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Run - Aways
message 1:
by
Rayne
(new)
Oct 22, 2010 01:37PM
Do you think its right to run away when things get tough at home?? Personally if you have the right stuff, money, shelter and know your place around. You'll be OK, as long as you know that your mommy wont be able to tuck you in.
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I've never had to personally deal with something like this, but I would imagine sometimes running away is better than the alternative.
Ur mommy did many things for u, as did ur dad. cept for kepping u in her tummy for nine mtnths then going thru labour, wich is painful, she's been there for u till now. do u think it's fair?
Not if say, your dad was....abusive and your mum an alcholic. You could run - away and live with some relative or a good friend. And in the situation, you could've have been a mistake, an accident that didnt want to happen and your parents could be abusing you.
Doesn't it depend on what you're running away from? If there is actual physical abuse or neglect, then you should get the heck out. If it's simply having a hard time communicating with your parents or not liking certian rules or something similar, then running away is probably not the answer and will only makes thing worse. Also would matter how old you are.
I agree wid watevr u said cept neglect. Evn if a child is neglected and not given enuff love, they shldn't run away. they shld try to get the situation rite.
Mmmmmm, it also depends if you have the right guts to even do it. Some people are afraid what are on the streets and all. But say if its a hard time communicating than if your not happy you know the number to Childline.
I agree Gatorman. The situation would be very important, as well as age.
The Angel Rayne, can you post that number? It might be beneficial to other members of the group.
The Angel Rayne, can you post that number? It might be beneficial to other members of the group.
Well I think this is for UK or something, this is back from IrelandChildline: 1800 666666
Cura(Pregnancy Counselling Service): 1850 622626
Rape Crisis Centre: 1800 778888
Thanks :). Should we just call you "The Angel Rayne" or do you have another name you'd like us to use?
Her names Rayne. We guys call her Ray, rite Ray? lol
Coolio. Well, thanks for posting the numbers, Ray.
I think it depends on the situation, i agree with Rj Amina, i think it would be selfish to run away, but only in certian circumstances. Like i had a friend that ran away once because she had an argument with her mum. I think it was selfish to run away and over dramatic, but if there was a horrible situation at home i think leaving to live with someone you trust would be acceptable.
Rj Amina wrote: "I agree wid watevr u said cept neglect. Evn if a child is neglected and not given enuff love, they shldn't run away. they shld try to get the situation rite."But is it the child's responsibility to take care of the parents, make sure they notice the kid?
The parents should be the adult, not the kid.
Parents aren't bound to give u all their tym... u haven't any rite to run away just because they dnt giv u tym.
If they dont make you happy or show you love and care than they have no right to make decisions for you. If you want you can run away, only if you know whats going to happen and your prepared. Go to a reletive or friend. Sometimes if you think the problem can be solved maybe talk it out and if nothing changes, pack your bag and leave a note.
If they agree then there's no problem with u staying wid a frend, or ur grandmother or aunt or anyone. But just going like dat? Evn if they deprive u of love, they have done much for u. Imagine what wld've happened to u if after birth (which is hard in itself) they threw u in a junk pile and left u? What u r today is because of there care.
If you keep talking and nothing changes. What if they never wanted you?? What if they always told you you were a mistake, an accident. They properly only kept you for social welfare or something.
Rj Amina wrote: "Parents aren't bound to give u all their tym... u haven't any rite to run away just because they dnt giv u tym."Did I say that they should give the kid all their time? Nope, I don't believe I did. I said that it is the parents job to take care of the child, thus giving them/him/her attention. If someone isn't ready to push his or hers own needs down the list, making the childs needs more important, then they're not ready to have kids.
Personally, I had a very different childhood than most of my friends. I moved back and forth between my biological mother and my grandparents. There were times, when I lived with my biological mother, that I felt neglected and unwanted. I never thought of running away seriously, but it helped to know that I had my grandparents to turn to if I needed them.
My grandparents eventually adopted my twin and me, so things turned out okay, but children feel it when their parents don't give them time or care.
I think parents should want to give their children time and love. It helps build strong, independent, happy people. I think it would be a wonderful thing if children knew they had somewhere to go, someplace safe with people who would love and care for them.
That's what I eventually did, and I wouldn't change what happened for anything in the world.
A side-note: My biological mother and I get along fine; we're close friends, in fact. I just don't want anyone to read this and think I still hold a grudge, because I don't. Those are things that happened in the past, and I've moved on; I just thought it would be relevant to the post.
My grandparents eventually adopted my twin and me, so things turned out okay, but children feel it when their parents don't give them time or care.
I think parents should want to give their children time and love. It helps build strong, independent, happy people. I think it would be a wonderful thing if children knew they had somewhere to go, someplace safe with people who would love and care for them.
That's what I eventually did, and I wouldn't change what happened for anything in the world.
A side-note: My biological mother and I get along fine; we're close friends, in fact. I just don't want anyone to read this and think I still hold a grudge, because I don't. Those are things that happened in the past, and I've moved on; I just thought it would be relevant to the post.
nOT NECASSERILY. i MEAN YEH FOR LITTLE KIDS. bUT SUPPOSE i'M TLKIN ABT MYSELF. i'M 16... i DNT THINK MY MUM N DAD ARE BOUND TO GIVE ME THEIR TIME. aLL OR NONE, IT'S UP2 THEM. aND IF U WANT THEIR LOVE, RUNNING AWAY ISN'T THE ANSWER.
Right! They should do whatever it is to make them happy and if they cannot, well there not ready to become a parent. There making the child miserable and it can lead to suicide with a horrible family life or a depression. That can lead it if you have bad parents.
erm, just because u dnt get tym from ur parents, it won't lead to suicide! God
My mother was very young when she had me. When I was six months old, she got pregnant with our younger sister. At 22 years old, she was going to have three children. She gave our sister up for adoption to a couple who was friends of our family. They couldn't have children, so they adopted our sister.
I think that was the best thing to do, though I'm still not quite sure how my sister feels about it. I think she's accepted it, knowing what the alternative would have been. But my point is, my mother knew she wouldn't be able to care for my sister the way she needed to, so she made sure she found a couple who could.
I've always really respected her for making that decision, because I know it was a hard choice for her to make.
I think that was the best thing to do, though I'm still not quite sure how my sister feels about it. I think she's accepted it, knowing what the alternative would have been. But my point is, my mother knew she wouldn't be able to care for my sister the way she needed to, so she made sure she found a couple who could.
I've always really respected her for making that decision, because I know it was a hard choice for her to make.
Well I guess dat was the responsible thing to do.
Rj Amina wrote: "erm, just because u dnt get tym from ur parents, it won't lead to suicide! God"Noone ever said it does. But it CAN. And you don't have to use capital letters. We'll read your post anyway. Are you saying that parents shouldn't spent time with their child, shouldn't give them love? Being a parent is not about you, it's about the kid.
Hello?? Have you ever read suicide letters??? It all says "I cant handle my life right now.....Our family..." And all, some teenage suicide envolves family matters.
Sorry abt the caps; it was a mistake.I don't say parents should neglect their cildren. thas being unresponsible and mean to them. It can have a very bad effect (tho i dnt blv they'd commit suicide) and those parents will be answerabe in front of God. My point is that if they do neglect u, then u shldn't run away. bcoz keeping the neglect at the side; ur mum did give birth to u, they did fend to ur needs, they did help u wiv growing up after all, rite?
Maybe. But some Mum starve and abuse there kids. And anyways, God only comes when death happens. You can live for a long time and cause misery and all.
ofcourse wen it comes to abuse and starving and all then I'd say go for it. But totally get urself in trouble. maybe a relative or sum1 who cares
Maybe. But if I was in that kind of situation, I would get prepared first before taking off.Anyways your turn to roleplay.
Well, Amina, if a parent neglects their child, they aren't really helping them grow up, right? I mean, my mother really didn't help me become the person I am today.
I take that back.
She did, but in a backward way. I'm the person I am today because of what I had to deal with when I was younger. It changed me; and I think I might be an entirely different person if I'd had a more traditional upbringing.
I take that back.
She did, but in a backward way. I'm the person I am today because of what I had to deal with when I was younger. It changed me; and I think I might be an entirely different person if I'd had a more traditional upbringing.
Well it is because of her u are living tday. She cld've killed u while u were in her stomach. and no matter how hard life is, it's a gift and we shld be grateful for it.
I agree. And I am grateful she didn't have an abortion. She planned to have me, but then changed her mind after I was born. But, I think it must have been hard with twins. She didn't expect to have two, and I think it overwhelmed her.
I'm not making excuses for the neglect, but I'm glad she let us live with our grandparents. She knew that was what was best for us.
I'm not making excuses for the neglect, but I'm glad she let us live with our grandparents. She knew that was what was best for us.
Yes, even if she neglected u, she DID do what was right, rite? so then in such a situation, unning away wld just cause trouble for urself and others
Oh, I never thought about running away. I was just giving some examples of a troublesome situation where one might want to run away. I always knew I had my grandparents if I needed them. Some people aren't so lucky.
True. but patience has it's reward, rite? and if the situation gets too dire, I said I think the person shld reside with relatives or frends for sum tym
@ AminaYes, that's what people have been saying all along. If you read trough the page, you'll see that just about everyone has said that they should go off to live with friends or relatives.
- Personally, I've never seriously thought about running away. I love mu family, and I've been very lucky. But I have friends whom I sometimes wish would run away. I've told my friends that they can always come live with me, if it gets too bad. Maybe if you're not in the situation, and don't know anyone in such a situation, you don't see that it's sometimes the only way to live a normal life. It should never be the kids concern to make the parents notice them.
I didn't say they weren't sayng dat. they were saying they shld live wid frends/relatives, I said, IF the situation is very desperate. not if it's a petty issue
And I agree with that. But I don't think being neglected by your parents is a petty issue. Neither is it if they don't spend time with you.
not a petty issue, but not sumthing that shld make u run away
That seriously depends on how much it is. If it's one day or week where your parents are neglecting you, then no, you shouldn't run away. But if they haven't been giving you enough attention for you whole life, then yes, that's a very good reason to go live with someone else.
no. it still isn't. u shld just say that 'm not getting enuff love from u, please can I just live wid my grandparents because I'd be happier' it's not like they'd shoot u.
I think you should try addressing the problem (other than physical abuse) with your parents rather than running away. You may be surprised at the result. Won't always work, but it's better than just taking off. Not that being ignored is petty, but it should not be a reason to run away.
Of course you should confront the parents. But what if it dosen't get better? Will you just stay with them and live a miserable life?
Not being loved isn't sumthing as big as u put it.
Just because your parents don't give you the attention you are looking for doesn't mean you are going to have a miserable life. There are other ways to make your life better. My parents were not very attentive and my life did not turn out miserable. I found happiness elsewhere (friends, relationships). I just don't think that this is a reason to run away. Not all parents are as attentive as others. Not that it's an excuse, it just is. I think you need to find a way to deal with it other than running.
Yeh, and u get used to it by the tym ur of age. and anyway, once ur in ur teens (which is the tym u cld think abt running) u have other happinesses like frends and cousins. also, ur busy wid studies and boy-girl relations to be bothered that much. the tym that depriving is gna affect u most is wen ur tiny, and at dat tym, u cnt evn run away :P
