Random Thread of Naughty Thoughts Showing 1,201-1,250 of 7,100

[Darla]

Yay! Thanks all!! I'll probably be doing my happy jig for a good month.... This was the best diet I've ever been on.... I lost 215 lbs. of worthless meat in one day.... ;)

[Jackie]

LOL...Darla a big congratulations on losing all that weight!

Fiona, I hope you are in bed dreaming of your Mr. Rochester.

[Petra X]

Darla - taking out a hit on my husband reminds me when he did that on a persistent thief. He had him beaten up as the police wouldn't do anything. (The thief who was plaguing the town had a brother and sister in the police force of this little island). So I wouldn't really mess with him. But I did enjoy the thought and support.

Emilee- I am sorry. Mine has been going on for 16 months now... no end in sight. You have the protection of American laws though. I have none which is why I've been separated ten years without support or a divorce. My husband is from the top political family on the island and not all of them like me at all. (Luckily the most influential ones do). So I have to put up with nothing and getting nowhere.

Ok whine and rant over.

Virtual chocolates to everyone for putting up with me. http://edp.org/bin/Cygnes.jpg

[Daybook]

Nice chocolates. Sorry for all of you going through divorces.

[Jackie]

Petra that's a crazy situation you are in! Does that mean you have to wait until he decides he wants to get a divorce?

[Darla]

Damn it, Petra. I hate it when my evil genius is thwarted. Now I have to start all over again. And trust me, I really am an evil genius. Just ask me. :)

[Petra X]

Yes, I waited 10 years Jackie. Didn't cause waves. I wanted my son to be part of the family because a) its family and they do rather love him and b) the amount of influence the family wields, not just on the island, will be useful to my son in lieu of the fact I haven't got any money.

If I thought evil genius would help I would have got my mojo working a long time back. But you know, I sit and suck it up and eat chocolates!

[Jeane]

We will have to start having virtual parties! let's start with one for Darla!!!!! Oh no, the image i got: having all a party for Darla and we sit in sofas all reading a book and not talking.... sorry

Fiona, stretch your neck! Might help. Since it gave me back my life I thnk stretching is good for everything! :-)

what are Doilies. It felt like I was reading abook in a foreign languages and not understanding the word and being too lazy to look it up, but of course the word came coming back and I didn't follow the story anymore.

[JG (Introverted Reader)]

Doilies. Some people find the little lacy things useless and others think they're beautiful. But it seems like people who love them have waaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy too many of them.

[Jeane]

Thanks JG, I know them! Luckily the people I know who like them have only a couple and they use them in a different way than Fiona her mom does!

[[deleted user]]

So I logged off to read & it takes forever to catch up.

Fiona: out in US we call that pack rats. My parents are pack rats, glad I have my own house. Though I am really bad when it comes to books, quilting & scrapbooking. Not as bad as my folks.

Darla I love the worthless meat. I am going to borrow that!

Petra: Sorry. Divorce sucks anyway especially because a lot of men are more concerned about their money! They don't like to share or put in their part! Sounds like the Island just doesn't have laws.

Doilies all over that's funny! I had a neighbor growing up who had them all over. It was too much. One or two could be nice. But when they are on every free space, couch, sofa ect a little over done. It is said "Less is More."

[Petra X]

If you ask people in the UK what is a doiley, I think everyone will tell you its a pretty paper mat placed under cakes and sandwiches when company is coming to tea.

The proper name for the doileys draped over chair backs is actually antimacassars. They were developed in Victorian times to stop the macassar hair oil that men wore ruining the furniture.

Emilee there is law on the island, in fact its quite a law-abiding place, but as with anywhere its who you know. On a small island the effects of that are much greater and known by more people than in a big country.

[Jeane]

Whover decides to examine Emilee's bookshelves: take the day off!!!!! Just watched 94 pages and I am not even finished! Break, fire place, reading...

[Laura]

Good luck to you Petra w/losing your worthless pounds of meat!

And thanks for the chocolates!

*takes one, dips it in c.c., and moves on to next thread with a BIG smile*

[Petra X]

Thank you Laura. I'm going to check out Emilee's books right now.

[Petra X]

Emilee's profile is private so I can't check out her books :-(

[Jeane]

Fiona, join the club: I'm never going to marry either!!!

The problem with Fiona not being on here when I am on is that I am wondering if she is okay because she isn't on and I keep scrolling up and down and renew the page to see if she is getting on!:-)

...and then she comes on when I am gone and goes when I get on....

[Laura]

You guys are so funny. I am with you, Fiona, I had a small wedding. Would have skipped graduation too. You are so different, and I really have the urge to pet your owlish head and coo to you a bit.

*whispers: keep your head still and let me pet!*

(Loved the Hen party, too, is that what you Brits call Bachelorette parties?)

[Jeane]

haha, I knew it! But at 7pm here I can't stay on: I hear someone calling everybody with'mangiare'!:-)
Ate too much. Now, didn't eat too much it was just heavy.

[Jeane]

Poor Fiona, I went, sat there with a two friends lsitening to all the marks, go to the station, meet suddenly my ex-boyfriend after three years, be home, wonder:what now? and life just went on. Still didn't go to get my definite paper showing a graduated!

Nobody is allowed to do anything to me after this, but didn't go for the paper but because I thought the course was interesting..... maybe that's why I still didn't get the paper...graduated in...2001.

[Jeane]

Fiona, I meant that i knew you would get on when I was gone. And you see, i got on and you stayed five minutes!!!
Little Dorit???????

[Petra X]

I had a lovely wedding. My soon2BX's family wanted a huge wedding - take over a marina or a private island etc. Not for me. So we got married under an arch of purple and white flowers just after dawn in the Botanic Gardens. There were butterflies everywhere. We phoned the family from the airport before we went on honeymoon. Our mothers were ok but no-one else was much. Lol. Still it was a lovely wedding. I wish the divorce was.

[Jeane]

It was a stupid waiste of money for me: paying a return ticket from where I lived till Ghent just to get a paper that says you graduated but wasn't the real paper and then just went home again..... I so hope I ahd a book with me!

Do believe me: I was going to leave. For no reason at all I feel down.

[Kellie]

Update on the shuttle...
Here we are in Cocoa Beach. Went to the Beach and then the pool.
Now we are in our room resting before dinner.

We can see the launch pad from the beach.
It's an awesome sight.
We will probably go to the beach tonight to see it under the lights.

The weather here is gorgeous. Low 80's and bright sun!

[Laura]

Tube, TV, or even boob tube is what my dad always called it.

[Laura]

That's cute! I never thought of it that way. He always thought almost everything on TV was crap. Which it wasn't then, but pretty much is now.

[Laura]

You're right, Heartbeat sounds right up my alley. I'm sick of dumb comedies written for dumb people and all the sex talk sex talk. Why can't people just go get some and leave TV out of it.

BAH

[Laura]

Oh Fiona. Frasier is my favorite. I still watch the re-runs! I also like Friends, Seinfeld. Cleverly written & acted. They don't make them like that anymore.

The only comedy we watch now is the Office. I liked it lots better in Season 1 & 2. It's still ok, but too much crudeness. That really turns me off. Unfortunately, it must really thrill others, because they keep slapping the same old sh** on again and again.

Please please can I have a good comedy, US TV? No. More like poopy comedy.

:(

[[deleted user]]

Okay all, I have tons of books in my house. I moved from the West Coast to the East Coast 7 years ago & have about 50 boxes of books that I've read & not added to my GR shelf yet. I am missing my old books. You'll all know when I get the Uhaul & bring them home.

Okay & there are masses of posts! Oh how to keep up.

I so love the phrase "losing your worthless pounds of meat" I am so sharing with all my friends who are divorced or getting divorced!

After my picking a poor choice of Hubby, I absolutely love being single. I don't think I'll ever remarry!

Oh yes because of the hubby-is why I'm private!

I didn't realize it was 94 pages of books however. Just know i better live a damn long time to finish the books I want to read!

[[deleted user]]

Graduation was a total bore. Granted I only went to my HS Graduation. I didn't go to the College Graduation. I just wanted that expensive piece of paper!

[[deleted user]]

I love PBS because they have great fun shows. I absolutely love "Are you Being Served?" Then their is the Dead Keepers-cool documentaries. I am so weird!

I don't watch much TV I would rather watch Movies. I still watch Lost & Heros but that's about it.

I do love "So you think you can Dance?" Anyone else out there love that show! Mary Makes my just crack she is such a hoot! I so want to take a dance class from Mia Michaels!

[[deleted user]]

Okay, I am all alone on TNBBC. I will just have to ramble on & on. I should go throw something in my mouth since I need to run my kids all over the place tonight.

Okay so I'm logging off. I'm going to read & eat then drive & read & drop kids here & there & everywhere. Oh if only my kids were old enough to drive themselves!

[[deleted user]]

I didn't go far really! I'm still here!

[[deleted user]]

I concur TV is turning to crap!

[Laura]

I'm back.

The early Frasiers were the best, Fiona, but you really should get the rest & watch them. I wish I owned them, I'd send 'em across the pond, just so you could enjoy. Library has 'em tho.

Yes, I was talking about the American Office. But I do think the British version is supposed to be better - I've heard that.

No Life on Mars. That's just what my household feels like half the time.

I watch a soap - Young & Restless. Been on forever. Never heard of yours.

[Kellie]

Tell me about Blackadder.
One of my bookcrossing friends had that name and I had no idea what it was.
I believe she lives in UK
Now, it makes more sense.

[Petra X]

Hi there Eagle Eye. I like weird humour but I don't like Rowan Atkinson. His face creeps me out. Last year I sent away for the full series of Fawlty Towers and I love it as do all my British friends and some of my American friends but all my West Indian friends think its boring.

[Petra X]

I don't find it boring, I said my West Indian friends do. But what you say reminds me of something that happened a few years ago.

A hotel with a big open covered area decided to have screenings (on a really big screen) of Fawlty Towers at happy hour on Thursdays. The British laughed before the jokes, saying to each other (just like you) its the German one, and 'there's the rat'. The Americans tended to laugh in the wrong places, not quite getting the joke. The West Indies just came for the cheap beer and made a load of noise at the back. Used to be fun though.

I don't like Mr. Bean, its just something about Rowan Atkinson I don't like.

[Laura]

Still Bookless in Mount Airy

:(

:(

[Laura]

I am reposting one of Fiona's classic funny moments to make myself LAUGH while I am currently BOOKLESS

1. I am cold.
2.a I wish people would stop peeing on toilet seats. Especially women, why do they do it? Are they not sitting on the seat in fear of germs jumping out and biting them in the butt? Well you're only spreading more germs around by PEEING ALL AROUND THE TOILET BUT NOT IN THE FLAMING TOILET.
2.b. Please place poo in toilet as well. Not on. And then do not tread it around the ladies toilet as well.
3. Someone is playing music so loud outside and I cannot hear myself read. Why can't these people just go read a book?!
4. It's colder in my room then it is outside.
5. Mum must be feeling exceptionally guilty about dino as she has (to my shame) cleaned my pig sty of a bedroom out. It was beginning to grow feet. I was going to do it this weekend...
6.a. Customers. I volunteer in a charity shop within a hospital. One woman came up today and wanted us to just change - didn't want to buy anything at all - a twenty pound note for the car park. I think she was slightly peed off cos I'd given a lady a twenty pence pieces in exchange for a pound. But there is a huge, huge, huge difference between one pound and a twenty pound note. We are not the bank. We are not the post office. We do NOT provide a change service. So I politely told her that the only way I'd change it would be if she actually bought something with it. Not that I'd have been happy either if she'd bought the cheapest thing in the shop like some people do. But I would have changed it. She went of complaining. Oh well. Tough luck. We are a charity for the hospital. We provide money for medical equipment, and other hospital equipment like furniture and the like. We are not YOUR charity. Charities do not just give money to people. We are not a free service. We do not change twenty pound notes into change because we are poor and we don't have any change. Especially not coins. Who did she think she was? So she scowled at me and complained and I gave her the "I do not care" look and shrug and she went of moaning. Well moan yourself silly woman. You know you have to pay parking in hospitals. Bring change with you. Keep change in car for such purposes. Buy something. Do not stomp off in huff looking at me as if I'm a Scrooge.
6.b. Stop putting dirty spoons in with clean spoons because then all the clean spoons become dirty. How bloody hard is that for people to get? Do. Not. Put. Used. Spoons. Back. Into. The. Same. Pot. You. Get. It. From. It does not require brain power, it just requires common sense.
6.c. We do not provide table service. Bring mugs back.
6.d. There is a bin by the side of your feet. Put rubbish in there and not on floor or leave it all over the bloody counter for me to clean up. Especially when it is sugar. Put sugar in your tea. Not on my counter. It is annoying. Don't do it.
6.e. Whilst I will always be polite to you, do not expect me to go out of my way to help you or make you a nice cup of tea if you are rude.
7. I love customers.

[Laura]

Should I also post this in the LOL Funny thread?

I am LOL REALLY LOL Oh and I needed this too!

[Laura]

Are you kidding I pasted it to a Word doc. so I could read it whenever I needed a laugh.

[[deleted user]]

I'm back just ran the kids all over.

They have Bleak House at the Library. I'll have to check it out!

[Laura]

Did you read Fiona's classic random post, Emilee?

[Laura]

It was A Dirty Job that I read. First and only Moore. I think Lori likes Lamb.

[[deleted user]]

I like Mr. Bean!

I also love the Flying Circus & all the Monty Phython Movies. I actually own all the movies! I think the The Meaning of Life is Great! Love it!

[Angela]

This was a post by Charity that had me LOL and I do not even have children!


BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN

Pregnancy:
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

Preparing for the Birth:
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month

The Layette:
1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?

Worries:
1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing

Pacifier:
1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

Diapering:
1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

Activities:
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.

Going Out:
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

At Home:
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

Swallowing Coins (a favorite):
1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!

Charity-hope it is okay if I repost this because it is too damn funny to sit in an old thread!

[[deleted user]]

Yes, I heard her random post. Fiona is lol love! She could heal the world!!!!!!!!

[[deleted user]]

I do love that post from Charity!

[[deleted user]]

I come back & everyone disappears.

This is Emilee babbling to herself again. My dogs are so loud! I don't know what has gotten into them tonight.

Can I just say I hate driving in the big city when stupid drivers cut you off on the tollway driving 35 MPH in a 90 MPH lane (Okay the legal speed limit is 55 but who in Chicago drives 55??? Who I ask?????).

Okay so my big problem is that I have a lead foot.