Problems with Life/Emos and Goths discussion
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message 1:
by
Maddie
(new)
Apr 26, 2011 07:38PM
I have multiple personality dissorder.. It happens alot to kids who are abused when they are little.. I have 3 personalitys, Me( Maddie) Ava (The happy one) And Lyn (She kills her self.. )
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Kathryn (pissed so much i will either hurt you or myself to thepoint of deth)Katie(my normal emotionlessness)
Kat(the happie go lucky)
B squared (B squared= bitter bitch) (when im depresed....)
my names and nicknames...
I have multi personality.
One moment, im paula, a spunky blonde who jist wants to have fun.
Next, im sakaki, quiet but loving.
Then, Im Lin, A girl lost forever.
One moment, im paula, a spunky blonde who jist wants to have fun.
Next, im sakaki, quiet but loving.
Then, Im Lin, A girl lost forever.
MY private stuff:I am bisexual
I am somewhat suicidal
I am very tempted to drink again
I no longer feel smart in school.
I need help.
I HOPE AND WISH i could tell this to my parents.
But I cant.
liz (in the 3rd phase of Amor Deleria Nervosa) wrote: "Would you like to talk to me (Liz), suzette, Quinn, or Drae? By the way, Drae is the most stable."Of course I am.
Every dayI feel my body slipping away
Just a little more and there wont be
anything left of me
Just to walk puts me in an almost paralyzing pain
And I believe I've gone insane
How... how do those kind people... get it all done, without becoming insane...?
Through ice and through fire
A wilderness of stone
With dreams and desires
I have come alone
Seeking the answers
Only you could know
Show me the wisdom of the world
Tell me the secrets of the heart
And the sweet mysteries of love
Come fill my eyes with visions
So that I may see
Reveal the ancient powers
Whisper them to me
Here I stand before you
Ready to receive
Does a place called paradise
Wait beyond the azure skies
Bright as day?
Look into your crystal ball
Read the future in the stars
Does it say?
Will I give my heart in vain
To a lover or a friend
Come what may?
Who to trust and where to turn
There's so much I've yet to learn
Show the way
I am down on my knees
Begging now, begging please
Through ice and through fire
A wilderness of stone
With dreams and desires
I have come alone
Seeking the answers
Only you could know
Show me the wisdom of the world
Tell me the secrets of the heart
And the sweet mysteries of love
Come fill my eyes with visions
So that I may see
Reveal the ancient powers
Whisper them to me
Here I stand before you
Ready to receive
Does a place called paradise
Wait beyond the azure skies
Bright as day?
Look into your crystal ball
Read the future in the stars
Does it say?
Will I give my heart in vain
To a lover or a friend
Come what may?
Who to trust and where to turn
There's so much I've yet to learn
Show the way
I am down on my knees
Begging now, begging please
As I sink, sink downI look up and see the waves ruffling the sky above
As I listen to the rushing in my ears
I realize that the pai., the pain is gone
No longer trapped in a body
Free to be what I want to be
THE PAIN IS NOT FREAKING GONE! IT JUST KEEPS GETTING WORSE, AND I NEED A NEW PAIN TO DISTRACT ME! What should I do?
liz (in the 3rd phase of Amor Deleria Nervosa) wrote: "THE PAIN IS NOT FREAKING GONE! IT JUST KEEPS GETTING WORSE, AND I NEED A NEW PAIN TO DISTRACT ME! What should I do?"
hm... i have an idea, but since I love you, wont telll you how to hurt yourself... im sorry.. but I worry too much for you...u guys are like my BFFS, ya know....
hm... i have an idea, but since I love you, wont telll you how to hurt yourself... im sorry.. but I worry too much for you...u guys are like my BFFS, ya know....
Someone needs to have a talk with Liz. If she keeps carrying on as she has, she will kill all of Us. And I don't want to die. Not yet.
Also, however 'connected' Liz, Suzette and I are, there needs to be boundaries. I have been able to escape the whole sad story for two years, but Liz finally drew me in. Things I can never unsee, unhear, or unfeel.
Drae wrote: "Someone needs to have a talk with Liz. If she keeps carrying on as she has, she will kill all of Us. And I don't want to die. Not yet."ya.... same with me.... and could someone talk to Salid fingers? her negitivness has brought me to almaost getting a nife....
i'sOkAy (European Noble)Oui....nein wrote: "Drae wrote: "Someone needs to have a talk with Liz. If she keeps carrying on as she has, she will kill all of Us. And I don't want to die. Not yet."ya.... same with me.... and could someone talk ..."
It isn't that she's... cutting. She refuses to accept that she shouldn't keep going when the pain hits that bad. She was lucky she was surrounded by friends, and not on one of her runs.
i know.... but i was getting depresed reading everything she was saying.... and i was trying to help her.... but i dont thinck i will be able to till i stop tetering on the edge of depresion...alot of people need to put a smile on...
sorry if i sound like a selfish bitch
i'sOkAy (European Noble)Oui....nein wrote: "i know.... but i was getting depresed reading everything she was saying.... and i was trying to help her.... but i dont thinck i will be able to till i stop tetering on the edge of depresion...alo..."
I was talking about Liz. Salad... is going through a hard time. And I, along with Liz will be there if she needs us. You don't sound like a selfish bitch. What was she saying?
never mind..... i dont feel like getting grumpie..... and she did not say anything....(i dont thinck...) i might just be the way im interpreting what you are typing that i thaught you thaught i was being a bitch..... sory ima bit defensive... and i know that i am such a bitch sometimes..... so i always try to apolagise if i feel like i was being a bitch...
Drae wrote: "i'sOkAy (European Noble)Oui....nein wrote: "Drae wrote: "Someone needs to have a talk with Liz. If she keeps carrying on as she has, she will kill all of Us. And I don't want to die. Not yet."ya...."
Leave me alone... I'm alive, and that's all that counts...
i'sOkAy (European Noble)Oui....nein wrote: "but are you happie? good night..... im in no mood to be caught in this"Yes and no. Good night!
liz (tired of fighting) wrote: "Drae wrote: "i'sOkAy (European Noble)Oui....nein wrote: "Drae wrote: "Someone needs to have a talk with Liz. If she keeps carrying on as she has, she will kill all of Us. And I don't want to die. N..."
I know we're emo and all, but that doesnt mean everything is negative. Find something that makes you happy, like music, drawing, sports- if you think that nothing makes you happy, then you really need help. (No offense but im just going out and saying that.... im sort of tired of being emo....)
I know we're emo and all, but that doesnt mean everything is negative. Find something that makes you happy, like music, drawing, sports- if you think that nothing makes you happy, then you really need help. (No offense but im just going out and saying that.... im sort of tired of being emo....)
エイブリー (Avery-chan the link-giver) ☮� wrote: "liz (tired of fighting) wrote: "Drae wrote: "i'sOkAy (European Noble)Oui....nein wrote: "Drae wrote: "Someone needs to have a talk with Liz. If she keeps carrying on as she has, she will kill all o..."there are plenty of thinngs that make me happy. Like you guys :)
As if!In fact,ur allways the ones that make me happy...
You're allways the ones who I think of when I'm trying not to cut...
You DO NOT make me sad!
I'm nor doing so good. Just got out of school. Suffered another... attack. Not as bad as Friday. I was able to stay consious this time, but it still sucks.
:( keep holding on...And thanks so much for telling my about writing poetry on your wrists...
That was the reason i didn't cut last night :)
salad you are not a bitch(at least on here) it is just i gess you are so depresed... and im just saying that becauseim officialy depressed again.... i just hope i stop falling further into the hole...
ugh this is random but im fricked off at a huge sore on my toungue from my braces
Christina wrote: "I'm close to cutting and i REALLY don't want to!HELP!"
No! I hate myself for not checking in earlier...
im not cutting... fingers crossed.... im taking more chances, making new friends....
Christina wrote: "...Why do I cut?...I still haven't found an answer to that question"
to feel? That is the most common answer that I've heard.
Drae wrote: "Christina wrote: "...Why do I cut?...I still haven't found an answer to that question"
to feel? That is the most common answer that I've heard."
yup. at least, for me.


