Would you want to be Matched?

[Bridgette]

It seems that most of the young adults who are of matching age are thrilled with the prospect of their future mate; would it be easier to have the person that you are a perfect complement to, both physically and emotionally, be handed to you in a silver box?

[Bianca]

I don't know if I would like this or not. Being matched to someone who fits you perfectly would be easier than having to go through the whole process of dating. You wouldn't have to go through a million people to find the right guy either, but what if the one you are matched with isn't right. Sometimes it's good to have an adventure and experience hard break. Stepping out of your comfort zone and being with someone can be fun. Yes, being matched to some one who is is a perfect complement, both physically and emotionally, would make a great partner. But, doesn't mean that you will love them. They can be great friends and you still don't love them. Sometimes learning for yourself if a person is right for you is better then just knowing. Love is something that is special I believe, not something that can be planned.

[Miss Bookiverse]

I think the concept of getting matched sounds convincing. I mean, they're not forcing you into anything, they're trying to give you what's best for you but of course I also think that you can't calculate love. Just because someones is said to fit to you emotionally doesn't mean that's what you want in a person (wait... it actually does, doesn't it? The Society knows even that!) or that you - like Bianca said above me - will fall in love with that person.
Still, I like the idea of getting matched, it sounds so logical.... and I liked that you get to have a choice, you can also do free dating in the Society.

[Bridgette]

You are not really forced, but that is only because you have the option to be a Single or to enter the Matching Pool. Once you are Matched, you are going to spend your life with that person. They are not really given any dating time--they can meet up during rec hours, but those are monitored--there is never really a moment that they are alone.

I think that in the Society, so much is based on the science and logic behind emotion, yet aren't our emotions exactly the opposite? They (the Officials) give the perception of free will, but in the end they control even that by entirely limiting their options.

[Gabry]

I think the concept of being Matched, giving the details that were not mentioned in the book, about LGBT would be difficult if you were in that society and happened to be LGBT. But that's all I can think of when it comes to the matching process, personally I'd like to have the matching process be like Delirium and such.

[[deleted user]]

How can you know that the guy is perfect for you if you haven't dated any losers first to compare him with you.

Science can predict who we may be perfectly matched with. But there is no science yet that can match a persons feelings. That is what makes us different than animals - our brain can reason, imagine, and create.

[Tatiana]

It's an interesting question. There are still cultures where marriages are arranged. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. As I am now, I wouldn't want anyone pick a life-long partner for me. But the way the matching process is written in this novel, it doesn't sound particularly menacing or oppressing.

I read the novel a while ago, could someone remind me why exactly are meetings between Matched teens are monitored?

[Miss Bookiverse]

I agree Tatiana, when I think of forced marriages in different cultures I recoil from it but the way the matching - which is really not much different, except that you can choose to be matched or not - is presented in the book makes it sound like such a harmless, well thought-out thing.

[Tatiana]

Considering how excited everyone was about matching, I just couldn't bring myself to be truly horrified by it.

[Ashley]

I think that the whole "Matching" system is quite ingenious, really, especially the way Condie executes it. Like Tatiana, I couldn't find myself horrified by the thought of being Matched. Rather, I felt intrigued by the idea.

Sure as hell would make blind dating a lot easier, at least.

[Martha]

I have to say that my first instinct was to say no. But considering how the matching is done, all the things that are taken into consideration I can't help but think it may be a good idea.

The process by which a person is matched is set so those particular individuals are guaranteed to have the greatest happiness. So this part at least helps in trying to convince me but as seen in the book it's not always a perfect system. I can't help but think that perhaps some of the couples matched may have been happier with someone else.

[Bridgette]

The exception of course is that no one is Matched that would potentially stir up trouble, such as an Aberration, such as Ky.

[Paige]

I wouldn't want to be matched, because what if you hated the person you're matched with and had to stay together forever? I would hate that! I read this book already before I joined this group.. its just okay..

[Miss Bookiverse]

The question is if it's even possible to hate your match.. and if you do I think the Society would notice and do something about, wouldn't they? There's this phase in which you get to know your match after all, it must be good for something.

[Bridgette]

I wonder what would happen if your Match were to prematurely die? It seems that because the Society feeds you and everyone is in optimal health, there does not sound like there is much disease--do think people can be Matched a second time? Do you suppose that if someone was unhappy in such a way that they were causing a stir the Society might slip something into their food to control the behavior?

[Danae]

i would love the idea of being matched perfectly to someone. it would take out all the other experience i had and have to go throught looking for the right person.i guess i find i generally a whole lot "cleaner"

[Miss Bookiverse]

Interesting questions, Bridgette.
I think the Society would totally slip "something" into people's food if they don't behave properly. But if you got matched and your spouse dies in a matter of 3 or 5 years for example, I think you might get the choice to be rematched... but you shouldn't be too old or it gets creepy because most available-for-matching-people are quite young... or they'd make you swallow the red pill :P

[Tatiana]

Bridgette wrote: "I wonder what would happen if your Match were to prematurely die? It seems that because the Society feeds you and everyone is in optimal health, there does not sound like there is much disease--do ..."

Good question, Bridgette. I never thought of it myself. Do people get Matched second time? Or maybe they are allowed to make their own choices?

I also think that rebels would be drugged or disposed of if they create trouble.

[Natalia]

My free will and right to choose want to say it's a terrible idea. Just because someone fits those descriptions doesn't mean you'd be in love with them. On the other hand, I do think sometimes that it would be nice not to have to worry about it and to know that my Match will be just as interested in me as I would be in him. But in the end, my romantic side wins out. I want love to find me and I don't think that's possible with the Match system.

[Sarah]

I kind of would because they fit you perfectly, but on the other hand I am a girl who still believes in her fairytale ending; by just finding your soulmate and if that was taken away from me and I couldn't do that or am limited to only those hundred books I don't know how I would survive.

[Catherine]

No, I would not want to be matched. Being matched to a "perfect" mate is only part of the bigger picture in being "matched" in all other parts of your life: job, living area, nutrition, age span, recreation, etc. That kind of control by a governing body over my life is unacceptable.

[Natalia]

I think Catherine makes a good point: being Matched is just part of a whole structure set up to control people. The Society tells you that so-and-so is your perfect Match, but how would they know? Or rather, how do you know it's even true?

[Grace]

How many people in our society find their mates through the online dating sites such as eHarmony and Match.com? If you believe the ads for those sites, the couples are deliriously happy because the process of matching uses sophisticated algorithms to analyze applicants' profiles and pick the best matching profile.

In this book, the Society has just gone a bit further by gathering data on everyone from the moment they're born instead of using a questionnaire to prepare the profile. This should actually make the matching process more reliable.

[Grace]

Infinite Playlist wrote: "I agree Tatiana, when I think of forced marriages in different cultures I recoil from it but the way the matching - which is really not much different, except that you can choose to be matched or not..."

I think there's one big difference between arranged marriages in our world and the matching process in the book. The criteria used to pick a mate for one's child usually have little to do with the child's happiness. Quite often mates are chosen based on economics - for example, how large a dowry does the future wife have. At least in the book, matches are selected based on who would be most compatible or complementary.

[Miss Bookiverse]

Good point, Grace, I guess this explains why matching feels morve positive to me.

[[deleted user]]

I wonder exactly how many people that are "matched" using dating services are still happily together? Is there a study somewhere that has looked into this? Do people that are matched using a dating service in a happier relationship than those who didn't?

And I agree about society using matching as a means of control. What is to say that the society decides they want more children with blond hair and blue eyes so "matches" the right people based on those qualities? Just like before?

[Angie, YA lovin mod!!]

Infinite Playlist wrote: "I think the concept of getting matched sounds convincing. I mean, they're not forcing you into anything, they're trying to give you what's best for you but of course I also think that you can't cal..."

I thought though you could only be matched with who they pick. If you chose not to marry that person you have to be single. You can't chose someone else. right?

[Angie, YA lovin mod!!]

Gabrielle of Gnomes wrote: "I think the concept of being Matched, giving the details that were not mentioned in the book, about LGBT would be difficult if you were in that society and happened to be LGBT. But that's all I can..."

OHHH! Good point. I hadn't thought of the LGBT community. It isn't even covered at all in the book. I suppose you would chose to be single and then try to find people similar.

[Angie, YA lovin mod!!]

Tatiana wrote: "It's an interesting question. There are still cultures where marriages are arranged. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. As I am now, I wouldn't want anyone pick a life-long partner for me. B..."

I am not sure why the meeting are monitored? Maybe because they are still under age... I think you are matched at 17.

[Angie, YA lovin mod!!]

First off this whole match society make me wonder is there divorce? I mean maybe people get matched and never break up. But isn't this how it was in America in the 40s & 50s? People just stayed married unhappy?

I guess that being Matched sounds so easy. I mean someone picks your partner for you and they have all kinds of things already in common with you (though it sounds like there is no recreation anyways) so I don't know how people can't have stuff in common. But dating can be so hard, but then again that's how you discover who you like.

There was a good point up above about if a Match dies young. It sounds like this society tries to do whatever it can to keep people alive but what if someone falls down the stairs just perfectly. I hadn't thought of that.

I love the points above too that even though you are with your perfect match you still have to make it through everyday things. Some days are boring in marriage and some days are great. There are ups and downs.

Speaking of relationships I still can't believe people are just killed off at 80. I would hate to be matched with someone I knew was going to die before me because they were older then me.

[Bridgette]

Pretty sure you can't choose someone else--that would defeat the purpose I think of what the Society is trying to do, plus it would kinda make the whole set up between Cassia and Ky a moot point.

If you want a dystopia with a choice, that would be Delirium, but it isn't perfect in their society either since people are not quite as brainwashed as they seem to be in Matched and can make a choice to commit suicide. Maybe something like that happened the first time Cassia's burrow had to take the red pill.

[Angie, YA lovin mod!!]

Bridgette wrote: "Pretty sure you can't choose someone else--that would defeat the purpose I think of what the Society is trying to do, plus it would kinda make the whole set up between Cassia and Ky a moot point.
..."

I can't wait to find out about the first time the red pills were taken!