Hey you guyzz! I'm writing a story, and I need your suggestions. It seems like realistic fiction, but it's fantasy. Here it is so far-
Chapter One “And this is our house!” My mom said. I looked out the car window. Did she actually buy this? “Mom! This house looks like it’s been abandoned for years!” I said. It was a giant house, but the paint was peeling so that it looked almost like it hadn’t been painted at all. There were weeds all over the yard, and ivy was starting to take over the building. “Oh, Bailey! It’s not going to stay this way! We’re going to fix it up so that it looks like new. And by the way, it has been abandoned for years. I wonder why nobody bought it. After all, it is unusually big for this neighborhood.” I sighed. The only reason that we even had to move to this little town in the middle of nowhere was because Mom got a job offering that she just couldn’t resist. Tulip, my little sister, was asleep in her booster sleep. I hoped that she wouldn’t wake up until we were done putting our things away. She has tantrums when she gets up too early, and today would be one of the worst days for that. “We’re not staying here, are we?” I asked Mom. “Of course we are! There aren’t any cockroaches our big holes in the ceiling, so why spend the extra money of a hotel? I already bought beds and got them delivered.” We got out of the car, and grabbed the suitcases. There was one for each of us, and Mom got two of them while I grabbed Tulip and her suitcase. I was glad that it was still early in the summer. I didn’t want to start school in the middle of the year. Inside the house, it was even worse. The bathrooms didn’t have sinks and the toilets barely worked. There wasn’t a dishwasher in the kitchen, which meant that I would be stuck with the job of washing and drying dishes. “Bailey!” my mom called from upstairs, “come see your room!” The stairs were built so that they hugged the wall. At the top of the stairs, there is a balcony so that if you leaned over the ledge, you would see the living room. There were hallways coming off of it. I dropped Tulip’s suitcase, and carried her up the stairs. She was still fast asleep. I went into the first hallway and peeked into each room, looking for Mom. She was in the first room in the second hallway. My room was a decent size, but the walls and floors were made of dark wood. The bed was on a plain frame, and the room was square shaped. “We’ll put some furniture in here and paint the walls. This room is so much bigger than your old one. We’ll have to buy new furniture to fill up the space,” my mom said, and I nodded. I still couldn’t believe that she did this! “I haven’t inspected the room,” she continued, “so if you find any skeletons in the closet, just tell me.” She took Tulip from me and left the room. I sat down on my bed. I wasn’t mad at Mom. Was I? I didn’t care about leaving school; I didn’t have any friends anyways. Was it that she thinks that she can just pack me up and bring me wherever she wanted? She didn’t even ask for my opinion.
Chapter One
“And this is our house!” My mom said.
I looked out the car window. Did she actually buy this?
“Mom! This house looks like it’s been abandoned for years!” I said.
It was a giant house, but the paint was peeling so that it looked almost like it hadn’t been painted at all. There were weeds all over the yard, and ivy was starting to take over the building.
“Oh, Bailey! It’s not going to stay this way! We’re going to fix it up so that it looks like new. And by the way, it has been abandoned for years. I wonder why nobody bought it. After all, it is unusually big for this neighborhood.”
I sighed. The only reason that we even had to move to this little town in the middle of nowhere was because Mom got a job offering that she just couldn’t resist.
Tulip, my little sister, was asleep in her booster sleep. I hoped that she wouldn’t wake up until we were done putting our things away. She has tantrums when she gets up too early, and today would be one of the worst days for that.
“We’re not staying here, are we?” I asked Mom.
“Of course we are! There aren’t any cockroaches our big holes in the ceiling, so why spend the extra money of a hotel? I already bought beds and got them delivered.”
We got out of the car, and grabbed the suitcases. There was one for each of us, and Mom got two of them while I grabbed Tulip and her suitcase.
I was glad that it was still early in the summer. I didn’t want to start school in the middle of the year.
Inside the house, it was even worse. The bathrooms didn’t have sinks and the toilets barely worked. There wasn’t a dishwasher in the kitchen, which meant that I would be stuck with the job of washing and drying dishes.
“Bailey!” my mom called from upstairs, “come see your room!”
The stairs were built so that they hugged the wall. At the top of the stairs, there is a balcony so that if you leaned over the ledge, you would see the living room. There were hallways coming off of it. I dropped Tulip’s suitcase, and carried her up the stairs. She was still fast asleep.
I went into the first hallway and peeked into each room, looking for Mom. She was in the first room in the second hallway. My room was a decent size, but the walls and floors were made of dark wood. The bed was on a plain frame, and the room was square shaped.
“We’ll put some furniture in here and paint the walls. This room is so much bigger than your old one. We’ll have to buy new furniture to fill up the space,” my mom said, and I nodded. I still couldn’t believe that she did this!
“I haven’t inspected the room,” she continued, “so if you find any skeletons in the closet, just tell me.”
She took Tulip from me and left the room. I sat down on my bed. I wasn’t mad at Mom. Was I? I didn’t care about leaving school; I didn’t have any friends anyways. Was it that she thinks that she can just pack me up and bring me wherever she wanted? She didn’t even ask for my opinion.