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Make fun of my old writing.
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Brigid ✩, No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader.
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Haha, I didn't often write about psychic talking mice though. Most of the stuff I wrote was pretty average tweenage writing ... like a lot of really bad epic-fantasy type stuff with dragons and unicorns and fairies and everything. I just had the occasional WTF moment. XD
When I first joined when I was 11, I had just finished this western romance that I thought was brilliant. Now I just laugh at it.Here's an excerpt from Chapter 2. In Chapter 1, you meet the main character who is rescued twice by both future romantic interests, one being an outlaw. She goes on a date wih both on them the next chapter (and for some reason no one cares that an outlaw is just walking around town). Here's the ending for Chapter 2:
That night, I went out to hang some laundry up when I heard someone singing. I wasn’t very sure who it was, but it was enchanting. It was a gentle, soothing male voice that sang:
Your hair is as golden as an angel’s,
Your eyes are the crystals of the sea.
Your face as delicate as a rose,
I wish you were for me.
You are a dream come true,
And I want you to know:
True love comes from within you.
That’s just the way it goes.
I looked around to see who was singing that, and finally saw someone sitting behind the bank, which was only about two buildings away from our house.
I walked over, and saw Fox sitting there, smiling when he saw me. He started playing again, and I drew closer. I came so close, my face was in his face, and I closed my eyes and felt his breath. It was so warm and relaxed. I smiled and hoped it wasn’t a dream.
If you truly love me,
My dear,
You have to tell yourself
To come near.
I won’t hurt you;
For you’re too lovely.
But to really express your love,
Please kiss me.
“Yes,” I whispered, and my lips drew closer to his. I felt both our breaths, together; united; joined as one. I surrounded myself in his love until my mother cried, “Annabelle! Where are you?”
I opened my eyes and jerked my head back. “What am I doing?” I cried out. I had a huge rage against Fox and smacked him in the face. “What are you doing?” I screamed. “I can’t do this right now! I have work! We barely know each other!” I stomped off, but looked back and saw Fox’s hurt expression. I gulped and realized what I did was totally uncalled for. But I couldn’t undo the past, so I had to deal with it.
I think I should post this whole story on this topic because it had tbe worst love triangle ever.
OH DEAR GOODNESS IN CHAPTER THREE HER FRIEND GETS RANDOMLY MARRIED HER MOM GETS RANDOMLH PREGNANT SHE GETS RANDOMLY KIDNAPPED AND VICTOR CONFESSES HIS LOVE FOR HER
It's not awesome. It's hilariously terrible.It's on Goodreads and I'll post it some time, but keep in mind that for some reason SHE'S 14 YEARS OLD
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING
Emily wrote: "It's not awesome. It's hilariously terrible.It's on Goodreads and I'll post it some time, but keep in mind that for some reason SHE'S 14 YEARS OLD
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING"
You MUST POST THE REST. I NEED TO READ IT.
"I had a huge rage against Fox and smacked him in the face."
This is my favorite part. I love the way it's worded. XD
I KNOWI STARTED LAUGHING SO HARD WHEN I READ THAT LINE
OH DEAR GOODNESS I NEED TO POST CHAPTER THREE AND CHAPTER SIX
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Brigid ✩, No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader.
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Haaaaa, maybe.
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Here's an excerpt from Chapter 2. In Chapter 1, you meet the ma..."
HAHAHA I love this.
I had a huge rage against Fox and smacked him in the face.
So beautiful.
Emily wrote: "I'LL POST MORE SOMETIME"YAAAAY!
I'm going to treat you to some more of my old writing that aren't my first romances.This one isn't supposed to be serious. It was an assignment in my keyboarding class in sixth grade. We were given the first two paragraphs, and we had to finish it.
"The Terrifying Taco
It happened on a rainy day. I rushed into the restaurant and ordered my usual, two soft tacos and a cola. In no time at all, I gobbled the first taco and guzzled half my soda.
As I got ready to unwrap the paper from the second taco, I heard a soft voice whisper, "Please, don't eat me."
The warning didn't do any good. I ignored the voice and took a big bite out of the taco. I had never tasted a better taco. After swallowing the first bit, I noticed that I could no long see my arms or hands. I could feel them, but not see them. Still, I could not rests eating that taco. I took another bite. Now my legs disappeared. What was going on here? I was getting very upset. Should I finish my taco? Would I become visible again? Then I heard the soft voice hiss, "I told you not to eat me." I was terrified!
I had no clue what to do! I took another bite, and my bottom half of my body disappeared! I held my scream back as best as I could. I still didn't know what I should do!
Then I ran into the bathroom, taking my taco with me. I went into a stall, and locked the door. "What do I do?!" I shouted at the taco. No response. "WHAT DO I DO?!?!" I screamed again.
Then, in a raspy voice, it answered, "How do you get rid of food you've already eaten?"
I thought for a moment, and said, "That'll take hours!"
"Another way?"
I thought again. "NO!!!" I screamed.
"Too late! Too late!" the taco laughed.
Then, I did what I had too. I swallowed the taco--er, the remains of it.
The taco did NOT take that well. "Who turned the lights out?" it asked. "Why is there something wet--wait, is that... soda? Wait a minute... no, no. This can't be happening!"
"Ha, ha!" I said in triumph. "Your days of making me invisible are over!"
"I can't be digested!" it screamed in terror. Then, all I could imagine is the taco smirking. "But look in a mirror," it snarled. I slowly opened up the door... walked out into the restroom... went to the sinks and...
"AAAAAHHHHH!!!!! WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?!?!?!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.
"You are completely invisible!" the taco laughed manically.
I ran out into the restaurant, where the lady behind the counter was picking my food up. "No, wait!" I shouted. The lady looked confused. "It's me! I'm back!" I shouted again. The lady looked around. I took a breath and did what I had to do. "I'm a ghost, and if you don't leave the drink out, I won't leave."
She ran out, and I grabbed my drink and finished it. I reappeared! I jumped for joy, and then an alarm ran.
I woke up. I was going to be late for school. What a wacky dream!"
GUYS I FOUND TWO HOLOCAUST STORIES I WROTE IN FOURTH GRADE I'M CRYING
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This one isn't supposed to be serious. It was an assignment in my keyboarding class in sixth grade. We were g..."
You just had to go with the "IT WAS ALL A DREAM" ending. XD But really, that story is fantastic. Hahahaha. :D
I'm posting my Holocaust stories on here. I wrote them in fourth grade when I had very limited knowledge on it and I'm laughing so hard right now.I MEAN A FAMILY, TRYING TO ESCAPE NAZIS, RUN TO AMSTERDAM
AMSTERDAM
TO ESCAPE NAZIS
Although I'm quite impressed because I'm naming a bunch of European cities.
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Brigid ✩, No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader.
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Soon she got back to the castle. She went through the doors, up the spitaling stairs, and into her room.
The girl was sitting on the bed, stroking the sleeping griffin.
“Where were you? I’ve been waiting for such a long time!” the girl demanded.
Kathleen shrugged. “I went to the mermaid village.”
“Huh! You went to that stupid place? To see those stupid, pathetic reatures?”
“They are not stupid or pathetic. They’re fascinating!” Katlhleen said. She sat down on the bed. The griffin opened one yellow eye to look at her.
“Oh,” said Katlhleen, “You know that mermaid with the baby? She said this is for you.”
Kathleen took out the rock and threw it at the girl. It hit her on the top of the head.
“Huh!” the girl said, and she moved over to the other bed.
When Kathleen touched the griffin it growled at her, and she took her hand away hastily.
“He only likes me,” the girl said selfishly. Kathleen hated that kind of thing, where an animal only likes one person. Kathleen always tried to be polite, and she didn’t want to say that, so instead she said, “He’s yours, is he?”
The girl didn’t answer. Finally she said, “Who cares?”
“Please tell me.”
“Fine. I stole him,” the girl said sarcastically.
Kathleen decided that this girl wasn’t the kind of girl you wuold want to talk to, so she said no more.
Kathleen took out the rock and threw it at the girl. It hit her on the top of the head.“Huh!” the girl said, and she moved over to the other bed.
brb dying
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Brigid ✩, No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader.
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Okay, so I wrote two Holocaust stories in 4th grade. I'm going to post them. I APOLOGIZE FOR HOW INACCURATE THEY ARE. I WAS NINE YEARS OLD AND I KNEW VERY LITTLE.I'm keeping original grammar and everything.
Hiding
Chapter 1: Running
"Peter! Mary! John! Paul! Jennifer! Don't go off without me!" Mrs. Paterson was running. She fell. Blood was pouring out of her leg. "Leslie!" Mr. Paterson shouted. "Go on without me!" Jennifer wanted to go back. She tried to. "Are you out of your mind?!" Peter shouted. "The Nazis' are back there!" "Peter--" "Do you want to be killed?" Jennifur paused. "Let's go!" Peter pulled her with him. "Mother!" Jennifur cried.
That was the last thing Jennifer could remember. She was crying. Peter and Mr. Paterson had went back and found her gone. Since there was no body, how could they have a casket? And if the Nazis' found them and tried to open it, (and they could), and there was nobody they could get in trouble. But with the body, if the Nazis' saw her before and then saw her in a casket, oh-- do we have to go there?
Jennifer remembered what Peter, the eldest, by the age of 16, had said. This is what had happened!
Nazis' filled the street. A fight had broken out. A Nazi accused a man of being a Jew. Their father had a temper, and therefore he was angry. He shouted, "Why blame him? I'm a Jew, not him! I live with a wife and four kids! Catch me if you can!" At that moment, the man tried to blurt out, that was a lie that their father had said. The man was his best friend, and went to church with him. He ran and grabbed Mrs. Paterson and Mary, who were out and looking around the town. They had been in a shop and came out to see the rucus.
You see, the Patterson's were Jews in Germany during World War 2. Mr. Patterson ran to his wife and daughter and said, "Run. We must leave Mannheim.' They ran to the woods, Nazis' chasing them. Peter had taken John in the woods. They were hunting, while Jennifer was blowing dandelions. Mr. Patterson ran right to where they were. "Peter, take your gun, your brother & sister, and run." [something I can't read] Mrs. Patterson ran after him. "What has become of us?!" she cried.
After being awared by his father, Peter understood and ran to where John took a dandelion from Jenifer. They looked up, for they knew something was wrong. They could feel it. "Run." The two understood and ran. John stopped. "Soilder! Come here boy!" A german shepard ran out. "Follow me!" John said. The german shepard followed.
Mrs. Patterson was holding a blanket close to her chest. In it was Christina their cousin (the kid's cousin) who was only 2. Her mother was dead, and her dad had an illness.
While they ran, Mary said, "Mother, you look tired. Mary I carry Christina?" So, Mary was running with Christina. There a tree root, wich everyone saw and jumped over. Mrs. Patterson, unaware, tripped and cut her leg as you know.
So let's just skip to the part when Peter pulled her, Jennifer. When he pulled her, the force of the pull made her fall over and hit her head, and she eventully passed out. When Peter reached down to get Jennifer, Mr. Patterson took his gun. Peter was fine with it.
But as soon as Peter picked up Jennifer, the Nazis' found them. "Seize them!" an tall but pleasently plump Nazi cried. Peter ran past his father. Mr. Patterson was made, picked up the gun and--
There was a groan. A few twigs crackled. The Pattersons were running away. "Mandown!" somebody cried. "Find them!" The Pattersons ran to a hole they had prepared deep in the woods.
Twilight, then morning light. The Pattersons got out of there hole. They went back to there house, snapping there heads back every time when they heard a noise. They scrambled into the house. But this was just the beggining.
Chapter 2: Moving
"Kids, I have an anocment to say," Mr. Patterson said. "We have to leave Germany. So, we're going to Amsterdam." He looked around. "Take a few posisessions, but not to much stuff. We don't want an overload."
So, most of the morning the family scurried about, coloccting items. By 1:00 that afternnon, they met in the center of the house. "Let's go," their father said.
***
They had just left the hole. They were on their way to Amsterdam, talking and laughin along the way. Jennifer looked around the wood. It seemed to be mocking her, saying, "You're a Jew. You're a Jew." Jennifer was uncofterable. Mary, the second oldest by the age of 10, saw Jennifer and went back to her. "Don't worry," Mary said, "It's going to be okay."
***
After a few days of traveling, they met with a surprise visit from their uncle. Christina cooed in glee. "That's my girl," Uncle Phillip said. He took Christina in his arms. "Good girl," he said. He looked at the Pattersons. "We have to keep moving," he said. "We have to go to Amsterdam."
***
"Are we there yet?" "My feet are hurting!" "I wish we had a car." "Children stop complaining! We're almost here!" They had been traveling for some where around a 2 weeks. They had met with there uncle in Köln, an d there uncle left to find his friends in Essen to find a boat, just in case Nazis found them. They could build a boat and go on sea. They were sailors, you know.
"Look! We're almost here!" Peter shouted. He could feel & see cilvilasation. "We're almost there! We should be there tonight!!!"
***
Luckily, no Nazis' were invading the town. They got an apartment and entered school. They almost forgot about the war.
***
"Can Kate spend the night? Pllleeeaaassseee??" "Jennifer, for the last time if you would listen you may spend the night at her house." "Yippie!" Jennifer smiled her best friend and her, spending the night!
But, what they did not know is that the worst is still to come.
Chapter 3: Nazis!
"Quickly children! On the ship! Nazis' are invading!" Everyone ran out of there apartment into the streets. The Pattersons were scared. Terrified, to be exact.
"Look! It's him! Get him!" They had found the Pattersons! They grabbed for there father. "Noo!" Peter shouted. He fell on the ground. "Peter!" Mary and Jennifer shouted. "He's died because he got shot, you little twerps!" a Nazi cried. They grabbed the girls. "If you take them, take me to!" John yelled. "No John, no!" Mary cried.
"Fine. Take him!" The Nazis' took him.
***
Jennifer was dead. She was killed in a gas chamber. John and Mary were being taken somewhere. The captain of Nazis (besides Adolf Hilter) was there. "You-- you-- die!" He shot John. "No!" Mary escaped from the clutches of Nazis' and ran.
***
Mary fell. She was tired and worn out. She didn't know where she was. She was tired and scared. Help, she thought. Help.
Epilogue
Mary and Mr. Patterson escaped and was living with her father. They moved to Littler hammer, Norway on the boat.
They lived there, and Mr. Patterson died of old age. Mary moved to Moscow and died of the necular accident. John died when he was 10 and Jennifer 8. None of the Patterson survived.
Uncle Phillip and Christina were captured and killed in a concentration camp. No one ever forgot them, though.
And it all started because of a fight and a lie.
Oh my goodness, I need to write a commentary on this.
A few of my own question:
-WERE THEY JEWS OR NOT
-WHY DID NO ONE GIVE A F*** ABOUT THEIR MOM
-WHY DID MARY AND JOHN HAVE THE PRIVILEGE OF MEETING THE "HEAD NAZI"
-HOW THE HECK DID THEY ALMOST FORGET ABOUT THE WAR
-WHY WERE NO NAZIS PURSUING THEM AFTER THEIR ESCAPE OR WHEN THEY CAME BACK TO THEIR HOUSE
-WHY DID THEY HAVE A HIDING HOLE PREPARED
-DID THEY FORGET THE PATTERSONS
-WERE THEY THE PATERSONS OR PATTERSONS
-WHY DIDN'T THEY TAKE THE FREAKING BOAT
-IF THEY DIDN'T TAKE THE BOAT THEN WHERE THE HECK DID THEY GET THE BOAT
-HOW ARE YOU A TALL AND PLEASANTLY PLUMP NAZI
-WHY WERE THERE NO GOSH DARN NAZIS IN AMSTERDAM
And there's a sequel to this.
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Brigid ✩, No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader.
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I JUST LAUGHED FOR LIKE FIVE MINUTES OVER THIS SENTENCE. I CAN'T STOP ... AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. :'D
Anyway, I enjoyed that immensely. YOU MUST POST THE SEQUEL.
Emily wrote: "Okay, so I wrote two Holocaust stories in 4th grade. I'm going to post them. I APOLOGIZE FOR HOW INACCURATE THEY ARE. I WAS NINE YEARS OLD AND I KNEW VERY LITTLE.I'm keeping original grammar a..."
Oh man that was awesome xD. I love how non-Jewish/German their names are.
Samantha Anne wrote: "Emily wrote: "Okay, so I wrote two Holocaust stories in 4th grade. I'm going to post them. I APOLOGIZE FOR HOW INACCURATE THEY ARE. I WAS NINE YEARS OLD AND I KNEW VERY LITTLE.I'm keeping orig..."
OH YES THAT WAS ANOTHER ONE OF MY THOUGHTS
The Mighty Katara wrote: "A Nazi accused a man of being a Jew. Their father had a temper, and therefore he was angry. He shouted, "Why blame him? I'm a Jew, not him! I live with a wife and four kids! Catch me if you can!"..."
THE MORE IN THINK ABOUT THE LAST QUOTE THE FUNNIER IT GETS
I need to record myself reading my own stories because I laugh so hard. I mean my parents heard me because I was laughing so hard and loud at the part where she died in some nuclear accident.
OMG HOLDEN I WOULD LOVE YOU FOREVER IF YOU DID
I'VE BEEN REREADING THESE STORIES IN THE TOPIC AND I'M LAUGHING SO HARD I CAN'T SEE BREATHE OR SWALLOW SO I'M KIND OF THIS GROSS DROOLING MESS WHO CAN'T CATCH HER BREATH
OMG YES A PIANO COVER FOR A DRAMATIC READING
Here's my second Holocaust story from 4th grade:Running
Introduction
I still can't belive it. It was 67 years ago, 1941, when my best friend died. 4 motnhs later, my cousin. I'm 76 years old, but I could never forget. Belive me. I'm Kate, Jennifer Patterson's best friend in Amsterdam. I'm Kate Wall. I have quite a story to tell.
***
Hello. I'm the author. If you had read Hiding, you'll know who this is. In Hiding Kate was 7 years old. She had to watch in horror as her best friend Jennifer and Jennifer's family ran down the street from the Nazis. She never saw Jennifer and some of her family again. Jennifer had told her why she didn't have a mother. The last time she saw the people that survived in the Pattersons was only about 6 years later. She was on a vacation to Little Hammer, Norway. She ran into Jennifer's older sister, Mary. At that time Kate was 13 and Mary was 16. Kate had been adopted. You'll find out about that later.
Anyway, Mary and her chatted. The last words she heard from every Patterson was, "Goodbye. I hope to see you again." And they never did. Mary said it two times. But now it's Kate's turn. She get's to tell her tragic tale after the Pattersons left. Please, you may read on to find out.
Chapter one: Discovered!
Kate siged. Her best frien had been gone for 5 days. Jennifer is surley dead, she thought. Her cousin Annabelle and her wer shopping in town square. This might be their last time. Anabelle's mother died when she was 1, and her father died the same way when she was 3. They died of a disease. So Annabelle was living with her cousin Kate, our main character.
Well, the reason it might be their last time is because Kate's mom had been dead scince Kate was 4. Her dad got a nanny because he went to war. Unfortuntly, he got shot and died. That was just 2 weeks ago. The girls were going to an orphangage. No other relatives were alive. If the Pattersons were still here, she could be adopted. She would have to be a Jew, though. No problem for her cousin. Annabelle was a Jew. She went to one of her friends house when there was a Jewish holiday happening.
As they were shopping, when they came out the door the Nazi solider standing there started yelling wide-eyed. "She has the star of David!" he cried. Annabelle looked down at her neck. There, gliming in the sun, was her necklace with the star of David.
Annabelle gulped. "Run!" Kate shouted. The two girls started running. Nazis were on their trail. So this is what Jennifer and her family felt like, Kate thought. You see, Kate was NOT a Jew.
"Catch them!" Kate got herself back to what was happening. Kate ran faster. She grabbed and pulled Anabelle. She ran behind a tree. She and Annabelle sat down. They were panting hard. As son as Annabelle was about to say something, Kate slapped her hand over her mough. The 9-year-old stared at Kate. Kate motioned a word with her lips. Annabelle gulped and nodded. The word Kate had motioned was Nazis.
Chapter 2: Shelter
Annabelle turned her head back to face foward. She had a weird expression. But before Kate figured out and tried to stop her, Annabelle did it. She sneezed.
The Nazis turned around. The Nazis went to the ree Annabelle and Kate were hiding. "Seize them!" a Nazi with a bush, brown beard cried. Annabelle and Kate ran off. They ran deep into the forest.
***
The bright stars were getting dimmer by the minute. The dark clouds covered the moon and the sky. It was 3 hours befor emidnight, and it wasn't looking good.
All of a sudden, lighting flash. Thunder roared. Rainging started pouring in tubs. "We have to find shelter!" Annabelle cried at the top of her lungs, over the falling rain.
Kate saw something ahead. "Over her!" She took Annabelle's hand and pulled her over. They ran in the opening. "Where are we?" Aabelle asked. Kate look around.
"I think we're in a-- a-- cave!" Kate smiled. They had found shelter.
Chapter 3: Captured!
It had been 4 months. Annabelle and Kate were still hiding. They had been living in a cave.
One fall morning, footsteps were heard. Annabelle snezzed as soon as the footsteps past the cave.
"In here!" a voice called. There were footsteps. "Hide!" Kate whispered. They tip-toed quickly behind a giant salagmites. Dirt was all over. Annabelled had a weird expression. "Annabelle! No--" Too late. Annabelle sneezed and rolled from the salagmaite.
"There! Seize her!" Some men ran over and grabbed Annabelle. "Let me go!" she shouted. The leader solider looked at the other soliders. "Look for others. They're goners for sure."
The soliders started walking toward the salagmite kate was behind. Kate crawled quickly but quietly to another salagmite.
"Nobody," the answered. And they left the cave.
***
Katie spent 2 more days in the cave. She went back to town and eventually got adopted. She always wondered what happened to Annabele.
But she never knew.
Gems from the romance I wrote in sixth grade (there are spoilers in case you want to actually read it:All I knew was that I was being kidnapped and that was final.
~
That’s when I realized: I had the Love Bug. I was in love with either two people or even worse… the wrong person.
~
He bent down and I saw his tan face have a weak smile, and then he kissed me. Horses trotted off in the distance, and the cool air was settling. This time, though, was different emotionally. It was more of getting ice cold water on a hot, summer day. He quenched my soul. He was playing with my mind, yet he was so true too. I finally realized he was a soul that yearned for someone else since his mother’s death. He wanted someone to trust. He needed me. He loved me. I was probably the only girl that he thought was sweet and kind… and I was blowing it.
~
“Girl, I underestimate you,” I told her.
~
hadn’t seen him since Billy’s proposal. He just kind of vanished. Victor hadn’t been visiting often either. I was wondering why, when there was a knock on the door, and there was Victor, frowning. “Oh, Victor! Hello!” I exclaimed, but he kept frowning. My smile quickly faded. “Victor, what’s wrong?” He sighed.
“Come with me, please,” he answered.
I nodded and followed him. We passed by our bench, which was really odd, since that’s where we always sat. This time, he took me to the top of Grave Hill and overlooked the land that was underneath, which is very peculiar since no one every dared go to the top.
I started growing worried. “Oh, Victor, what’s wrong?” I asked anxiously. He looked at my eyes, but quickly bolted downward.
“I come here to say,” he started, but stopped. He cleared his throat and started again. “I’ve come here to say,” he said again, when his voice cracked. He didn’t start over this time. His voice got softer. “Your sister, Madison, is missing.”
I was shocked. He wiped his eyes and tried to cover his sobs. “Why are you crying?” I smiled weakly through tears. “She’s my family.”
“Madison… she was actually very dear too me,” he replied. “When she left your house a few times, she came down my house and visited me. She knew me after she was walking around in the town one day and she fell and I helped her up and took her to Ma.” He sniffed. “Today, I was worried since I saw her walking toward Grave Hill, I looked away, and when I looked back she had…” He trailed off.
“Disappeared,” I whispered.
He started sobbing. “I’m so sorry,” he sobbed. I stood there, looking out onto the cemetery. I looked at him and smiled. I ran my fingers through his hair and wiped away a little tear in my eye. I sighed, and then put my hand on his shoulder.
“You are the sweetest man,” I told him. “I should be the one sobbing right now.” He looked up at me. “And I’m being honest,” I added. Then I leaned in to kiss him. The horses clotting in the distance disappeared, along with the few conversations going on. He embraced me, so I threw my arms around him.
This was the best kiss I had ever had… With Victor, I thought. No, don’t think that. The best kiss ever. He pulled away from me, but just came back. I didn’t mind; I was actually enjoying it. This was going to be my groom. But then he jerked away. “What’s wrong?” I asked, upset that our moment had ended.
He looked nervously around, and then grabbed my hand. “Something’s not right,” he whispered, still looking around. He stood up suddenly.
“Really, Victor, why are you acting so strange?” But he never answered because he was to busy rushing me down the hill. I didn’t know what was making him so nervous. There was only some hoof beats from the town… Wait, I realized. I looked behind me. I gasped and ran with Victor. There was Hawk!
Hawk laughed that cruel laugh. “’Er little lover thinks ‘e can git ‘way?” he chortled. “’Ink again, sonny boy!” He looked behind him for a second. “Raven, Rattle, git ‘er!”
Raven and what appeared to be Rattle rode ahead of everybody else and made a barrier in front of Victor. Victor tried to slide through the open gap between the town and the horses, but it was too late. The outlaws circled around us. Hawk laughed again. I looked around and, confused, said, “Where’s Fox?”
Hawk really laughed now. People were running towards us now, but Hawk just sent his men after them. He looked at my seriously and said, “Do ya’ honestly ‘ink I would let your little ‘ero ‘ere? You just kiddin’ me, right?” He hooted again and seized my free hand and jolted me up.
“Victor!” I screamed. He tried to jump on Hawk, but Hawk swerved just in time to make it so that Victor spooked the horse and kick him. Victor landed on the ground, gasping and sputtering. He definitely had the wind knocked out of him, and it appeared he had broken some bones.
Hawk cackled while he was leading me away from Victor. Hot tears stung my face as they rolled down. My tears were out of anger. They injured my love, and kidnapped me again. I couldn’t think of what would become of me.
~
When I was finally dressed, I reluctantly followed them to their saloon tent. When I walked in, men cheered in a drunken sort of way, since they all had big mugs of beer. I shuddered, and felt a tear go down my face. I walked to the back of the tent, where Hawk was, scowling, me gradually growing to wailing as doing so. “’At’s ‘ong?” he murmured as I stood next to him. “Oh, I ‘ow, ‘ou’re ‘ust ‘motional’ ‘ike ‘em ot’er ‘adies.”
I didn’t say anything, and we walked towards the front of the tent. One of the mildly drunk men that was playing the pastor rambled through, trying to think of all the vows but was just uttering nonsense and drinking more. He finally said Hawk’s name and referred to me as “’at purtty ‘ady”, and Hawk said, “I ‘o.”
Then the man turned to me and mumbled, “’Ou ya’ purtty ‘ady—”, nonsense, and “—Hawk”. I turned to Hawk, tears streaming down my face, and said, “I… I…” and stopped. I shuddered and wanted Fox desperately.
Hawk started turning angry, when someone burst in the tent. “So, I heard we’re having something special today,” the person said. Then he turned to me. The sun caused me to squint my eyes and make him shadowed. He was holding something and said, “But I had no clue that this was it.”
Someone growled loudly. “You git yer fat ‘ead outta’ ‘ere!” someone yelled. Men angrily shouted in agreement. The man just kept walking towards me though. The man that growled earlier said, “’On’t ‘ou take ‘un step ‘oser!” he started, “Or ‘ou’ll be blasted a ‘ousand miles from ‘ere!”
But the other man kept walking closer. He placed the thing on a table and then…
There was a gunshot, and I was swept off my feet. The person holding me made a mad dash and clenched the thing he had been holding earlier.
“I’m ‘onna’ ‘it ‘ou ‘ack, if it’s ‘e ‘ast ‘ing I ‘o!” Hawk screamed. But the man kept running, no horse, no anything. He ran all the way down the hill, and kept yelling, “Outlaws are coming!”
People stirred as they heard the news. Women screamed and rushed them and their children inside. Men ran out with their guns. The man holding me dropped me off at my house surprisingly. “Thank you,” I gasped as he plopped me down and dropped the blanket he had been holding on me. I looked up and saw only a glimpse of the man’s face before he ran off. I stared in disbelief. Mama came running out and grabbed my hand and dragged me inside. She rushed me up to my room and told me to hide. I nodded and ran inside my wardrobe. It sounds ridiculous, but I just had to be alone.
I shuddered as I shrank back into my wardrobe. That man… it had been no other than Fox. He rescued me a third time. I smiled and some tears flowed down my face. After all the times I had mistreated him, this is what he does. I closed my eyes and smiled bigger.
[Keep in mind she JUST TURNED 15 AND HAWK IS LIKE IN HIS 40S]
~
I sat down on my stump, and thought about something serious: love. Who did I love? Fox or Victor? Then, out of the blue, Fox walks up behind me. I turned around to see who it was, then jumped up and ran into his arms. I didn’t think about anything. My impulses told me to. He smiled and hugged me tighter.
~
Then I jumped on him and seized his face, thrusting his lips against mine.
~
“Because you sick vermin, I’m engaged! Is this what you do for fun, go around messing with poor, defenseless women and their emotions?”
~
When I walked through the door, everyone shot their heads back to me. I slowly walked down the isle, where I came back to Victor and wiped off my extra tears.
“Victor,” I said in a quiet, soft tone, “you are a very sweet man, I love you to death, but… I found my true love.” I glanced towards the door, where Fox was leaning against, smiling. “I’m sorry,” I said, turning to him.
I expected him to start sobbing or screaming at me, but he smiled that big, goofy, boyish smile and said, “I can’t stop true love. Go for it.”
I smiled and gave him a big smooch on the lips. Victor asked for the rings, then gave them to me and Fox.
[It's also worthy to note that Fox is twenty-something.]
~
Fox ran in with a gun, a serious gleam shining in his beautiful eyes.
~
The feeling was overwhelming. I bent down, and thrust my mouth at him. I could imagine that nippy night wind, the moon’s light, his arms wrapped around me. I rubbed my tongue all over his. I had to make this last. He was dead.
So you guys need to read the whole thing to fully appreciate the awfulness of it. It includes: angst, perpetual worrying over love, kidnapping, Mary Sues, unintentional pedophilia, pregnant teenagers, descriptions of the same things over and over again that don't make since (like Fox's "autumn eyes and tan complexion), and so forth.
It's so bad it's rather beautiful.
Emily wrote: "Gems from the romance I wrote in sixth grade (there are spoilers in case you want to actually read it:All I knew was that I was being kidnapped and that was final.
~
That’s when I realized: I h..."
You call this BAD?!?!
THIS IS HOW I WRITE NOW!
*sigh*
I'm a failure.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU WRITEI HAVE READ YOUR STUFF AND YOU ARE MUCH BETTER THAN SIXTH-GRADE ME
I ALMOST DIED OF SUFFOCATION I WAS LAUGHING SO HARD
message 537:
by
Brigid ✩, No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader.
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Annabelle gulped. "Run!" Kate shouted. The two girls started running. Nazis were on their trail. So this is what Jennifer and her family felt like, Kate thought. You see, Kate was NOT a Jew.
HAHAHA. I love how she's just like, "Oh crap, forgot I was wearing my Star of David necklace!" Also I like the clarification that Kate is NOT a Jew. XD
message 538:
by
Brigid ✩, No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader.
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Mod
http://thespeakerofnonsense.tumblr.co..."
I CAN'T BREAAAATTHHHEEE.
Holden wrote: "So. I made a thing.
http://thespeakerofnonsense.tumblr.co..."
I CAN'T BREATHE. I ACTUALLY AM SCREAMING WITH LAUGHTER. OH MY FREAKING GOODNESS. HOLDEN PLEASE DO MORE DRAMATIC READINGS.
http://thespeakerofnonsense.tumblr.co..."
I CAN'T BREATHE. I ACTUALLY AM SCREAMING WITH LAUGHTER. OH MY FREAKING GOODNESS. HOLDEN PLEASE DO MORE DRAMATIC READINGS.
Will you do a dramatic reading of one/some of my journal entries I posted? XD That would make me laugh so hard. I'll put them in spoilers so you don't have to search through the 14 pages of this topic, if you choose to do it. (view spoiler)
message 541:
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Brigid ✩, No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader.
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AH HAHA I LOVE IT.
... Also I kind of want to do some dramatic readings, too. O_o
So do I. I love reading aloud. I might not be as good at it because I don't have a low voice, but I'd also be willing to do a dramatic reading if someone wanted it.
Mod
I don't think anything will ever beat Baxter.
Holden wrote: "What am I doing with my life.
http://thespeakerofnonsense.tumblr.co..."
YOU ARE DOING AWESOME THINGS WITH YOUR LIFE AND MAKING IT SO I CAN'T BREATHE. ASDEGTFRHYJUKIL; I DON'T I CAN'T EVEN THANK YOU.
http://thespeakerofnonsense.tumblr.co..."
YOU ARE DOING AWESOME THINGS WITH YOUR LIFE AND MAKING IT SO I CAN'T BREATHE. ASDEGTFRHYJUKIL; I DON'T I CAN'T EVEN THANK YOU.
message 546:
by
Brigid ✩, No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader.
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Mod
message 547:
by
Brigid ✩, No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader.
(new)
Mod
Rita and I turned our heads quickly to face each other. Her eyes were wide and frightened. We looked back at the clay people. They were moving—walking slowly toward us. We quickly turned and ran.
For a long time we ran along the beach, but we could hear shouts and a small thunder of tiny feet behind us, and suddenly I gasped. I looked at Rita. She looked at me. We were thinking the same thought—we had made some of them swords. We had taken some nails, and made a handle of clay for them. We ran faster. Every second I expected to feel one of those sharp nails digging into my heels, and suddenly I tripped and fell. I struggled to get up, but the clay people were already crowding around me.
Rita came running back. She raised a foot to kick them out of the way, but one of them shouted, “Don’t! We will not hurt you.”
“What’s going on?” a clay child asked. I sat up. Rita and I stared at each other, not knowing what to say.
“We’re not really sure.” Rita said finally. All the clay people were silent.
“Then we will not bother you.” One of them said, and then they all turned and walked away.
“I shouldn’t go home.” Rita said, “I can’t leave you with these things alone. Think I can sleep over?”
“Maybe. I’ll ask my mom.” I got up and we quickly ran back to my house.
That night we were sitting on my bed, talking about what we should do. “I think we should sneak up behind them, scoop them up, and throw ‘em into the ocean.” Said Rita, but she didn’t sound like she really meant it. I hugged my knees, thinking hard. Then I looked up at Rita, an excited look on my face.
“I know! You made a spell to make them come to life! You could write another to undo it!”
Rita shook her head. “I don’t think I should.”
“Why not?”
“A few of those people have magic powers. Out on the beach I saw one of them pull a fireball out of nowhere.”
We didn’t say anything for a long time. Rita plucked at the skirt on her nightgown thoughtfully. I flexed and pointed my toes, while hugging my knees.
I thought of the strange red people, with their swords, and shuddered. Although we were bigger, it would be harder to defeat them than we thought. If one of them had magic powers we were doomed.
Maxy wrote: "Holden wrote: "So. I made a thing.http://thespeakerofnonsense.tumblr.co..."
I CAN'T BREATHE. I ACTUALLY AM SCREAMING WITH LAUGHTER. OH MY FREAKING GOO..."
DOESN'T HE HAVE A WONDERFUL VOICE THOUGH
Holden wrote: "What am I doing with my life.http://thespeakerofnonsense.tumblr.co..."
"Semicolon closed parenthesis."
I LOST IT WHEN YOU GOT THERE
Maxy wrote: "So do I. I love reading aloud. I might not be as good at it because I don't have a low voice, but I'd also be willing to do a dramatic reading if someone wanted it."I'm actually decent at low voices (and I give my gratitude for my intolerance of high notes and always choosing to be the guy part in every song). I imitated this one guy who played Mark Antony in an audio version of "Julius Caesar" and it turned out pretty good.
Haha ... I think it's better to laugh. It's not like anyone writes brilliantly at the age of twelve. XD