Young Writers discussion
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Make fun of my old writing.
message 251:
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Elliott
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Jan 11, 2012 07:52PM
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I stray too far from the plot, until I've lost it completely.
message 253:
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Brigid ✩, No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader.
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"Bossey Boby bully bear
Put glue on the teachers chair
Bossey boby bosey boby bossey boby bully bear
8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!
When the the teacher sat..."
HAHAHAHA. That is the most beautiful poem I've ever read.
That reminds me. I should find all my emo poetry that I wrote in sixth grade. I kind of went through a phase... it's cringeworthy. XD
I don't write poetry much, but I wrote this strange little rhyme in hindi recently XD
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Shreya=Drastically Random. Find the emoticon. wrote: "Rachel wrote: "Here's the Intro to the first real story I ever wrote. EVER. Although I wouldn't even call it a real story. It is called... *DUN DUN DUUUNNNN* ...Cinderella Solar Star! Circa Second..."
I wrote a parody of "Party in the USA" for school. It was about the Outsiders and it was for a school project. So I had "the Amazing Tonedeaf Ponyboy!" sing it and ever since I recorded myself singing it I can't take that song seriously anymore.
I'm honestly really tempted to post it on here.
All this talk of writing depressing poetry as kids reminds me of what I wrote in my journal once in elementary school ... it wasn't a poem, but it was still pretty depressing. "If people were flowers, I would be a weed." Aww. It makes me sad that even as a little kid I had no self-confidence.
Annie (Juliet) wrote: "I'M SO BORED. ROAR."Yo tambien.
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Oh goodness, I just found some of my writing from almost2 years ago.. *cringe*
message 263:
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Brigid ✩, No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader.
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That night we rested a while inside one of the houses, who’s owner had forgotten to close the door, they were is such a hurry. A few pieces of furniture remained. An upset chair lay in the corner, with one leg snapped in half, as if some one had stepped on it. A few pieces of china had been knocked off shelves, and shattered on the floor.
I sat and watched the broken pieces, as they caught the light from the moon. They looked strangely beautiful. Almost magical.
Then the White Cat stood and stretched, yawned, and told me that we were going outside.
The moon was full. The White Cat looked at it with flashing eyes, that seemed to be admiring, yet they seemed to be full of some kind of hate, probably for the Unknown, I thought.
“The moon is full of magic. It will give us the power we need.” She mumbled, smiling strangely. Then the crystal around her neck began to glow, then it shone, filling the town with blue light, and suddenly, a ray of it shot out at me, and ceized me, lifting me up, filling me with a powerful shock. I tried to cry out but couldn’t. It was unbearably painful. But then it was over, and I was back on the ground, the White Cat still staring at the moon, as if nothing had happened. For a moment I thought it had not been real. But I realized that I was panting, and felt very scared and tired, which seemed to prove it had been real.
“What just happened?” I asked her.
“The moon has given us power for the battle.” She replied, “Now we must thank it.” And then she bowed low, lifted her head, and walked back into the house.
I felt afraid. Shakily, I bowed to the moon, then walked after the White Cat.
message 264:
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Brigid ✩, No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader.
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Oh, your cartoon thing reminds me that I also used to write comic books when I was ... 7 I think. Most of them were about a cat named Kitty. I was such a creative child. I remember I wrote this one Thanksgiving one where Kitty went to her friend's house and she was like, "I am thankful I didn't throw up in the car." And my dad found that super hilarious for some reason. The end.
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Oh, your cartoon thing reminds me that I also used to write comic books when I was ... 7 I think. Most of them were about a cat named Kitty. I was such a creative chil..."
At least you had your own cat character. I used to make Hello Kitty comic books. xD
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I used to be ashamed of my old writing but now I just, like, pretend it's not my writing but some other random 12 year old and then it's suddenly hilarious.
Sa..."
What in the heck is a "dir", Holden?
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This story was set in the Civil War and this girl loved a boy whose family was Confederate and her family sympathized with the Union and her sister died and her dad went to war and... yeah.
***
Mama was asleep and I was reading, trying to settle my restless mind. I was drifting off to sleep when I heard a crash. I jumped and my book fell to the floor. I went slowly outside to the spot where I thought I heard the noise. I wasn’t scared but I was catious as I ventured further and further away from the safety of the house. “Lelia,” a voice whispered. I jumped back. “Shhh,” it said. “It’s just me. I tripped,” the voice said sheepishly. “Lelie?” I smiled shaking my head. My knight in shining armor wasn’t so perfect after all. I walked around the tree, and saw him still sprawled across the ground. “How did you manage this?” I questioned. “I was running and, well, it’s dark,” Leslie said, trying to excuse himself. I offered him my hand, but he ignored it and got up on his own. “Why are you here? Your father would…” Leslie cut me off. “I can worry about my father. You needn’t worry your pretty little head.” Something in his voice surprised me. It held resentment. Towards me or his father, I didn’t know. “Why are you here?” I insisted. “I had to see you,” he said, smiling in the dark. He grabbed my hand. “Come with me.” We walked silently through the woods listening the sounds of the night. I didn’t know where we were going, and I found that I didn’t really care. I scolded myself in my head. Why was I going into the woods at night with a boy? I shrugged the thought away and let myself enjoy Leslie’s company. We walked in silence until we reached a clearing in the woods. He stopped walking. “What?” I whispered. He just pointed at the sky. I looked up and I’m sure my heart stopped beating. A full moon was painted in a sky of twinkling stars. A comet streaked through the dark blue sky. “This is amazing,” I breathed. I looked at Leslie and saw a tear slip down his cheek. “I just want you to know, that I think you’re amazing,” he said. He grabbed my hands and his intense green eyes looked into mine. “You’re smart, creative, sensible, fearless. You’re beautiful.” I smiled and bit my lip. He thought I was beautiful. “When I first saw you after that long, hard winter, I think I fell in love. I thought you were to good for me. There were plenty of other boys, why would you waste a second with your best friends brother?” “You’re more than that,” I said. “When I talk to you, I can open my heart. You helped me through Ressie’s death when my best friend didn’t give it a second thought.” “Then you love me?” Leslie asked. “I do,” I replied. He leaned over and kissed my cheek. I was surprised but I accepted his embrace. We stood in silence. “I’m going to war,” Leslie said, suddenly. “ You’re leaving?” I asked, numb with shock. “Father said there were too many distractions here,” he said slowly. I was confused. Then it hit me. I was the distraction. That’s all Mr. ( ) thought of me. A distraction. “And he thinks I need to be a man…serve my (what’s the word?) In that instant I realized what it meant, and my heart shattered into a million pieces. “You’re going to war,” I repeated his words, holding back the bewildered tears. “To kill and fight for slavery.” I continued my voice rising. “What about everything you said that day by the creek? It was all lies wasn’t it?” I was yelling my hands were shaking. “Lia,” Leslie pleaded. “You said you would never take a life, never!” “I have to go!” Leslie yelled. “Do you think I want to?” “You could say no,” I replied. “You don’t even care! How do you think I feel? I have to leave my family, my friends, you!” Leslie said his voice shaking. “I do not want to deal with this right now,” I shouted. “Fine!” Leslie said. “See what I care! I’ll just go! I don’t knbow why I even told you!”
“I never want to see you again!” I screamed. “I never want talk to someone who would take the life of another human being.” I ran away the tears streaming down my cheeks. Now, I was completely alone. I had no one left to run to, but I ran, stumbling over tree roots and rocks, not knowing hwer I was going. I don’t know how I found my way home, but I sat on my bed and wept. Wept for Ressie, Father, Mama, Mattie, but most of all Leslie. I could still feel where he had kissed me, where his lips had touched my wet cheek. I touched my cheek softly and brought my fingers to my lips. I looked out my window at the still shining brightly full moon.
“I love you,” I whispered. “So much.”
Mod
Halloween makes a fright
Because it happens [on a] dark night
Beware of witches
And of course itches
You give us treats
Because you know we love to eat
THIS
OH MY GOD. I don't..."
OH MY WORD. I LOVE THE GIRLS RULE POEM. SO ACCURATE. :D
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NOT TRUE! Some of them start with "We." xD
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NOT TRUE! Some of them start with "We." xD"
WHATEVER.
It's really sad :c"
Pahaha, it's really melodramatic, you mean. But 12 year old me thanks you. :D
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This story was set in the Civil War and this girl loved a boy whose family was Con..."
PARAGRAPH? WAT IZ PARAGRAPH?
Hehe, little Lav blushes and says thank you and *shy huggles*
(No. Pssh. I don't have different versions of myself as I was growing up in my head. That'd be crazy. Ha. Ha. Ha.)
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I used to be ashamed of my old writing but now I just, like, pretend it's not my writing but some other rand..."
I want to know how this whole third gender thing worked!
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BAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I WILL NEVER STOP MENTALLY LAUGHING. EVER AGAIN. IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.
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This is very accurate.
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TELL ME. RIGHT NOW.
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. . . I wrote a twenty-school-notebooked-novel when I was in the second grade. It was about these girls with powers of the elements--air, fire, water, earth, energy, and there were twins with the powers of animals and men. T_T I was REALLY into W.I.T.C.H back then, so the plot was similar to one of the arcs. It was kind of weird . . . there was this part where they had to dig up a grave in the park at one in the morning to look for a jewel that would grant them the power to defeat the dragon, and when they opened the coffin, this cute bunny jumped out. They made it their 'team pet'. Oh, and there was a part the girl with the power of air was trying to attract this cute guy, so when she walked to him, she made the wind twirl around her hair.And that's not even half of it. I just realized that there are four books in total . . . *cringes*
Holden wrote: "Lav [lately I've been feeling] wrote: "Holden wrote: "Lav [lately I've been feeling] wrote: "Holden wrote: "xD THIS IS THE BEST TOPIC EVER.I used to be ashamed of my old writing but now I just,..."
xD Thank you for making my day!
Max wrote: ". . . I wrote a twenty-school-notebooked-novel when I was in the second grade. It was about these girls with powers of the elements--air, fire, water, earth, energy, and there were twins with the p..."I would totes read those.
Rachel wrote: "Except for FOUR BOOKS OF THAT STUFF? GOOD LORD, SECOND-GRADER MAX!"I know, right? x_x I think I wrote them at the back of my Math notebook when I was bored and didn't feel like paying attention, so at the end of the school year, I think I completed the whole thing. Then a year ago, my fifth-grade self found the last three books at the back of my Reading, Science, and Filipino notebooks respectively, and she threw them away. I still don't know where the first one is. Ironically though, the book I actually completed in the fifth-grade had crappy grammar . . . really crappy grammar. No punctuation at all. xD
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Background information: Zen and this other girl are trap..."
SO MUCH VIOLENCE FOR ONE SO YOUNG.
message 283:
by
Maria [the clockwork creeps on useless lives], Butts butts
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![Maria [the clockwork creeps on useless lives] (mariachhile) | 8772 comments](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1322709957p1/2412416.jpg)
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Autumn is a dinosaur. wrote: "Max wrote: ". . . I wrote a twenty-school-notebooked-novel when I was in the second grade. It was about these girls with powers of the elements--air, fire, water, earth, energy, and there were twin..."You wouldn't. Trust me. You wouldn't. xD
message 285:
by
Maria [the clockwork creeps on useless lives], Butts butts
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Unlike all the other dreams I had, this time it was like I was watching from the sidelines. In the shadowy corner crouched a creature. I had no idea what it was, or what it was doing there. Crowding in the other corners were random people, but one was standing out in particular. It was a guy, about my age, fiddling with his belt loop, looking extremely bored. The creatures squirmed, he looked at it, was and then looked away, as if he was sick of it. THe actual me (the one watching from the sidelines) watched him. For some reason, my eyes were drawn towards him. There was something familiar about him, yet he was so... different. I couldn't recall where I needed him from.
Scottie crouched closer to me, scared among all the strange people, and keeping her eyes on the creature, watching to make sure it didn't do anything. The creature to me, was beautiful. IT looked like a bright white moon with a sliver of sunlight on it. I wasn't scared by at, actually, my fear was quelled by it. Yet, when I started to examine it more closely, I turned my attention back to the teenager, who was walking behind me, hands in pockets. I watched as I hugged Scottie and murmured words into her ear. What did it mean? Why couldn't I hear her? I tried to step closer, but was blocked by an invisible wall. Whenever I touched that space in air, I heard the sound of metal clanging. I saw Scottie move a little away from me, advancing towards the beautiful moon creature. She was trying to be brave enough to go near it. I watched. Though, when she got within eight feet of it, she ran back and clung to me.
I decided to give it a go, and I went over to Scottie to ask her a question, the invisible wall cleared. When I was a couple steps away from her, she caught my eye. I don't think she noticed it wasn't the dream me.
"Isn't that creature beautiful?" I asked her, wondering what she thought of this spectacular beauty. She shook her head, and got low to the ground. I wondered how this could be. The creature was almost in the shape of a swan, with the moon and sun coloring.
"Then what does it look like?" I questioned, curious.
"The devil," she whispered, her thin voice shaking, "It's going to go after me! It's ringed with fire and has the most ugly face imaginable. I shook my head in confusion. It couldn't be. I looked at it again, but this time, I crept across the stone floor so far that I was almost touching it. It had the significant splotches of the moon, and when I put my hand over the part that looked like a shaft of golden sunlight, it felt warm. It emitted a soft buzzing sound whenever you got near it.
Finally I got brave enough to touch the rare beauty. When my very fingertips touched it's back, a shot of warmth shot through me, followed by a bolt of unbelievable pain. Bittersweet, I thought. It felt like someone had put me underneath a telephone pole on a rainy night and sent down a lightning bolt. I shivered. The pain, like the warmth only lasted a second, but the feeling would be ingrained into my skull forever. I shivered once more, not from the shock, but from the bone chilling coldness that followed the shock. Then, getting gathering enough sense to get over my surprise, I took my hand off and felt immediate relief. I backed away, frightened. I ran to the edge of the cave and stopped, the boy's mysterious face luring me back for one more time. I tried to get another look, but Scottie pulled me away. He didn't look very unusual. He looked like he would be Esmerelda's brother; except for he had blue eyes, not brown. I didn't know what drew me to it, and I didn't know why I looked back. Finally, Scottie tugged me one last time, and out of the cave. However, we fell over the edge, falling, falling, falling...
I woke up in the morning, my hair frizzed and my eyes wide awake, afraid of going back to sleep in case I went to that frightening dream again. What could it all have meant? I tiptoed into Scottie's room and checked to make sure she was still ok. She was squirming in her bed but didn't look like anything bad happened to her. I sighed a sigh of relief and went back to my room to start getting ready for school. It was 5:30 and there was no use to waste my time, it was only a little bit before when I would regularly get up for school. I had the whole house quiet just for me. I turned the kitchen light on and gulped down my cereal, for no real reason, just because I wanted to be quick. Slowly, I opened the front door so it wouldn't squeak and wake up my family. The newspaper man always came early to my house, so I grabbed the snowy bundle. I brought it inside and took off the bright (very stretchy) wonderful rubber band that held it together. I put it on my wrist for later use, as it was a very handy thing to have on hand. I smoothed out the crinkly paper and layed it across our kitchen table so I could read it. The front page had little descriptions of what was going inside, the head views, and in the middle of the top section it told us it was the Star Tribune. I looked at the head news artical to see what it was about. When I took a glance, I knew exactly who it was. It was the kid from my dream. And he was dead. "
.........................
Don't feel the need to read that.
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I stabbed someone with scissors back in fifth grade XD"
O.o
I like you.
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DO. IT.
Holden wrote: "xD THIS IS THE BEST TOPIC EVER.I used to be ashamed of my old writing but now I just, like, pretend it's not my writing but some other random 12 year old and then it's suddenly hilarious.
Sa..."
Oh, I like this. This is bestseller material, Holden. I bet you could sell it.
message 289:
by
Maria [the clockwork creeps on useless lives], Butts butts
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I stabbed someone with scissors back in fifth grade XD"
Pahahaha.
I would just hit annoying boys over the head with my backpack.
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message 291:
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Maria [the clockwork creeps on useless lives], Butts butts
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XD I'm definitely a wimp in certain areas of life.
Holden wrote: "Rachel wrote: "PLEASE DON'T D:"I'm siding with Rachel on this one. Some things are just too embarassing, even 6 years later. Not to mention disgusting. ;-)"
If it helps, young Colby thought babies were pooped out. TOTALLY NOT ASHAMED.
message 294:
by
Maria [the clockwork creeps on useless lives], Butts butts
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I was a really freaking gorgeous little kid, if I have to say so myself. That may have helped. XD
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message 296:
by
Maria [the clockwork creeps on useless lives], Butts butts
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EXCEPT FOR I LIKE LOST ALL OF THEM THIS WINTER BUT I'M GETTING THEM BACK.
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I'm glad you're getting them back, lovely.
message 298:
by
Maria [the clockwork creeps on useless lives], Butts butts
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I really should be writing but meh.
Holden wrote: "Colby wrote: "Holden wrote: "xD THIS IS THE BEST TOPIC EVER.I used to be ashamed of my old writing but now I just, like, pretend it's not my writing but some other random 12 year old and then i..."
WOAH WOAH WOAH! You mean to tell me you share my hatred for James Patterson?! *High fives*
message 300:
by
Maria [the clockwork creeps on useless lives], Butts butts
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I used to be ashamed of my old writing but now I just, like, pretend it's not my writing but some other random 12 year..."
It's meant to be.
