Why did you forgive Alexander for Dasha?

[Tina]

I just can't figure out when the last time Alexander was "knocking" Dasha because....

In August when Tatiana was back from Luga, broken leg, was on the roof having trouble with Dimitri trying to kiss her and getting more out of her... Alexander is down stairs with Dasha...Tatiana comes back from the roof and is sitting in the kitchen window when Alexander sees her and asks her what's wrong...she tells him that she can't take it anymore (him and Dimitri) and she wants him to break it off with Dasha and not to come around anymore....and he convinces her that he has to come around and she says" Well fine, I'll be making dinner for you and having it off with your best friend while you're knocking around with my sister" and Alexander doesn't say anything and leaves....Now does he do that because he is "knocking" around with Dasha?

But then I thought: He hasn't been with Dasha since....Tatiana and her father have that fight when her father hits her and Dasha takes her father's side and Alexander comes between Tatiana and her father and also tells Dasha she better not ever hit Tatiana again or they are through. I really don't think from then on they ever have sex again.

But....When they are on St. Issacs and Tatiana tells him what cousin Marina has said about soldiers, "that all soldiers have it off with garrison hacks nonstop and never say no" and she asks if he has done that...and he tells her the truth.. that he has...but then he tells her " Tatiana, all the things your're worried about, they're gone from my life. Do you know why? Because I met you".

Now you tell me, has he been "knocking" around with Dasha all along, stopped when he saw how they treat Tatiana by hitting her, or never did "knock" around with her since meeting Tatiana?

I know that Alexander and Dasha are alone a lot, but doesn't say what they are doing, only what Tatitana thinks they are doing.

[Hildy]

Hi Tina,
I know, it really is confusing. I liked your quotes. Let me try to respond to each:

I think Alexander leaves her on the roof, after she made that comment, because he was sleeping with Dasha and felt bad about what she said.

I also, think that Alexander tried to avoid Dasha during those times after Tatiana got back from the hospital. I don't think he wanted to sleep with her but I think it was hard to avoid sometimes. I don't think he slept with her every time they were alone, but I think it happened.

When Alexander responded to Marina's ideas about soldiers, I think he was talking about not going out and knocking all of the other girls that he did before. He was still doing that when he met Dasha but he stopped that when he met Tatiana.

I guess I could believe that he didn't sleep with Dasha when Tatiana was out on the roof, but it doesn't jive with the quote from Dasha that says that they didn't have sex since August. Tatiana was in Luga at the end of July. Doesn't that mean that they would have had to have sex after Luga? Cause just before that, Dasha and Alexander weren't even together.

Perhaps Paullina made an error in her timeline. But if she didn't, I think he stopped having sex with Dasha either after her family hurt Tatiana (good point btw) or after St. Isaac's. The St. Isaac's visit was at the very end of August.

[Jessica]

We should ask Paullina to clarify! Although I'm sure she's probably answered this question already on the forum on her website!

[Hildy]

I'd like for Paullina to answer this question as well, although I think it has been discussed at length on her website and I've never seen her answer the question. I haven't checked for awhile though. Maybe she would answer on FB.

[Megan]

Perhaps Paullina Simons left it open to interpretation?! The romantics can believe Alexander didn't have sex with Dasha after Luga, and those who want to can think he did?! I personally think he did. He was a sexually active young man who had it thrown at him - seriously, what man wouldn't?! I personally think that his love for Tatiana played some part in Alexander and Dasha stopping having sex but I think the major reason was the advancement of the war. They were cold, starving and fighting for their lives... Not the most arousing conditions?! It doesn't bother me if he was or wasn't having sex with Dasha after Luga - Tatiana held the cards and made it perfectly clear he should be with Dasha. He was in a lose/lose situation so far as Tatiana was concerned. What bothered me was the marriage arrangement (I refuse to call it a proposal - Dasha hounded him and he agreed)

[Hildy]

Oh believe me, I am one who truly wishes he didn't sleep with Dasha after Luga but I just don't see how that works. :) I agree though that Tatiana really forced him into the situation so I can't be mad at him. She asked him to make Dasha happy and we all know what would make us happy, so we can't really blame Dasha for being persistent either. :) Megan, I really don't know how Alexander planned to get out of the marriage deal. I know this is terrible to say, but I'm pretty sure he was relieved when he found Dasha was dead. He dodged a huge bullet there. lol.

[Milena]

I don't think he was relieved that Dasha died. He loves Tatiana and he knows that she loves Dasha very much, so it would not make him happy. Tatiana and Alexander have conversation about Dasha in Lazarevo and he says that he would tell Dasha the truth about them if she was alive when he came to Lazarevo.

[Hildy]

Well, I was kinda kidding. :) Maybe that didn't translate so well in print. I don't think he wished her death and he certainly felt pain for Tatiana's loss, but things were easier for him without Dasha. He wouldn't have found immediate happiness with Tania if Dasha was alive. So her death allowed him to have a life with Tatiana sooner and in that way he must have felt some relief, because they could finally stop struggling. Some weight was lifted.

Oh crap! I make no sense! :) I really don't mean for it to sound as bad as it sounds! I'm not cold-hearted. LOL. I know he wasn't breaking out the party hats.

[Tina]

I agreee with Milena. I think if Dasha was alive when Alexander found Tatiana in Lazarevo, I think the lying would have stopped. He went to Lazarevo to find Tatiana, not Dasha. But,unfortunately Dasha died, and yes it was much easier on him.

As for this whole Alexander/Dasha sleeping together thing after Luga...I think the way Paullina wrote it leaves it up to the reader as to whether you want to believe he did or not. It's your interpetation of it all. I personally in my heart want to believe he didn't, but I think after reading it over and over, I think he did, at least a few times. I don't think he does after St. Issac's and especially not after the fight with Tatiana's father. I think Tatiana is his one and only from then on...even if their situation didn't get so dire, I think he was done with Dasha.

[Hildy]

Oh, I agree that Alexander would have come clean in Lazarevo. I do wonder what Tatiana would have done though. I know eventually they would have been together but I wonder how she would have reacted to Alexander breaking Dasha's heart.

[Megan]

I think he knew Dasha probably died, she didn't have the physical or mental strength to fight the odds - it wasn't that he was relieved, I think he expected that she'd be dead going by her condition the last time he saw her. I think if he had even the slightest incling she'd survive the journey, I don't think he would've put himself in a position where he might HAVE to marry Dasha. I think he would've stayed put, but the fact that there was no contact from either of them probably made him crazy so went to Lazarevo not to find out if Dasha died (for he knew she did) but if Tatiana survived...

[Kelly]

I think in the end Dasha still haunts poor Tatia, even in TSG she can't help but feel guilty over the events that happen in TBH. When Alexander finds her at the construction site in Florida and she has been sitting all day thinking.

Even in the end Dasha still was coming between them.

I think I have said before for Alexander it was only sex (though he may have cared for her because Tatiana does)

In my thinking they DID NOT have actaul sex after Luga (this is in my head of course LOL)

[Toni]

I think you maybe right that it is up to interpretation, but I don't think he slept with Dasha after Luga (tho your detective work Peg is quite good!!!!). I say this because yes Alexander was a sexually active man before meeting Tatiana, but he wanted to change so I think that would have made it much easier for him not to be with Dasha and also I beleive that honor was very important to Alexander and I don't think he would have been able to betray Tatiana like that. Now Iknow that she wanted him to (well I don't think she WANTED him to sleep with Dasha but based on the situation she created, she couldn't have been mad if he did) be with Dasha and love her and not herself, and Alexander only went thru with that in order to be with Tatiana. I think he knew that Tatiana was passionate enough a person to be incensed if he had slept with Dasha and I think that Alexander would have died before hurting her (I say that before TSG and the Carmen situation -yech!!!-but that was a whole other can of worms). The only way I think he would have slept with Dasha was to keep up the act that Tatiana placed on him for him to even be in her company. I don't think he would have done it out of a manly need because I think it is shown t hat for as much as Alexander is a sexual man he is much more invested in his love for Tatiana then for the sex (or he would have sealed the deal many times before Lazarevo with the woman he truly loved and desired).
I do think it would have all come out with the wash in Lazarevo too. I'm not sure he knew that Dasha would die, it did seem entirely possible but that was a heck of a risk to take to propose marriage to the love of your life's sister in the 'hope'(I don't mean hope, but the thought that she wouldn't make it) that she would die. But that said I didn't really don't get why he did proposed at first. He could well have kept the relationship going without proposing. Its not like they were going out for years and he was in a poor spot and had to do it to keep up the act properly. The only reason I can fathom he proposed to Dasha was to force Tatiana's hand. She wouldn't come clean while they were in a relationship, but perhaps he thought she would if he was going to marry Dasha. Perhaps he thought that she wouldn't allow that final lifelong connection to go through, for as much as Tatiana kept forcing Dasha upon him she never really gave him up herself. She kept the 'touches' going and the serving him first, they had their moments enough that Alexander knew she loved him as much as he her etc...So I think he might have believed that she was still wanting to be with him but needed the stakes raised to be able to come clean and that was his reason for the proposal, otherwise to me it makes no sense

[Hildy]

Toni, I love your thoughts. Thank you. I would love to be wrong about this. I hope I am.

My question is: When do you think he last slept with Dasha then? We know that he met Tatiana in June. He broke up with Dasha when? mid-July? Then went to Luga at the end of July. When do you think he stopped with Dasha? I always though he wasn't having sex with with Dasha while Tatiana was on the roof but when Dasha mentioned August, it really messed up my thinking. Previously, I had thought that he hadn't had sex with her after June, when he met Tatiana.

I'm not trying to be a trouble-maker! :) I'm really just curious about your thoughts. I agree, though, even if he did, I only think he would have done it because of Dasha's insistence and not because he really wanted to be with her.

[Kelly]

I don't have my book with me but when Dasha and Tatiana are speaking in bed about it she says something to the effect of he makes sweet love to you and Dasha he hasn't touched her since was it August?? But my point is could is it for sure sex and not just fooling around and I'm not saying that is right either but perhaps he was just holding her off giving a little to keep up the illusion.

??? thoughts?

[Kelly]

So today I went to the movies and saw Something Borrowed. Based on it was really really true to the book and I enjoyed it verra much!! I recommend it

I found the situation the 3 main characters are in verra similar to Alexander/Dasha/Tatiana.

After the more and more I thought about it I am so excited for TBH movie. This movie was exactly the movie I had in my head while I was reading Something Borrowed. Although Kate Hudson is not a favorite she was a perfect Darcy. Ginnifer Goodwin is a doll! So I have hope that a perfect TBH will and can be made!

It was also made perfectly clear when the X stopped sleeping with Y!!

[Hildy]

Kelly, I loved Something Borrowed, the book and the movie! The reviews have been awful but my sister and I had a wonderful afternoon out watching the movie and laughing and crying. I'd recommend it as well. I thought the casting was great. Have you read Something Blue? I think I loved it even more.

I don't have my TBH copy with me either, but weren't Tania and Dasha talking about whether Dasha could be pregnant and then Dasha mentions that they hadn't been together since August. Again, I might be wrong. Maybe I've got this mixed up.

[Kelly]

Peg wrote: "Kelly, I loved Something Borrowed, the book and the movie! The reviews have been awful but my sister and I had a wonderful afternoon out watching the movie and laughing and crying. I'd recommend it..."

I think I could go crazy trying to figure it out so I'll just let it be with how I interpreted it the first read. She is his from the moment the laid eyes on each other all else seems not to matter!! :)

[Kelly]

Peg wrote: "Kelly, I loved Something Borrowed, the book and the movie! The reviews have been awful but my sister and I had a wonderful afternoon out watching the movie and laughing and crying. I'd recommend it..."

I may read Something Blue again I remember I read it in Alaska while on a cruise and not liking it as much but I can't remember why or much about it.
The casting was perfect I loved it too! I was hoping it would do well so they would make Something Blue!

[Toni]

Peg wrote: "Toni, I love your thoughts. Thank you. I would love to be wrong about this. I hope I am.

My question is: When do you think he last slept with Dasha then? We know that he met Tatiana in June. He b..."

Peg you're no troublemaker, just a big fan of TBH!! It is an interesting question, that is for sure. I do see your point, the facts of diaglogue do point to the idea that they were together in August, but I have to say I feel the same way as Kelly. I think that when Dasha said the last time they were together was August meant that they may have fooled around, but I don't think it was making love and it was only to appease Dasha, if he did nothing Dasha would be sure to figure something was up. Some people have said that Alexander was just in it for the sex, but he could've had that with Tatiana the one woman he truly desired (she was more than willing to give herself to Alexander-he was the one who stopped it). Why be with Dasha then? It would only serve to hurt Tatiana and he would have been getting second best in his mind. Alexander was dissolute once and once sleeping with a woman, any woman was his calling card, but he was searching for more...searching for a Tatiana to take him away from that life. Then he found her!! There are two solid reasons he wouldn't have slept with Dasha just for the sport of it. He was a man who believed strongly in honor and I don't think he would have gone back to that way of life when he was so in love with Tatiana. It could be looked at in the sense that Tatiana wouldnt be with him, so why not be with Dasha, but the truth is for all that Tatiana pushed him on Dasha, she never gave up the love affair between them. With the 'touches' the 'words', the 'looks', her serving him first...all the things that kept them 'together' she wouldn't give up. She gave up Dasha to him in sight, but not in mind, not in heart and Alexander knew that. He wouldn't betray the woman he wanted beyond anything else for a quick hook up with her sister, no matter what Tatiana said. He planned on being with Tatiana and I think he would have known it would have killed her and dishonored her if he was to be with Dasha. Yikes! I sound like the troublemaker. Pretty harsh. I don't mean it to sound that way, I'm just passionate about their love affair and in my humble opinion he wasn't with Dasha...but it's only my opinion...

[Toni]

So you guys would recommend Something Borrowed? to read I mean? Was it REALLY good?

[Hildy]

Toni, thanks for your thoughts again. I like your ideas. Maybe I will try to be less factual and more romantic, and push the timeline out of my head. I'd like it better that way anyhow. I'd like to ask Paullina, flat out, but authors try to be all ambiguous sometimes. :) I don't think she'd answer in a straightforward way.

Re: Something Borrowed: I'd recommend it. It's different though. I was at a point in my reading where I needed something lighter. I had read all of TBH series, the Outlander series, The Hunger Games, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo and Tully. I was getting too intense!! lol. I needed that book desperately! It's not life changing, but I enjoyed it immensely. Emily Giffin writes chick lit. but she always deals with issues that aren't so black and white. It gets you thinking. She also doesn't right about perfect characters. All of my friends enjoyed it. But it's not an epic love story. It's light and fun, with some heartache included. I liked it a lot. There is a sequel called Something Blue as well.

[Kelly]

Toni wrote: "So you guys would recommend Something Borrowed? to read I mean? Was it REALLY good?"

Toni wrote: "So you guys would recommend Something Borrowed? to read I mean? Was it REALLY good?"

Peg wrote: "Toni, thanks for your thoughts again. I like your ideas. Maybe I will try to be less factual and more romantic, and push the timeline out of my head. I'd like it better that way anyhow. I'd like to..."

I'm not a fan of chic lit but I loved
Great summer/beach read!

[Toni]

Peg wrote: "Toni, thanks for your thoughts again. I like your ideas. Maybe I will try to be less factual and more romantic, and push the timeline out of my head. I'd like it better that way anyhow. I'd like to..."

Peg
Don't stop being factual! I mean it is always good to have a romantic mindset, but I see you have that as well. I actually appreciated your facts, I hadn't noticed it (only read it twice and I tend to get so swept up that I read like a demon trying to get to the next revelation etc..so sometimes I pass by such info)but it did make me think and in doing so it made me look deeper into the character's and their motivation's, mindset, etc... Might not have reflected so deeply if you hadn't brought it up for discussion. Books and book discussion requires a romantic mindset (for love stories) as well as a factual mindset to uncover the deeper elements of the book. All writers, even in a love story, write a bit of a mystery with certain events in one part being revlealed down the road in the story, and just in the sense of any and every character (just like in every person on the planet) there is mystery and so many many levels of character (like peeling an onion...each layer gets closer and closer to our core)so facts do set up a character's 'character' by setting up situations with limitations and other detailed elements to further carry that character along in his/her portrayal. The romantic mind helps flesh out the facts, making it take on the sweeping element of the character's mindset when it comes to love, their heart and their soul, so both are important in my mind.
This is all imho, of course. hehehe
But don't stop being you..I personally LOVED what you had to offer and how you pushed us (or at least me, can only speak for myself) to think beyond the obvious. Bravo!!!

[Toni]

Kelly wrote: "Toni wrote: "So you guys would recommend Something Borrowed? to read I mean? Was it REALLY good?"

Toni wrote: "So you guys would recommend Something Borrowed? to read I mean? Was it REALLY good?"
..."
thanks for the post Kelly, I'll look into it! :)

[Hildy]

Toni wrote: "Peg wrote: "Toni, thanks for your thoughts again. I like your ideas. Maybe I will try to be less factual and more romantic, and push the timeline out of my head. I'd like it better that way anyhow...."

Awwww. thanks Toni!! Believe me, when I started snooping around the book for a clear timeline, I was upset with myself when I found some facts. I was like, "WHY??? WHY????" LOL. I liked it way better when I could make up my own conclusions!!

One of my best friends just finished the book and hasn't even mentioned any of that, so we'll just pretend it didn't happen. :) I'm slightly evil and didn't tell her there were more books. I wanted her to experience the book in itself. She's so happy that I dropped off the second one today!! She was trying to come to terms with the ending.

[Toni]

Peg
your friend must have been soo excited to have more!!!
I remember I didn't know there were more either and then I accidentally came across it while looking for more books on amazon.com and I screamed so loud I had my husband running into the room thinking I was being attacked (you can imagine how he felt when he found out that he'd just about had a heart attack because I found a book I was excited about. He didn't have to say a word - I could tell by the look on his face that he wanted to throttle me.....but he didn't read TBH so he couldn't possibly know that my reaction was completely normal :) ). Although I am sooo beyond happy that I got to experience this absolutely amazing series, I wish to pieces I was just opening the first one, TBH, this minute, so I could experience 'my first time' all over again!!!

[Tina]

Toni, I had the same experience. When I read TBH I didn't know there was more!!! I went on Paullina's website and BAM!! I found the other 2 books. I was sooo excited, I screamed too!! :) and ordered them at that moment.

[Toni]

The BEST feeling, right? Knowing that there was more of those sublime characters!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If only they made more books like that! When I'm 90 I will still have that love affair between Alexander and Tatiana etched into my mind. Absolutely a classic...