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Need a Joke about Books
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I am thinking about doing a joke about how fictional men are better than real men. Suggestive but not explicit humor would be okay. I saw some comments about this on another post. For example, fictional men are available whenever you need them. Fictional men don't care how many other fictional boyfriends you have, etc.
Okay - I can't find any jokes today. Can anyone come up with funny reasons why books are better than men? I was thinking like "you can swap your used books for credit on new ones." "You can share books with your friends."
Maybe I'll try to get out of doing the joke!
A pair of chickens go to the library A pair of chickens walk up to the circulation desk at a public library and say, 'Buk Buk BUK.' The librarian decides that the chickens desire three books, and gives it to them...and the chickens leave shortly thereafter.
Around midday, the two chickens return to the circulation desk quite vexed and say,' Buk Buk BuKKOOK!' The librarian decides that the chickens desire another three books and gives it to them. The chickens leave as before.
The two chickens return to the library in the early afternoon, approach the librarian, looking very annoyed and say, 'Buk Buk Buk Buk Bukkooook!' The librarian is now a little suspicious of these chickens. She gives them what they request, and decides to follow them.
She followed them out of the library, out of the town, and to a park. At this point, she hid behind a tree, not wanting to be seen. She saw the two chickens throwing the books at a frog in a pond, to which the frog was saying, "Rrredit Rrredit Rrredit..."
Little Johnny at the Library Little Johnny asked and received help from a librarian on how to use the card catalog. In a little while, he approached the librarian again, wanting to know how to spell “tequila”.
“T-e-q-u-i-l-a,” spelled the librarian, and Little Johnny thanked her and went
back to his search.
A short time later he came to the desk, looking quite distraught. “I just can’t find it,” he said.
“What book are you looking for?” the librarian asked.
Replied Little Johnny, “Tequila Mockingbird.”
LIBRARIAN: Why don't you take home a Dr. Seuss? PUPIL: I didn't know he made house calls.
TEACHER: How many books did you finish over the summer?
PUPIL: None. My brother stole my box of crayons.
TEACHER: How many books have you read in your lifetime?
PUPIL: I don't know. I'm not dead yet.
TEACHER: What did you learn from your history book about Harriet Beecher Stowe?
PUPIL: If you draw a beard and a stovepipe hat on her, she looks exactly like Abraham Lincoln.
TEACHER: What does your history book tell you about the Civil War?
PUPIL: It doesn't tell me anything. I have to read the dumb thing.
My father gave me a really cheap dictionary for my birthday.
I couldn't find the words to thank him.
If you don't know what the word "dictionary" means,
where would you look it up?
I am in a Toastmasters club and on August 5 I have to present a joke about books. This is a professional ladies group at work, so it has to be clean. When I google joke about books, I can't find anything. Can anyone help? Thank you.