Young Writers discussion
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Make fun of my old writing.
Brigid *Flying Kick-a-pow!* wrote: "Emily wrote: "Brigid *Flying Kick-a-pow!* wrote: "Speaking of which! I've been meaning to look for some of my horrible middle school poetry and I finally found some of it. Hooray! And during my sea..."I found it and omg I totally have an emo poem that makes me cringe *slowly headdesks*
So, just to be clear, some of the stuff I've written in the past is just littered with mixed tenses and misspelled words.And since this is a "make fun of my work", I'm no longer ashamed to be associated with this:
http://www.wattpad.com/story/700581-d...
I wrote it long, long ago.
Zanib, mind if I add you on wattpad? /stalkerIt sounds a bit... I'm not sure if the word is "cheesy"? And the date distracted me a bit.
Celofán wrote: "Zanib, mind if I add you on wattpad? /stalkerIt sounds a bit... I'm not sure if the word is "cheesy"? And the date distracted me a bit."
No, I don't mind :D I haven't been on for a while. And I am well aware that my story is crap XD But it's perfect for this thread, lol.
One question tho: how do you people make those covers? I have like zero experience with image manipulation. Do you hire someone, or...?
I make them myself. Having photoshop has its many benefits. If you ever want, I can make covers for you. It's usually what I do on Wattpad these days: making covers for others.
message 658:
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Brigid ✩, No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader.
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Mod
No no, that one I wrote when I was 12. But haha, thanks. I mean, it's not horrible, just ... very melodramatic. :P
message 659:
by
Brigid ✩, No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader.
(new)
Mod
Most of us make our own or make them for each other. I personally use Photoshop, but for people who don't have it there are decent free online photo editors ... I used to use Picnik (which is now Ribbet) and sometimes FotoFlexer.
If you'd like someone else in the group to make a cover for you, you can go to the Book Cover Requests topic.
Also if you have any more questions on the subject, please post them in that topic and not here (since it's not relevant to this particular discussion). Thanks! ;)
Emily wrote: "How little were you? Because it's still pretty well-written."Um... 10, I think. Maybe 11. It was a long time ago...
I was leafing through my old school journals and I found a song that I wrote about how Michael Jackson's memory will live on (even though he had just recently died). O_o *sigh* Why did I have to be such a weird child? I'm pretty sure the song has absolutely no rhyme scheme, and I haven't the slightest clue what the melody was when I "composed" it.
Don't feel too bad. We had to write a poem about the moon in fourth grade and everyone's ended up being one or two stanzas but mine was four pages long.
Okay..... Here's mine from like, 6th grade (I have progressed miracuously in the past year....)Chapter One; The New Girl
Natalie raced up the steps to Fernway Elementary. She was already late on her first day! Let alone being the new girl. She looked at the note again. It said,
“You are in Mrs. Hanks sixth grade class, on your first day, you will need to report to the secretary so they can escort you to your class. You are welcome here, and we think you will make plenty of friends, have fun!”
Yeah right. She thought. Last year, she had no friends at all. During recess, she just sat in the music room helping with the instruments. She looked up.
“I wish I could move back to the country, I don’t belong in the big city.” She walked in the two story building, that apparently would be her school for the next year.
“Hello, Natalie! It is a pleasure to meet you, how is everything going so far?”
“Great!”
She looked around the office. The lady who was talking to her looked about in her mid-twenties. She wore hot pink high heels, an orange pencil skirt, A red blouse, and her nails were painted yellow. She wore too much makeup, and had long light brown hair. Altogether, she looked like fall leaves got glued to her, which was probably fashionable this time of year, but Natalie had no clue whatsoever.
“My name is Ms. Banager. I’m the principal!”
That woman is too perky. And she’s my principal? Ugh. She thought.
Ms. Banager lead Natalie to her class and introduced her. The first thing Natalie noticed was a boy sitting in the back row. He had blonde hair, and was wearing a blue shirt that said, “Football is a real sport” printed in green letters. He had on jeans and what looked liked old gym sneakers.
He’s pretty cute...hmm... Natalie was thinking hard.
“Um, Natalie, sweetie, are you OK there?”
The class started laughing.
“Oh, sorry, can you repeat that?”
“I said, tell the class about yourself!”
“Um, Ok, I guess...” She paused for a minute. That was not the way to start a day. She cleared her throat and in her southern accent began, “Well, I’m from Texas, I lived in the country.”
“Figures, a flyover state.” a girl in the front row muttered. Natalie continued,
“I was the best at art in my class, and I play the guitar, violin, cello, and piano. I also sing!”
“Well that’s interesting, do you think you can participate in school talent show in May?” Mrs. Hanks, her teacher asked.
“Sure!”
“Well, that’s great, Why don’t you take a seat next to Landon?” Natalie looked around. Then she saw the really cute boy that caught her eye, he was waving to her.
Uh Oh, I have to sit by him? Why don’t ya’ just kill me now?
Chapter 2; The Words in Pen
Natalie walked to the back of the room and sat in her seat. She said hi to Landon but didn't dare say another word. They were doing math. She hated math. But Natalie wasn’t listening, she was thinking.
Why am I feeling all shy around a boy? I’ve never done this...Maybe I’m sick, or worse, am I in love for the first time? This can’t be happening. He probably likes that girl in the front row. She’s mighty pretty. I don’t have a chance with him! I’m just a small town girl. He’s from the big city!
She felt a tap on her shoulder. Then she saw a note on her desk. She looked at Landon. He nodded toward the note. Her hands were shaking as she opened it as quietly as she could. Then, she read the neatly printed words.
Hey, my name is Landon. Ya’ know that girl in the front row, with the red hair in a braid? Her name is Cheryl, don’t worry about her. She has a major crush on me and she’s a jerk. She is always picking on pretty girls that could “show her up.” Just stay away from her and you will have a great time here!
He really thought she was pretty? Wow, maybe he does like me! She thought. She quickly wrote back,
Thanks! You’re nice. I will stay away from her, don’t worry! My name is Natalie Wall. I lived on a farm so I was in a really small school. My parents thought I would be happier here. With more people, ya’ know...
She carefully placed it on his desk so no one would see. Landon smiled, then wrote something on the lined paper, and handed it back to her. She was feeling a little better about moving!
You will have a great time here, I promise. Will you sit with me at lunch? You seem really neat! I bet you had a lot of friends at your old school! Oh, and I forgot to mention, I play the guitar too!
She decided she couldn’t tell a lie, she had no friends at her old school! So, she wrote,
Sure, I’ll sit with you at lunch! And I didn’t really have any friends at my old school, so i’m really glad you asked me to sit with you! Are you to the point where you can write songs on the guitar? I am!
She handed it to him. Then he wrote something and was handing it to her when Mrs. Hanks was turning around.
Uh Oh. Now we are going to get in trouble. This is bad!
“Landon, I know Natalie is new and really cute, but you know the rules, hand me the note.”
They were both blushing as he walked to the front of the room. She read it, then Mrs. Hanks said, “I feel like I should read this one aloud, to teach all of you a lesson.”
Mrs. Hanks was blabbing along, while Cheryl gave Natalie the evil eye.
Just great, I find a friend, and then I get him in trouble. Just my luck.
Chapter 3; The Food Fiasco
Natalie waited in the lunch line. She kept leaning to the side to get a glimpse of what was for lunch, and to see what table Landon was at. The girl in front of her turned around and silently said, “My name is Callie, what’s yours? I haven’t seen you here before.”
“I’m Natalie, I’m new here. I’m in....” She was about to tell Calliewhat class she was in, but she interrupted her.
“Mrs. Hanks class. I know.”
“How do you know that?”
“Word got around that you are sitting with Landon today.”
“Oh, well, who told you?”
“Landon, we’ve been friends since second grade. Cheryl hates me because of that.”
“That’s sad... She has already given me the evil eye.”
“Figures, you're very pretty. She goes after the pretty girls.”
“What do you mean?”
“She doesn't like anyone who can have even the slightest chance with Landon. She’s obsessed over him!”
Wow, this girl knows her stuff! And she’s pretty nice! I just hope she doesn’t mention the accent...
“Hey, I think Landon mentioned something about you... He couldn’t stop talking about how pretty and nice you are. Oh, and I like your accent, it’s cute!”
Darn it! I hate my accent, but why can’t I shake it? Wait... what did she say?
“Landon thinks I’m pretty? Really? He really said that?”
“You like him don’t you?” Then she left before Natalie could say anything.
Odd, why did she leave? Natalie said to herself.
She grabbed her tray and an apple and started to walk around to find Landon when Cheryl stopped her. Natalie tried to walk around her, but it wouldn’t work. then, Cheryl started talking.
“Hey Natalie, I heard you’re new here! Do you want to sit by me today?”
“I’m sorry, but I promised Landon, Do you know where he sits?”
“Yeah, but, Hon, at least let me introduce myself! I’m the richest person in the school, and Landon likes me, so cry me a river, build a bridge, and GET OVER IT!”
Everybody was looking at them.
“Um... Excuse me? I didn’t do anything to you!”
Two girls walked up behind Natalie.
“Hi, I’m Sue.”
“And I’m Havana.” Natalie turned to face them.Sue had brown hair, and was really tall. Natalie saw her hanging out with Cheryl at recess, But she didn’t recognize Havana. She had long black hair, and was kind of short. They said at the same time,
“Girl, it looks like you could use a makeover, mustard would look good on you!” Then she felt a cold substance on her back. She turned around, and realized what was happening.
This was the wrong day to wear my white dress.
She looked at her clothes, and almost started crying. “My Granny made this for me before...she...” Natalie ran out of the cafeteria with Landon right on her tail.
“Nat! Wait! Come here!” Landon yelled so loud, everyone was shocked.
“No! I knew moving here was a bad idea!” She ran out the door and onto the soccer field. Landon grabbed her arm.
“Nat, I’m sorry, OK? I should’ve stood in the line with you. It’s all my fault.”
“No, it’s not your fault, it’s mine.” She felt hot tears stinging her eyes.
I hate this city. I hate this school, and I hate my life.
Chapter 4; The Prophecy Book
Natalie sat down on the cool, green grass. Landon plopped down beside her. “Do you want to talk about it?” Landon asked.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, what’s so special about that dress?”
Natalie paused for a second.
What if he thinks I’m some kind of baby? Oh Natalie, just stop wondering what he thinks for a minute, he’s just a boy! It doesn’t matter what he thinks.
“Well, my Granny made it for me before she died. And it was all my fault that she did. I was alone with her. This was just last month. She had just finished making the dress. Then, well, it sounded like she couldn't breathe, She started panicking. I couldn’t find the phone in time to call the ambulance, so...” There was an awkward moment of silence, then Landon said,
“That could’ve happened to anybody ya’ know.”
“I guess it could. Thanks Landon, You’re pretty swell!”
“Hey,you OK Natalie?” Callie had followed them.
“Yeah, a little better.”
“That’s great! And Landon, I found a new prophecy we can work on!”
“Sweet! Does it look easy?”
“No, it looks like it will be our hardest.” Natalie was confused.
What in the world are those two talking about?
“Ya’ll are confusing me here. What’s going on?” She asked.
Landon whispered to Callie, “Should we let her in?”
“Yep! OK Natalie, Landon and I have this prophecy book.” Callie pulled out a thick, tattered book that looked about a 100 years old. “We found it buried in my backyard in fourth grade. We were digging a grave for my pet hamster. Now, we solve prophecies. But this looks like a toughie.” She opened the book to a page with drawings and words in a foreign language on it.
“ Looks like Mayan writing. We’ll have to run it through Google Translate.” Landon said, carefully examining the writing.
“How do you know that?” Natalie asked.
“We’ve tried a lot, but we have never really solved any prophecies before.” Callie replied.
Just...... Horrible............. *facepalm*. Later in the book, Natalie and Landon become a thing. *Shivers* why did I write that monstrosity?!
Well, my dystopia (which is still not great) started as an RP last year. I feel sorry for the other participant, having to sit through the mess I made of it...some of its many faults were:
a)my character's last name was literally, I kid you not: Trap-setter. WHY? It's since been changed to Hartford.
b) The character in question was just not developed and kept dying, only to miraculously come back.
c) If the RP hadn't died, I would have added aliens that were the cause of the dystopia. Now I just think, "Seriously?"
a)my character's last name was literally, I kid you not: Trap-setter. WHY? It's since been changed to Hartford.
b) The character in question was just not developed and kept dying, only to miraculously come back.
c) If the RP hadn't died, I would have added aliens that were the cause of the dystopia. Now I just think, "Seriously?"
The horrors of my maybe-11-year-old self trying nonfiction.
"The Big Book of character Development
The first thing about a character is his or her name. Remember the 4 Big Ones:
1) If there's a famous book in your book's genre, don't use the same name. For example, don't name your fantasy person Harry, or your survival-story guy Brian.
2) Be more creative with Fictional Weirdo than with a kid-after all, the story characters can't be embarrassed by a name like Bubbles-but try to avoid Mulayuh.
3) You can use Fen, Finn, and Finian, but do not use 6 Joeys, even if that's your favorite name. Also, Leander, Lee, and Leith shouldn't be in the same novel.
4) Don't be afraid to make up names (within reason)! Fiara! Kennifer!"
And that was just the first page. I was writing about the similar names from experience. :P
"The Big Book of character Development
The first thing about a character is his or her name. Remember the 4 Big Ones:
1) If there's a famous book in your book's genre, don't use the same name. For example, don't name your fantasy person Harry, or your survival-story guy Brian.
2) Be more creative with Fictional Weirdo than with a kid-after all, the story characters can't be embarrassed by a name like Bubbles-but try to avoid Mulayuh.
3) You can use Fen, Finn, and Finian, but do not use 6 Joeys, even if that's your favorite name. Also, Leander, Lee, and Leith shouldn't be in the same novel.
4) Don't be afraid to make up names (within reason)! Fiara! Kennifer!"
And that was just the first page. I was writing about the similar names from experience. :P
Allison wrote: "Wow......"
IKR? It's hard to believe I actually posted that cheesiness online....
IKR? It's hard to believe I actually posted that cheesiness online....
More of my Big Book, haha.
"Now think of appearance and history.
Don't-ever-copy a character you loved. Or hated. Or...well, anyhow, here's two plays:
BAD
Writey1: I <3 HP! I'm gonna make my unoriginal character have black hair, green eyes, and a scar!
GOOD:
Writey2: Maybe i'll stick to reading about Fireheart and not make a story about a ginger tom who leads a bunch of other cats.
You could combine history and looks! In Wonder by R.J. Palacio, Auggie's appearance makes the story what it is."
WHY WHY WHY?
"Now think of appearance and history.
Don't-ever-copy a character you loved. Or hated. Or...well, anyhow, here's two plays:
BAD
Writey1: I <3 HP! I'm gonna make my unoriginal character have black hair, green eyes, and a scar!
GOOD:
Writey2: Maybe i'll stick to reading about Fireheart and not make a story about a ginger tom who leads a bunch of other cats.
You could combine history and looks! In Wonder by R.J. Palacio, Auggie's appearance makes the story what it is."
WHY WHY WHY?
The final part of Big Book, as I call it. I made this more recently, so it's not as bad, but it was sadly unfinished...
"Mary Sue Check
A Mary Sue is a character who is too perfect.
1. Does your character get everything he or she wants?
2. Does your character lack flaws?"
"Mary Sue Check
A Mary Sue is a character who is too perfect.
1. Does your character get everything he or she wants?
2. Does your character lack flaws?"
Allison wrote: "Okay..... Here's mine from like, 6th grade (I have progressed miracuously in the past year....)Chapter One; The New Girl
Natalie raced up the steps to Fernway Elementary. She was already late on..."
You know whats funny about the teacher saying "I know Natalie`s new and really cute..." and embarassing him?
Kinda reminds me of an expreiance when I was in sixth grade and the teacher yelled at some boy to,"Stop looking a the pretty girl and do your work."
LOL, good times.
I tried to write a Q&A book around last year....I won't even bother with the questions, but the introduction is weird.
"This is a book to train your brain on many different subjects, from math to nutrition and many that are much more interesting than either of those. So....
(in big letters)
Get Quizzing!
(end of big letters)
'cause you'll learn about everything from alligators to zygotes, from bananas to yellow!"
(as far as I remember, there were no questions about alligators, zygotes, bananas or the color yellow.)
"This is a book to train your brain on many different subjects, from math to nutrition and many that are much more interesting than either of those. So....
(in big letters)
Get Quizzing!
(end of big letters)
'cause you'll learn about everything from alligators to zygotes, from bananas to yellow!"
(as far as I remember, there were no questions about alligators, zygotes, bananas or the color yellow.)
Lol! Oh my gosh your Character Development Book. I didn't even care about character development.
When I was nine I wrote."and when the plane was ten feet from the ground, she found a parotshot and jumped off."
idek.
Charlie wrote: "When I was nine I wrote."and when the plane was ten feet from the ground, she found a parotshot and jumped off."
idek."
That's amazing.
I wrote a really weird song when I was little:Friends make me super happy
Now! Now! Cool, now!
Rock on friends!
They help you,
You play with them!
Friends!
Come on!
I was a weird child... very perky.
https://s.yimg.com/vw/api/res/1.2/uDL...Last year I had to write a poem about the picture above. Being the weird, morbid child I was and still am, instead of writing about friendship and love a cute stuff like that like the others students did, this is what I wrote.
"Dinner"
A raccoon stares down
Drooling over what he found
A kitty in his arms like a child
His lips twist into a smile
Proud of his catch, feeling like a winner
He screams
"Honey, it`s time for dinner!"
Dang, I`m one creepy kid to make something creepy out of a cute picture like that. LOL, even my parent are scared of my writing. Wonder why.
Emily wrote: "I'M SO EXCITED BECAUSE MY MOM FOUND ONE OF MY FIRST GRADE JOURNALS AND I FINALLY FOUND THE STORY I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR FOR YEARSI'll leave in the mistakes to enhance the story.
---
Once there w..."
Weird, but I`ve gotta give you points for creativity. I mean, that has got to be the craziest story I have ever read.
Brigid *Flying Kick-a-pow!* wrote: "I just remembered this crazy story I wrote when I was 11, and I don't think I've ever posted any of it here ... It was about this girl whose dad got transported to another world by a magic elevator..."That actually wasn`t that bad, but that vomiting part.. eew! Could you have possibly done a more grotesque description. "Brown slime pouring out of her mouth?" Eeeew!
Kaylani wrote: "want to see a really horrible poem? (not sure y'all are ready for the horribleness.) please be willing to make fun of this as much as possible :P
THE POEM...
That`s actually pretty good.
She's turned into the person
that ..."
Anastasia [I'm Wonderstruck...] wrote: "I had to.
I'm not saying ALL high-schoolers write like this (I'm sure all of the ones in this group don't) but these were too funny NOT to post. XD"
OMG these are hysterical. Number six was my fav.
Gosh, guys. I was a really weird child.Cinderelaphant. Who wants to read it?
Here`s a really weird essay I wrote in sixth grade."Why I Want A Tail"
I think it would be really cool to have a tail. If I was irritated at someone I could smack them with it. Whether it`s my mom nagging me, my sister going on and on about work, or (annoying kid at school who I won`t name for safty reasons) just being a (annoying kid at school who I won`t name for safty reasons) I will always have my form of defense.
I could maybe jump up in the air, spin my tail round and round a float away like a helicopter. Weee! My tail could hold stuff and be like an extra hand. I could use it to show people how I feel. If it wags, I`m happy. If it`s down, I`m sad or sick. If it`s between my legs I`m guilty, like a dog! With all being said, I would really love to have a tail.
"Queenie was so fat. She was 500 pounds. She broke the slide, because the weight limit was only 250 pounds."My second grade mind........ (That was an expert from Cinderelaphant.)
Allison post Cinderelaphant post it!!!!
Guys, I'm reading back through everything and I laughed for five minutes straight.
I will try to find it............ Somewhere in my Memories Box.I will be back....
Cinderelliaphant (that is how I spelled it and I will keep in the spelling errors)Dedicated to: my stuffed animals. Because they helped me come up with the settings, charitars.
One day a princess named Cinderelliaphant met a prince named Edwardphant in the park.
She was an elephant with big ears and a yellow dress.
Prince Edwardphant was boring. ((Insert weird pic of a person/elephant telling a butterfly to go away))
Cinderelliaphant had been with her sister Queeniephant her sis at the park. Queeniephant was five. Queenie was so fat. She was 500 pounds. She broke the slide, because the weight limit was only 250 pounds.
Today, Queeniephant looked the same as Cinderelliaphant. She was on the slide ((major plot hole)). "Uh oh!" CRASH! The slide broke.
Cinderelliaphant won't marry him said her pet Catie1. The Caties were trying to trick Cinderelliaphant into marrying Edwardphant. They thought if they played some tricks on her, she would think that it was Edwardphant and not think he was boring.
So the three Caties put syrup on the stairs.
They put red ants in her food.
They put mice in her bed.
I'm done.
Wow, those Caties are awfully mean. xD
I don't even know WHAT they are. I think cats....maybe......
sounds hilarious maybe catties is what you meant?
Here`s another stupid story I wrote in sixth grade."Santa The Hippo"
Santa Claus` bag had never ripped till Christmas of 2008. It had all started when a little boy named Joe heard the song, "I want a Hippopotamus for Christmas," and decided he really wanted one. Instead of putting a zillion things on his list, he only asked for a hippopotamus, so Santa would have no choice but to give him one. When Santa received the lists, he was worried. His sack was pretty big, but not large enough for a hippo and all those presents. But sadly, he had no choice. Santa was required to give each child one thing on his or her list, if not he would be fired. So on Christmas Eve he set off, hippo and all. When he flew over young Joe`s house, his bag ripped and everything tumbled down the chimney, and Santa followed. He was surprised to see Joe, buried under all the gifts, crying. "I`m sorry," he sobbed. "I shouldn`t have asked for a hippo." "it`s okay," Santa said. "Here you go," Joe said, handing him his blanket. Santa used his magic to make a new bag. Joe named his new hippo Santa.
You kow what`s funny? When I was in elementary school, we never really wrote anything fictional, just essays and we were taught to use this method where we start with a question, like this."Do you have a favorite color? I have a favorite color. My favorite color is purple. Wanna know why? Well, read on my friend.
My favorite color is purple. Why? Cause it`s purple. And purple is my favorite color.
Why cause it`s pretty. In my opinion, purple is the prettiest color in the universe. And I love it.....
LOL, it usually wasn`t that bad as the example I provided, but you get the gist. Anyway, that method sucked in general, and by the time we got to middle school, the teachers were like, "If you write like that, I`m am gonna tear out my hair. Lord help us, that is aweful!' Haha
OH MY GOODNESS I CAN'T WAIT! :D
And haha me too ... I'm such a hoarder when it comes to my writing. I think I've kept almost everything I've written since I was like 8 or 9. A lot of it is just on my computer, but I used to have three huge desk drawers just filled with notebooks and random scraps of paper ... My sister moved it all and I have no idea where it is now. Probably in the basement somewhere.