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message 1:
by
Lori
(new)
Jul 11, 2011 11:57AM
Tell us about your experiences as a gay or questioning youth in college.
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When I was going through Freshman orientation at college, there where 6 of us sitting at a table eating lunch. We were just having the usual kind of chat you have with people you've just met. I kept noticing this girl at the end of the table kept looking up at me and smiling. I just nodded back and finished eating. Afterwards when we got up to leave, she came over to me and introduced herself. Again, just small talk, but I could tell there was more going on.
Well, she asked me if I had a girlfriend, and I said, "No, just playing the field", and smiled. Well, she kept the conversation going but I didn't want to give her the impression that I was interested in anything more than just being friendly.
She started to give me her phone number, and I sorta said something like, "Uh, well, maybe we can talk more, I mean, it's nice to have friends and all." Well, I gagued by her reaction that I wasn't being clear enough cause she just winked at me. So, I said something like, "Well, uh, do you know if they have any gay groups on campus?" (I know, I was totally stumbling and blumbling, but I was nervous.) She paused and said, "Oh, are you gay?" I said, "Yeah." Then she said, "Really?"
Then I paused, trying to think if she was maybe gonna ask me to prove it or something!! I mean, how do you answer that?? So, I just smiled and said, "Yeah, really." She looked kinda puzzled and seemed like she was trying to think about what to say. I must say she handled it with style when she looked at me, smiled, and said, "Cool. I'd still like to be friends, though." I said, "Cool. Let me give you my number, too." We've been friends ever since.
Thorny wrote: "That's awesome, Troy!"it is is it not
Rogier wrote: "Thorny wrote: "That's awesome, Troy!"it is is it not"
So cool! Both you and the your girl friend.
:)
Poor girl, I understand why she tried to hit on you :D Good thing you got a friend out of it.
Yeah, she and I have been great friends the whole year. It's one of those friendships I think will (hopefully) last a lifetime. She's actually played a little matchmaking with a couple of gay guys she knows on campus. So, I've gotten some good dates out of it. And she and I are always hanging out together. People have asked us if we're dating.
Troy wrote: "Yeah, she and I have been great friends the whole year. It's one of those friendships I think will (hopefully) last a lifetime. She's actually played a little matchmaking with a couple of gay guys ..."lol really
Troy wrote: "Yeah, she and I have been great friends the whole year. It's one of those friendships I think will (hopefully) last a lifetime. She's actually played a little matchmaking with a couple of gay guys ..."That's cool, as long as your friend knows your tastes in men. I'm 19 and waiting for my knight in shining armor, but so far my friends haven't succeeded. Now that I think about it, I don't remember asking for their help...
Hellen wrote: "...so far my friends haven't succeeded. Now that I think about it, I don't remember asking for their help..."LOL, Hellen! Well, get moving and put the word out there! ;) Good luck!
Matt wrote: "Well, I started college today and gotta say it's nothing like high school. It really felt like mass confusion and over-stimulation on steroids! I'm under orders not to do any pleasure reading until..."Hey Matt - congratulations on your first day! What kinds of classes are you taking this semester?
Yay Matty! Congrats on going to college. I truly loved my college experience. I met some of the best people there. At one time, I was living with 6 other psychology students in a three story apartment. Best times! Stay dry and get out and explore!
University was one of my favourite periods, I hope you'll enjoy it as well Matt. :)
yeah it's pretty fun once you get past the fact that yes, you actually have to do work... haha Biggest difference from High School! XD hahaha
John wrote: "yeah it's pretty fun once you get past the fact that yes, you actually have to do work... haha Biggest difference from High School! XD hahaha"LOl that's true but at least for me it was way better since I could chose the things I wanted to study.
But this should be very different where you live I guess
Just don't do what I did...I got to college and a couple weeks in and tought, "Hey! I can choose whether or not I want to go to class...awesome!". Then I proceeded to go to the classes that interested me (the ones pertaining to my major) and skipped the rest. I still passed everything, but not with the flying colors of high school.
Aww man, it's rainy...I'm not going to classAww man, it's snowing...I'm not going to class
Aww man, it's too pretty to be in class...I'm not going to class
For every season, there is a reason!
8am class..... awwwww F@K! I'm going back to bed....
Lol, me too, to all of the above. Except, usually end up going,
I live literally 2 streets away from my uni.... so if I do end up going, it's only a quick 5 minutes of chaos before i'm there... :) and I can have my 5 coffees for the day :P
The first college I went to was a community college and we were on quarters, not semesters. I remember feeling that freedom to do whatever I wanted. I skipped classes, didn't take any classes some quarters, drop my class load other quarters, etc. Yeah...that and a change in major is why it took me 6 years to finish a two year degree. LOL
Matt wrote: "A stamp on your hand? Like a postage stamp? LOL. What's the stamp?"i'm 19 and nevr went in to club
lol
Can I tell a very very old college story??--had/have a friend Scott--lovely man--we used to sit in the CUB--our student union building and rate boys--no kidding--we would rate them on a scale from 1 to 10 and guess if they were gay--I will admit that Scotty then pursued and dated a few--me--I met hubby that way--no kidding--1st semester--Scotty and I were rating and in walks this tall, cool drink of water--6'1" 32 inch waist (and yes the boy still has a 32 inch waist) dirty blond hair that curled at the nape of his neck--little less of that now--but that's sexy anyway--and tanned--he was a cowboy--no kidding--worked a ranch--now he does stuff I can't talk about for the government and dreams of retiring to a small ranch one day.So yeah--even back in the late 1970's (I know, I know sweet boys you weren't even born yet) therehwere paces for gays--and places to boy watch!! THanks for letting me share my story!
Matt wrote: "Rogier wrote: "i'm 19 and nevr went in to clublol"
I'm 19, too. We went to this club in Rhode Island a while back and had to wear these yellow plastic wrist bands so nobody would sell us alc..."
lol . i reaslly dont like alcohol tastes like piss
not ihave evr tastes piss b4 lol
Matt wrote: "Sammy2006 wrote: "Can I tell a very very old college story??--had/have a friend Scott--lovely man--we used to sit in the CUB--our student union building and rate boys--no kidding--we would rate the..."same here
Matt wrote: "Sammy2006 wrote: "Can I tell a very very old college story??--had/have a friend Scott--lovely man--we used to sit in the CUB--our student union building and rate boys--no kidding--we would rate the..."Listen fellas--i had to fight Scotty for him--thank god he was only interested in a girlie--cause Scotty was and is quite a looker as well!
Brad wrote: "Hey Sammy! You need to write up that story and publish it!! LOL. Hi Roro!!"
hi glad u see u
Sammy2006 wrote: "Matt wrote: "Sammy2006 wrote: "Can I tell a very very old college story??--had/have a friend Scott--lovely man--we used to sit in the CUB--our student union building and rate boys--no kidding--we w..."lol happy 4u got a hold of him ^_^
Brad wrote: "Rogier wrote: "hi glad u see u"What you been up to lately?"
school midterms 2morro
latin america history n dutch
friday math/ dislike :(
ikr. ok got 2 goneed 2 study . whyyyy?
whyyy?! yyou need a job ha ha :)
awkard
c u soon
tnx u to/ don't do naughty stuff latrooh well youre a loud lol
byeeeee
I have to say i am pretty jealous. my gf and I attend a christian college and though it is liberal we seem to not be able to be open about being with each other. Once off campus its like a switch turns on and we can hold hands and trully be together. Crazy!!
Eleanor wrote: "I have to say i am pretty jealous. my gf and I attend a christian college and though it is liberal we seem to not be able to be open about being with each other. Once off campus its like a switch t..."Just be open. Ignore what other people think. Who cares? As long as you two are happy, that's all that matters. :)
My first time with a guy was in college. I had always questioned if i was bi or gay, but never had the courage to explore. One night i was really drunk and tried to sober up with a shower in the communal bathroom in our dorms. Another guy snuck in and took advantage of me being way to drunk to protest adequately. It was a little more forceful than that but i wound up really enjoying it
Ghetto wrote: "My first time with a guy was in college. I had always questioned if i was bi or gay, but never had the courage to explore. One night i was really drunk and tried to sober up with a shower in the co..."I guess as long as it felt safe - felt like you could have said no if you really meant it - then maybe that was the way your eyes were opened. I hope it was someone you liked afterward.
I wouldn't say I felt free to say no. But it did wind up opening my eyes
Ghetto wrote: "I wouldn't say I felt free to say no. But it did wind up opening my eyes"That's quite an experience to work through then - a lot of anger and an odd kind of gratitude maybe? Tough for a college kid even if it did move you forward in some ways.
I went to a GLBT-friendly religious college (yes, those exist!) and, while working on a mass comm minor, a gay male friend of mine and I were assigned to work on the production staff of a show that was basically a showcase for a fellow student's Glenn Beck-esque right-wing insanity. (We used to call him "Bill O'Really?"--eye-roll included.) After two weeks of sitting through his bigoted garbage, I went to the department head and demanded to know why he was punishing the two of us, who were both high-profile GLBT activists on a campus of ~2000 students, by forcing us to endure hate speech. I hated this professor & thought he was nuts already, so I went in loaded for bear. What he said next left me speechless (and I'm notorious for never giving up the last word & conducting 30-45 minute rants about Superman comic continuity):
"I'm not punishing you. I'm punishing him. I'm forcing him to look the two of you in the eyes every day so he can't forget that you are human beings, that you are *people* with feeling and emotions and hopes and dreams just like his. I chose the two of you because you are more mature, more compassionate, and more *human* than he can ever hope to be, and I know you both see right through his crap. I sent you in there because I didn't think you'd hesitate to speak up and make him treat you with the respect you deserve. So you officially have my permission to call him on anything you find offensive, and if he complains, send him straight to this office."
Wow, complimentary, but a little convoluted. It seems like a lot to put you through in the hope of changing one person with a pretty fixed viewpoint. Although maybe it would have a side effect on everyone else around you who might be more malleable. They might have compared the bigot and the LGBT and decided whose side they had more empathy with.
I went to college in the Deep South. I was just starting to come out. I got in touch with the head of the LGBT group on campus, but long story short, the head of the group and I wound up in bed together. We didn't stay together very long (as so many first...trists?...don't) and because of that, I really couldn't use the on-campus group for support for the next 3 1/2 years.
J - I'm torn... on one hand I'm sorry you lost the support but on the other that has the makings of a hot story.
Yeah, that's a real win some-lose some situation. You found someone worth being with for a while, but lost the support group. I hope it was a good first experience - that's worth a lot.
