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How slurring is a slur?
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Kevin
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Apr 15, 2011 11:56AM
In the news recently is Kobe Bryant's public use of a slur aimed at a referee who gave him a tech. He doesn't deny saying it and says it was in the heat of a passionate moment (not that kind of passionate... i don't think). Anyway....the slur was offensive for sure but I am wondering how people really take slurs against them. Being not african-american or gay i really don't know what slurs would offend me personally. Being called a "honky" doesn't count because no one has said that word since Richard Pryor. Using a religious reference doesn't bother me nor does anything else really. I'm sort of a sticks n stones guy. I rarely hear the word Kobe used anymore except by truly ignorant people and they don't count since they can barely spell that word. Thoughts? (I even used punctuation and capitalization on this thread to show my serious side)
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We're talking about public use, not directly aimed? If it's a celebrity saying it publicly, there isn't anything that would offend me personally. I wouldn't be hurt or lose sleep as if it were directed at me. I probably wouldn't go to see another of that person's movies (music, games, whatever).
HOWEVER, I don't like to see it. It adds to the culture of intolerance. I don't like Mel Gibson ranting about Jews, or Michael Richards about black people, or Kobe or anybody else using gay slurs. 'Cause it's not that he's reaching through the TV to say it to me, but he's saying to all of the kids that idolize him that it's ok, which means that sooner or later they're going to use it on some kid in school, which is not okay.
i totally agree with you sarah. i just was wondering what offended people personally if they heard it or saw someone saying it. in general or to them. myself being a WASP-y hetero i really never have had to go through this and didn't know how it is received now. i really don't think it is right that if someone can make fun of their own group with a slur but no one else can. not that i think everyone should, i think that no one should
I think Kobe should have been suspended a playoff game. That would have shut that fucker up.
Can I say...something? I'll try not to get too...self-referential.I have never been called a nigger/a. Not by anyone of my own race or anyone outside of the my race, but I, and forgive my lack of articulation, but if someone of my own race were to call me by that term it's completely different if someone else did it. I'm not saying either one of those ways is right, but one way is, "I do not respect you; I possibly hate you; you are beneath me; I feel contempt for this group of people." The other is this cultural thing which I don't really know why it's stuck around. The people that I hang out with, they don't use faggot or any derogatory gay reference because it's wrong and it's ignorant, and I've never been friends or close with people who say those kinds of things. It's ignorance, I think. I have a cousin who is really like a little brother, and in past year I've noticed that he says things like, "Stop being so gay," "That's a gay thing, don't do that," etc. And he also uses nigga and stuff like that, and I tell him, "Don't say that. That's disrespectful; you have more taste than that." And I'm hoping it's just a phase, but when it's used in like, everyday vocabulary, it's really hard to determine like, "Okay, do they just not know any better or is that hate?" And in either case, it needs to be fixed.
And if I was called the n-word today, like just walking around campus something, I would be more shocked than hurt. It would be like, "What rock have you been living under? What has someone been teaching you? Where did you learn that it's okay to say hateful things like this?" And it's a thing that I want to say, "well, no one does that anymore...what the hell is your deal?" But you know, people still do.
Sorry if that was...not a well-thought out response.
that was exactly the kind of response i was looking for because as i said, i really don't know. thanks britt. thoughtful and direct
The words 'retard or cripple' really get my goatMy son has a physical disability and until he was born (he's an adult now)-I never thought too much about the disabled community and how offensive and derogatory people's comments can be.
As a parent, you want to protect your kids and make sure NO ONE says anything to hurt them.
At the same time, individuals with spinal chord injuries call each other 'crips' so it must be different. The other thing I don't like is when someone says that 'downs kid or the wheelchair kid' like their disability is all that defines them.
My son was really disturbed recently at a women's basketball game at our local college when some of the football players were yelling insults at the other team. He wrote letters to the college and local paper about 'hate speech' suggesting that there is enough hate in the world without this kind of behavior. I was proud of him.
ahh. thanks mary. great POV. i never thought about those kinds of slurs. i was thinking more of ethnic background or sexual preference.
A slur is a slur, regardless of who it's directed at. Kobe should have known better, and I realize he said that in the heat of the moment, but that's simply not an excuse.
Kevin "El Liso Grande" wrote: "ahh. thanks mary. great POV. i never thought about those kinds of slurs. i was thinking more of ethnic background or sexual preference."I think it's all the same thing, though, Kevin. Demeaning someone who is different than you.
I'm not trying to belittle or negate other more obvious slurs when I say this. Yes, it pisses me off when I hear someone use any of the slurs y'all have already mentioned. It really gets under my skin that people casually throw around the words "liar" or "slut." I've never been called a slut, but when an old boss called me a liar once, I was livid. I suck at lying. In fact, I have a tendency to get myself in trouble with the truth. And I felt like he was making a falacy assumption about my character. And slut seems so misogynistic...
Phil wrote: "Bald people just don't understand."Haired people are so judgemental! ;)
Michael wrote: "Phil wrote: "Bald people just don't understand."Haired people are so judgemental! ;)"
Chrome dome!
janine wrote: "guys can be sluts too."This is a true statement from the Dutch lady.
There's a popular fast food chain that originated in Austin called Schlutzky's.
i asked this truly because i wanted to know from people who have had slurs aimed their way. i really haven't much in my life (dumbass isn't really a slur) and am sincere in getting opinions on here. like i said, i never use them and rarely here them around me anymore. i certainly do not condone any usage of slurs but wondered if they still had the same sting they did in the past. i don't even hear jokes using slurs.
Phil wrote: "Michael wrote: "Phil wrote: "Bald people just don't understand."Haired people are so judgemental! ;)"
Chrome dome!"
Hairy head!
Kevin "El Liso Grande" wrote: "i asked this truly because i wanted to know from people who have had slurs aimed their way. i really haven't much in my life (dumbass isn't really a slur) and am sincere in getting opinions on here. like i said, i never use them and rarely here them around me anymore. i certainly do not condone any usage of slurs but wondered if they still had the same sting they did in the past. i don't even hear jokes using slurs."My senior year there was a spate of gay-bashing on my campus. It was mostly notes with slurs scrawled on peoples' doors (including the one to the on-campus apartment I lived in with my then-girlfriend and a friend), but one guy's door was set on fire. I can tell you that having somebody write a slur on your front door does not make you feel very safe.
And while you may not be hearing the jokes, people still tell them. They tell them when they're drunk and think you're a kindred spirit. I can't tell you how many times some customer has leaned over the bar to tell me a joke that they think I'd find funny.
Still, the thing that gets me is the casual usage of "that's so gay" or "that's retarded." I just want to stomp both of those out, but I see and hear them all the time, even among non-teenagers.
What about the non-directed slurs that people will swear are just part of conversation? One of my favorite bookstores posted about Game of Thrones on HBO.
The owner said "Is it fantasy or science fiction? Is it in Earth's past, or on another planet?"
He had previously linked to the stupid review that calls Game of Thrones "boy fiction" so I responded that it takes place on a Man's Man's Man's World, which I thought was pretty funny.
Somebody else posted that "it's not as retarded as The Lord of the Rings."
And I hate, hate, hate that. And then I feel like a bystander watching somebody get called names by a bully. Do I derail the thread to say "Dude, poor word choice," or do I let it go? Here I would absolutely call somebody out on it.
I’ve never been on the receiving end of a slur or really noticed it going on. I do live in a predominately Hispanic community, and some (white) friends of mine say that they have experienced a lot of prejudice. They ended up moving a town over.
Barb wrote: "Silly rabbit, chex are for kids"Trix.
But yea Barb just the same.
