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High School Experiences
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Lori
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Jul 11, 2011 11:56AM
Tell us about your experiences as a gay or questioning teenager in high school.
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Well, I met this guy today, and I thought he was gay, but I wasn't sure, and after school we were walking to Sonic. Once we got there I met some of his friends. They kept looking at me funny and eventually they asked him, 'Does she know?' And He looked at me and was like "Do you?" I was totally embarrased, and said, "Depends. Are you Bi, or Gay?" And he said gay and we kept eating. Is that weird? One of my other friends thought so, but it seemed normal to me
I think it's awesome that it was like, no big deal. That's the way it should always be. Good for you for not making an issue out of it.
It's been a while since I was there, but from what I remember, high school was weird. I think it's cool that you didn't make a big deal out of it, Marissa.
Well When I cam out I trusted 3 friends with my secret...one told my other friend who now hates me...one told his girlfriend and she told all her school friends...and one told everyone in her cooking class which is next door to my art class in the basement, 10 minutes later the whole 2nd and 3rd floor knew....now I have no friend...no boyfriend (Which I have never had anyway)....no people who respect me...but i'm up to my neck in homophobic asses
☯☮Bryen☮☯ wrote: "Well When I cam out I trusted 3 friends with my secret...one told my other friend who now hates me...one told his girlfriend and she told all her school friends...and one told everyone in her cooki..."Bryen, I'm so sorry that happened to you. High school can be such a harsh time, and it's hard to focus past it when you're there, but life past high school eclipses high school completely. I'm sure Lori will have some great advice and encouragement for you. Just hang in there. *hugs*
Thanks....I am just such an outcast...I'm going into grade 10 having never kissed anyone...and then Isee all the straight couples and I cry every day....I am the only gay at my school
☯☮Bryen☮☯ wrote: "Thanks....I am just such an outcast...I'm going into grade 10 having never kissed anyone...and then Isee all the straight couples and I cry every day....I am the only gay at my school"*hugs you* Is there any support group you can find near you? PFLAG? GSA? How about talking to your school counselor?
☯☮Bryen☮☯ wrote: "Well When I cam out I trusted 3 friends with my secret...one told my other friend who now hates me...one told his girlfriend and she told all her school friends...and one told everyone in her cooki..."Bryen. I'm sorry you are having a hard time. High school can be tough and people are sometimes so cruel. L.C. is right, there is so much more to life than high school. Hang in there! *hugs*
Bryen, trust me, you are definitely not the only gay guy at your school... I thought I was too when I was in highschool, so trust me you're defs not alone... It's usually after everyone graduates and move away to different colleges that people realise they don't have to impress anyone anymore and can just be themselves... I graduated in 2009 and since then a couple of guys from my grade have come out (unfortunately, i'm not one of them) and to tell you the truth, the people who are worth knowing won't care that you're gay... Yes, it's hurtful when people can't accept you because it's like they're insulting the very core of who you are... BUT and this is a big but, I always tell myself that they're one person among many and i'm not looking for they're approval - they may not like the way I am, but i'll come out better in the end because i'm not the one doing the hating... just something to think about... Stick it out because just as L.C said, highschool isn't the be all and end all... You'll turn up to your 10 year reunion to find that all the popular jock guys are just overweight alcoholics with stretch marks and a receding hairline and that you're much better off than them...
P.S don't feel bad, I'm 18, never had a boyfriend and never really been kissed... I'm not phased because I want it to be right - not just for the sake of saying that it's happened... it will happen eventually... :D hope i've helped man :P
*Waves* HI Bryen!! I agree with John, you are not the only gay student among the homophobic asses. You are just the only one who brave enough to be who you really are. I went to a redneck high school where there were several gay students out and a few more who felt more comfortable coming out later in life. I hope you reach out to someone if things become to much. High school life sucks! I wouldn't go back for anything. When the news settles, you will see who your real friends are. Hold your head up high!
☯☮Bryen☮☯ wrote: "Well When I cam out I trusted 3 friends with my secret...one told my other friend who now hates me...one told his girlfriend and she told all her school friends...and one told everyone in her cooki..."*HUGS* I'm sorry, Bryen! I agree with Thorny, though. If you're being bullied, verbally or physically, please talk to someone about it. I'm sure you are not the only gay student in that high school and hopefully others will come out soon, but even if they don't, keep your chin up, hon. High school can be pretty miserable, but it'll be over a lot sooner than you think. I hope along the way you develop some true friends who will stand by you and be there to support you. And remember you can always come talk to us here. :)
☯☮Bryen☮☯ wrote: "Well When I cam out I trusted 3 friends with my secret...one told my other friend who now hates me...one told his girlfriend and she told all her school friends...and one told everyone in her cooki..."Hey Bryen, shame that happened, mate.
Look at it this way - you lost a handful of untrustworthy 'friends', and by joining this group you've picked up going on 400 new trusting, like minded friends. Guys and gals you can talk to, share thoughts, rely upon, get to know, and become close mates, without any concern.
So when you're feeling down at school, think of your friends here, think of the support you have here. Always know you can come here for a chat.
Chin up, Bryen, you've got guts, and be assured, as the saying goes, 'it gets better'.
Hugs Bryen.
Hey Bryen - everyone here has such wonderful words to say to you and I agree with all of them. I just wanted to give you a (((((hug)))) and to let you know that it will get better. I was teased in school, not for my orientation, but for how I looked. It made school an awful place to be sometimes. This Saturday I'm going to my 20 year high school reunion. I have found that I like who I am now; my personality. I also realized that I wouldn't be who I am without the experiences of my youth, even though they were painful. So, I'm looking forward to seeing old classmates. Some might not accept me for who I am, see me as I was in school, but then others might have matured right along with me and celebrate who I am now and who I used to be.
Last night my younger kids (5 and 4 years old) went out to a Mexican restaurant for dinner. Across from us sat two high school guys. You could tell they were nervous. They finally get the nerve to hold hands with one another. I kept watching my girls to see what they would say, because they kept watching them. Finally the dark hair boy gets the nerve up to lean across the table and kiss the red headed young man. My four year pipes up and yells,"Ahhhhh, that's so cute." Bless those boys hearts they died laughing and seemed to relax a little bit. The red head leans over to me and says it was their first date and first kiss, and wanted to thank my kids for making it one they would never forget. Ahhh young love just makes my heart flutter.
Summer wrote: "Last night my younger kids (5 and 4 years old) went out to a Mexican restaurant for dinner. Across from us sat two high school guys. You could tell they were nervous. They finally get the nerve to ..."Oh Summer, that was fantastic. XOXO to your girls and to you! They are so young that only your attitude and influence could have caused that reaction. :)
Summer wrote: "Last night my younger kids (5 and 4 years old) went out to a Mexican restaurant for dinner. Across from us sat two high school guys. You could tell they were nervous. They finally get the nerve to ..."That's a lovely scene :))
Bryen I've just read this post now. I'm sorry for what happened to you, I hope you'll find better friends than those :)
Summer wrote: "Last night my younger kids (5 and 4 years old) went out to a Mexican restaurant for dinner. Across from us sat two high school guys. You could tell they were nervous. They finally get the nerve to ..."
Fantastic Summer...And like Sue said they have a great attitude because they learned it from you :O)
Fantastic Summer...And like Sue said they have a great attitude because they learned it from you :O)
Bryen, be aware there are alternatives to sticking with your school too. My daughters both ended up homeschooling and taking online classes because of issues with their high-school experience even though bullying wasn't a big part of it. They made friends outside of school at music and sports, and enjoyed classes, chose their curriculum and learned more. My oldest got early acceptance into college at good schools. I don't know your state regulations but there are often alternatives (here on-line public high-school classes are available free.) You don't have to survive four years in a painful situation if the adults around you aren't making it physically and emotionally safe. Real life happens outside of school and you get there however works for you. We're all behind you, you should know that.
I remember high school and also middle school being rough on me. I wasn't out to any of my friends until roughly end of eighth grade year start of my freshmen year of high school. I was accepted by friends, but that didn't mean I was out to my family. That didn't happen until I was 16. High school in all sense was where all the teasing began again.I wasn't out to the whole school, but it sure did feel like every one knew that I was bisexual. It made me feel weird because I got the weirdest looks from people.
I remember that people were so cruel to me that I dropped out of my high school just before the end of my freshmen year to go to an online high school. Worst mistake I made back then. Yet, it turned out for the better. I got my GED in 2009 after much fighting and arguing with my parents about staying in school. I didn't have to deal with any cruel kids anymore, but that doesn't mean I don't deal with cruel men and women in my life.
There are a lot of people out there that will be cruel and evil to you. Yet, there are a good deal more men and women who will understand and will help you through rough times. "You just have to know how to handle it and let it slide off your back like water on a ducks back." This is something I learned recently from my own men and have been putting that very saying to good use in many areas of my life.
I did have one girlfriend that accepted me in high school and we did end up sharing one very long kiss during her 10th grade year of high school. It was great and we are still very good friends.
Summer wrote: "Last night my younger kids (5 and 4 years old) went out to a Mexican restaurant for dinner. Across from us sat two high school guys. You could tell they were nervous. They finally get the nerve to ..."Aww, that is adorable!
Kat wrote: "I remember high school and also middle school being rough on me. I wasn't out to any of my friends until roughly end of eighth grade year start of my freshmen year of high school. I was accepted by..."Hi, Kat! I'm also bisexual, and I've known since I was eleven. I wasn't out to anyone until way after I started college, though, and I'm still not out to most of my family. I'm glad that you had at least one person who accepted you in high school, though I'm sorry it got so bad you felt you had to drop out. That really saddens me. :/
It all worked out though for the better. Thank you Harper. Most tend to judge me though so I just try to let things slide. Now that I am getting ready to pick the college I want to attend it's a bit like bouncing around in my seat.College though is one step I fear taking as well so I don't know if I'll take that step this year or next year. I still got a few months before I decide if I am really truly ready for college.
What saddens me about dropping out of school was I made my parents disappointed in me. Mind you I've always been a disappointment to them, but still I gave them one more reason to add to my tally sheet.
Seeing as my family knows about my sexuality doesn't help to much either. Scary thought is. My mother and my sister that is just a year and three months younger than me came out about liking women as well. Oh around the same time frame as I did. It was kinda like I set something off. LOL hard to admit that it freaked me out.
Summer wrote: "Last night my younger kids (5 and 4 years old) went out to a Mexican restaurant for dinner. Across from us sat two high school guys. You could tell they were nervous. They finally get the nerve to ..."Totally made me tear up, Summer. :)
Woo!!!!!! I just helped my debate teacher hang a giant rainbow flag in his classroom!!! It's so pretty! I can't stop grinning!
So guess what!!! Last Saturday I went to Queer Prom at the Urah Lride Center!!! It was so much fun!!!! I went with one of my lesbian friends and my straight cousin. He didn't dance at all, he just kind of stood next to me in sunglasses with his arms crossed and looking very much like a bodyguard. It was kinda funny when guys would hit on him. He had no idea how to react. I got a few phone numbers (yay!) and a wicked awesome pride bracelet!
Kit wrote: "So guess what!!! Last Saturday I went to Queer Prom at the Urah Lride Center!!! It was so much fun!!!! I went with one of my lesbian friends and my straight cousin. He didn't dance at all, he just ..."Sounds great, and I'm impressed your cousin went anyway. So nice there even is such a thing as Queer Prom, although someday it will be just part of regular prom. One step at a time.
Kit wrote: "So guess what!!! Last Saturday I went to Queer Prom at the Urah Lride Center!!! It was so much fun!!!! I went with one of my lesbian friends and my straight cousin. He didn't dance at all, he just ..."Very cool!! SO glad you have a good time!
AWESOME Kit. Yay!! Sounds like it was heaps of fun :D
That is so cool Kit! I'm glad you had such a great time:)
Appauling.Two guys seemed interested. one was my best friend. I liked them both. I flirted openly with them both. One slept over. He turned out to be a total lying m***her-f***er.... Grr. And he's still avoiding me. But had the bloody cheek to email me to ask if I had any jewelerry he could have to give to a girl (Who I discovered today is his girlfriend. -_-') And he wonders why some people are so ambiovelent around him... At my sleepver, he was the gayest of the gay.
The other guy held my hand, complimented me often, and, as soon as I told him I liked him, promised not to tell anyone. BOOM! The next day the whole flaming year knew.
A word of advice; trust no-one; I wish I'd remained a closet case. And never told either of the guys.
Alex wrote: "Appauling.Two guys seemed interested. one was my best friend. I liked them both. I flirted openly with them both. One slept over. He turned out to be a total lying m***her-f***er.... Grr. And he'..."
Aw, Alex. I was hoping the avoiding was winding down.
But if you'd stayed in the closet you would still be hung up on those two guys, neither of whom turns out to be worth your time in a romantic way. At least you are free to look around and if there is some other closeted guy there he knows who you are.
((hugs and best wishes hon))
Kaje wrote: "Alex wrote: "Appauling.Two guys seemed interested. one was my best friend. I liked them both. I flirted openly with them both. One slept over. He turned out to be a total lying m***her-f***er......."
If only. He followed myself and my friend (Chris) around, trying to find out why I'm annoyed with him; then he left after I crafted a lie to deny it; I'm sorry but I just can't speak to him. It's too difficult, and too akward- he seems to want a friendship, but I'm unsure if I do... And he's also very near-then-far, if you get my drift...
Alex wrote: "Kaje wrote: "Alex wrote: "Appauling.Two guys seemed interested. one was my best friend. I liked them both. I flirted openly with them both. One slept over. He turned out to be a total lying m***h..."
His middle name is either Confused, Ambivalent or Oblivious. Or all three.
I don't think I want to speak to him... I've bloody got an hour sat next to him tomorrow now...
Aw Alex! I hate to hear that things didn't turn out like you wanted. To be honest, I think you should be proud you came out of the closet. In all honesty, I think he is jealous of you. You are this free spirit, you aren't afraid to be yourself. You are who you are. He, for some reason can't free himself of his fears. I feel bad for him, he is stuck not knowing how happy he could be if he only allowed himself. You are a beautiful person. Don't let this get you down. Your strength and love is amazing to watch. ((HUGS))
Kit wrote: "So guess what!!! Last Saturday I went to Queer Prom at the Urah Lride Center!!! It was so much fun!!!! I went with one of my lesbian friends and my straight cousin. He didn't dance at all, he just ..."Glad you had such a good time Kit!!
Lot's of hugs for you Alex! You are a wonderful person sweetie and anyone who is actually worth your time will instantly see that.
*Cuddles* to Alex. I love you sis, don't let them get the better of you. <3Blergh. Got outed by some friends at school today. Nobody gets what pansexual is, so all ICT I had people being dumb and all like "So, you like pans or something?". NO!! I DON'T!! -.- It really does my head in. Today - my ICT class. Tomorrow - probably the whole frickin' school.
Lizzie wrote: "*Cuddles* to Alex. I love you sis, don't let them get the better of you. <3Blergh. Got outed by some friends at school today. Nobody gets what pansexual is, so all ICT I had people being dumb and..."
That's tough, sweetie. People are so ignorant. You don't have a duty to educate them, so your call if you ignore, explain, or just cut corners and say it's the same as bisexual. Or scam them and explain your lifelong affection for a stew-pot. No, better not; they're to dumb to understand sarcasm. Best of luck tomorrow though.
Kaje wrote: "Lizzie wrote: "*Cuddles* to Alex. I love you sis, don't let them get the better of you. <3Blergh. Got outed by some friends at school today. Nobody gets what pansexual is, so all ICT I had people..."
Haha! :') "Yeah, okay, I admit it. My frying pan is so damn sexy. We're gonna get married some day, and have little frying pan kids."
Although, the people that outed me decided to say in the ICT work that i'm married to Alex. It was kinda funny.
Lizzie wrote: "Kaje wrote: "Lizzie wrote: "*Cuddles* to Alex. I love you sis, don't let them get the better of you. <3Blergh. Got outed by some friends at school today. Nobody gets what pansexual is, so all ICT..."
We make a happy couple- Lizzie, I love you so much I want to *whispers dirty things about Kane instead* ;)
Just found a short film Silver Road on YouTube {http://youtu.be/bq4UOMtpaWY}. It is well worth the watch. The blurb is as follows:Two young men, best friends since they were little, have lived their whole lives in an isolated farming community in Ontario, Canada. They come to a crossroads as one of them decides to leave their home for a better life in the big city of Toronto, Ontario. Hidden longing, secrets, and truth coming pouring out as these two friends face the reality of the new paths they are about to embark.
how can we trust anyone in here anyway
Cindy wrote: "how can we trust anyone in here anyway"what do you mean?
thanks Gavin I will check it out!
Cindy wrote: "how can we trust anyone in here anyway"Remember, this is a public group - we're friendly, but anyone can read what you write here.
Hi guys! I'm having some problems at school with friends and my sexuality and stuff. A lot of the kids in my year aren't trusty so I'm scared if one of my friends let it slip that i'm bisexual. Some people have doubts because I celebrated spiritday. What should I do if they go and tell anyone else???
Adeela wrote: "Hi guys! I'm having some problems at school with friends and my sexuality and stuff. A lot of the kids in my year aren't trusty so I'm scared if one of my friends let it slip that i'm bisexual. Som..."That's a tough position to be in. It's good to think about it ahead of time, so you aren't caught by surprise. If you have a close friend you trust, who knows the same people, it might be good to talk it over with her/him. Hopefully the whole qustion won't come up until you're ready to tell people, but if it does, you can try to change the subject and not discuss it, or you can say no, or you can own it. You should do what feels right to you, and safe, and comfortable. And think about who might support you if you decide to come out, or how you can make it less stressful.
There is no one right answer. With some people, even flat-out lying about it can be the right choice. If there's a teacher or counselor in your school that you trust, having an adult who will support you is helpful.
I wish you all the best of luck, and hope that you find less stress and more support than you imagine.
