File Under: Misc.

[Jason, Walking Allergen]

Jim wrote: "Happy first birthday to Margot Alluisi!!!



... who I'm sure is already reading this and rolling her eyes at my crappy syntax and misuse of punctuation. *sigh* Editors."

She already has an Elaine Benes like hatred for exclamation marks.

[Dave Alluisi, Evolution of the Arm]

Thanks! I'll pass along the birthday wishes when she's up from her nap. She'll probably just look at me like "Shut up and feed me, idiot," which is about par for the course, but if she has a different reaction I'll let you know.

[Jeppe]

Happy birthday, Margot!

[Jim]

Dave, sounds like you're already used to that "You, sir, are an idiot" look from your daughter. Congratulations, you're way ahead.

I actually said these words to my wife tonight while discussing our eight-year-old-but-going-on-16 li'l angel:
"Well, she's not... pure evil."

[Jim]

That moment when you see the ad for this thing, described on a "sponsored" Goodreads/Amazon link as "Bugs Bunny with guns and a penis." What the fucking fuck.

[Matt, I am the Great Went.]

Male rabbits have penises!

[Jason, Walking Allergen]

They're even famous for them!

[Jeppe]

Wait, Bugs Bunny doesn't have a penis? Poor guy!

[Jason, Walking Allergen]

It's the reason he calls everyone "doc." He's searching the world for a surgeon who can do genital reconstructive surgery.

[Robert]

And "what's up?" would be a euphemism then?

Just another reason to love those old Looney Tune cartoons.

[Robert]

I may have found another meme for Matt to soil.

[Dave Alluisi, Evolution of the Arm]

You know, what's the point of distinguishing yourself as an individual? When all that's going to happen is that your work and/or personality, which you worked SO HARD to cultivate, is just going to be co-opted by some soulsucking corporate ad campaign during a fucking playoff football game? Mozart? Fuck you, we need to sell Hondas. Da Vinci? Fuck you, Windows needs a cutesy ad campaign.

Sometimes I find my own species so disgusting I root for the second ice.

[Matt, I am the Great Went.]

I keep waiting for Jason to comment on the fact that I discovered that moderators can change each other's titles, but I should have known he's like some god damned camel when it comes to stuff like that.

[Dave Alluisi, Evolution of the Arm]

Found this nifty composing software and have been writing songs for the piano all week. Very short pieces, all under 2 minutes, and all inspired by my day-to-day life with my daughter. I've already got 7 finished pieces since Saturday and am working on an 8th. It's probable that none of it is any good, but I find it's much harder to hate myself or anything else when I'm creating, so there's that.

[Jason, Walking Allergen]

That's great, Dave. I don't think I knew that you guys had a piano. Or are you using software?

I hope you get back to writing at some point, too, but any kind of creative expression is a positive thing.

[Dave Alluisi, Evolution of the Arm]

We have a piano, which is where I hack out the germ of the ideas before finishing it on the software. I'm still in the nascent stages of learning and can't play for shit, but if I were to hand the transposed music to someone who could play I think it'd occasionally be pleasant, maybe.

[Robert]

I find any creative outlet or exercise to be to necessary in my daily routine.


*Goes to typewriter and begins typing "Jack's a dull boy" for the umpteenth time*

[Dave Alluisi, Evolution of the Arm]

Ever have a Goodreads friend you kinda want to unfriend (however you do such a thing) because all they read is shit?

And you kinda want to let them know as you unfriend them, "Hey! You're embarrassing yourself for all the world to see! All you read is SHIT! I'd beat you to death with the shitty books you read and put your unimaginative brain out of it's idiot misery but they're all mass market paperbacks and that's fucking impossible! I hope you have a great fucking time being part of the downfall of literate Western culture, you lazy, soulsucking fuckcrutch!"

Nah, me neither.

[Robert]

I didn't think I made my to-read list public, Dave?!

[Devin]

*whew* For a second, Robert, I thought he was talking about me!

[Dave Alluisi, Evolution of the Arm]

From what I've experienced, anger is the easiest to wield and sharpest weapon in any human arsenal. Especially mine. Sorry.

And no, I wasn't thinking of either of you when I wrote that. Though, if I were, I'd expect and deserve nothing less than you telling me to get fucked.

[Dave Alluisi, Evolution of the Arm]

I don't usually like "That moment when..." posts, but here goes.

That moment when you wake up, look at the clock, and think, "If it's 9, why's it still dark out?" And then you realize you've still got a full night ahead of you.

Wheeeee!

[Robert]

Yeah! More pizza and bourbon!

[Robert]

You put the lime in the coconut. . .

[Dave Alluisi, Evolution of the Arm]

I'd just like to share this actual book cover photo. Which now you can't unsee.

[Robert]

You're right, Dave, I can't undo what you did.


May Ted Nugent take residence in your sack.

[Dave Alluisi, Evolution of the Arm]

My sac is an impenetrable fortress. Even for the likes of the Nooge and Chuck Norris.

It may, however, be haunted by the ghost of Wesley Willis.

[Robert]

Sounds like a lovely place then.

[Dave Alluisi, Evolution of the Arm]

Oh yeah, it's the United States of Tara down there.

[Robert]

And now I'm annoyed again.

[Dave Alluisi, Evolution of the Arm]

Dave Foley, Relatively Well. Watch it, obviously.

[Jason, Walking Allergen]

Occasionally, instead of blabbing about books other people wrote, I write something of my own. If you're interested:

http://bylinezine.tumblr.com/post/777...

[Dave Alluisi, Evolution of the Arm]

Good on you, my man! Can't wait to dig in.

[Robert]

I share Dave's sentiments.

[Dave Alluisi, Evolution of the Arm]

Really great piece, dude. Loved it. Fascinating and unique subject matter presented in a strong, confident voice. And the writing is ACE. Well deserving of publication. Proud of you, brother.

[Robert]

I just tweeted, (twitted?) Jason how I feel he has great observation skills and knows how to share them quite effectively.

[Jason, Walking Allergen]

Thanks a lot, guys.

[Matt, I am the Great Went.]

Jason wrote: "Thanks a lot, guys."

I read it, too, and was impressed, but more in a jealous and mean-spirited way, so I was not going to praise your concise, insightful prose...butthole.

[Jason, Walking Allergen]

Hmm... it's possible that I feel the same way about reactions to my own writing as I do about things I read: strong reactions are good, be they positive or negative, and always preferable to apathy.

So, thanks Matt!

To amend my thanks to all who read the piece, and especially those who had kind words about it: today ended up being a shitshow, and it does make me even more grateful for the friends I have, and the support they give me.

[Richard]

Enjoyed reading your work, Jason, original and sincere. I hope you'll write more about spiritual journeys.

[Jason, Walking Allergen]

Thanks for reading, Richard. :)

[Matt, I am the Great Went.]

I am your Leland Stamper, Jason.

[Devin]

Great article, Jason. You are one talented sumbitch.

[Devin]

Also: today marks the 20th anniversary of the death of Bill Hicks. The man was a legend and a groundbreaking comedian who influenced every thought-provoking comedian currently performing. I miss him every day.

[Robert]

Too true, Devin.

[Jeppe]

Good stuff, Jason!

[Robert]

Well, I'm not sure if I should bother any longer.

Find It in Everything

[Jason, Walking Allergen]

Thank yew, Devin.

And thank you, Jim Burton, for sending me my very first Bill Hicks CDs last year.

[Matt, I am the Great Went.]

SELF-PROMOTION: We have a riff (w/ movie included) available at Rifftrax: http://www.rifftrax.com/iriffs/thats-...
Check it out and spread the word. Thanks!

[Jim]

Seconded on Devin's Bill Hicks tribute. Very few have picked up the torch he carried so brilliantly. Lee Camp comes close by making the audience think while they laugh, by mocking political absurdities and more importantly, the ass-backward system that makes them possible. No material about shrooms, though.
The Hicks doc "American: The Bill Hicks Story," is still available on Netflix, and I highly recommend it. Hicks's discography is also available in many venues, notably iTunes.

You're welcome, Jason. Always happy to spread the love.
And belated congratulations on your outstanding "Roads Less Traveled." Thoughtful and well-observed. Just great stuff.