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Can I say something? >> We all got problems, man >>what the hell is Justin's deal anyway?
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message 51:
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Janice
(new)
Apr 01, 2011 08:08AM
I'm jumping into this a little late. I really liked the Buffy excerpt. We project others' reactions as if they are about us when really, it's about them.
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Barb wrote: "... except we're more likely to yell "Fucker!"Did someone call?
BunWat wrote: "You need to tell them all, the inner voices and the outer ones to STFU."If you have the recipe for this I'm all ears! Your advice is great, but those inner voices and the reasons for not going out and meeting new friends? That's some difficult stuff.
I'm 55 and I'm right behind you in line. I've tried and I've made progress, but it's like when does it start getting easier like they say it will? I think I've reached a point where I'm not sure I care to try that much because I'm not optimistic.
Coming to this discussion from a different angle, I'm 56, and about ten years ago, I realized that sexual appeal based on looks was no longer a card I could confidently play. Older people become invisible in lots of ways, as do overweight people. I'm not going to kill myself dieting and exercising or have plastic surgery. As Popeye says, "I yam what I yam and tha's all what I yam." The question becomes, "How can I be happy, regardless of how others see me?" I took my cue from people who have become disabled and who seem happy. What they all have in common is that they don't let their condition define them. They don't feel sorry for themselves; they do something constructive with the resources they have; and they appreciate being alive. We can only live life as it is right now and make the best of it. If we don't, aren't we just wasting time?
Clark wrote:Besides, Britt's better off listening to those women around here with a shred of common sense (Misha, BunWat, Lori, Dutch) rather than me. ..."
I read this as "women around here without a shred of common sense"
I should probably go to bed.
Scout wrote: "Coming to this discussion from a different angle, I'm 56, and about ten years ago, I realized that sexual appeal based on looks was no longer a card I could confidently play. Older people become i..."
Nicely put Scout. I have gotten to the age where I feel invisible. It is a struggle to deal with it.
Nicely put Scout. I have gotten to the age where I feel invisible. It is a struggle to deal with it.
Barb wrote: "WTF Clark? I don't have a shred of common sense? Dude, that cuts deep."
I had the same thought.
Britt, I was married for 10 years to a man who told me every day how ugly, fat, stupid I was and said "You should thank God for the day I married you because no one else would have you"! By the end of that time I was indeed overweight, felt stupid etc. etc. It took a long time for me to get my self confidence back. How did I do it: 1)I started hiking up mountain trails and when I got to the top I said, "Hey, look at me I did that", then I went into group therapy with other women with self esteem problems and we either supported each other or told each other to get over it depending on what it was we were upset over. then I joined with a battered woman's group and started the women's crises service. Have you thought about being a big sister or mentor to other younger women? volunteering can be very rewarding to the self esteem.
