Weekly Short Stories Contest and Company! discussion
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Weekly Short Story Contests
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Week 58 - (November 3rd-10th) Stories --- Topic: Pigging Out! DONE!
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im not gonna do this one... i need to catch up on nanowrimo ;D
Yeah...hahaha, good luck. Do you have your story all set?
my nanowrimo? yup... its posted on goodreads
The Magical Taste of Lozetti'sby M (about 950 words)
Nestrelda was fat. There no getting around it--or her, if she was in your way in the hall between classes. She had once been a pretty girl. Now she had a round, puffy face and a double chin.
Nestrelda couldn't seem to stop eating. Especially she loved nachos. When the bell rang after the last class of the day at Durlville High School, she went home, opened a bag of corn chips, sliced a block of sharp cheddar, and opened a jar of jalapenos. She had become a connoisseur of these things. Not just any corn chips would do, nor any jalapenos. The chips had to be a certain brand, of a certain thickness. The peppers she used had been aged to mellow perfection (and only Lozetti's carried those). She might as well have bought them by the case.
At school, other students made fun of her mercilessly. At lunch in the cafeteria, she heard Billy Bob Watson remark to his snickering friends, "Look! The tide just went out in my glass of water." In science class, Charlie Shipman had glanced over at her from his station. She heard him whisper to Alvin Brock, "Hey, Alvin! Why don't you ask Nestrelda to the dance?" Alvin had muttered something profane and quipped, "How would I get her there? I'd have to apply for a special license and show up in a moving van."
The family doctor was at his wits' end. "My nurse can't weigh her." He had shaken his head, giving her a disapproving look and her mother a discouraged one. "You'll have to go across to the hospital, where they have a freight scale." He had regarded her with worry in his eyes. "You're going to wind up diabetic," he warned Nestrelda, "with high blood pressure, liver failure, and ultimately a heart episode." She had shrugged. She wasn't an unintelligent girl. She knew what kind of future she had coming. There seemed nothing she could do about it.
One evening as she was making nachos, as she opened a new jar of Lozetti's peppers, she noticed something printed on the inside of the lid: "You are the lucky 666,666th customer. Make a wish, then eat one of our fine, aged peppers." She didn't have to formulate a wish. She already knew what she wished. It was a wish with two parts. She put the pepper slice in her mouth and chewed it up. It tasted wonderful! She could feel a magical thrill, like a warmth, spread all through her. When it subsided, she found, mysteriously, that her craving for food was gone.
The next day, in the school cafeteria, Nestrelda confronted Billy Bob Watson and his friends. Removing the cellophane wrap from a plate of nachos, she set it on the table in front of them. Billy Bob looked at her incredulously. "How many truckloads of these have you eaten?" She looked at him superciliously. "I've eaten more than a few of these," she admitted. She pointed. "I wanted you to see why. Try one." Dirk Morton eyed her suspiciously. "Don't do it, Billy Bob. There's no telling what she put on them." Hesitantly, Billy Bob tried one. "Uhm," he nodded, his mouth full, "not bad." His face flushed and his eyes got wide. Then he reached for another one. Everyone else at the table reached for one. "These are good!" Dirk conceded, his face turning red, and with a startled expression of pure ecstasy. "How do you make them?" Charlie asked. Nestrelda pulled from her blouse pocket a list of ingredients. "This is the magic formula," she divulged, handing the recipe to Billy Bob and picking up the empty plate.
After school, Nestrelda had a light snack and did her homework. She had no urge to eat nachos, no urge to eat at all. Dinner satisfied her, and she felt no need to go back for seconds. The same wasn't true for Billy Bob and his friends. "What is going on with you?" his mother asked. "You're going to break us, eating plates and plates of nachos night after night!" Billy Bob, a nacho sticking out of his mouth, held one up. "Don't knock it till you try it, Mom." His mother had shaken her head. "You know I don't like peppers." She tried one.
"Nestrelda, you're doing just fine," the doctor said as he listened to her heart then looked in her eyes, mouth, and ears. "You're losing weight consistently and at a healthy rate." Setting the scope down, he sighed. "I wish I could say the same about my other patients." Nestrelda's mother, who could smell gossip a mile away, asked, "What do you mean, Dr. Pullman?" Dr. Pullman seemed puzzled. "I can't explain it." He shrugged. "It's as if the whole town is gaining weight!"
At school, Nestrelda noticed that Dirk, Billy Bob, Charlie, Alvin, and several of their friends couldn't seem to get comfortable in their desks, but were constantly pulling at their belts as though they were too tight. Louanne Snider always looked as though her jeans had been sprayed on, but now she no longer represented a minority.
In the restroom, Nestrelda encountered a formerly petite girl, a cheerleader, who was standing in front of a mirror crying. Seeing Nestrelda, she exclaimed, "Look at me!" She pulled up her shirt tail. Nestrelda could see that she had the beginnings of a nice roll. Burying her face in her hands, the girl wept, "I don't know what's wrong with me. Oh, I've got all these papers due, and a novel to read in Mrs. Emery's class." Composing herself, she smiled at Nestrelda. "Thank heavens sixth period is coming up," she said with relief. "I'm ready to get home and make some nachos." For a moment she looked stricken. "Oh, God! I hope I'm not out of Lozetti's!"
My Image 1016 words
I sunk silently in my seat in Essie's car as she pulled over at Joe's gas station. Joe's is known for it's fatty food choice and sugary drinks but it's also the main hangout for us forty cheerleaders. Joe's is owned by Cece's dad, one of the freshman cheerleaders. Cece offered it to us as a hangout when she made the squad, we get free food, fast service and her dad's pretty easy going to as of what we do. We can be loud and annoying and he doesn't say a thing. The only problem with the hangout is the temptations.
Icecream seems to mock me on the the shelfs. It calls my name. It urges me to have just one bite but I know I can't do that. Soon after I open the box I know it will be gone and all the cheerleaders will know I am a pig.
Essie opens my door for me smiling "Ellie," she says "you're being all spacey again." I look up at her and give her a sheepish smile. She's perfect utterly perfect. She's got beautiful thick blonde hair that flows down her back, a glowing white smile, a tan body, she's captain of the cheer squad, and she's naturally thin. She also happens to be my best friend. Imagine having a best friend that's everything you're not. I mean I'll I've got is mud brown hair, hazel eyes and a dirty secret.
I step out in the car entrapped in my thoughts but Essie talks on "I called Cory and told her to tell all the girls to meet us here." she looked at her perfelt french tipped pink nails as she spoke. "I called and told George to meet me here and for you, she said playfully grabbing my hand "I called Kevin." Great. I thought. I can't throw up here anymore.
Essie caught my expression. "What's wrong"
I couldn't meet her eyes "Nothing." I murmered
A flash of relization hit her ocean-like eyes "Oh. Yeah. Sorry El. I forget sometimes. You know I can call him off tell him you're like sick or something. Right... which I mean you kinda are, but not like that I mean like with all the throwing up you do. "
I shook my head. "Nah. George'll see me and tell Kevin I'm a liar."
"No he won't. Remember me and George are official boyfriend and girlfriend now. He'll understand. Look Casey just pulled up." I turned and glanced over at Casey in her new pink convertable her daddy got her in her pink shades.
It's rumored Casey's dad bought her way onto the sheer squad. I wouldn't be surprized if it's true Casey is stinking rich. She could bathe in a pool of money everyday if she wanted to and she's spoiled. She's already had plastic surgeory on her nose twice because it was "unatractively crooked." "Hey guys. 'Sup." she called all pepy. She ran up to hug Essie and me. "Ell. What's wrong?" she said noticing my downcast eyes.
"That bulimia has really been taking a toll on you hasn't it." she said in a babylike voice. Essie shot daggers at her. All the cheer squad knew not to bring up me and Carrie's eating disorders. Carrie is just like me not all that pretty so she starves herself for long peroids of time to "melt off fat." Most of the times we go here she's on what she calls her "special diet" and won't eat anything. I usually eat what I want to and throw it up after I'm done in the reastroom. The girl are used to it and don't mention it often but the guys... have no idea of my condition.
My doctor tells me I need to stop that I'm malnurished and stuff but I know if I do I'll be fat. Uhhhhh. Treamors crawl up my back. I can't be fat. I used to be the chubbiest kid in my fourth grade class, when I moved to California. I remember crying all night after my first day because some kid had told my I looked like a walking boulder.
I'd heard about bulimia in Maryland and I decided to try it just once and... I'm hooked. My image relies on it.
"Case," I wimpered "can you take me home?" She looked genuily concerned
"'Coarse honey. Don't you worry. You look pale."
Essie followed me to Casey's car. "No." I murmred you should stay."
"Are you sure you're ok. You know I can just call this whole thing off."
"Don't worry." Case laughed "She's with me. I'll get her home ok. Won't I El."
I nodded as she pulled out of the parking lot chatting all the way. There was something I needed to do.
When I arrived home I fell weeping to my floor. I wish my mom could b here with me right now in this moment. My mom had tried to break me of this disorder once. I opened the fridge staring at all the junk food, I could feel my mouth water. "No!" I disiplined myself "This isn't why you're here." I took all the junk food into my arms and threw them into the trash can. Then I did the freezer and the cupboards. When I was done I cired a little more overcome with heavy depression.
I remember all those trips to the bathroom those girls that taunted me and those like Essie who were concerned for me, well no longer. I rebelliuosly stuck a grape in my mouth. No more junk for me. I looked longingly at the brownies in the trash bag and realized they weren't worth it.
Since that day when I woke up I've heard all things in moderation. My therapist taught me I can eat a cookie or cupcake every once in a while just not too often. Sometimes I have the urge to throw up but I rebuck it, knowing it definately didn't get me where I am today, a healthy mom of two kids and married to the man of my dreams.
Note: This is not a true story. I've just heard of bulimia in a book before and decided to base my story off that.
The description mud brown hair is fresh and vivid. I like that! I'm always suspicious of endings that don't leave me feeling at least a little uncertain. To me an ideal ending to this story might have been: ". . . a healthy mom of two kids and married to the man of my dreams. I just hope he doesn't find those bottles I've got hidden around the house."Since I wrote this, I have been informed by the woman who lives here that bulimia is not an addiction but an obsessive/compulsive disorder that can be ameliorated or resolved if the underlying psychosis is addressed. So I stand corrected, or thus fallen on my butt. Happily, I'm more than used to dusting myself off and getting back up.
Yeah I heard about bulimia in a book I read and asked my mom what it meant. When I heard the topic "pigging out." that was the first thing that came to mind. Bulimia, by the way, is bascally what you said. People are so driven by appearance that they make themselves throw up after they eat. In the example I read the girl gourges herself to get the taste and then throws it all up. I don't know anyone who does this but I've heard it happens a lot, espicially with girls, since they're more self-conscience then boys.
Oh, M, I like your story to, fun and fresh while addresing a serious problem. I love the whole nacho thing and how Nestrelda tricks the boys into trying her nachos which in turn make them fat. It portrays the message "Do what you want others to do to you," in a way. Now Nestreldas not the fat kid anymore and could, definately pick on Billy and his friends. The tables got turned. I like the spin and underlying rule. That would make a great childrens story.
Thank you, Emily! I'm really glad you liked my story, and I appreciate your comments. I figured it would get bashed, especially because of the way I started it. My experience of real life is that people and situations, if you take time to explore them, often turn out to be different from what they seem. I guess that's why I like stories that are that way.
I know, late but, M, I enjoyed your story it was very entertaining. I had to laugh at the line, "Look! The tide just went out in my glass of water."
Thanks, Stephanie! It was a blast to write, though to start with I couldn't come up with even a single idea. I just sat there until finally the first line of the story popped into my head. After that, it rolled right out. It wasn't until I was about halfway through that I figured out what the plot was.You and Alex and Esther must be working every spare minute on drafts for the Novel Writing Month contest.
M wrote: "Thanks, Stephanie! It was a blast to write, though to start with I couldn't come up with even a single idea. I just sat there until finally the first line of the story popped into my head. After th..."Well, obviously not every spare minute, I still manage to waste time on here when I should be writing. I am making good timing though...hehehehe I do work on it most of the day though. It's so much fun, you should do it.
It is! It's going wonderful! I reach 35,005 words today! Good luck on the papers. I have quite a few to correct myself. Of course, those are jsut esays so I'm guess they're pretty different from yours.
Wow, Stephanie! That's a lot of words. Did you outline the story first or just plunge in?Alex, I don't feel so bad now for getting behind on my Popcorn Served installment. I haven't figured out what to do with Putnam. Obviously, I can't do anything to him, so I may have Tavy send mosquitos or bears or something after him. It seems like every time I sit down to start on it, something comes up.
Yuck, Alex. I'm SO sorry. Thanks.M, I outlined the story. I don't like to write without one. That way I know what is going to happen.
Sorry, I lost track of time guys!You can go vote here: http://www.goodreads.com/poll/show/41...
Voting will end the 14th.
All right! M came in first place for this week's contest.
And Emily came in last but I prefer to say second...
Thanks for the participation guys!
I don't think there's an age requirement for that.
When I was your age, I had short-term memory issues only when I was in trouble for something.
Oh, M, that sounds like my younger brothers. Except they also forget things before they get in trouble which leads to the trouble.
There's an art to temporary memory loss. It's always risky, like playing dumb. Luckily for me, playing dumb was a natural role.
You and Stephanie strike me as extremely bright and motivated. It's hard for me to imagine that your parents didn't hold you accountable for everything.
Oh trust me, M, my parents hold me accountable for anything I'm supposed to be accountable for. I don't get in trouble a lot though. I consider myself mostly self-motivated. Wow, that sounded boastful :(In other news, I'm behind on several papers but I've got hundreds on all the ones I've handed in so far! Yay!
Yay, indeed! That truly is great, Stephanie! I've gotten hundreds on quizzes, but as I remember, I got a hundred on a paper only once.
That's sad. I would've thought you had gotten more than that.
Regrettably, grades never mattered much to me. I was not what you would call a motivated student, unless you include Frisbee golf as an extracurricular activity.
If I had to do sports, I'd definately get an F.
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Please post directly into the topic and not a link. Please don't use a story previously used in this group.
Your story should be 300-2,500 words long.
The topic this week is: Pigging Out!
The rules are pretty loose. You could write a story about anything that has to do with the subject. I do not care, but it must relate to the story somehow.
Have Fun!