YA LGBT Books discussion

774 views
Young Love > Coming Out

Comments Showing 1-50 of 449 (449 new)    post a comment »
« previous 1 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

message 1: by Lori (new)

Lori  (moderatrixlori) What's your coming out story?


message 2: by Summer (new)

Summer Michaels | 361 comments *snuggles* Hi TR! Where have you been? Great blog on your anniversary!

How old were you when you told another person? Was your grandmother the first person you told?


message 3: by Glass (new)

Glass Well, guys, you're lucky ones! Where I live, being gay is taboo. Last year there was this queer art festival and people who showed up there got really "warm welcome". There's no need to say that there wasn't festival this year.


message 4: by Darkm (last edited Jul 12, 2011 11:15AM) (new)

Darkm | 171 comments Glass I'm really sorry to hear about that :(
I do hope times will change


Thorny your blog is wonderful. :)


message 5: by Anne (new)

Anne Tenino (annetenino) Do you feel like you should act more butch?


message 6: by Anne (new)

Anne Tenino (annetenino) Part of me wants to say, "Oh, Thorny, I wish you didn't feel you had to do that!" but part of me recognizes we all do that to some extent. Just different situations make us act in different ways.

Thanks for sharing your stories, guys. They're really interesting and touching.


message 7: by Glass (new)

Glass Thorny wrote: "An ad in the paper :) In the beginning, it did feel like I should just wear a sign on my forehead. Acting more butch is the hard part nowadays.

They tried with that art festival, though, Glass, so..."


I really hope so!


message 8: by Troy (new)

Troy (skaterkid) | 16 comments I came out when I was 15. The first person I told was my best friend. We went back a long ways and I knew without a doubt he would be accepting of me, which he was. I think all he said was something like, "I sorta figured." I asked him if it bothered him and he got this weird look on his face and said, "Why would it bother me?" I think all I said in reply was, "I don't know." And he said, "If you told me you were an ax murder, I'd be concerned." I just said, "Okay," and we went on with whatever it was we were doing.

I also came out to my family shortly after that, but I went about it it the totally wrong way. I was really pissed at my dad one day and we were going at it big time. I don't remember the argument we were having but I remember how mad I was at him. I just blurted out, "Well, I hope you feel good you raised a faggot son." I mean, that was totally not part of the argument and made no sense whatever, but I just said it to hurt him. It caused this big riff in our relationship, even bigger than the one that was there already. To this day I regret I did it. I was able to eventually talk to him about it, and we worked things out. We still don't talk about it, but he's not had any problem with me bringing home a few guys I've dated.

When I told some other friends I was gay, some had a problem with it. The way I looked at it was, it was an opportunity for me to re-think whether we had been friends all along or not. I mean, I was exactly the same person I always was before I told them. My attitude was (and is) if you can't accept me for who I am, well, guess we better go our separate ways. Life is too short, you know? I like who I am and like to be around people who accept me, whether you're gay, straight, bi, lesbian or whatever.


message 9: by Summer (new)

Summer Michaels | 361 comments I think you young men are simply incredible! Sharing apart of yourselves that is so personal is hard to do.

@Batman (Thorny) You amaze me!! For such a young guy who has been through so much, you bring so much joy and happiness to everyone. You are just like your profile pic to me, this sunshine that you can't imagine how your life was before it entered your life. Simply breathtaking young man!!

@Matt, you seem to have an amazing family and support system! I wish every kid was that lucky!!

@Troy, coming out does not come with a guideline manual, so I wouldn't say you did it the wrong way. You were a 15 year old boy who was dealing with so many emotions. We all say things we don't mean in anger. I hope you and your dad were able to fix your relationship. If you lost friends because of who you are, then they were not real friends to begin with. Friends are human beings, if everyone was like the next person then life would be boring. *HUGS*


message 10: by Summer (new)

Summer Michaels | 361 comments Thorny, Matt, and Troy...

Could you guys help me out with a little plot bunny I would like to turn into a YA piece? Thorny, I posted my idea in our writing/critique group thread Say Anything. I think it is post 297ish. Matt and Troy, I will PM you both with the story info if you would like.


message 11: by Hellen (new)

Hellen (likaspain) I admire you too. I can't imagine my mum's face if I'd tell her I read M/M romance, let alone if I were lesbian. I love her but I don't agree with many of her beliefs (She told my little sister masturbation is a sin). It's hard knowing your loved ones could disown you, but like Troy said, it's an opportunity to know who your real friends are =)


message 12: by Anne (new)

Anne Tenino (annetenino) Dude, for a kid not masturbating is a sin. Or at least not healthy.


message 13: by Cleon Lee (last edited Jul 14, 2011 10:43PM) (new)

Cleon Lee You guys are all admirable & brave!

*hugs Glass* I really get what you're saying because I am living in an intolerant country too.


message 14: by Darkm (new)

Darkm | 171 comments Your guys are amazing :)

Summer I think you couldn't give a better description of Thorny, sometimes when I read his blog I'm just amazed :)


Enchantedtoreadyou | 21 comments Hellen wrote: "I admire you too. I can't imagine my mum's face if I'd tell her I read M/M romance, let alone if I were lesbian. I love her but I don't agree with many of her beliefs (She told my little sister mas..."

Oh evertime I read something like this I wonder myslef, why my parents are so cool with me reading M/M. It makes me kinda proud and happy. Are you hiding the books from her?


message 16: by Hellen (new)

Hellen (likaspain) Enchantedtoreadyou wrote: "Hellen wrote: "I admire you too. I can't imagine my mum's face if I'd tell her I read M/M romance, let alone if I were lesbian. I love her but I don't agree with many of her beliefs (She told my li..."

You are very lucky! That's the way it should be; we live in the 21th century not in the 15th. My mother doesn't speak English so I buy only books with "safe" covers. Thank God for e-books! The problem comes when purchasing mangas, they are more uhm... graphic. In that case, I hide them between my other "normal" mangas =)


message 17: by Brendan (BJ) (last edited Jul 15, 2011 07:04AM) (new)

Brendan (BJ) (heresjohnny) | 382 comments I wish I was as strong as you guys... Thorny, Troy, Matt... As much as I want to come out to my friends and family, I can't... every time I think I might be coming close to telling someone (I've only confirmed that i'm gay to a few people) it's like I get flashbacks to the days that I would lock myself in the bathrooms at school just so that I didn't have to face all the shit I copped (after all, being invisible is better than being abused)... and the extremenly dysfunctional family (i've only got a good relationship with my mum in a family of 5) not really the most supportive environment...

I don't know... I just can't do it. And I don't know how long it'll take for me to trust people again... but I'm working on it... Thanks to Ang (love you babe) and everyone on goodreads (this was the first place I actually spoke to someone about it), i'm getting there :D

Oh right, first coming out... I came out to my best friend from highschool i think it was last month... I was crashing at her place after a party and looking back on it now i'm pretty sure she was hitting on me, so when i told her she wasn't my type and I told her what my type WAS, I was ecstatic, relieved, giddy almost when she screamed and hugged me :)

As Thorny said earlier, baby steps :P


message 18: by Lori (new)

Lori  (moderatrixlori) I wish my son was a member so he could tell his coming out story. His issue wasn't in telling me, it was admitting it to himself and then telling his friends. When I sat him down to have the "I think you're gay" talk, he cried and said "I can't even say the word". We talked for a long time about what it meant to him to be gay, how going off to college was the perfect time to admit the truth to himself and be who he really is. He was so upset about having to give up his dreams of getting married, having kids and the proverbial white picket fence. I told him he could still have those things it just might be a little more challenging. Once he admitted it to me, he needed to tell my sister who he's very close to. From there the rest of the family was told and nobody, not even my 91 year old dad, gave him a hard time about it. There were lots of questions and "is he sure?" kind of comments but it's really been a non-issue for everyone.

He's slowly been telling all of his friends. At first he told them he was bi-sexual. I guess that didn't sound quite so shocking to him as admitting he was gay. Once again, nobody had a negative reaction. He's a professional water skier skiing in the Tommy Bartlett show this summer in Wisconsin. One of the girls up there had heard rumors about him and came out and asked him about it. He admitted he was gay and she was like "oh, that's cool". At that point he figured he should tell his boss before he heard it from anyone else and Jeremy was great about it. Told him that if anyone gave him a hard time to let him know, that he had his back.

Every time he tells someone, a little bit of the burden of carrying around that secret is lifted. He told me awhile ago that he had created this homophobic environment around him that didn't really exist.

I wish it were that way for everyone but I know it's not. Those that live in intolerant parts of the world or have family and friends who would not be accepting, have it really rough. Even where I live which is pretty progressive, I still encounter parents in my support group who can't accept their child is gay.

I'm here for anyone who needs someone to talk to. I facilitate a support group for both GLBTQ kids and their parents so I'm a good listener :)


message 19: by Lori (new)

Lori  (moderatrixlori) John wrote: "I wish I was as strong as you guys... Thorny, Troy, Matt... As much as I want to come out to my friends and family, I can't... every time I think I might be coming close to telling someone (I've on..."

{{{{Hugs}}}} John. I'm so sorry you've had a rough time of it. I'm glad you've found some support here.


message 20: by Cleon Lee (new)

Cleon Lee John wrote: "I wish I was as strong as you guys... Thorny, Troy, Matt... As much as I want to come out to my friends and family, I can't... every time I think I might be coming close to telling someone (I've on..."

*hugs* I can relate to some level, I am an agnostic living in religious country and conservative Christian family. Having no religion is as taboo as homosexual. I am still in the closet about my agnosticism to my family & most of my friends. I came out to some of my friends but most don't really believe I am no longer a Christian and some just think "it's a phase". It's the same with my reading & writing material, aka gay romance. Having online friends, esp my GR friends, really help.


message 21: by Brendan (BJ) (new)

Brendan (BJ) (heresjohnny) | 382 comments Thanks guys... :P oh and I forgot Glass in my last post (sorry :P)... I can only imagine what you must have to go through where you're from... where ARE you from? :)

@ Lori: your son should join! :D It'd be great to have him with us! :) haha My mum's tried to broach the whole 'you're gay' discussion with me before (she locked the car doors while speeding down the highway at 110k's an hour) I took the advice of every lawyer worth half his salt: "deny, deny deny"... lol and it's easy to alienate yourself because you get kind of paranoid... I kind of got to the point where if someone said hi to me I'd yell at them because I thought they were having a go at me... :S as you can imagine, that did wonders for my social life ;) hahaha

@Cleon: where are you from? I think the 'phase' card is always played because people don't fully understand what you feel and are hoping you eventually 'see the light' and conform to society's stock standard expectations... i have a bisexual friend whose mum always palms her coming out to her as seeking attention... and that's why I love GR - religion, sexuality, ethnicity, age - none of it really matters :) we're all here because we have something in common and I think it's great :) a much better and supportive version of reality ;)


message 22: by Jaime (new)

Jaime What a great thread, I love reading coming out stories. Thanks to all who are sharing their stories.

Hugs to John, you are in my thoughts! I hope things get better for you.

Lori you are truly a remarkable woman!


message 23: by Lori (new)

Lori  (moderatrixlori) John wrote: "Lori: your son should join! :D It'd be great to have him with us! :) ..."

Unfortunately he's not a reader :( I'm not sure how that happened since we read all kinds of books together when he was a kid.


message 24: by Jaime (new)

Jaime Hugs to you too Glass and all the others who might be reading that feel they can't be their true self because of the ignorance of others.


message 25: by Cleon Lee (new)

Cleon Lee John wrote: "Thanks guys... :P oh and I forgot Glass in my last post (sorry :P)... I can only imagine what you must have to go through where you're from... where ARE you from? :)

@ Lori: your son should join..."


I am from Indonesia. I pretty much decide now that what I believe is not anyone's business but my own.


message 26: by Lori (new)

Lori  (moderatrixlori) Jaime wrote: "Hugs to you too Glass and all the others who might be reading that feel they can't be their true self because of the ignorance of others."

Yes Glass, hugs to you too. I'm so sorry for missing your post.


message 27: by Summer (new)

Summer Michaels | 361 comments John sweetheart, you do have one thing completely wrong. You are as strong as the other males of this group. http://www.thefreedictionary.com/stre... (I think you are number 3) You may not be in a place where you can come out to all of your friends and family, that doesn't make you weak. It makes you stronger for knowing who you are and not bending to become what others want you to be. Don't count yourself short!! Your time will come, don't rush it. Everyone in this group is here for you. Hugs sweet man!!

Lori, Dalton is so lucky to have you!! So are the kids and families you work with. I am glad you are still enjoying it. Did your friend go back home this summer. (I can't remember this name)


message 28: by Glass (new)

Glass Sorry guys! I didn't read this topic for a while!
First, I have to say something which I probably shoul've said earlier - I'm not gay. I'm here to support all off you who are. :) Sorry! But I'm high school teacher and I work with lot of young people affraid to be what they are. So I hoped that talking with you guys might help me to help them. Ughh... (I hope my English doesn't sucks!)
P.S. I live in Bosnia and Herzegovina - small country in Europe.


Enchantedtoreadyou | 21 comments Hellen wrote: "Enchantedtoreadyou wrote: "Hellen wrote: "I admire you too. I can't imagine my mum's face if I'd tell her I read M/M romance, let alone if I were lesbian. I love her but I don't agree with many of ..."

Oh that´s what I though going through the covvers of some books I´d love to read. I just can´t read them in the train or something, because imagine the gazes they would give me. Sometimes I hate that, but to know even my dad would read a M/M book written by me, gives me strenghts. But than again I think of many girls I know who share this hobby, but are afraid to tell it to their parents. I hope you are able to do that someday though! I don´t think it´s wrong to hide if it makes you feel better and makes life easier though!


message 30: by Darkm (new)

Darkm | 171 comments John strength means also know when is time to talk and when is better to wait. :)
There's nothing bad in baby steps, they'll carry you where you want to go, just a bit slower.


message 31: by Cleon Lee (new)

Cleon Lee Darkm wrote: "John strength means also know when is time to talk and when is better to wait. :)
There's nothing bad in baby steps, they'll carry you where you want to go, just a bit slower."


I very much agree. Sometimes the biggest strength is to know when to speak out and when to shut up. lol. It's not easy living in hiding, but there are some circumstances that it might be for the best.


message 32: by Lori (new)

Lori  (moderatrixlori) Summer wrote: "Lori, Dalton is so lucky to have you!! So are the kids and families you work with. I am glad you are still enjoying it. Did your friend go back home this summer. (I can't remember this name) ..."

Thanks Summer. I feel like I'm the lucky one. He's a great kid. Jordan is back in Micronesia now. He'll be back to attend college in December. He was very homesick so it's good that he's spending some time at home. Thanks for asking about him :)


message 33: by Hellen (new)

Hellen (likaspain) Cleon wrote: Having no religion is as taboo as homosexual.

It's the 2nd time I read something like this. Funny how in Spain is the opposite, nobody talks about religion. It's frowned upon.

I'm watching a TV program right now and there's this guy who's coming out to his parents. They told him they'll love him no matter what. Wish they were all like that =)


message 34: by Lori (new)

Lori  (moderatrixlori) I think we need a {{{{group}}}} hug :)


message 35: by Anne (new)

Anne Tenino (annetenino) FWIW, all my RL LGBTQ friends are older, and the ones who weren't forced out through circumstance (or in some cases, simply being not able to blend) were the happiest with the process. My cousin had a horrible time in high school, and even now in her late 40's she has scars on her arms from cutting herself then.

Courage and bravery should be measured with an internal yardstick. I think you all are incredibly brave.


message 36: by Cotilla (last edited Jul 15, 2011 03:01PM) (new)

Cotilla | 11 comments Hi everybody!

I had no problem admiting to myself that I was gay, and it was partially thanks to Loveless, Volume 1 and Princess Princess, because before them I didn't identify my feelings as finding men attractive. They I started reading slash fiction online and that was that.

I think had it much better coming out than others may have it, because my aunt is lesbian, has married her partner and they have a beautiful son. But I was afraid that while my mother loved her sister, she wouldn't want her son to be queer too. I didn't care much what my father thought, because I don't like much his family.

I loved my best friend, despite his being a rude asshole. He had been my classmate pretty much since kindergarten and friends since junior high (I think it's that, Spain uses a diferent grade sistem). He was the DM in our roleplaying group, so after he finished shcool and I kept studying, we still saw each other each week. But we had a big fight just before I started university and I had a hard time getting over him, and I totally blew my first year. When my parents confronted me about it I started bawling like a baby and told them that I'm gay and I was in love with my best friend and he was an asshole and we had fighted and I missed him. I tried to start university again, but I kept failing, and I think I was depressed for a long time. Now I'm searching for a job and trying to write a little every day. My sister (a year younger than me) knows for sure, although we haven't discused it (we watch gay themed films together, we discuss yaoi drawings and I reccomend her good M/M romances). And my friends know and don't care (when I told my best female friend she told me she was bi).



Anne wrote: "Do you feel like you should act more butch?"

Absolutely not. I could pass for straight without a problem, but I love wearing eyeliner and nail polish and jewelery and my favourite t-shirt is a fuchsia one with black letters that say "welcome to the dark side". And I blatantly stare at the cute guys. It helps that I'm fairly tall and rather big, so I don't think anybody would dare getting physically aggressive.


message 37: by [deleted user] (new)

Well I think everyone knows my story. It not, The Mis-adventures of a Teenage Mark here it is!

Oh the embarrassment! LOL


message 38: by Cleon Lee (last edited Jul 15, 2011 11:43PM) (new)

Cleon Lee I just read this wonderful quote and I want to share it with you guys.

"Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.
--Christopher Robin to Pooh" — A.A. Milne



message 39: by Darkm (new)

Darkm | 171 comments I like this quote very much Cleon.

Mark I hadn't read your bio, I have to asap! :)


message 40: by [deleted user] (new)

Darkm wrote: "I like this quote very much Cleon.

Mark I hadn't read your bio, I have to asap! :)"


You're in for a laugh at my expense :D


message 41: by Cleon Lee (new)

Cleon Lee Mark wrote: "Darkm wrote: "I like this quote very much Cleon.

Mark I hadn't read your bio, I have to asap! :)"

You're in for a laugh at my expense :D"


Sounds like a fun read. :D


message 42: by Summer (new)

Summer Michaels | 361 comments Hahahaha!!! Mark's bio should come with a warning. While reading this material, please do not consume any food or drink, for you will spill them laughing.


message 43: by Darkm (new)

Darkm | 171 comments Mark actually I did laugh quite a bit :D but I enjoied your stile a lot too :) So now I'm stuck with a giant spider alien and I've aracnophobia. I must be insane lol


♥Laddie♥ (Lee Lee) Thorny, Matt, John, Cotilla, Troy-

No matter who else is proud of you (and count me among those who are) I hope you always remember to be proud of yourselves.

Whether you come out to yourself, one other person, or five hundred other people, it's a sign of bravery, strength and courage.


message 45: by Mary (new)

Mary Gresham | 4 comments Oh God Mark, ants, a watermelon seed? I think I"ve seen it all. Your story made my day!!


message 46: by Justin (new)

Justin South (justinsouth) | 79 comments Lori said: "I'm here for anyone who needs someone to talk to. I facilitate a support group for both GLBTQ kids and their parents so I'm a good listener :)

Um, just to add to Lori's remark, the reason I'm here is to provide any assistance I can offer to members, especially to Aussies.

I've assisted quite a few guys, which, to save repeating myself, is documented in the M/M Romance group's "It gets better" video, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uLrUv0... My contribution commences at 7 min 45secs

Anyone who needs a shoulder to lean on, an older guy to chat with, I'm here.
Cheers
Justin


message 47: by Byron (new)

Byron (byft) | 1060 comments Wow.. what a great "it get's better" video..
Cheers,
b


message 48: by Lori (new)

Lori  (moderatrixlori) Thank you for mentioning the video Justin! I don't know why I didn't think of posting a link to it before.


message 49: by Cotilla (new)

Cotilla | 11 comments Thorny wrote: "Cotilla, I apologize if this is too nosy, but did you ever make up with your friend? And it sounds like you still have a good relationship with your parents and sister so that's great :)"

I never made up with him, mainly because he is a total asshole. He dated my best female friend, and treated her like shit. And also because he went to live to Barcelona, and that's like 2 hours away.

With my parents it's always been a hot and cold thing, but I've always had a good relationship with my sister. Today we've gone to see the last Harry Potter film and we commented that Fenrir Greyback is hot and Draco is handsommer than in the last film ;)


message 50: by [deleted user] (new)

Summer wrote: "Hahahaha!!! Mark's bio should come with a warning. While reading this material, please do not consume any food or drink, for you will spill them laughing."

Yes, it should ;-)


« previous 1 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
back to top