ROBUST discussion

Editorial & Beta Reading > Beta Reader for Paranormal Romance?

Comments Showing 1-25 of 25 (25 new)    post a comment »
dateDown arrow    newest »

message 1: by K.A. (new)

K.A. Jordan (kajordan) | 3042 comments This is the book I'm finishing up - the last edit is in my hands - and I need some feed back.

Anyone interested? You can email me at if you are interested in the finished copy OR you can follow this link to get an idea of how it's written first.

Sometimes it's better to look before you volenteer to read a whole manuscript.

June called down the moon to find her one true love. A motorcycle from hell dumped Eric on her doorstep.

An accountant for a failing company, June longs for true love. In a Wiccan summoning ceremony, she swallows the moon in an effort to find her soul mate. What she gets is Ohio National Guardsman Eric Macmillan, who owns a cursed Suzuki Hayabusa and two spirits: DEA agent Jake the Snake, and the malevolent stripper Cora Cobra.

Back from Afghanistan, divorced and un-employed, Eric is the third owner of a Suzuki Hayabusa. The other owners are dead, just not departed. He's looking for the artist who created 'Cora's' snake-inspired paint job. When Eric arrives at the scene of Jake's last sting, on a one-of-a-kind motorcycle, all hell breaks loose – someone tries to kill him.

Van Man Go is the world's greatest airbrush artist. He will repaint Eric's Hayabusa, for the usual price. Like Cora Cobra and Jake the Snake, Eric must put his soul up for collateral. Cora and Jake failed to pay their debts, now the devil wants his due.

Somebody's going to pay, and pay very soon. Who will it be?

Care to take a ride on the Hayabusa from Hell?

message 2: by Andre Jute (new)

Andre Jute (andrejute) | 4851 comments Mod
Holy shit! This is ROMANCE, 2011 style? Why has nobody told me?

message 3: by K.A. (new)

K.A. Jordan (kajordan) | 3042 comments What???????

I'm confused.

message 4: by Andre Jute (new)

Andre Jute (andrejute) | 4851 comments Mod
Your description wasn't what I expected from "romance".

I've just caught sight of "paranormal romance". Ah.

It looks most amusing.

message 5: by K.A. (new)

K.A. Jordan (kajordan) | 3042 comments Paranormal Romance isn't all vampires - though ghosts aren't what a trade publisher would buy.

I thought it was a catchy blurb.

It does have a bit more action and less sex than your 'average' romance. But it was fun to write, there are a few really emotional parts, some creepy scenes, two chase scenes.

I can't write syrupy stuff - so I don't try.

I'll send you an ARC - when it's done.

message 6: by Patricia (new)

Patricia (patriciasierra) | 2388 comments Just from the blurb, I'd guess that you're putting your work in the wrong category.

message 7: by Andre Jute (last edited Jun 30, 2011 07:31AM) (new)

Andre Jute (andrejute) | 4851 comments Mod
Thanks for the promise, Kat. Sierra has a point. Doesn't Amazon have an ACTION COMEDY Paranormal Romance subdivision?

Comedy, or parody, as a primary classification also seems good to me. There's definitely a parody subdiv; the Robuster P. J. Jones publishes in it (can't remember the name of her book, but go search for the name of her lead, called Flabio).

message 8: by K.A. (new)

K.A. Jordan (kajordan) | 3042 comments No sub-categories. Paranormal Romance is tolerant of action scenes.

There isn't parody in this one. It's straight-up romance, just more Gothic/Urban Fantasy.

I followed all the tropes, like a romance writer, because I thought I'd sell it to Harlequin. But I like it too much to make it fit the HQ 'Voice' and then sell all rights for $4k.

There are some horror elements, some thriller scenes, some creepy characters. Best of all, it's the first book in the 'Dark Habor' series. All set in my old home town to give it a really vivid backdrop.

I can't help the fact that I'm a bit distainful of the 'one true love' and 'soulmate' issue. But it gets the MC into trouble, and works fairly well.

The first couple of chapters are here on Goodreads.

message 9: by K.A. (new)

K.A. Jordan (kajordan) | 3042 comments OHSHIT - I just figured out why you mentioned parody and comedy. I make fun of the 'rules' of writing romance while writing a straight up romance.


That's going to get me into a lot of trouble.

message 10: by Andre Jute (new)

Andre Jute (andrejute) | 4851 comments Mod
See, the less intelligent people are, the more seriously they take themselves. If you make them feel stupid or, worse, that you're making fun of them, you can't sell them anything. Ask me, I know all about hiring wonderful writers who couldn't resist showing off, and therefore would never make advertising copywriters.

message 11: by K.A. (new)

K.A. Jordan (kajordan) | 3042 comments Andre Jute wrote: "See, the less intelligent people are, the more seriously they take themselves."

I've seen that in action - all the time. ;-) All over the internet.

Something to be more careful of in Book #4, as it is too late in the first 3 books.

message 12: by K.A. (new)

K.A. Jordan (kajordan) | 3042 comments 'Swallow the Moon' is now complete!

I'm just starting to feel excited about the massive amount of work that I finished and the massive marketing job ahead of me.

I'm working on my press release today.

Any brave souls want an ARC? I'm looking for reviewers and reviews.

message 13: by Claudine (new)

Claudine | 1110 comments Mod
I'll volunteer. I don't like romance so beware! Paranormal is like fantasy right? Maybe not so much Tolkien or Paolini or Martin but a bit? Hopefully? :D

message 14: by K.A. (new)

K.A. Jordan (kajordan) | 3042 comments It IS a romance. The setting is contemporary, almost Gothic in it's moodiness. A paranormal has a fantasy element, in this case, a wiccan and magic, ghosts and demons.

I'm a light touch with the romance part of the plot. It shouldn't be too bad. LOL

Send me an email here: and I'll send you a pdf.

message 15: by K.A. (new)

K.A. Jordan (kajordan) | 3042 comments Claudine - did I see somewhere that you read Anita Blake?

Oh dear - you are going to be bored to death!

message 16: by Claudine (new)

Claudine | 1110 comments Mod
Yes, I just finished the 20th book. My first series of paranormal romance actually! So far, not bored at all with yours. But you will have to wait for my review ;)

message 17: by K.A. (new)

K.A. Jordan (kajordan) | 3042 comments Is she under paranormal romance? I thought she was urban fantasy.

Gee, I was hoping to get a hint (JK) - as long as you aren't bored, I'm pleased.

message 18: by Claudine (last edited Jul 16, 2011 11:30PM) (new)

Claudine | 1110 comments Mod
I have no idea what category her books are in. There's loads of weird sex so maybe she falls into both? I must admit, I really enjoyed the first few books, the ones in the middle got weird with all the sleeping around and multiple partners but the last book gives me hope. There's a serial killer obsessed with Anita and he's been bitten by a werelion....I like serial killers with a fetish and this guy is a walking fetish :D

Here's the review, I will post it wherever I am able to.
Ghosts, Wiccans, demonically possessed motorcycle, true love.....
I don’t read romance novels. I don’t read paranormal romance novels. When the author asked for readers to review her paranormal ghostly romance, I thought what the hell the worst is that I could positively hate it right? Well I was pleasantly surprised. While the romance genre is certainly not something I will actively read, it’s not half as bad as I thought it would be.
The story centres around June, a Wiccan accountant at a failing company looking for her soulmate, and Eric, a troubled Vet who saw action in Afghanistan. He returns home after his second tour of duty to find his marriage over and his life in tatters. The lab he works for closes just as he purchases a motorcycle. From Hell. The ghost of the first owner, a woman called Cora Cobra, hovers in and around the motorcycle. Eric is hooked the minute he sees it and buys it from a widow whose husband, an undercover Narc, died when losing control of the motorcycle in a bend in the road. Jake’s ghost haunts the motorcycle too but he is trapped, unlike Cora's ghost. She's evil. Eric and June meet one night when he is driven off the road by men in an SUV right outside of June’s home. She calls the police and an ambulance after they drive off, unable to find Eric and make sure he is dead. She keeps the motorcycle in her garage for Eric, who is taken off to hospital to patch him up. Over the next few days, he stays with her while looking for Van Man Go, the man who painted Cora’s portrait on the motorcycle, and recovering from his injuries. He wants to restore the bodywork. June senses the ghost of Cora around the motorcycle, she feels the evil in it. And then there’s that instant attraction going on between them. And what’s up with the ghostly visits in her bedroom? And the roses he keeps leaving?
Overall, a good read, for the paranormal genre. While it doesn’t inspire me to go out and buy more of this type of book, it was a pleasant change from my normal reading list. I will however make sure to find other books written by the author.

message 19: by Claudine (new)

Claudine | 1110 comments Mod
Oh there were also a few minor mispelled words. I forgot to make notes of them though but will pass them on in the coming week if that is ok?

message 20: by K.A. (last edited Jul 17, 2011 07:14AM) (new)

K.A. Jordan (kajordan) | 3042 comments Sure - you can email them directly to me.

Glad you liked the story. It was a hoot to write!

I don't understand how the copy editor could have missed...oh...are these words misspelled, or is it the language difference between the US and the UK/AU/NZ?

message 21: by Claudine (new)

Claudine | 1110 comments Mod
It might be? I remember one of them was Jun instead of June. The others were very very minor from what I remember. Maybe two or three in total?

message 22: by K.A. (new)

K.A. Jordan (kajordan) | 3042 comments Oh - good - I can stop panicking now. LOL

message 23: by K.A. (new)

K.A. Jordan (kajordan) | 3042 comments Thanks for posting the review.

I'm having serious problems with my email. Not sure what's going on. So if you have already sent the typos, I didn't get them.

message 24: by Claudine (new)

Claudine | 1110 comments Mod
No I haven't yet. Yesterday was chaos, first day back at school after a 3 week holiday.

message 25: by K.A. (new)

K.A. Jordan (kajordan) | 3042 comments Good - I can't seem to get goodreads to send email either to my 'junk' address or to my 'pro' address.

I wonder what happened to the junk address?

back to top