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Week 81- (May 19th-May 26th) Stories --- Topic: Reflections DONE!
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by
M
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May 19, 2011 06:42PM
Something tells me Jason's going to find somebody else to date before long, but not before Tracy gives him a real fright. Good story, Mark!
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By Paul, word count 667 LIKE BROTHERS.
We were like brothers when we younger. Always together playing and talking wild stories like most kids our age.
That was before he changed.
I remember the first time that his temper took over and he become twisted with hate toward life. I was eight or nine I can’t remember exactly but what I do remember was the fight between my parents. Dad was stripped to the waist, his trembling hands swinging a half empty bottle of scotch as he punched the screaming frail woman we called mum.
That was when I saw him out of the corner of my eye with an axe. I can even remember the splinters of wood stuck to the rusted blade. That was before the warm blood was flowing down the metal handle, and Dad lay like a lump of cattle at the local butcher’s shop.
But that was a long time ago and even now he still following me.
I know he’s here, somewhere in this place I now call home. He scares me, causes my skin to sweat, my blood turn to ice. The last time I saw him was last Thursday, just after I had my morning shower. I was enjoying the hot water bouncing of my body when I saw his evil eyes watching from the steamed up window.
Has he no respect for my privacy? Luckily I was wearing my Simpson boxer shorts, the ones my mum brought when I was eighteen.
I really want my life back; I really want to be free of his malevolent presence. All my life he’s followed me, causing me trouble, raising mayhem, making me take the blame for the problems he causes.
I’ll tell you how bad it’s been for me, how he’s ruined my life. I had a lovely job, nothing special, but I enjoyed it, working at a pub behind the bar. But he ruined it for me, him and that temper.
I was in the toilets, when a burly biker came in, all thick leather and even thicker insults. I could handle it, after all people have been calling me names all my life. But no, he had to wade in like an angel of mercy and stab the biker with a vicious knife. Oh, the blood it sprayed over me like a fountain of warm strawberry milk. When the police arrived he was gone, like a shadow in a moonless night leaving me trying in vain to pump the life back into the biker.
It was good for a while. I was free when the courts put me into a special place for people like me. They told me it was for people who are followed by nasty devils who try to wreck their life.
But then he found me again. It must have been a couple of weeks later and there he was once again, watching me with eyes as cold as chips of ice. He smiled his teeth all jagged and yellow and I knew I was doomed. They must have caught up with him for the murder. It was just my luck I was going to share the time in the special place with a murdering fiend.
Yes, I know he is here somewhere. I can almost taste him, the smell of stale sweat and desperation is almost overpowering.
‘I think that is enough for today, Tony.’
‘Has he gone for good?’ I ask the Doctor.
‘I doubt he’ll ever be gone I’m afraid, Tony.’ A tear falls from my eye as the Doctor pushes back the chair.
The salt of the tear stings as I wish I had my hands free to brush it away. But the Doctor informed me that the strait jacket and padlock’s were merely a precaution against him and his violence. As he leaves I glance up and see the face smiling back in the mirrored window. His reflection nods, and then winks. He’s always been there for me. Strangely he’s in a straitjacket too.
The description is so good, it's like watching a movie! Chilling, and with a perfect ending. Have you been reading Al's stories?
Gosh Paul thats amazing the character is so real, the writing has a great sense of maturity and pace... The dialog is just right... a couple of questions; I think "he become twisted" was suppose to be "he became twisted"..? anyway blah blah - that was just the time issue no doubt.. thanks for sharing
OMG Paul, I thought it was his brother! Until what the doctor said! great, great work!!!! I love how youve mixed similes. Like... comparing blood to a fountain of warm strawberry milk... something ugly with something that usually brings good thoughts. great writing, loved the storyline.
The Results:1st place Paul
2nd place Mark
