Make fun of my old writing.

[Brigid ✩, No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader.]

Well, that's quite eloquent for a 3 year old :D

[Maria [the clockwork creeps on useless lives], Butts butts]

I was probably older, she just sugarcoated the age.XD

[Brigid ✩, No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader.]

Ooh I found my first attempt at a novel. It was called Unicorns by the River, and I wrote it when I was 8. I thought it was going to be totally epic but then I only got to page 9 … so yeah. XD Here's a lovely excerpt.


“So--you mean--all the unicorns died?”

“yes, all of them,” Shimmer moaned.

“Well, I’m sorry,” Kathleen said, stroking him.

Shimmer turned to look at her. “Kathleen, I want to tell you something.”

“What’s that?”

“You know who the banished unicorn was?”

“No.”

“Me.”

Kathleen gasped.

“Why ou?”

“Because everyone thinks I’m no use.”

“Why?”

“Don’t know. I suppose it’s because I’m the youngest.”

“You don’t look very yong to me. How old are you?”

“Well, there were no baby unicorns, so I was the youngest. I am 164 years old.”

“That’s not young at all!”

“Well, you see, unicorns live a very long time. If I wre a human, probably I’d only be what you’d call a teenager.”

“Oh.”

“Kathleen, I want to aske you something.”

“What?”

“Will you come with me? You know. To the banishment place.”

Kathleen was shocked. She didn’t know what to say. She considered it a moment, then gathered up her courage, and said, “yes. I will go with you.”

“Good,” said Shimmer. “Climb onto my back.” Kathleen did so, and Shimmer leaped into the water. They swam down a deep hole and went down, down, down, Blue and green swirled around them. Kathleen suddenly realized she was inside a bubble. “It’s so you can breathe,” Shimmer explained.

Soon they landed in a beautiful, underwater world. Kathleen had never seen anything so beautiful. Green, blue, and purple underwater trees grew, and little huts made of seaweed gathered around a beautiful stone castle. The windows were outlined with pearls, and a winding path made of smooth, black stones led up to the castle.

Shimmer was walking towards the castle. “Oh! Are we going to the castle?” Kathleen whispered excitedly. “yes,” said Shimmer. They had reached the door. It swung open with a creak, and when they were inside, it shut behind them.

In the back of the room, on a red velvet throne, outlined with pearls, sat a small, delicate unicorn. She looked extremely old. Maybe a million years thought Kathleen.

Shimmer and Kathleen approached the old unicorn. Kathleen guessed whe was the queen. “Hello,” the old queen said softly. Shimmer kneeled down in a bow, and Kathleen supposed she should do the same, but before she could, Shimmer began to speak. “hello queen. I have heard good things about you and your marvelous casstle. I was very excited to be--allowed to come.” But Kathleen could tell he wasn’t very excited at all. While she was thinking this, Shimmer began to introduce her. “This is Kathleen. She is my person.” Kathleen looked at the queen as her black, sparkling eyes fell upon her.

“Hello. I’ve not seen a child in years. All three of us are very lucky. Shimmer because he found his person, you because you’ve found your unicorn, and me because I’ve finally seen a child.” She cluckled warmly. Kathleen twisted her mouth into a slight smile.

She was starting to feel more welcome.

Shimmer spoke again. “Where are we to stay?”

The queen looked at him calmly. “Just go up the stairs. My daughter will be waiting for you at the top. She will show you to where you will be staying.”

Shimmer and Kathleen started up the stairs. “Oh! Arent’ you excited that we’re going to meet the princess?” Kathleen hissed excitedly. “Not really,” Shimmer said, but Kathleen could tell that he really was excited. Soon they reached the top. At the top stood the most beautiful unicorn Kathleen coud have ever imagined. And as she spoke, the room seemed to quiver, like rippling water.

The beautiful unicorn spoke. “Greetings! My name is Tanya.” She tossed her silky mane. “Princess Tanya.”

Kathleen stared, and didn’t notice that her mouth dropped open, until Tanya said, “Please close your mouth.” Kathleen quickly closed it.

“Hello,” Shimmer said, “Can you please show us where we are to stay?”

“Gladly,” Tanya said, tossing her mane again. Tanya loved her mane, and you couldn’t ever blame her. It was long, silky, and parts of it were tinged pink. Her hooves were a shiny light blue, and they cliked quietly when she stepped around. She had big, round, black eyes, and they glittered beautifully.


… I think you get the idea. It's like My Pretty Pony threw up on a piece of paper.

[RedPath]

You guys kept all of these diary thingies? O.o I threw mine away, I think. All of the entries were about cats. I had a weird cat fetish when I was younger XD

Actually, I still do.

[Maria [the clockwork creeps on useless lives], Butts butts]

This is so extremely amusing.

[Maria [the clockwork creeps on useless lives], Butts butts]

I wrote a story about these creatures in 3rd grade. I was so nice then that I drew you one.

[image error]
[image error]
[image error]

[Maria [the clockwork creeps on useless lives], Butts butts]

RedPath wrote: "You guys kept all of these diary thingies? O.o I threw mine away, I think. All of the entries were about cats. I had a weird cat fetish when I was younger XD

Actually, I still do."

I never really throw anything I write away...

[Brigid ✩, No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader.]

Maria [Athazagoraphobia!] wrote: "This is so extremely amusing."

It is. I just re-read what I posted and had an extreme giggling fit … I can't believe how serious I was when I wrote that. Hahahaha. XD Although there's a lot of descriptions in there that are pretty darn good for an 8-year-old, so I give my 2nd grade self a pat on the head for that.

[Maria [the clockwork creeps on useless lives], Butts butts]

I have to agree.
The plot is just hilarious, because you could tell you were extremely serious.

[Brigid ✩, No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader.]

Maria [Athazagoraphobia!] wrote: "I have to agree.
The plot is just hilarious, because you could tell you were extremely serious."

Haha, a-yup. XD
I think about half of that was ripped off from those Unicorn Chronicle books I used to read. :D

[[deleted user]]

That's the best thing I've ever read, Brigid.

Speaking of cat fetishes...
I HIT THE JACKPOT. IT'S A SONG MY DAD AND I WROTE ABOUT WHAT WOULD HAPPEN TO MY KITTIES(aka my beanie baby cats) IF THE COWS DID NOT GO TO WORK.

"Milky"

The cows did not go to work
They did not make any milk
The milkman did not bring milk
To the store today

Bring back, bring back
Oh bring back my milky to me
Meow, Meow
Bring back, bring back
Oh bring back my milky to me
Meow, Meow

My dad called home from work
He said he'd bring home some milk
The kitties were going balistic
As he walked thru the door

Bring back, bring back
Oh bring back my milky to me
Meow, Meow
Bring back, bring back
Oh bring back my milky to me
Meow, Meow

My dad did not have any milk
The kitties were very glum
Their little bellies were starved
And stayed in the sink all day

Bring back, bring back
Oh bring back my milky to me
Meow, Meow
Bring back, bring back
Oh bring back my milky to me
Meow, Meow

The kitties were very thirsty
I guess we will just feed them water
They went to bed crying
Dreaming of sweet bowls of milk

Bring back, bring back
Oh bring back my milky to me
Meow, Meow
Bring back, bring back
Oh bring back my milky to me
Meow, Meow

The kitties woke up so happy
The cows went back to work
The milk was sent to the store
And my kitties meow meowed all day

Bring back, bring back
Oh bring back my milky to me
Meow, Meow
Bring back, bring back
Oh bring back my milky to me
Meow, Meow

Andre and all the kitties
Drank all the milk in the house
That's how they grew big and strong
And got to go outside and play

Bring back, bring back
Oh bring back my milky to me
Meow, Meow
Bring back, bring back
Oh bring back my milky to me
Meow, Meow

[Maria [the clockwork creeps on useless lives], Butts butts]

When did you guys write this?XD

It's pure brilliance.

[Brigid ✩, No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader.]

Cara [I don't need a parachute] wrote: "That's the best thing I've ever read, Brigid.

Speaking of cat fetishes...
I HIT THE JACKPOT. IT'S A SONG MY DAD AND I WROTE ABOUT WHAT WOULD HAPPEN TO MY KITTIES(aka my beanie baby cats) IF THE CO..."

WHY THANK YOU. :D

lol, that is an adorable song. XD

That reminds me … I wrote this poem when I was like 9 about an ice cream cone, and now that I'm older it sounds REALLY dirty. I need to find it. It makes me laugh so hard...

[RedPath]

Cara [I don't need a parachute] wrote: "That's the best thing I've ever read, Brigid.

Speaking of cat fetishes...
I HIT THE JACKPOT. IT'S A SONG MY DAD AND I WROTE ABOUT WHAT WOULD HAPPEN TO MY KITTIES(aka my beanie baby cats) IF THE CO..."

*_* I think I love you.

[[deleted user]]

Maria [Athazagoraphobia!] wrote: "When did you guys write this?XD

It's pure brilliance."

I can't remember. I'm guessing I was 7-ish.

I found the comic books I used to make *headdesk forever*

[Brigid ✩, No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader.]

Ooh, found it!!!

Melting Ice Cream

Oh, Ice Cream, Oh Ice Cream,
How sad it is, How sad it is,
To see you melt,
Oh yes it is, Oh yes it is,
I am suddenly in alarm
to watch the sticky gooey
cold stuff ooze slowly
down my arm, I desperately
lick and lick and lick,
but you still drip
and drip and drip, It is so sad
to see you melt away,
On such a hot and blazing day.

.... BAHAHAHAHA.

[[deleted user]]

♥ Brigid ♥ wrote: "Ooh, found it!!!

Melting Ice Cream

Oh, Ice Cream, Oh Ice Cream,
How sad it is, How sad it is,
To see you melt,
Oh yes it is, Oh yes it is,
I am suddenly in alarm
to watch the sticky gooey
cold st..."

I'M DEAD. I CAN'T BREATHE.

[[deleted user]]

RedPath wrote: "Cara [I don't need a parachute] wrote: "That's the best thing I've ever read, Brigid.

Speaking of cat fetishes...
I HIT THE JACKPOT. IT'S A SONG MY DAD AND I WROTE ABOUT WHAT WOULD HAPPEN TO MY..."

:3 *tackles*

[Maria [the clockwork creeps on useless lives], Butts butts]

♥ Brigid ♥ wrote: "Ooh, found it!!!

Melting Ice Cream

Oh, Ice Cream, Oh Ice Cream,
How sad it is, How sad it is,
To see you melt,
Oh yes it is, Oh yes it is,
I am suddenly in alarm
to watch the sticky gooey
cold st..."

THIS IS THE MOST AMAZING THING I HAVE EVER SET EYES ON.
Laughing so hard I'm crying.

[Maria [the clockwork creeps on useless lives], Butts butts]

Cara [I don't need a parachute] wrote: "Maria [Athazagoraphobia!] wrote: "When did you guys write this?XD

It's pure brilliance."

I can't remember. I'm guessing I was 7-ish.

I found the comic books I used to make *headdesk forever*"

I need to see these.

[Elliott]

This is from when I was eight. So... 3rd grade, I think. No, second. I'm bad at Math.


4-30-04
I am very sad. Even more sad than me is Rebekah. Rebekah's George Brett Baseball is gone. It had very interesting facts about him. Rebekah loved it. Now it's gone! We think someone stole it. I am sad because Rebekah is sad.

5-4-04
Oh boy! Brandt and Tanner and Alex think that I like Alex. The truth is he is very cute and I think he is a very good boy, friend. As in a boy that is your friend.

Holy freaking crap. I dated Alex, yes, this very same Alex for about two weeks this year. This is so weird.

Oh look. One of my first crushes. This is interesting.
4-21-06
I am so crazy! I put that Ben is a cute hottie in the back of my diary. I MUST have a mega crush on him. I wish Ben would come to [my school, that I still go to which is why I can't put the name on here.] Then I would see him every day!!! That would be totally AWESOME! Ben rocks! O.K., am I really going crazy for a BOY!??! I have no idea why I <3 Ben so much. It's more than that he's cute, even though he totally is. He's not really nice to girls, so I don't think I like him because he is nice to me. It's just confusing. I wrote Ben's name in the cover 34 TIMES!!! 35 times... 36 times... 37 times... O.K. I'll stop now.

Oh my word. Flipping through my diary... I liked this kid for 3 years. 4th, 5th, and 6th. And then this summer I started liking him again... oh wow. This is weird.

[Brigid ✩, No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader.]

Maria [Athazagoraphobia!] wrote: "THIS IS THE MOST AMAZING THING I HAVE EVER SET EYES ON.
Laughing so hard I'm crying. "

I know right? haaaaaa! :D
I totally forgotten I'd written it for, like, eight years. And then I Googled my name and found it and I was like "OH GOD!"
… The scariest thing is, it won first place in a poetry contest I entered at the local library. THOSE DIRTY LIBRARIANS.

[[deleted user]]

Maria [Athazagoraphobia!] wrote: "Cara [I don't need a parachute] wrote: "Maria [Athazagoraphobia!] wrote: "When did you guys write this?XD

It's pure brilliance."

I can't remember. I'm guessing I was 7-ish.

I found the comic boo..."

I have a folder of all my old writing stuff. I am bringing it to you next time >:)

And a poem from fourth grade:

Turtles

Turtle, turtle, turtle,
swim around,
warm up on
the rocks
Turtle
turtle
turtle
swim
around some more
turtle
turtle turtle
I wish
I had
one as a
pet

[Elliott]

Cara [I don't need a parachute] wrote: "Maria [Athazagoraphobia!] wrote: "Cara [I don't need a parachute] wrote: "Maria [Athazagoraphobia!] wrote: "When did you guys write this?XD

It's pure brilliance."

I can't remember. I'm guessing I..."

Cara, you genius child. XD

[Maria [the clockwork creeps on useless lives], Butts butts]

Lav [these currents are still killing me] wrote: "This is from when I was eight. So... 3rd grade, I think. No, second. I'm bad at Math.


4-30-04
I am very sad. Even more sad than me is Rebekah. Rebekah's George Brett Baseball is gone. It had ve..."

Woah that's weird. O_O

Lav, don't be creepy. Writing a boy's name 37 times?XD

[Elliott]

I was obsessive even back then! Oh dear. Hayden is very lucky I didn't know him when I was a young child. Very lucky indeed.

[[deleted user]]

Lav [these currents are still killing me] wrote: "This is from when I was eight. So... 3rd grade, I think. No, second. I'm bad at Math.


4-30-04
I am very sad. Even more sad than me is Rebekah. Rebekah's George Brett Baseball is gone. It had ve..."

I love you.

[Maria [the clockwork creeps on useless lives], Butts butts]

Cara [I don't need a parachute] wrote: "Maria [Athazagoraphobia!] wrote: "Cara [I don't need a parachute] wrote: "Maria [Athazagoraphobia!] wrote: "When did you guys write this?XD

It's pure brilliance."

I can't remember. I'm guessing I..."

YES YES YESYES I CAN'T WAIT.

[[deleted user]]

♥ Brigid ♥ wrote: "Maria [Athazagoraphobia!] wrote: "THIS IS THE MOST AMAZING THING I HAVE EVER SET EYES ON.
Laughing so hard I'm crying. "

I know right? haaaaaa! :D
I totally forgotten I'd written it for, like, eig..."

Oh my god. That's the best thing I've heard all day.

[Maria [the clockwork creeps on useless lives], Butts butts]

♥ Brigid ♥ wrote: "Maria [Athazagoraphobia!] wrote: "THIS IS THE MOST AMAZING THING I HAVE EVER SET EYES ON.
Laughing so hard I'm crying. "

I know right? haaaaaa! :D
I totally forgotten I'd written it for, like, eig..."

Ahahahahahaha.XD

[Maria [the clockwork creeps on useless lives], Butts butts]

Like a creeper, I searched you and I have the page.
What prize did you get from Emack and Bolio's ice cream?:P

[[deleted user]]

My political views were already forming as a fourth grader... sheesh (this is an essay thingy I wrote about how the government had been reading emails and stuff). I was so paranoid.

Title: NO

I don't like it when people get into my business , Mr. Bush could be reading my personall e-mails to my friends back home. I'm a NO!(underlined twice) for eavesdropping without legal permission. I could be on a "security camera," right now! It's more like a snooping camera. The school has 2 security cameras that I know about. they need to see who comes in andout. Stores have security cameras to see if anybody has shoplifted. the government say they're only monitoring oversea e-mails (ext...) [I think I meant etc... XD] they could be reading any e-mails or phone calls Shouldn't they stop? Isn't that against the law? Are we loosing our freedom? What will they do next? My cousin's name is on the terrorrist list. They didn't look at birth dates. He's 8! If he get's an e-mail address and e-mails me will Bush snoop on it? I think

[Elliott]

I love you Cara. You're amazing. Holy flip, I love you. WHY WEREN'T WE FRIENDS WHEN YOU LIVED IN KANSAS? Ahem. Yes. I like little you very much.

[Elliott]

Oh dear. I wrote this after my dad yelled at me once when I was younger. I was a very bitter... angry child.

6-27-06
I wish Daddy would leave and never come back I hate him. He is so mean I wish he would die. He is always yelling at me like a crazy maniac, and he never yells at Garret the stupid kid who whisles like a broken cookoo clock. Daddy was like all- wait. OK, I was all

Never mind, but Daddy is a big-fat-grumpy-meany pants and I wish he would be nice or leave or something. (I then drew this very unflattering goofy mean picture thing.)

I did not mean what I wrote. It is just he gets really grumpy sometimes and yells at me.

Apparently I felt guilty so I added that.

[Maria [the clockwork creeps on useless lives], Butts butts]

Oh, Cara. I love you.

[Maria [the clockwork creeps on useless lives], Butts butts]

Lav [these currents are still killing me] wrote: "Oh dear. I wrote this after my dad yelled at me once when I was younger. I was a very bitter... angry child.

6-27-06
I wish Daddy would leave and never come back I hate him. He is so mean I wish ..."

Ohhhh my.

[Elliott]

Thank goodness we've moved on past that stage of our lives. Heh heh. Yeaaah.

Although the part about Garret made me bust out laughing when I read it.

[Hannah]

Seriously? Fifty new comments? I wasn't even gone that long! :P Well, off to read everyone's old writing...

[Hannah]

Whoa. All of you were so much better than I was at those ages. o________o And I'm not even kidding. In fifth grade I'm pretty sure I got a negative three out of four on a writing assignment, but everyone tells me that's impossible...

I used to have so many picture diaries. Drawing used to be half of my life. I drew all the time, I wanted to be an artist, and my diary was just filled with comics and whatnot. Sadly, none of these diaries are to be found. ><" I've looked for them for years. They were treasures to me. Gah.

[Hannah]

Rebekka: Is your profile picture from a show called The Misadventures of Flapjack? :3 My brother watches it, and admittedly I've seen it a few times too.

[RedPath]

Oh my O.O

[RedPath]

Oh, and I accidently lied when I said I didn't have anything I wrote as a child. I looked around my room a bit and found some old lil' stories and things from my youth.

Yeah, it's...lovely.

[GSGS]

XP These are all hilarious. All my attempts at writing are on the home computer... and I can't be bothered retrieving them...

Maybe some other time.

[Talia]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH I found my old diary from 3rd grade:

"I can't find my tamagotchis! HELP! I'll die if I don't!"

"I broke my reed! WHAT SHALL I DOOOOOOOO?!"

"Giant frog will eat all stupid people in the world (-__-) "

[Brigid ✩, No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader.]

Maria [Athazagoraphobia!] wrote: "Like a creeper, I searched you and I have the page.
What prize did you get from Emack and Bolio's ice cream?:P"

Um, free ice cream. :)
Gosh, I miss Emack and Bolio's. It was only there for, like, a year, but they had awesome ice creaaaam.

[Brigid ✩, No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader.]

Cara [I don't need a parachute] wrote: "My political views were already forming as a fourth grader... sheesh (this is an essay thingy I wrote about how the government had been reading emails and stuff). I was so paranoid.

Title: NO

I..."

Haha! That's great :D
I didn't know what the Patriot Act was until … uh … last year. I'm really behind on these things. >_<

[Brigid ✩, No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader.]

Lav [these currents are still killing me] wrote: "Oh dear. I wrote this after my dad yelled at me once when I was younger. I was a very bitter... angry child.

6-27-06
I wish Daddy would leave and never come back I hate him. He is so mean I wish ..."

LOL! I am giggling like a crazy person. I love "whistles like a broken cuckoo clock" XD

[Isaac]

Here's an AWFUL romance I wrote in fifth grade. IT IS AWFUL AWFUL AWFUL AWFUL AWFUL.

http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/2...

[Natasha (ar y ffin)]

I have old writing, I just can't find it. When I do, I will post it.

[Shreya=Drastically Random. Find the emoticon.]

X( I THINK I JUST FOUND MY STORY FROM GRADE 1 THAT I WON A WRITING CONTEST WITH. MAN, IT WAS HORRIBLE.