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What Are You Listening To?
message 4751:
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Joyzi
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Dec 07, 2010 08:59PM
Firework- Katty Perry
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Ode to Us by Jules Morrow
Exactly. And he doesn't seem to understand that. And I told him he's changed and he acknowledged that like it was nothing. And I think he assumes that because we talked ONCE that things are automatically fixed. Words don't fix things - actions do. Put some verbs into those sentences and apply them to your life, boy. That's how you'll fix things. Not by saying sorry. Sorry does NOTHING for me. I accept sorry wayyy too much and I forgive way too easily, and I just can't do it with him when I trusted and love him so much. I know. And it's like he doesn't even realize what that trust meant. I told him how much I trusted him after he broke it and he just said sorry for breaking my trust. Stupid. Yeah, it was bad that he left when I needed him most. That was the last thing I needed, and it was the last thing I expected. He was the last person I expected to abandon and turn on me like he did. I mean, it would've been one thing if he'd just disappeared, but the fact that he turned on me the way he did was one of the worst parts, I think... Sorry, I'm talking a LOT :/ I guess I needed to vent or something...Breathe by Paramore
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Undone by FFH
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*grins*
Yeah, that would definitely make sense. Guys can really screw a girl up, even if they don't directly do anything to them. I have a looooot of trust issues with guys for a lot of different reasons. And Brian just made them even worse than before. I mean, it's bad when a guy you don't reallyyyy trust breaks your trust or hurts you, but it's way worse when a guy that you REALLY trust, with anything and everything, with your entire life, soul, and heart goes off and breaks your trust and hurts you. I mean, one of my best guy friends, Zach, doesn't know this but it took me 3 years to really begin trusting him and he's like my big brother. That's how bad my trust issues are. And it took my a matter of weeks to begin trusting Brian, which, as you can probably tell, has never happened to me before. He just made it so easy to trust him, and to want to trust him. He and I went through nearly the same kind of heartbreak last year/earlier this year and he understood me and we were so similar in everything. He just knew me so well. And then he ditched me for the girl who broke his heart earlier this year. He's walking right back into the hole I helped dig him out of. He's going straight back into that trap and I don't know if I'll be there to help him out this time. Exactly. He can say sorry all the time (and he at least used to) but then he'd go off and act like he really didn't even care, anyway. I mean, come on. If you want to prove to someone that you really do care and that you really are sorry then you act on it and act like it instead of just repeating the word over and over again, like you're trying to brainwash me. That doesn't work. I'm glad :) I feel bad when I talk a lot. But I'm longwinded as it is and with this subject I vent a LOT because there's just so much inside of me, you know? I think it does help, at least somewhat, and at least for the moment. This situation becomes so frustrating and I feel like a bother when I talk to my offline friends about it so it's nice to be able to talk about it on here.Darkside of the Sun by Tokio Hotel ♥
![Melody [not just some girl you can sway] (melo-chan) | 1281 comments](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1285560989p1/1612224.jpg)
Lydia - Stay Awake
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Yeah. That sounds awful. It would definitely break me. Augh. It's just so... augh.
Yeah, having friends on here to talk to about stuff is the best. Everyone here is so caring and amazing when it comes to problems.
Read My Mind by The Killers
That is exactly what happened to me. I mean, last year hurt and everything but it was NOTHING compared to this. I trusted and loved Brian SOOOO much more than I ever did Levi. And Brian acts like it was nothing, or as if he never felt the same way, or as if he doesn't even know I feel this way. HA. I actually told him when we talked about things a few weeks ago, "I still feel about you the way I did during the summer" and he said "Thank you... Knowing that someone like you can still see me in that light after everything that's happened really means a lot." ......... Okay, 1) that means he doesn't feel the same way about me 2) Just because I feel the same way about him it doesn't mean that I see him as the same person. He's NOT. Plain and simple. I FEEL the same way about him, but my opinion of him has gone down immensely. 3) That hurt :/It really is :/ Ugh.
I know, you guys really are! It's so nice. I love it. It's like having a family online. :)
Crush by David Archuleta ♥
J Star - PrisonerThis song is so creepy but caaattchyyyyyy~
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That's so stupid. If you have told him stuff like that, and he just shrugs it off like that... he's really stupid for not figuring it out or getting the full meaning of what it really means. Why do people change? D:
*hugs*
I love my online family. You guys are the best most of the time.
Spaceman by The Killers
I hate dating. It HATE it. With a freaking passion. I mean, I hate it when real emotions are involved. I can go on dates with a few different guys just to check things out with them and not care, but when I get emotionally involved and invested in someone it's stupid. I shouldn't ever do that. I should've learned last time. The only reason I opened myself up to him was because he made me believe he'd be there to catch me when I fell for him. I mean, it's not as if he wasn't saying "I love you" to me. What was I supposed to think - that he wasn't going to catch me and that he didn't love me back? It's so stupid that I fell for him, and as quickly as I did, but he kind of led me on I guess. I just should've seen it coming. You're smart for doing that. I wish I'd decided to do that sooner.I know. I don't understand it. I was giving him an opportunity to say "I feel the same way about you too" but he didn't. Which obviously means he's moved on. Which seriously hurts like hell. I can't describe it. I dont' know :( But it sucks.
*hugs back*
I know :) You guys are the greatest. Hahaha, most of the time :) I loved that.
All We Ever Do Is Say Goodbye by John Mayer
Apologize by One Republic"... I need you like a heart needs a beat, but it's nothing new. I loved you with a fire red; now it's turning blue, and you say "Sorry" like the angel Heaven let me think was you, but I'm afraid it's too late to apologize."
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That does suck. So much. When you give so much of your heart to someone, it's so hard to pick yourself back up when they're gone. Maybe even harder when they're sort of there, but not really there. Like when they're stuck halfway inside of you, and they won't get completely out.
:) Yes, well everyone has their bad moments. XD
The Middle by We The Kings
Hey, Jayda, would you mind reading my story Bring Me Back to Song or poems sometime? When you have time, of course.
Oh yeah, that's how I am too. I just wish I had enough self-control to be like you and refrain from letting it all get to my head so that I didn't have to go through crap like this.Exactly. And he's halfway inside of me but he just won't get out. I want him to get out. And I want to not care about him, at all. Honestly, as much as he made this summer the best of my life, if I could go back and change it, he wouldn't be in my life. At least not as much as he was. I'd erase everything that happened between us this summer. That's how much it hurts. I wish it was worth it, but the pain outweighs the amazing things that happened.
Haha, so true :)
Sure! I think I'm going to head to bed shortly, but I think I should have some time tomorrow so I'll try to check it out this week :)
All I Wanted by Paramore ♥
"I could follow you to the beginning, just to relive the start. Maybe then we'd remember to slow down at all of our favorite parts. All I wanted was you." -sigh-
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I get what you mean. I was so emotionally down about Hayden last week and I was sobbing and I was just wishing that I had never even met him, even though this summer was the best summer of my life. It's like... you'd do without all the amazing memories because the pain is just so much worse and besides, the memories are what is causing the pain. Because all they are is memories.
Yay! Thanks, very much.
We'll Be a Dream by We The Kings
"Do you remember the nights we stayed up just laughing, laughing for hours about everything?"
Oh man. Wow. Good luck! I didn't even really start falling for guys until I was fifteen or so. I had long-term crushes, but none of them were openly mutual until I was fifteen. And then I had my first "love" last year, but this year was the first time I fell in love and I was only sixteen :/ I hope that you can get through high school without this crap. It's so dumb and you don't need it.Exactly!!! Oh man, I didn't even think about the memories being the thing that's causing the pain. Duhhh. That's like a no-brainer :P That is exactly right. I'm sorry you were so down last week :( So was I. I had this huge breakdown the other day because he was hanging out with Kate. It was so stupid, because I was starting to feel like I was finally starting to not care that he wasn't talking to me and stuff but then that happens and I break down so horribly and it just gets shoved back in my face again that it's going to be a looong time before that ever happens. I completely agree. The pain isn't worth it, even though this was the best summer of my whole life :/
You're welcome :)
The Story of Us by Taylor Swift ♥
"Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room and we're not speaking, and I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me? And I don't know what to say since the twist of fate when it all broke down, and the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now."
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Yeah, and that's what it is. And it's horrible. Because happy memories shouldn't cause pain. I hate breakdowns. They're so horrible and they just come and they aren't welcome!
I need to go to bed and get some sleep. I am so so so tired. It was great to talk to you. Goodnight!
Oh man, yeah, I get that. I had my first crush when I was three :) Hahahaha. But I didn't start getting "serious" about liking guys until I was fifteen. That's a great goal :)Exactly, they shouldn't. I know, I hate them so much!
Alrighty, goodnight! I should get to bed too. It was nice talking to you too :)
Better Than Revenge by Taylor Swift ♥
"The story starts when it was hot and it was summer and I had it all, I had him right there where I wanted him. She came along, got him alone and let's hear the applause: she took him faster than you can say sabotage. I never saw it coming; wouldn't have suspected it. I underestimated just who I was dealing with. She had to know the pain was beating on me like a drum. She underestimated just who she was stealing from."
Better Than Revenge, Haunted, Forever & Always, and The Story of Us by Taylor Swift are all excellent songs that describe my life EXACTLY.
I LOVE: Angus and Julia Stone Big Jet Plane
They are an Australian duo that are all the rage right now. Has anyone overseas heard of them?
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Booklover23 wrote: "I LOVE: Angus and Julia Stone Big Jet Plane
They are an Australian duo that are all the rage right now. Has anyone overseas heard of them?"
Australian? DUDE. I'm looking them up!
Speaking of duos, has anyone ever heard of Rodrigo y Gabriella? They are a Spanish duo and they are amazing.
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Angus and Julia Stone Big Jet Plane
They are an Australian duo that are all the rage right now. Has anyone overseas heard of them?"
Oh right, I looked them up when you mentioned them last time! They are rad! I do not understand why we don't get this awesome Australian music over here.
808 State - Qmart
Suddenly, surprise Bjork attack!
Ignorance by Paramore."Ignorance is your new best friend. Ignorance is your new best friend."
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Joy Ride-The KillersWell, we all know why Cassie likes them.
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Because she loves you?
The Killers-My ListYup. Or so she says.
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She just shows it... in a very odd way.
Mitch wrote: "Joy Ride-The KillersWell, we all know why Cassie likes them."
HEY! Same reason why Emmie DOESN'T listen.
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i am who i am who i was when (Lavendarlol) wrote: "DJ Got Us Falling In Love Again by Usher"Not again.
I'm not. I'm just worried for your emotional health when you listen to taht song.
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I'm not listening to it anymore. :)
I'm not listening to it, but I have Playing God by Paramore stuck in my head.
i am who i am who i was when (Lavendarlol) wrote: "*hugs Mandy* I'm not listening to it anymore. :)"
*grins* =)
Jayda wrote: "I'm not listening to it, but I have Playing God by Paramore stuck in my head."Hmm.
Mandy wrote: "Jayda wrote: "I'm not listening to it, but I have Playing God by Paramore stuck in my head."Hmm."
Hmm what? :)
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