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When do you need to send a thank you note, and when can you skip it?
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I don't understand the necessity of sending thank you notes to those who bring a gift to a wedding or bridal shower, except for those who send a gift but are unable to attend. When a person opens a gift at a shower, they always (usually) say thank you to the giver then and there. Why is an additional thank you required?
I'm really slack. I always intend to send thank you's but never quite get round to it, I gave up years ago. With my kids I try and make sure the gift is opened in front of the giver. As far as I am concerned that's good enough. The thanks is more genuine (otherwise my kids get a clip under the ear).
the gifts i get are always given in person so i don't see the need to write thank you notes.
Jan wrote: "I don't understand the necessity of sending thank you notes to those who bring a gift to a wedding or bridal shower, except for those who send a gift but are unable to attend. When a person opens a..."Because my grandmothers and my mother told me so. It's also nice to receive thank-you notes in the mail now and then.
I like getting personal notes in the mail also. Heavens knows, it's a rare occurence in today's society. My daughter is a regular thank you card sender. I'm just too lazy.
I think if you thank the person face to face or on the phone you don't need to send a note.
I'm terrible about thank you notes. I try to be better about it. I once waited so long on a gift certificate that the person died. I felt very bad about that one, and I've tried to be better since, but more likely I'll go out of my way to call or e-mail and say thank you to make sure that at least they get the thanks and acknowledgement, even if not in a better form.
>>I think good manners are timeless.<<The question though is, is it bad manners not to thank someone a second time?
If the first time was via the telephone then yes, it is a lapse in manners not to send a written note.Situations where I believe it mandatory to write a personal thank-you:
1. When someone sends you a gift. There is no need to write if the gift was a thank-you from that person to you. You'll end up going in circles.
2. When you have had a meal or attended a party at someone's residence.
3. When someone has done something thoughtful that truly resonated with you.
4. When you have stayed at someone's home (primary residence or vacation home).
I'm a terrible person. What's the statute of limitations on these things?
Are there any exceptions for working musicians who don't have staff? I stayed in a different house or hotel nearly every night of my twenties. I didn't even have addresses for half of them. I've stayed with Phil Ochs' sister, and Prince's weird healer lady, and in a very suspect couch in the Robot Mansion, and I didn't write thank yous to any of them. And yeah, I kind of knew at the time that I should too, but I didn't.
Sarah Pi wrote: "I'm a terrible person. What's the statute of limitations on these things?"I think really it's never too late, Sarah.
I can be like the guy from that Earl tv show, making amends for all of my previous slights.
Sarah Pi wrote: "Damn. I'm a terrible person."
::Hugs Sarah::, I am obviously a terrible person too.
::Hugs Sarah::, I am obviously a terrible person too.
RandomAnthony wrote: "When do you need to send a thank you note, and when can you skip it?"My opinion: when in doubt send a note. I think it's just good manners to offer thanks and show appreciation.
Mod
Situations where I believe it mandatory to write a personal thank-you:
1. When someone send..."
I agree with all this. I mail a thank you note if I've stayed at someone's house. Even though I've thanked them already, in person, at their house.
My kids either send their hosts a bread and butter letter or a gift to thank them for their hospitality.
This one throws me a little:2. When you have had a meal or attended a party at someone's residence.
Are you talking, like, formal dinner party? My neighbors and I get drunk in the backyard all summer and if they wrote me thank you notes I'd think they were fucking with me.
What's a bread and butter note?
RandomAnthony wrote: "Are you talking, like, formal dinner party? My neighbors and I get drunk in the backyard all summer and if they wrote me thank you notes I'd think they were fucking with me."Let's say another couple has you over for a nice dinner to celebrate some occasion of yours (anniversary, perhaps). Here it would be appropriate to thank them - the dinner was a type of gift.
If it's BBQ in the backyard I would skip it, as these (at least here) are frequent and informal. I would make an exception if one couple ended up doing the bulk of the hosting. In that case, a hostess gift would be the way to go (and showing up empty handed every time would be extremely bad form).
Mod
That, right there, is what makes people think, "teenage boy" instead of, "old crone."
Mod
Maybe LG is really a classroom full of teenage kids trying to mess with us?
Mod
>> I would prefer a guest bring me a multipack of toilet paper<<This summer we had a neighborhood reunion. Those who still live there and others who moved away, including the children who grew up there and moved on, attended. My daughter thought to bring rolls of bathroom tissue to the family at whose house the cookout was held. I never would have thought to do that.
Mod
Phil's comment about these got me thinking, and I suck at social conventions...so let's talk it through.