MNN: Keeping the underinformed perpetually so

[Cynthia]

Mrs. (I can pray away the gay) Bachmann just stepped out of the race.

[Jammies]

Quick, Cyn-I can pray away the Republican-thia, get a sob story and a quote from Mr. Bachman about he's always supported her!

[Cynthia]

Sorry Jammies, no can do, Marcus is simply a puddle of emotions right now. I have the journalistic ethics not to take advantage of his vulnerability at this tender moment.

Besides, Marcus is in an important meeting with his hairdresser/manicurist and is not making any public appearances for the foreseeable future. He's just contacted the Iowa State Fair chefs to have some of their delicious corn dogs FedExed to Minnesota.

[Jammies]

Woman, what are you doing with journalistic ethics whilst in the employ of a cable news network? Does Misha know about this?

[Phil]

Sure, but who really pays attention to people east of the Cascades?

After all, they're the goons who kept electing Skeletor to the senate way back when.

Senator Skeletor

[Cynthia]

Jammies wrote: "Woman, what are you doing with journalistic ethics whilst in the employ of a cable news network? Does Misha know about this?"

Jammies. The Journalistic Ethics are a recent purchase. I bought them off a guy in a Ford truck. Don't tell Misha.

[janine]

Sounds like dodgy ethics to me. No extended warranty, I presume.

[Cynthia]

Well, Shit. I already rented the damned Hummer to take me out to New Hampshire. The driver, Juan, is super-cute, too. So you mean I'm not covering the race in New Hampshire? I already have a deal set up with Huntsman and his gorgeous Ralph Lauren-wearing family!

[Cynthia]

*returns sketchy journalistic ethics for refund, mails check to Misha*

[Jammies]

*pulls up in a truck, offers Cyn a deal on BurroChow™*

[Jim]

Why don't you just offer her a ride, you must be at least half way to NH from Iowa.

[Cynthia]

Yeah sis, I could really use a ride right about now. Next, I'll have to sell my soul in order to pay my rent. Grumble.

[Jim]

Cynthia wrote: "Yeah sis, I could really use a ride right about now. Next, I'll have to sell my soul in order to pay my rent. Grumble."

I just happen to have a golden fiddle I'll trade for that soul of yours.

[janine]

Some advice: http://youtu.be/TgvMlo1ai2E

[Jammies]

I can't give you a ride, I have to be back in the newsroom by 3:30 EST to fill in for Misha's hairdresser and makeup artists, but I'll give you some free BurroChow™.

[Cynthia]

Misha wrote: "Cynthia wrote: "Yeah sis, I could really use a ride right about now. Next, I'll have to sell my soul in order to pay my rent. Grumble."

We're a news outfit. We hocked your soul a long time ago."

Well speak for yourself, missy.

[Cynthia]

janine wrote: "Some advice: http://youtu.be/TgvMlo1ai2E"

What a lovely song, J.

[Cynthia]

Jammies wrote: "I can't give you a ride, I have to be back in the newsroom by 3:30 EST to fill in for Misha's hairdresser and makeup artists, but I'll give you some free BurroChow™."

Wait a minute Jammies--You mean Misha's got her own hair and makeup people? I had to borrow Calista Gingerich's makeup ladies the other day! No fair!

[Jammies]

No, Cyn, Misha had her own makeup people. They quit when they discovered they were being paid in BurroChow™. Where did you think I got a truckload?

*gets the makeup kit*



Whoops, as white as that is, it's probably Santorum's.

[Cynthia]

HA!!!! Pass me that spackle, girlfriend! I've got a few enlarged pores that need some filler.

[Cynthia]

Thanks! Good idea. I've got some concrete mix in the garage, I'll combine them for that fine, high-cheeked booty. *checks phone book for butt implant surgeons*

[Phil]

I found just the surgeon for you. Check her out.

[Cynthia]

Phil, I am NOT clicking. How goes the puke-fest??

[~Geektastic~]

Cynthia wrote: "Jammies wrote: "I can't give you a ride, I have to be back in the newsroom by 3:30 EST to fill in for Misha's hairdresser and makeup artists, but I'll give you some free BurroChow™."

Wait a minute..."

And I bet you're still trying to get the industrial strength hairspray out of your hair.

[Cynthia]

Right. Not to mention the spray tan.

[Phil]

Cynthia wrote: "Phil, I am NOT clicking. How goes the puke-fest??"

The puking has ceased! Long live the non-puking!

I kept Jr. home again today so he wouldn't have any chance of picking up another bug before he's back to full strength. Mrs. Phil is still out of town but sounding much healthier and happier.

[Cynthia]

Oh thank God.

[Cynthia]

Oh hell. There goes my ride. Guess my shopping trip to Tiffany's with my new BFF Callista is off.

[Cynthia]

Cool Misha! *Waves at the Ron Paul Crazy Train!*

[Phil]

Ask him about Maine. Looks like he might be the winner up there.

[Jim]

Can you cover him with a blanket, and maybe tie the ends shut?

[Phil]

Hehe. I like that suggestion.

When I read Misha's post I thought it said she was coveting Newt.

Ick.

[Phil]

Misha wrote: "Ick.

TWSS"

Yeah, to Newt.

[Cynthia]

Jim wrote: "Can you cover him with a blanket, and maybe tie the ends shut?"

That is an excellent plan. Oh, and while you're at it, send me some of Calista's jewelry. She knows it would look better on me anyway.

[Phil]

I thought god is on his side. You'll have to count on someone else.

Hmmm, who could it be?

Do you think... maybe...?

Could it be.... S A T A N??

[Phil]

All hail!

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

Misha wrote: "Santorum tomorrow. God help me."

Bring wet wipes.

[Cynthia]

Misha, will you be wearing a sweater vest?

[Jammies]

Cynthia wrote: "Misha, will you be wearing a sweater vest?"

She's the head of MNN, not Bill-freaking-Cosby! :p

[Cynthia]

Oh aren't you the classy one?

[Susan]

::taps screen, twists knobs on set and adjusts bunny ears::