | 4246 comments Mod
Jessa ♥Dhanger♥ wrote: "I love this type of hero. I also like the type of storyline where the hero is cold and ruthless to "outsiders" but shows his warm and loving side to his woman. Hm. Ace Keegan comes to mind...probably because I just read his book, LOL! Ace definitely knows how to treat a lady ;)"

Jessa, I like when the hero is cold and ruthless to someone in the front of the heroine and she gets on him about it.


message 23: by Nanna -DD- (last edited Jul 20, 2011 09:06AM) (new)

Nanna -DD- yeah, I agree with most of ya'll. It depends of his reasons. But I wouldn't use the word mean, to me that almost refers to being evil. But if hes a bit rough/ruthless or too forward/outspoken/honest towards her, because it's his character it's quite alright. Wait, I don't think that made any sense???


message 24: by Danielle The Book Huntress , Loves 'Em Lethal (new)

 Danielle The Book Huntress  (gatadelafuente) | 9851 comments Mod
It makes sense, Nanna. I like grumpy, brooding heroes.


message 25: by Love love (new)

Love love  | 151 comments Arch wrote: "My baby Sam Starrett was Alyssa's Locke nemesis for a long time. They rocked tension. They both were mean to each other and at the same time, they were in love with one another. They didn't know ho..."

My favorite out of that whole series was Sam and Alyssa's story. Your right, they had sooo much tension between them. =)


message 26: by Arch (new)

Arch  | 4246 comments Mod
Noelle wrote: "My favorite out of that whole series was Sam and Alyssa's story. Your right, they had sooo much tension between them. =)"

And I loved every tension moment.


Jessa ♥ EvilDarkSide (metalgirl80) Arch wrote: "Jessa, I like when the hero is cold and ruthless to someone in the front of the heroine and she gets on him about it."

Yes, that's a good premise also. It makes for such a sweet and endearing scene. Sometimes it can even be funny. The hero would only take such a scolding from his lady love...no one else would dare ;)


message 28: by Arch (new)

Arch  | 4246 comments Mod
A lot of dangerous bad boys have been mean to the heroines.


message 29: by Zee (new)

Zee Monodee (zee_monodee) | 688 comments For me it depends on whether or not the heroine deserves it. Like, is she's a bitch or a brat, then yes, I like him to be mean so he rattles her cage and makes her wake up, so to speak.
But other circumstances, not so much.


MrsJoseph *grouchy* (mrsjoseph) I'm not really into the mean guys. I like domineering and pushy, I find the surly angry guy quite sexy...but the mean guy rubs me the wrong way.

As Lady D mentioned, I LOVED Dragos in Dragon Bound. He was mean to OTHER people and he was pushy but he was never mean to Pia.

*Gosh, I just want to say again that I LOVED Dragos. Loved him. LOVED it!*


message 31: by Arch (new)

Arch  | 4246 comments Mod
What I see as being mean. Say the heroine is the hero's captive. If he makes her do something that she doesn't want to do - that's being mean in my eyes.


message 32: by Angie (new)

Angie | 21 comments Pamela(AllHoney) wrote: "Depends on the circumstances and intensity for me. If he's mean at the beginning before he falls "in love" then I can handle it if he's not too harsh. If he's mean in order to manipulate heroine in..."

I have to agree with this as well, and there has to be a balance between the hero's meaness and his redeeming qualities:)


Shannonreads like crazy | 2 comments I agree with many of the comments. I like a grumpy, surly hero whose soft spot is the heroine. I also like the resisting hero - the guy who's mean because he's afraid he's falling for the heroine. Guys who fall in love and show it too quickly just don't do it for me. LOL


message 34: by Katya (new)

Katya | 327 comments How about Zsadist in Lover Awakened (Black Dagger Brotherhood, #3) by J.R. Ward He was pretty nasty to Bella in the beginning. And alot of Karen Marie Moning's Heroes start off mean to their counterparts until things get going.

These types of heroes who treat their women like that in the beginning don't really bother me too much....they are usually damaged in some way and turn into interesting characters.


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