Love With The Lights Off discussion
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How far is too far?
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Jaimey, The Other Queen
(last edited May 23, 2011 06:14AM)
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May 23, 2011 06:09AM
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While none of our books are by any means graphic (in our opinions, of course), some of them do contain certain words, actions, or behaviors that make them fall into a sort of limbo. In fact, we don't even have a word to describe this limbo except to say it falls somewhere between clean and graphic.
Then Linda suggested it was like writing a love scene where the door is open but the lights are off. You know what's happening but most of it is still left to the imagination.
So tell me, where do you draw the line?
Tough call. Graphic can be so subjective in writing. For my writing, I draw the line at naming body parts below the waist and positions for love making. I'm sure I have some other sub-concious rules I've never thought about but take into consideration. Curious to see what others have to say!
Hmmm..Beth is right tough call..I prefer when the author lets you know whats happening,but leaves the rest up to my imagination. I dont mind the naming of body parts as long as its not over done and carried out in very graphic detail.Describing the "love scene" with foul language is a big turn off for me.Where do I draw the line? When the love scenes get OVERLY desciptive or *ahem* "kinky" Im out of my comfort zone!
I totally agree with Sandi. I am uncomfortable with LOTS of descriptions, and, yes, "kinky". I don't want a pornographic description in my mind's eye. And I definitely don't need it going on for pages and pages.I like Jaimey's description of a love scene with the door open. Sexy, romantic, intimate, well, I will just leave the rest to your imagination :)
And I agree with you Pamela..some of the books out there today...the "love scenes" in some books go on..and on and on..85% is in the bed (and or other places) sometimes Ive skipped all those pages,found not much left of the book and oh..the story? was there one?A little ol'fashion "hard to get" & "courtship" THEN
some "spice"( with the door open)keeps me into a book alot longer.
Definitely I do NOT want porn type descriptions. But a bit of touching, etc. does not turn me off. If a book is nothing but sex, I do not read it, but I want and prefer my lovers to be married. yes, I am old fashioned that way.
Fluids! Seriously! That grosses me out and will turn me off. Sounds strange, but it does. I don't think it's necessary.
To me it depends on the storyline a bit. There are of course things that don't float my boat, but other than that I'm pretty lenient. If the main characters are rockstars, tattoo artists or so, I actually kind of expect a bit more (and therefor wouldn't mind a few scenes that are a bit more graphic) than I would if the main character would be a minister or so (in this case more graphic scenes would feel a lot more weird and unconfortable for some reason)... =oD
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That doesn't sound strange at all (at least to me) and I TOTALLY agree!
It's too graphic when the love scene is mainly the dirty words for the body parts, and the f word seems to predominate. I definitely don't want to see anything non-vanilla in my love scenes (kinky). For me, the focus should always be on the connection between the couple (emotional expressed in the physical).
Lady Danielle "The Book Huntress" wrote: "It's too graphic when the love scene is mainly the dirty words for the body parts, and the f word seems to predominate. I definitely don't want to see anything non-vanilla in my love scenes (kinky..."Totally agree with you Lady Danielle on all points!
I must be really really tired-I saw the word graphic before I read many comments and thought "comic book"? I recall reading a popular Christian romance and at the end the woman disrobes and walks across a freshly plowed field to show her husband she was coming home to him and giving him herself...that bothered me a LOT. Mostly because A)disrobing from a pioneer dress is not that easy B)her feet must have been bleeding by the time she reached him and C)It was a bit unexpected. Scenes, graphic or not, need to be realistic. And most graphic are NOT.
Kristen wrote: "I must be really really tired-I saw the word graphic before I read many comments and thought "comic book"? I recall reading a popular Christian romance and at the end the woman disrobes and walks a..."I am in a similar situation, in that the word "Graphic" for me always meant extremely violent, a lot of sex, gore, etc. I had no idea that Graphic to some meant a comic book.
Of course the writer you referred to may have been trying to emphasize a point. don't forget, writers have freedom to write what they want unless they are writing a bio.
I know which one you mean, Kristen; that's my favourite book. The ending was kind of strange though. I get that she might be comfortable with the concept...but really, walking naked through the field, when for all you know your neighbours might be visiting soon, to prove that she's given him herself, when her presence would do just that anyway?I prefer them to be married also Anne, though I've ended up accepting that they are generally unmarried and just knowing that I would never personally do that.
Jasja wrote: if the main character would be a minister or so (in this case more graphic scenes would feel a lot more weird and unconfortable for some reason)...
Lol, infinitely more so.
I don't like dirty talk and I don't like to read where the body parts below the waist are center stage.
Graphic novels are super popular for kids, Anne. I recall as a young one reading Herge's Tin Tin...these are NOTHING like those! There is one called Maus about a survivor in a German concentration camp.
Kristen, I have Maus, 2 volumes, bought them sometime back in the 90's. Good read,
Jaimey wrote: "Everyone has a different opinion when it comes to the meaning of clean vs. graphic in a romance. What do you think? How far is too far in a love scene? Where do you draw the line? "
For me, teenagers under 18/ teacher romance novels. I'd say whatever your comfortable with! Be yourself, that's what romance is all about. GLBT, erotica, contemporary, it's all about what you want in a novel. Personally I love all romance except minors/ adults going at it. That's all I gotta say :)
For me, teenagers under 18/ teacher romance novels. I'd say whatever your comfortable with! Be yourself, that's what romance is all about. GLBT, erotica, contemporary, it's all about what you want in a novel. Personally I love all romance except minors/ adults going at it. That's all I gotta say :)
As a Christian, I draw the line at erotica, vivid descriptions of sex, and sex outside of marriage. As far as GLBT goes, I will put the book down the minute that appears. I do noy mind a gay character, but leave it at that.
I don't read erotic stories or even same sex stories. I know some authors have a homosexual character in their book and I might read something they have said, as long as they aren't in a same sex scene as in a scene with the person they are supposed to be with. I skip scenes like this.
I skip over graphic sex scenes, usually. I have written a man and woman in bed, but non sexual, cuddling, mostly for comfort.I do not read erotica.
As a new romance author, I've put some thought into this and recently wrote a post on what my writers can expect from me. I've got children that want to read my novels one day, so I have certain lines I won't cross. My main characters will have sexual morals, and there's no profanity. Does that mean it's all nice and clean? No, there's fighting, death, and some heated kissing scenes. However, the hands stay above the waste, and I keep the attention on how it makes her pulse race, etc. I think the worst thing I typed during a kiss was that it sent shivers throughout her entire body. Hands still pull her in closer or even shove her into a wall, but no sex lines are crossed.
I don't like to read graphic scenes either; what is important to me is the chemistry and interaction between the characters. A lot can be left up to the imagination, especially if feelings and emotions are described, rather than actions.
Actions between lovers don't need to be explicit...the imagination of the reader should be able to decide the details.
