Dangerous Hero Addict Support Group discussion
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Possessive or Just Dog in the Manger? Is there a difference?
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I love it when they do that growl "MINE!" and then shows just how much "mine" they are.
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I hate commitment issues from both the hero and the heroine. I can't stand it when the heroine is all too tough to deal with her feelings. It bothers me just as much as when the heroes do it.
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I love the possessive alpha hero. I never believe the "I don't want her, but don't want anyone else to have her either" attitude. He always wants her no matter what. He just uses the attitude to cover up the truth, and that is he doesn't believe he can have her or even deserve her.
I love a possessive hero!!! But he needs to be loving, it has to come from a genuine place of love.
Debbie wrote: "I love the possessive alpha hero. I never believe the "I don't want her, but don't want anyone else to have her either" attitude. He always wants her no matter what. He just uses the attitude to co..."Well said, Debbie!
And it's because he's such an alpha that he can't admit how much he DOES want her - which is why he doesn't want anyone else to have her!
You finished what I should have said Tammy. LOL!
Great minds think alike, wouldn't you say? LOL.
I really like the possessive hero! Love how he goes 'mine'!But the one who goes, I don't want her but no one else won't have her, doesn't qualify as hero for me. That's just too petty a thought.
the word possessive gets my feminist hackles up. I don't like it. Concern hero could be a better term. As for the dog in the manger type, it can be a great character flaw, if written properly. Many people never want to own up to what they are actually feeling. Especially if it goes against what they are trying to achieve. In their minds the dog has already placed the heroine in a can't touch box. However the heroine is still irresistible or precious, therefore a temptation to powerful to overcome.
Tammy wrote: "Debbie wrote: "I love the possessive alpha hero. I never believe the "I don't want her, but don't want anyone else to have her either" attitude. He always wants her no matter what. He just uses the..."EXACTLY! When his gut feeling says "Mine" but he's too stubborn to admit and surrender to the feeling. I think, that's when the "no one can have her" comes to play. He's buying time while he's sorting out his true feeling. And mostly, found himeself in-love with her already.
I love a possessive hero in my reading but in RL it would drive me crazy. I need my space.I don't like heroes that are dog in the manger. If I'm reading a book with an "oh, you want her. No. I want her now" hero and it can't be explained why he's acting that way he just comes across as whiney & a jerk to me.
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Lady Danielle, also if a person starts out being needy that usually turns into controlling. Does that make sense??
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"...married a girl that was a good ten years younger than him and easily led."Hopefully only until the day she wakes up, smells the beans and dumps his insecure a**.
Sorry ladies, I'm butting in.
I think it's one thing to be controlling because you're arrogant (I'm thinking romance novels) - that can be fixed (usually only through sheer determination on the woman's part, lol). The other type of controlling, like Othena says, comes from needy. And in my experience that also means insecure. Quite a slippery slope if you step onto it.
I think that's why I have such trouble with the heroes that are too tortured -- those "I'm too damaged, you're too good for me, I must leave you" types. It smacks to me of manipulation and insecurity and I don't find either of those very attractive.
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I wonder if she'll stay biddable as she gets older. He did something pretty bad to her, IMHO. He went and got a vasectomy and didn't even tell her was doing it, until after the fact. I know it's his body, but I didn't agree with him doing it so dishonestly-- when she found out he was doing it, it was too late. I guess he figured that now there was no question about them not having kids.
What an a**hole. A friend of mine married a guy who did that, and that lie was the least of the issues she ended up having with him. Control, insecurity, you name it. She left after about 6 years, and it took 2 more to finally shake him. He STILL 'pokes' her on Facebook.
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He's so deluded he thinks they should 'bury the hatchet' and go for coffee. Silly man. I guess the stalking charges and restraining order didn't give him message. She just ignores him.
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What do you think about the difference?
How do you feel about possessive heroes?