Twilight
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Vampires don't sparkle.
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Library Lady 📚
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rated it 2 stars
Jun 08, 2011 08:23AM
wait, did the hard as a rock, cold as an ice cube really make anyone want to snuggle? SM did not make her vamps cuddly, that's for sure!
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Maybe they varnish themselves, you know, like those body builders before a competition. YuK!
Lena wrote: "wait, did the hard as a rock, cold as an ice cube really make anyone want to snuggle? SM did not make her vamps cuddly, that's for sure!"And yet it's a love story! WTF? Can you imagine sex with a vampire like Edward? Ouch, frostbite! How would you explain that to a doctor?
Okay, I know I'm always the one who brings up inappropriate stuff like live sperm, but if vampires are hard as marble...are they, you know....always hard?I think SM talks about how bella has to wrap in several blankets to avoid edward's frigid body. kind of makes the whole skin-to-skin contact really unsexy.
Molly wrote: "Lena wrote: "wait, did the hard as a rock, cold as an ice cube really make anyone want to snuggle? SM did not make her vamps cuddly, that's for sure!"And yet it's a love story! WTF? Can you imagi..."
All I can think about now is a warm tongue on a frozen pole. Or a Tori Amos song. Icicle, icicle, where are you going...?
Tee-hee
C.D. wrote: "Molly wrote: "Lena wrote: "wait, did the hard as a rock, cold as an ice cube really make anyone want to snuggle? SM did not make her vamps cuddly, that's for sure!"And yet it's a love story! WT..."
Oh my god, that is the funniest thing I've ever heard! Yuck!
And it seems to me that a marble-hard icicle appendage would hurt really bad, you know? Can't imagine that to be sweet and cuddly at all. Brings a whole new meaning to the words 'disco ball,' though, doesn't it?
Lol...laughing so hard! Disco balls. very sparkly. i had never thought about that aspect...maybe she could name her next novella 'disco balls and the silver bullet.'
Lena wrote: "Lol...laughing so hard! Disco balls. very sparkly. i had never thought about that aspect...maybe she could name her next novella 'disco balls and the silver bullet.'"Indeed! Wow, the more I think about the details of Edward, the less romantic and more ridiculous Twilight seems to me
I always wondered about the obsession w/ sexy vampires. I mean, they're dead guys. Is that really sexy? Necrophilia, anyone? Not only that, but every time Bella had to lay her head on Edward's granite chest, I was like...ouch. I'm not sure laying my head on a cold rock would in any way arouse me. No matter how sexy the rock was, lol.
But then I got caught up in the hype, so...I can't really say anything! LoL
Lena Hillbrand
The Superiors
Nick wrote: "I kind of agree with you but not completely.The sparkling thing is kinda stupid, but they don't have to be bad ass.
I quite liked the vampires from Anne Rice's vampire chronicles."
Here here! She's the whole reason I became a writer! My first novel MIDNIGHT CONQUEST was dedicated to her and I even wrote her an e-mail to let her know. Best of all, I got a really sweet answer back. *Swooning over corresponding with Literary Idol* Yeah, my vampires eat people...in more ways than one. *eyebrow wiggle*
I prefer the traditional vampires, but some of the twists on the old legend have been interesting. I enjoyed Sherrilyn Kenyon's take - Greek mythology as the foundation.
I didn't finish reading the Twilight books because of the sparkle thing and I just wasn't enjoying them as much as I thought I would. The hype, I guess.
@ArialThat's funny, i was just talking about how hype ruins books for me in another group. I've stayed away from most of the hyped books b/c of that.
Lena wrote: "@ArialThat's funny, i was just talking about how hype ruins books for me in another group. I've stayed away from most of the hyped books b/c of that."
Totally! Hype and gossip can totally ruin a book for me even before I read it. It's not worth listening to all of that, I know, but I can't help it sometimes. I often pick books that a lot of people haven't heard of for that reason :-)
Wow, all the comments after my last one have been great! After playing devil's advocate for a few days, I would like to say that were I to ever write vampiric fiction (and I doubt it), I would impress the magical existence of any supernatural creature. This would mean that yes, vampires feed on live blood abut they are actually fueling their existence with the energy of the life it contained, not the nutrients that the vampiric virus feeds off of or anything. Vampires feed, the blood is mysteriously lost. Just like body mass change in a fully changed werewolf, or the massive energy expulsion of wizards. Its just magic people. Deal with it ;)
Haha, thanks, Roger. I subscribe to that theory in my own vampire books, lol. So here's my theory: vampires need nutrients in a different way from humans. Instead of injesting a variety of foreign subtances (food) and excreting the unusable parts, they only injest the substance that is already inside them/part of their makeup. If a human ate only liquid, they would perish. But vampires aren't human. They need blood as a way to fuel them, but they dont digest, since their bodily functions no longer work as they did when human. They don't digest blood. It is more like...the sun to a solar charger. The blood supplies the energy (or magic, if you like) that animates their dead/undead bodies. They don't waste or excrete anything, bc blood is all and the only thing they need. They don't pee or deficate b/c they dont digest their food. They use all the energy in it and waste nothing. Or, that's how I explained it in my version of vampires. Lena Hillbrand
The Superiors
Going down a slightly different track, why are vampires always so amazing? I don't think it's fair. Why aren't some of them, like a bit unpopular? Why does drinking blood automatically mean you look beautiful?
They ain't always, with some authors being changed to a vampire doesn't do much else to you than turn you from a live loser to a undead one.But in Romance it's common, and my guess would be that it is a translation of the often cited vampire's thrall. While Nancy A. Collins's vamps and other things that go bump in the night are only putting up an appearance of being human and irresistibly attractive, much like fairy glitter, modern author's decided to go all literal with it.
Vamps dazzling you with their beauty while sucking the lifeblood from your veins, it's, when you think about it, a very apt symbolism for todays society.
Roger wrote: "Wow, all the comments after my last one have been great! After playing devil's advocate for a few days, I would like to say that were I to ever write vampiric fiction (and I doubt it), I would imp..."That's the common thought for Human Vampires too. Blood is a vessel for the Prana, which is the essense of all life. So, vampires are realing feeding off energy. Or so I'm told.
Jdfield wrote: "Going down a slightly different track, why are vampires always so amazing? I don't think it's fair. Why aren't some of them, like a bit unpopular? Why does drinking blood automatically mean you loo..."I think vampires have become sexy because of the power they contain and the way that power is portrayed. It's the idea that they own everything around them. "You are my prey. If I want you, I can have you. And you will love it." That kind of power/self confidence makes for sexy characters.
Add that most fictional vampires are described as physically beautiful (as a way to attract prey), and bam! you got yourself a complete package of sex appeal.
I know this is old, but here is news for the person who started this topic- while vampires don't sparkle- here's another=Vampires are not REAL!
C.D. wrote: "It's the idea that they own everything around them. "You are my prey. If I want you, I can have you. And you will love it." That kind of power/self confidence makes for sexy characters..."That's funny, whenever I try that it makes only for a restraining order...
Gerd wrote: "C.D. wrote: "It's the idea that they own everything around them. "You are my prey. If I want you, I can have you. And you will love it." That kind of power/self confidence makes for sexy characters..."Haha, definitely. Most heros in romance novels would make horrible real-life partners. I love a little angst in a book hero, hate it in a boyfriend. Edward, btw, huge stalker. Disabling a vehicle to keep his woman from seeing someone...not cool.
C.D.--totally agree. Edward treated bella like a small child, and a possession. And i wont even get into the whole i-will-watch-you-while-you-sleep thing. i already vented about that earlier on this thread. Yes, Edward is very manipulative and controlling. But Bella seems to just eat it up! Very frustrating portrayal of women in these books, if you ask me. All our teens & preteens reading them have a great role model, lol.
Oh, and can i quote Stephen King's take on vampires? The messasge in the vampire myth, according to Stephen King: "I will orally rape you and you will like it!"
And he's talking about Dracula here. So i dont think the sex appeal thing is anything new--it's always been part of the myth.
C.D. wrote: "Gerd wrote: "C.D. wrote: "It's the idea that they own everything around them. "You are my prey. If I want you, I can have you. And you will love it." That kind of power/self confidence makes for se..."You're right! A lot of the things Edward does to 'protect' Bella are really very controlling and disturbing. Their relationship is extremely unhealthy when you think about it, and not very romantic at all. If I had a boyfriend like that, I would definitely get a restraining order!
But if you got a restraining order b/c you found out your boyfriend had been sneaking into your room at night while you slept and disabling your car... Wouldnt Edward just keep doing it? He never seemed too concerned w/ charlie's rules, and Charlie is a COP. Which is the person who would try to enforce the restraining order.
Lena wrote: "But if you got a restraining order b/c you found out your boyfriend had been sneaking into your room at night while you slept and disabling your car... Wouldnt Edward just keep doing it? He nev..."
You're right, that's a scary thought! How do you tell your invincible vampire boyfriend 'no means no,' if he doesn't seem to care and doesn't follow any conventional relationship rules? There's no way! Jeez, I hope all the teenagers out there don't think that's how a relationship is supposed to work, cause Bella and Edward's relationship isn't even close!
A good partner will listen to you and respect your wishes no matter what. And seriously? I find someone breaking and entering into my house to watch me sleep absolutely psychotic, not cute or romantic. What a bunch of BS!
i actually wondered about that too! if he's always hard then how would it feel if he really got hard? Just not appealing to me. To have sex with an icicle. *shudders*
I once read somewhere that Stephenie Meyer said Edward would not be a good boyfriend. Always made me wonder why she made him so stalkerish & controlling.
Lena wrote: "I once read somewhere that Stephenie Meyer said Edward would not be a good boyfriend. Always made me wonder why she made him so stalkerish & controlling."It's pretty common in romance novels. The heroes can be real macho a-holes sometimes. For some reason that makes them sexy. I think it goes with the appeal of being completed lusted after, or the idea of taming a wild beast. And to be fair, I do enjoy reading books where characters explode with raw, uncontrollable desire. I just don't want necessarily want to be exploded upon IRL.
haha
THANK YOU! Don't get me wrong, I love Edward...sometimes. And the controlling, territorial boyfriend thing is HOT! Just not on him. He just... took it too far. And if you read Midnight Sun (the part that is finished) you see just how much of a stalker he is. It's cute in the beginning but then it's...not.
Yeah, Edward and Bella's relationship is fun to read about and everything, but in real life that would be a completely different story! But that's part of why books are so great! You can become any kind of character you want in a book, act out any number of 'forbidden' scenarios that you would never do in real life, and still be safe and sound when you put the book down. Totally awesome!!!
Molly wrote: "Yeah, Edward and Bella's relationship is fun to read about and everything, but in real life that would be a completely different story! But that's part of why books are so great! You can become a..."
That's why Lolita is awesome, you get to act out pedophile tendencies. Totally awesome! /sarcasm
No really though, I get what you're saying, doesn't make it any less creepy though.
And not have frostbite on your hooha.
@Sophie--yeah, def. uncomfortable. And imagine a human guy hooking up w/ vampire girl. Even worse! The poor guy getting enchanted by her beauty & irresistibleness... Then it's so cold he can't get it up! LOL.
Lena wrote: "@Sophie--yeah, def. uncomfortable. And imagine a human guy hooking up w/ vampire girl. Even worse! The poor guy getting enchanted by her beauty & irresistibleness... Then it's so cold he can't ..."
lol! i think it would be uncomfortable for the guy as well. Wouldn't she *clears throat* crush him. If you know what I mean?
Okay, you know what? We need to stop talking about this.
Hahaha....the last comments regarding the intercourse part are hilarious. You guys are so full of imagination.I bet the male vamp's part is not that cold. The sperms will die in that temperature...:)
EWW! You said SPERM! EWWW!
Hahaha....LOL! I have said sperms when we were discussing of the impossibility of vamp pregnancy here. Should I have said...those extra tiny walking manhood?
okay. that is worse. that is definitely worse. let's go back to *takes a deep breath* SPERM!
Hahahaha....Talking about flaws in Twilight is always entertaining. I do not fancy its supernatural world. Definitely weird! But I love its romance.
Love! The romance! It actually is fun poking holes in the... mythology? I guess that's the word for it. *mutters* sparkly vampires. Have you read/watched TrueBlood? Now they, THEY ARE VAMPIRES!
I read all 11 books of Sookie Stackhouse series and have watched all 3 seasons of True Blood.Eric is what a vampire should be. What I love about Eric is that he is gorgeous, ruthless and dominating but a loving one when it comes to Sookie.
Team ERIC!
OKAY I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! Eric is most amazing vampire ever! you said it! gorgeous, ruthless, and dominating! And loving when it comes to Sookie. You forgot Pam! Did you see that episode in Season 3, when Pam was taken by the Magister and he came and got her? GAH! I melted!
Yep...Eric is so awesome. I loved it when he tried to ignore his feeling towards Sookie because he felt weird, but failed. Can't wait for season 4. Love Alexander too....:)
OH YEAH! Alexander Skarsgard is actually the #1 hottest guy of all time. According to my study (of me and my 4 girl-friends). You know he is dating *swallows hard* Kate Bosworth?
Eric is my best vamp. Jace and Will are my best Nephilim. Ash is my best fey. Daniel is my best fallen angel. They are my top list....:)
Nurlely wrote: "Hahaha....LOL! I have said sperms when we were discussing of the impossibility of vamp pregnancy here. Should I have said...those extra tiny walking manhood?"
Um, I think swimming is more appropriate...extra tiny swimming manhood... ; )
Okay, so I've apparantly been reading/writing too many adult books of late. Is sperm now a bad word? I can think of waaay worse words for it/them.
Oh man, I just thought of a crazy idea for a paranormal book. Where sperm actually walk, so there's this risk of getting pregnant in random places. Kinda like getting lice. Ewww.
Okay, back to Edward...
EW! NASTY! Now I'm imagining that!
Nurlely wrote: "Eric is my best vamp. Jace and Will are my best Nephilim. Ash is my best fey. Daniel is my best fallen angel. They are my top list....:)"Eric is my best! Then Vlad(from Night Huntress/Dracula)! Then Damon Slavatore!
Jace and Alec are my best Nephilim. And I like Isabelle, but she's not a favorite.
Claudine and Claude are my favorite fae(though not in the TV Show)! I do like Ash, though!
Cam is my best Fallen Angel. I'm not sorry, I love my Cam! Gods he totally kicked that guys ass for putting his hands on her! So protective! So kick-ass! My love!
@CD--lol...like lice? Lol. hilarious. Okay, i know this is WAY off topic, but for some reason it made me think of that. And it's a great topic for a horror movie/book!!!Did you know that bedbugs reproduce through what is called, i believe, traumatic inception? Or something like that. Basically that means that the female has no...er...opening, so the male has to puncture her body to deposit his seed inside her shell?
Hows THAT for a gross reproduction story. Makes the whole icy vampire thing become a little less awful, doesnt it?
lol...gross, i know. I'm always the one saying gross stuff on here! And no, sperm is not a bad word. i think i used the word ejaculate already a few times on this thread...someone told me that was a bad word! It's a completely technical word.
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