Struggling Writers discussion
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Exactly, that is my thought. And slippery soles can not slip of the pedal and cause an accident!
Sharon wrote: "Exactly, that is my thought. And slippery soles can not slip of the pedal and cause an accident!"I drive barefoot when I'm out in heels, the lesser of two evils! You have mail chapter 23 should be in your in box!
Sharon wrote: "Exactly, that is my thought. And slippery soles can not slip of the pedal and cause an accident!"I never understood what is wrong with driving bare foot. As you say, you can't get your shoe caught or anything. Very strange.
Big fan of velcro plus I have some cheap and cheerful sandals from primark which have an elasticated back strap - ideal for just pulling on to nip to the shops. Unfortunately the soles are wafer thin so they're not the most comfortable of things, but they'll do!
My friends in the village have all agreed that you are officially a lost cause if your 1st concern with footwear is how comfortable they will be! Lol. That's me!
Sharon wrote: "I am reading said mail! ;o)"Already! What will you have to read on the train!
I finished Lillian's List, found a couple of mistakes,grammar and continuity and I feel the ending could have been more dramatically written. Pity, because it was a good story, one which could have been elaborated on a little but I only paid 91p for it so it's hardly the end of the world.
Sharon wrote: "Sharon wrote: "Exactly, that is my thought. And slippery soles can not slip of the pedal and cause an accident!"I never understood what is wrong with driving bare foot. As you say, you can't ge..."
Me too, sod how they look, well within reason my new flatties are leather, bargain at 15 Euros in the sale a pale grey with a strap a bit little girly but that seems to be the French style!
I can't wear sling backs unless they have an ankle strap too, they slip off my heels even with the elastic!
I have my library book to read on the train - The woman in Silk. Not bad so far - a gothic/psychological thriller.
Talk to you tomorrow, night and have yourself a nice glass of something this evening.
For anyone that's interested I put up the the first six chapters of the House of Death in my writing, for 18 and over, sorry to all the younger members but I want to keep you all safe!
Sharon wrote: "Sharon wrote: "Exactly, that is my thought. And slippery soles can not slip of the pedal and cause an accident!"I never understood what is wrong with driving bare foot. As you say, you can't ge..."
I put some new writing on my page the first six chapters of House of Death.
Morning everyone, guess what it's raining! AGAIN!I am so sick of this rotten weather and according to the meteo its here until the 14th of July! Lucky us!
My last day as dinner lady today for a couple of months
their having couscous, I made tons the last time and froze it so all I have to do is thaw it out and cook my boil in the bag semoule and lunch is served!
Morning,It keeps raining here too. Just not good for the morale.
Sharon wrote: "Morning,It keeps raining here too. Just not good for the morale."
Nope I was so p***ed off with it I went back to bed after Sophie went to school!
I think I should have done that, and phoned in sick!
Sarah R wrote: "Sharon wrote: "Morning,It keeps raining here too. Just not good for the morale."
Nope I was so p***ed off with it I went back to bed after Sophie went to school!"
This probably doesn't help either of you, but it's a lovely day here. Having said that it is a bit too warm to be carting a new fridgefreezer a washing machine and a cooker up a flight of stairs... which is what Simon's doing right now. Bless his heart. At least with the decent fridge the kitchen will feel less like a caravan and I'll have some where to put things.
Sharon wrote: "I think I should have done that, and phoned in sick!" Yep it would have been a very good idea considering the weather.Sharon wrote: "Sarah R wrote: "Sharon wrote: "Morning,
It keeps raining here too. Just not good for the morale."
Nope I was so p***ed off with it I went back to bed after Sophie went to school!"
This probably ..."
Poor Simon I dare bet they're heavy too! Especially the washing machine, is there no way of putting it downstairs at street level?
No we've just moved into a rabbit hutch of a house and the kitchen is upstairs. All the other rooms are so small, it's kinda got to go in the kitchen - which apart from the roof terrace is the only room upstairs. Bless him, it's all done now though so at least that's one job off his ever expanding list of "to do's!"
Sharon wrote: "No we've just moved into a rabbit hutch of a house and the kitchen is upstairs. All the other rooms are so small, it's kinda got to go in the kitchen - which apart from the roof terrace is the onl..."I think after that he deserves an ice cold beer on the roof terrace, that I would love but hell I have a garden of half an acre at the new house so it would have been a bit extravagent to add a roof terrace!
I put the first six chapters of HOD on my writing.
Scuse my igonorance - HOD?Half an acre sounds LOVELY. We don't have much land with our new house so we're having a roof terrace there too. It's turned out a bit bigger than we imagined - its about 50 square metres. I'm pleased though cos now we have room for a hot tub! HURRAH! (Saving pennies as we speak).
Simon's back now and has collapsed on the sofa with the fan pointed at his head.
Sharon wrote: "Scuse my igonorance - HOD?Half an acre sounds LOVELY. We don't have much land with our new house so we're having a roof terrace there too. It's turned out a bit bigger than we imagined - its ab..."
DOH!!! HOUSE OF DEATH.
Idiot!
I updated my first chapter of The Shied Bearer's Daughter in my writing too.I'm still not entirely happy with the title, but it works for now!
Sharon wrote: "I updated my first chapter of The Shied Bearer's Daughter in my writing too.I'm still not entirely happy with the title, but it works for now!"
Phew, lunch seems to take longer every day, I have just descaled my expresso machine, it started spraying coffee everywhere so I figured it was time. We only ever used filtered water too, that way I only have to descale every 3 or 4 months but I think it's been more like 6 months, maybe longer since it was last done!
Lol the half an acre is just the start of it Alain owns another 1/2 acre across the road at the edge of some other farmers field. It was in the middle of it before Alain's grandfather came to an arrangement with the other owners! And a 1 and 1/2 Hectare field about 3 miles away has its own spring and is surrounded by woodland. Wierd property laws here in France!
Sharon wrote: "Sharon wrote: "Scuse my igonorance - HOD?Half an acre sounds LOVELY. We don't have much land with our new house so we're having a roof terrace there too. It's turned out a bit bigger than we im..."
I'll take a look at your writing for you if you like!
Sarah R wrote: "Sharon wrote: "Sharon wrote: "Scuse my igonorance - HOD?Half an acre sounds LOVELY. We don't have much land with our new house so we're having a roof terrace there too. It's turned out a bit bi..."
Oh yes please! It's only chapter 1 as I hold dreams of publishing it all at some point, but I'm sure you'll get the gist.
x
PS Property laws in Spain are also completely bizarre! They are especially touchy about where you put windows. You can't overlook another property if your window is less than 3 meters from the boundary and that includes looking out on someone's roof!
Sharon wrote: "PS Property laws in Spain are also completely bizarre! They are especially touchy about where you put windows. You can't overlook another property if your window is less than 3 meters from the bo..."I don't think that applies here, we have one house whose windows are less than 1 metre away from our fence but it isn't overlooking the house just the garden, and the other next door is half an acre away!
After that there's Alain's mother, my daughter said it's a bit near mother's house isn't it? No problem says I big wooden gates and cctv, sorts that out!
Sharon wrote: "Sarah R wrote: "Sharon wrote: "Sharon wrote: "Scuse my igonorance - HOD?Half an acre sounds LOVELY. We don't have much land with our new house so we're having a roof terrace there too. It's tur..."
Have you enabled all the writing aids on Microsoft word? They will help you with passive sentences, cliches everything you need help with is in there go to tools scroll down to the bottom to options and click on it enable readability scores, it's a useful tool when writing a book. Then just scroll through the lists and enable anything you feel will be useful from punctuation to grammar. It's got loads more uses than just checking your spelling!
Sarah R wrote: "Have you enabled all the writing aids on Microsoft word?..."That's a great idea. I'm swapping between word and open office. I've lost the disc so can't install word on the pc, but I have it on the lap top. I'll investigate in a bit.
Thank you for reading my stuff - sorry it's not really your kind of thing, maybe I should have warned you :-) I am taking all feedback seriously, though probably won't be editing it for a while.
I'm loading up a few more chapters now.
Sharon wrote: "Sarah R wrote: "Have you enabled all the writing aids on Microsoft word?..."That's a great idea. I'm swapping between word and open office. I've lost the disc so can't install word on the pc, b..."
Save word onto a cle USB (sorry can't think of the word in English lol happens a lot that) and transfer it to your pc, if that doesn't work I'll give you my son's email he can maybe help out. He is a computer genius and controls my computer for repairs from England by LOG Me In invaluable for us blondes!
Sarah R wrote: "Sharon wrote: "Sarah R wrote: "Have you enabled all the writing aids on Microsoft word?..."That's a great idea. I'm swapping between word and open office. I've lost the disc so can't install wo..."
I hit the lap top last night and corrected all my grammar etc. Also checked out the readability thing you were talking about. Apparently its pretty easy reading! I assume that's not a bad thing??
How is everyone this morning? Definitely cooler here which is good, but I still have a fan shoved in my face. This would be good, but one of the dogs has got some serious fart problems this morning and it keeps wafting my way! YUK! ;-)
Morning,Sorry I disappeared yesterday, wasn't in the best of moods and then I ended up leaving work early. Just could not seem to concentrate, hopefully today will be a better day.
I think our office smells a bit like that at the moment Sharon but that is due to the boiled eggs we just had for breakfast ;o)
Sharon wrote: "Morning,Sorry I disappeared yesterday, wasn't in the best of moods and then I ended up leaving work early. Just could not seem to concentrate, hopefully today will be a better day.
I think our ..."
Sharon wrote: "Sarah R wrote: "Sharon wrote: "Sarah R wrote: "Have you enabled all the writing aids on Microsoft word?..."
That's a great idea. I'm swapping between word and open office. I've lost the disc so ..."
Hola Sharon, What was your score? To find out how your work compares to your favourite author type in a chapter from their book and run it through the readability truc and see how they did! Google Flesch Kincaid readability scores on the net and read the piece then you will get a clearer view of how it will help you. I write letters at 10 to 15 the score stops at 15 I believe, that's my legal training coming through.
Still raining here on and off, for ten minutes we actually saw the sun too.
Oh god dog farts are rank, silent and deadly the first inkling you have is when the smell hits home!
Morning sharon, dead body sandwiches, yum! Yep we were wondering where you went. I had Irene's rundown on HOD today she is loving it and is, like you, hanging on the thread waiting for the next instalment!
I worked on it last night, there was some paranormal guff on television last night, that and spiderman 2 woohoo! Fingers down throat French television sucks sometimes and last night was a prime example!
I had the double helping of Gordon Ramsey yesterday evening with a supper of fish and chips with a giant pickled onion, just what I needed. WHat is this I was reading about microsoft word? Think I am having a blonde day to day.I have 1 and a bit clinics to type today which will not take me long.
Sharon wrote: "I had the double helping of Gordon Ramsey yesterday evening with a supper of fish and chips with a giant pickled onion, just what I needed. WHat is this I was reading about microsoft word? Think ..."Readability scores on Microsoft word a writing tool, for Spanish Sharon, this is getting as confusing as you and I before Trace! I think one of you is going to have to resort to a middle name or something before we all get totally confrused!
Woo hoo, 1 tape down and 1 to go. I have coffee and it seems that nothing is stopping me (but that wont last long) ;o)
Darkangel wrote: "Woo hoo, 1 tape down and 1 to go. I have coffee and it seems that nothing is stopping me (but that wont last long) ;o)"Darkangel wrote: "Have already changed it ;o)"
Good thinking, I will call you Angel! Alain came home early today, lol lunch was still WIP, marinated sausages (beer, mustard,worcestershire sauce, garlic honey and tomato puree) if you marinade overnight before barbecueing your sausages taste yummy, I then reduce the marinade in a saucepan until thick and serve with the sausages!
We're having ours with mashed potatoes and peas and because they haven't marinated very long I am cooking them in the oven in the sauce!
Sounds delightful - I am having rivita and roasted red pepper humous - yummy, well when I am hungry I will.
Darkangel wrote: "Have already changed it ;o)"niiiice!
Sarah R wrote: "What was your score?"Erm I think it was something embarassing like 80 - which is something a 15 year old could read easily. Good idea about comparing with other authors - I'm gonna have a play later!
Oh! We're on food again? Yummy ham and cheese toastie for lunch and I didn't even have to get up - Simon made it! Nom nom om
Darkangel wrote: "Sounds delightful - I am having rivita and roasted red pepper humous - yummy, well when I am hungry I will."I was just about to ask what rivita was, then I worked it out, definition of Ryvita low cal cardboard/bread substitute! Yummy, I like the dark rye with oats - can't get it here probably just as well I like it with butter on the holy side!
Sharon wrote: "Sarah R wrote: "What was your score?"Erm I think it was something embarassing like 80 - which is something a 15 year old could read easily. Good idea about comparing with other authors - I'm gon..."
We are still waiting for the sausages and spuds, having an appero- rose with creme de pamplemousse - very refreshing! Hic!
Just seen the new cover for JK Rowlings book naf - Let's hope the interior is better than the cover. someone just pointed out the similarity in her choice of names her dead councillor is called Barry! Not ever so origninal!
80 is your book YA or Adult?
Sorry, blonde day - I did mean ryvita, mine is with sesame seeds.I saw the cover today in the free newspaper on the train, and I agree, it's certainly bold but I am not too sure about it.
Well at the moment it would appear it's YA! LOL. I think I need to go back an re-write some of it. I have later scenes planned that are definitely aimed at adults. :-(I just signed up for an account with www.reviewfuse.com as I thought it might be useful to get some completely unbiased reaction - since I chat to some of my GR reviewers all the time. I wish I hadn't now. Here's my first review and as he described my dialogue as "wretched," that's pretty much how I'm feeling now. Ho hum.
My Thoughts (2 stars)
Star Description: I did not enjoy the chapter.
Reviewer Comments: I'm perfectly willing to enjoy and believe a story about vampires if the characters are depicted with psychological depth, there is credible dialog, and the prose is fresh. This chapter did not have any of those features.
Character Development (3 stars)
Star Description: The characters were not credible, interesting or unique. I don’t care about or understand the characters because they were poorly developed.
Reviewer Comments: I think the writer's intention was that Lena is supposed to be an "anti-heroine," smart-ass and cynical. I could perhaps have sympathy for a sociopath vampire if she was depicted with genuine charm, but Lena is just a badly-written killing-device.
The Beginning (4 stars)
Star Description: The chapter introduces a problem for the protagonist, but I don’t know why it’s important and/or it does not feel like an immediate resolution is needed. I might read the next chapter.
Reviewer Comments: The story opens with a ridiculous, badly-described massacre. It was a chore to keep reading on.
Setting (4 stars)
Star Description: I know when and where the chapter takes place but I can only vaguely picture it in my mind. The setting did not add to or distract from the chapter.
Reviewer Comments: A cabal of aristocratic vampires, defended by a warrior-chick... Didn't I see this done before (and better) in Kate Beckinsale's Underworld movies already?
Mechanics (2 stars)
Star Description: The story contained so many mechanical errors that it was hard to follow the plot or understand certain sentences or paragraphs.
Reviewer Comments: Every scene was a just a collection of patched-together cliches.
Dialog (1 stars)
Star Description: The dialog caused more confusion than clarification about the characters. It was almost impossible to follow.
Reviewer Comments: "Long gone are the days when I commanded the Dhelweard." Absolutely wretched.
That is harsh. I don't even think that is constructive criticism. It feels like the reviewer doesn't like the theme and slated everything about it.
Darkangel wrote: "That is harsh. I don't even think that is constructive criticism. It feels like the reviewer doesn't like the theme and slated everything about it."That's what I thought. I have replied to him to ask him to explain his comments, especially the "wretched" comment, but I doubt I'll hear back from him. I don't mind getting criticism as it generally helps me to improve but this was just horrible. It gave no pointers or instruction whatsoever. Still effin depressing though. I take time to explain things when I review other people's work and he clearly couldn't be bothered.
Of course that all sounds very good, but it's now playing on my mind. Time for another ciggie I reckon. :-(
Well it looked like you got good feedback from here. I just browsed over the comments in your writing. I have to admit, I have not read your writing yet, I may have to print it off and read it on the train tonight (if you don't mind).
No of course I don't mind! I think if the reviews from reviewfuse are all equally unhelpful I'll stop my membership. Don't get me wrong - I can take criticism so don't be afraid to tell me anything, but this chap didn't explain himself at all. I know it still needs editing but I need to leave it alone for a bit before I can do that, so what you'll see is the very first version of chapters 2 and 3. I've played with the structure a little bit for chapter 1 but haven't done any major re-writes yet.
No problem. I love vamp books so I will definitely be honest ;o) I joined the poetry forum to put my poems on and get criticism/comments back. I chose full critique so that people can be as honest as they want and so far I have had good feed back.
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Struggling Writers
Books mentioned in this topic
Faking Grace (other topics)Faking Grace (other topics)
Naked Heat (other topics)
In The Devil's Own Words, Catedral Cronicles (other topics)
Yep been there how can they say that's illegal you can't get your shoe caught on the pedal that way.