Constant Reader discussion
Constant Reader
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Is your partner a reader?
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Had to comment on this thread. I've been married for 46 years to a non-reader, and it has worked out just fine (obviously). He appreciates that my constant reading is part of who I am, and actually takes advantage of it. We discuss various books I'm reading and share viewpoints. He does read, but only magazines like Consumer Reports, Business Week, etc., which is fine with me. He is the financial person in our marriage and reads constantly about investments, which has helped immensely (especially in this economy). It's interesting how our various tastes in reading have balance in our lives. We share the knowledge gained by reading with one another to the benefit of both of us. The only way it could be better is if he read books, too!
I don't currently have a significant other, but being with a reader is a priority for me. I think it's because a love of books has shaped me so much over the years, I couldn't imagine being with someone who didn't feel the same way. For example, when I'm describing things about my childhood or adolescence that I loved, it's not just toys and tv shows (though there is some of that.) The majority of my childhood nostalgia involves books that I've read and loved.I have several coworkers who remark on my reading habits at least once a week; it always gives me a near-physical pang of utter incredulity when they tell me how they don't read. Half the time, they sound proud of that. It's so bewildering and mystifying when we have these conversations that I couldn't deal with it in someone with whom I'd be trying to build a relationship.
Oh, yes - my husband is a reader! It is one of the things that drew me to him, although we tend to read very different things in very different ways. In fact, my mother mentioned this shared love of books in her toast at our wedding (apparently, one of the first things I told her about my now-husband was, "He might actually read more than me!" or something like that). And the books in our apartment just pile up! Everytime we go to the bookstore (and that is a very frequent occasion), we leave with at least 2 or 3 books, EACH! (And don't even mention all the books we order online ...)
We are saving for our first (and we hope only) home, and we like to talk about what we want in our home. The first thing we agreed on is that we need a library with wall-to-wall, floor-to-ceiling built-ins. If they aren't already there, we will build them ourselves, but we need a room for our books!
Welcome, Diana! I love to read in bed at night too, though my SO doesn't. Lately though she's learned to tolerate my leaving the lamp on -- especially if I get there first and have the bed all warmed up for her arrival :)
Ed wrote: "re: Enjoying readingResearch and my own personal experience indicate that interest in reading is a function of whether or not there are books and readers in the environment the child grows up in...."
I don't know if my brother is an anomaly, but my brother certainly doesn't fit this idea. Our house is full of books, and we were read to from birth. As a baby/child, he would sit and listen as long as anyone would read. However, once he started elementary school, he has not read unless he had too. He reads well above his age level, so it isn't b/c of any difficulty reading. He has simply sound other things he would rather do. If having people in your house that read makes you inclined to read, I think I, being 9 years older and addicted to books, would have passed my love on to him.
My boyfriend is a reader. (At least, he would be considered so by the general public.) He reads every night before bed and always has a book on the go. However, he reads a lot less than me. I devour novels and never go anywhere without one. We also read very different things. He reads non-fiction almost exclusively (he reads Political Science and Economics textbooks for fun!) and I hardly ever read non-fiction.
Megan wrote: "don't know if my brother is an anomaly, but my brother certainly doesn't fit this idea. Our house is full of books, and we were read to from birth. As a baby/child, he would sit and listen as long as anyone would read. However, once he started elementary school, he has not read unless he had to ..."Megan, I don't think he's necessarily an anomoly ... my sister and I both grew up surrounded by books and both were read to extensively. I turned into a life-long reader (much like yourself), but my sister never reads unless she has to. The only books in her home are the books from college (few) or those she read as a teenager (even fewer). I gave her a book on John Lennon for Christmas, which she will most likely not read despite being a huge John Lennon fan.
I met my husband because he was a reader; he'd always be outside his apartment reading after he was finished working. Since both of us were into sci fi and fantasy, that worked to get us connected. But he pretty much has stayed in that mode, expanding to graphic novels (both of us are huge fans of Neil Gaiman Sandman), not really caring to explore further. We did read some history non fiction together, and I got him interested in the historical fiction writer Bernard Cornwell. He likes Clive Cussler and David Weber. But while he likes to read, his main entertainment is movies or DVD series from the History Channel or sci fi programs. I read much more than he does, and much more widely. Whats nice tho is that he understands my need to read, and isn't treatened by it like some guys I dated. Its also refreshing to be around someone who doesn't think reading a waste of time (like my mom did), even if he doesn't read that much.As far as growing a reader - I teach preschool, and have watched my friends kids grow. What I think makes a difference is not just that you read to the kids, but that kids need to see adults read for enjoyment. But even then, there is no guareentee. My husband grew up with almost illiterate parents, and had to drop out of HS to work. But that didn't stop him from soaking in books like a sponge. My bro was surrounded as much by books as I was, and had the same book loving father I did, but hasn't picked one up since HS. Go figure.
Joy H. (of Glens Falls) wrote: "Yes, my husband is a reader. He's been a reader all his life. He prefers non-fiction. As a young boy, he read a lot because he had rheumatic fever and had to stay in bed or remain inactive for a lo..."My husband is the same way! He says he feels like people judge him because he doesn't read very many books, but he reads lots of news, magazines, Dungeons and Dragons stuff, etc. He also is involved in two Star Trek simms, so he writes every single day, but doesn't consider himself a writer. I think people are too hard on him... but I'm a librarian and read 150+ books a year, so in comparison it must make him feel bad.
My husband is a very slow reader. I feel like because he's a perfectionist, he reads every word slowly and carefully where as I gobble up every word as fast as I can.
My husband is not a big reader. In fact he took the same book with him on vacation for the last three years. He spends plenty of time reading online (news, bulletin boards) and he reads comics & D&D manuals. It doesn't bother me in the slightest. We like the same TV shows and movies (lots of sci-fi & fantasy), play D&D, and have similar tastes in music. We finally need to have us diverge somewhere! When I read he is frequently playing on the computer or next to me in bed reading his comics. When he gets tired he just curls up against me and goes to sleep with the lights on.
I think for the people who had non-reader spouses and it didn't work out, the important thing is one partner appreciates the hobbies of the other even if they don't participate. My husband may not be big on reading anything but Tolkien but he will never begrudge me the expense of buying books and will ask about what I'm reading.
He does like my Kindle (and read UR), so who knows, one day it all may change and he will be spending his days glued to books.
Lara Amber
It has been a really long time since I had a man that actually enjoyed to read.I hope that my next beau enjoys to read as much as I do. Since I love to discuss books and share ideas & opinion. =)~
Constant Reader
Books mentioned in this topic
Water for Elephants (other topics)Gilead (other topics)
My girlfriend wasn't a reader when we met. I've been an avid reader all my life and when she saw how ingrossed I was in a book she'd tell me that she wished she felt that passionate about something too. One day we had some time to kill before catching a bus and went into a 7-eleven-type store. She found a cheap crime novel that sounded interesting and bought it. Now we have a wonderful ritual of reading side by side in bed before sleep for an hour or so every night. My absolute favorite time a day.