How do you handle/deal with stress?

[Heidi]

This past year has been particularly stressful at work for us - the state cut $40 million annually from the budget at the hospital where I work. Fortunately, they are trying to avoid lay-offs. What this means, though, is they are not hiring... so when people leave, they don't get replaced. And we haven't gotten the annual cost of living increase for the past couple of years. Of course, this also means no bonuses, no performance raises... and it doesn't seem like they'll be doing so anytime in the near future. So I did what I could - I picked up a part-time second job. In the meantime, it seems like the workload has more than tripled for each of us, and everyone around the office seems to be walking on eggshells these days.

This past week was particularly hard on me as I made two small mistakes which wouldn't normally have a person concerned... but under these circumstances, I've been about ready to jump out of my skin. I'd have left this job under normal circumstances a looong time ago, but there really aren't any openings in this area (medical research)... not unless I'm looking to relocate (and I might be). I had the weekend to reflect on everything, and I'm just generally feeling humbled and grateful for what I do have... great friends, a wonderful support system, the respect of those who work closest with me, etc.

When the pressure's on, I'll buckle down, keep my nose to the grindstone, keep my mouth shut, and get the work done. I also listen to relaxing instrumental music. And if I have the time, I'll write. My house will get a full cleaning. I keep myself busy in the kitchen. I tend to my yard. Overall, I think I've coped fairly well with the recent stress at the office, as well as can be done I suppose. I mean, I haven't had a heart attack yet, right?

So I'm curious now... I know I'm not the only person in this world feeling the burden of stress. How do you deal with the pressures at work? At home? With your family?

Or are you one of those lucky people who just never gets stressed out about anything?

[[deleted user]]

Heidi wrote: "Or are you one of those lucky people who just never gets stressed out about anything?"

Yes.

Heidi, I feel your pain re: uncertainty in the workplace. Working at GM these days isn't exactly a picnic. We went three years without raises and the company has been slowly hacking away at our benefits and pensions, but I'm eternally grateful to have a job.

You're right, though: the best thing you can do is just keep showing up for work every day. The rest will work itself out.

[[deleted user]]

Barb wrote: "When my stress level gets really high (for whatever reason), I have a good vent, and try to relax."

By barreling down the road like a bat out of hell.

[Heidi]

OH!!! Robby completely relaxes me. :) I can't believe I forgot to mention that. I think everyone should have a dog like him.

[Sarah]

At least you have a relaxing dog and not a tomato-obsessed monster.

Heidi, I can't say I know exactly what you're going through, but I definitely empathize. Those stresses can really wear on a person, even an optimistic person who can normally see the bright side of things.

I think it may even be harder on those of us who are used to seeing a bright side, because we're not used to the dark at all when it hits.

Depending on the type of stress and the type of distraction needed, the following can help:
1)A good friend to talk it out with - someone who is good at helping you see around problems
2)Cleaning. Harness that demon! Make it work for you.
3)Road trip -- not necessarily a long one -- with good music. Travel long enough to convince yourself that if you wanted to, you could drive due west all the way to the ocean and nobody could stop you.
4)Dog walk
5)A REALLY absorbing book

Playing music & writing aren't really stress relievers for me - they can help me process it, but they aren't really available til after I've left crisis/panic mode.

[Heidi]

Sarah Pi wrote: "At least you have a relaxing dog and not a tomato-obsessed monster.

Heidi, I can't say I know exactly what you're going through, but I definitely empathize. Those stresses can really wear on a per..."

HA! I laughed at your "tomato-obsessed monster"... I'm sure that's still a nice distraction, sort of. Unless tomato obsessed monster is eating your dinner and you have to worry about what you'll be eating for the next 6 days. That would really suck.

I appreciate the sympathy/empathy from all of you. To add a bit of perspective to the stress we have around here - my direct supervisor/coworker/clinic manager is out at least once a week with migraines. He has FMLA protection for that. But there's no back up in place for him, so when he's out, I'm covering for both of us.

Our clinic director, who supervises both my supervisor and myself, has been out quite a bit over the past several months with ulcers. She can't eat At. All. when she gets them.

Thankfully, I have my health. I've only called in sick once this year... when I had food poisoning and started having strange thoughts/hallucinations/imagining full conversations after vomiting for 27 hours. My supervisors are awesome in protecting me from as much of the stress as they can, and in return, I feel like I need to be a workhorse and do what I can to keep from contributing to their stress.

I think you're right, though, Sarah P, about the optimists. I'm not used to being stressed out about anything. I'm typically fairly laid back and I try to keep the mood light around work when I can, but lately I've been feeling... ummm, reverent.

All your suggestions are great. In fact, I don't think I listed any of them, but I've been doing them - the really absorbing book, the dog walks, the cleaning, the being out in nature (I can't believe I didn't list that, Bun!), the talking with friends... the only one I haven't been doing is the road trip. And I'm surprised it hasn't occurred to me to do that - that's always been high on my list of things to do to destress.

I think it helps to feel grounded and cleaning, doing laundry, cooking in the kitchen, being outdoors... all those things are v. grounding.

Coincidentally... the other day I thought my BP was probably through the roof, so I checked it. It was actually low-normal - NOT high like I expected it to be. So I must be doing something right... right?

[[deleted user]]

I was going to make a silly comment about how I handle stress, but since everyone's expressed themselves so eloquently, I'm going to refrain from smart-assedry.

I suck at handling stress. I blow my stack more often than I should. I'm amazed I don't suffer from hypertension.

[Jackie "the Librarian"]

My body deals with stress by breaking out. I'm not sure how this is supposed to help. :\

I deal with stress by taking walks, playing music that lifts my mood, and hanging out with friends. Also, if it's stress over a task hanging over me, just getting started on it really helps.

[RandomAnthony]

I'm sorry to hear all this, Heidi. I'm the worst stress role model ever, however, but I'm trying to get better.

My body grew used to stress pretty young so I'm so used to be in that high-tension stress state that calming down doesn't feel natural to me. I've forgotten how to be relaxed naturally. I'm getting better, over time, rediscovering that state.

I told my therapist not long ago that I sometimes felt that this is who I am and I'd be this way forever. She said (I'm paraphrasing), "Yes, but there are whole areas of you you've yet to explore. Be open to that." She's right, really, and that gives me hope.

[RandomAnthony]

Oh, I've also started the breathing thing...definitely helps, as does washing my hands and taking brief walks, even if they're only through the halls at work.

[Heidi]

Bun, I do that breathing exercise on my way in to work every morning. :) I learned it several years ago from a yoga instructor who was teaching a class as part of the Complementary and Alternative Medicine course for the med students. I wasn't actually in the class, but I did help organize it, so I got to sit in on all the classes. I've tried teaching it to several of my friends, but they all tell me they're too ADD to do it. So... then I quit wasting my time trying to teach it to them because they clearly enjoy being in their wigged out state.

You've shared that phrase with me once before, RA. I love it... and I knew it was profound at the time you shared it, but I didn't have a relevant context to make sense of it. So when my sister called me to tell me that my mother had a gentleman caller on Friday night... and called again on Saturday morning freaking out because HE WAS STILL THERE!!! OMG! I laughed and told her I'd call later to check in with Mom. And I did. She was totally giddy - a wonderful departure from her usual doom and gloom mood that she's had lately. I hope she stays like that for a while. Anyway, the phrase sort of clicked for me when I was thinking of her within that context because I remember when she used to be giddy and happy and optimistic all the time, but that's not been the case for several years. So it's nice to think of her in the giddy, happy, optimistic context again.

THAT could be you, RA!!!

Oh, and Gus... feel free to share your jackassery. I think laughter's good for stress relief, too. :)

[RandomAnthony]

I could have a gentleman caller who stays all night?

[Heidi]

Well...

[Heidi]

Kidding. No silly person - you could be "giddy and happy and optimistic all the time."

[Sally, la reina]

Bathtub.

[Heidi]

:) I like that the tub's making an appearance in several threads tonight.

[Jackie "the Librarian"]

Heidi, I'm sorry you're having such a stressful time at work. Even if you aren't worried about keeping a job, it's not fun to be someplace where the budget is getting cut. I know all about that.
*hugs*

I often enjoy giddiness. You should try it, RA, it's fun! :)

Once you've mastered that, then we'll talk about ebullience.

[Heidi]

Jackie "the Librarian" wrote: "Once you've mastered that, then we'll talk about ebullience."

OH!! Good word.

[Heidi]

OH. My. HECK!

Bun... ♥

:)

♥

[Sally, la reina]

BATHTUB!

[Heidi]

(waaay better than RA's toes)

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

Heidi wrote: "Coincidentally... the other day I thought my BP was probably through the roof, so I checked it."

At first I thought this referred to British Petroleum's stock price.

[Heidi]

I don't have BP stock (THANK goodness). :)

[Daniel]

Heidi wrote: "This past year has been particularly stressful at work for us - the state cut $40 million annually from the budget at the hospital where I work. Fortunately, they are trying to avoid lay-offs. Wh..."

Heidi, I'm really glad you wrote this post. For me, usually my stress is at it's highest when there is a great dissonance between what I wish I was doing with my life and what I'm actually doing with my life.

Typically I've been able to avoid feeling stressed in crisis situations as long as I'm absolutely clear about all the big questions: why I'm doing this particular action, why it matters, and how I can work to overcome failure if things don't work out.

Believe it or not, I feel those big why questions are most necessary when things are not going your way: What do I value most? What make myself and my loved ones truly happy? What has value? How can I act on behalf of my values?

It's important I think always to keep the big picture in mind.

[Jackie "the Librarian"]

Misha, I'm right there with ya.

[Jackie "the Librarian"]

"Select all the things!"

I'm in the nachos and internet stage at the moment.