Diary of a Mad Momma in a Minivan…08/14/10 By Jodi Stone
Do you ever ask yourself why you have to go through years and years of schooling learning crap like the sum of an octagon plus a hexagon’s perimeter divided by pie and learning about the inside of a rock and many years of learning in a classroom only to forget it later; yet when it comes to parenthood all you need is, well you probably know all you need: two willing adults and some liquid sunshine? For you math geeks that’s one plus one equals possible baby. No school or book can prepare you for the lifetime of adventure known as being a parent. I question on a regular basis what the heck I was thinking figuring those wonderful books like ‘what to expect when you’re expecting’ would prepare me for motherhood. They look so pretty don’t they, those books that tell you the joys to expect. I want to know where the books are that say, “the two’s won’t be terrible…they will be gut wrenching, make-you-want-to-throw-a-temper-tantrum-too, sleepless nights of watching your “baby” that used to cry so sweetly turn into a crazy child. Take a look at my title people. They don’t call me ‘mad momma in a minivan’ because I’m mad. I’m mmaaaaadddd because I have kids. Don’t get me wrong (another sign of a parent when they use this phrase a lot), I adore my girls. I couldn’t live without my girls. In fact, life would be quiet and utterly boring without them. But I’m a writer and to get through the rough patches I laugh. I laugh because if I don’t I’ll cry. I laugh because ninety percent of the times they make me smile…those tiny toed, big eyed, sweet talkers. I thank God for giving me these living angels to make me the mad momma that I am.
By Jodi Stone
Do you ever ask yourself why you have to go through years and years of schooling learning crap like the sum of an octagon plus a hexagon’s perimeter divided by pie and learning about the inside of a rock and many years of learning in a classroom only to forget it later; yet when it comes to parenthood all you need is, well you probably know all you need: two willing adults and some liquid sunshine? For you math geeks that’s one plus one equals possible baby.
No school or book can prepare you for the lifetime of adventure known as being a parent. I question on a regular basis what the heck I was thinking figuring those wonderful books like ‘what to expect when you’re expecting’ would prepare me for motherhood. They look so pretty don’t they, those books that tell you the joys to expect. I want to know where the books are that say, “the two’s won’t be terrible…they will be gut wrenching, make-you-want-to-throw-a-temper-tantrum-too, sleepless nights of watching your “baby” that used to cry so sweetly turn into a crazy child.
Take a look at my title people. They don’t call me ‘mad momma in a minivan’ because I’m mad. I’m mmaaaaadddd because I have kids. Don’t get me wrong (another sign of a parent when they use this phrase a lot), I adore my girls. I couldn’t live without my girls. In fact, life would be quiet and utterly boring without them. But I’m a writer and to get through the rough patches I laugh. I laugh because if I don’t I’ll cry. I laugh because ninety percent of the times they make me smile…those tiny toed, big eyed, sweet talkers. I thank God for giving me these living angels to make me the mad momma that I am.