Miìmz's writing

[[deleted user]]

Hi! Please check out my writing!

The Pretty Wicked (Untamed#1):
http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/2...
Beautiful Creatures (The Angel Diaries):
http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/2...
Ashes Of Innocence (NY#1):
http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/2...

:D

[C]

I just read the first chapter of "Pretty Wicked" and I must say that I am really impressed with it :D Lately I've lost all hope in any sort of vampire related stories but yours is truly spectacular. Your descriptions are what really blew me away, especially in the first paragraph when you describe Adam and the golden liquid. They were very vivid and I could totally see the whole scene playing out in my head.

I only caught one typo:
"My eyes widened in chock as I watched a golden liquid pouring out of the wound."- I think that 'chock' was meant to be 'shock'.

Also you say that the setting is in Rome during 1237. The names "Adam" and "Katrina" don't exactly fit with that time period. That's not too big of an issue but it's just something that I thought I'd point out.

I'll definitely be reading the rest and I hope that you continue writing more!!

[C]

Here are my comments on Chapter 2(Fire) of "Pretty Wicked"...

"Those few words that haunted me all my life, which is pretty long, repeated themselves over and..."- This is just a suggestion but maybe put the section 'which is pretty long' in parentheses instead of separating it with commas. I think that would just help the whole sentence to flow a bit better.

"The woman took me in, given me food and shelter."- I think that 'given' should be changed to 'gave'.

"Who really am I?:- I liked this part when Katrina was remembering the old woman. It really gave some insight into Katrina's character.

"I shuddered at the thought, and looked at the ceiling."- I don't think that you need a comma here.

"The locker’s metal was deformed, and his fist was photographed in it."- I love your word choice in this sentence :D

Once again I loved it!! I meant to say in my first review that I really like your title for the story. I can't wait to see where this is going but I have a feeling that it's going to be epic! :D

[[deleted user]]

Hmmm. . .some of those titles sound intriguing. AH! Why did I log on here so early in the morning. I keep going through y'all posts going OH! Must read! But I shall try to read at least one of your pieces, soon. I have no homework and am on break.

Victory. XD

[[deleted user]]

@Carina I didn't pay attention to all those things!! Thanks for pointing them out!
@Ingrid and Lou Thanks :D

[[deleted user]]

I'm researching on Roman names and Roman history, so I'm going to change a few things soon! Please tell me if these names are good (the name is with it's mythology or meaning):
Instead of Katrina:
Maia : Roman Godess of Growth and Increase
Diana : Roman Godess of Fertility, Hunting and the Moon
Venus : Roman Godess of Beauty and Love
Instead of Adam:
Antonius : N/A
Cornelius : Horned
Corvinus : Little Raven
Florentius : Charming

[C]

I really like Maia and Venus for Katrina and Corvinus for Adam :)

[[deleted user]]

Lover Joker: When Ian, the hot quarterback, start falling for Taylor, Goth girl, their lives are turned upside down.
Link: http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/2...