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message 2:
by
Kat, Goddess of Dramatic Exits and Strawberry Yogurt
(last edited Jan 16, 2011 09:16AM)
(new)
Mod
Age: 13
Looks: [image error]
Personality: Smarty Pants. She comes from the beaches of CA she loves sun taning. She usually has scabby elbows becuase she's a born skater girl. Jacob and her are like brother and sister. At times she can be naive, and snotty.She loves animals and she's a vegitarian. She will never give up and always is persistent, she stands up for what she believes in and is quite a slob. She can be a flirt, but also believe most boys are jerks. She like Avril Laveigne and Yellowcard. She always has her headphones on. She's an only child and her mother wasn't very supportive.
Other: Hates to be treated like a little kid
Name: Nahla Faith CristaunLooks:
[image error]
Personality:
She is very independent. If you are a perky person, avoid her. She puts down those who trry to perk her up. She will try to hurt you if you talk too her the wrong way. If you get on her nerves, prepare to be shredded.
Age: 15
Other: Has no fear. She ejoys sports such as Basket Ball and Swimming. She loves being outdoors.
Has a Raven named Coal:
[image error]
Coal was made from cinders and presented to Nahla when she was a mear two years old. He was presented as a guardian, but has failed to do his job. He is good as a pal. He was given the gift to turn into a pheonix, but soon lost his gift due to lack of guarding and protection towards Nahla. He is now just a pet, but is not seen as one.
Name: Emily SamacheGender: F
Age: 17
Looks: Emily is quite tall with blonde hair, bordering on white. Her fair skin makes her easy to burn, but she doesn't care. Her pale green eyes end off her looks making her seem like a dryad.
Personality: Emily is one of those people who will laugh at anything, even if it's at herself. She is loving and sweet, always making people feel welcome. Emily loves hunting and creating limericks on the spot (often they are really bad). Emily would much rather be inside then fighting, but she goes along with anything brought up.
Other: Emily's cheerful attitude, however, is a coverup for her hard life. Growing up, her mother was overwhelmed with having a half-blood and fairly abandoned her. The only way she was able to make it to camp was through following her instict and help from friendly helpers. She always avoids conversations about home.
She is cabin counsler
Name: Andrew. Gender: Male
Age: 14
God Parent: Apollo
Appearence: Blond hair, cocky smile, blue eyes, freckles.
Personality: Adventurous, reckless, naughty, crazy, strong, brave. Smarter than his brothers.
Fatal Flaw: Overconfidece
Powers (if any): Talent with bows. Sing very well and play the electric guitar.
Weapons (if any): Electric guitar that stuns monsters.
Other: Mother died when he were 9 so he was on the road 24/7 but did not like Camp Half Blood until a nyph caught him. Triplet brothers Arthur and Anthony.
Mod
Looks: Black long hair that goes all the way past her waist. icy blue greyish eyes that look like husky eyes. pale white skin. tall 5' 6''. skinny. athletic.
Personality: sarca..."
Character Deleted
message 7:
by
Iviana (The Sign Painter), The Goddess of indecisiveness
(last edited Jan 09, 2011 02:07PM)
(new)
Mod
Gender: Male
Looks: Caleb has short, light brown hair, and bright hazel eyes. He is tall for his age. He has a reassuring smile, one that makes him seem trustworthy. Caleb's fingers are constantly blistered. He no longer attempts to heal them.
Personality: Caleb is easy going, though he can be serious when need be. His knowledge of music expands to most all instruments, though he prefers his guitar. He has a trustworthy air about him.
Age: 16
Other: Sorry, guys, for the lack of detail. I'm gonna finish him soon.
Name: Philomela LLooks: She is a red head with honey brown eyes. She is 5'6. She has freckles that are sprinkled over her nose and cheeks. She has pale skin due to not being very athletic.
Age: 16
Personality: She isn't shy, but she is a bit of a loner. She is quiet and likes to think a lot and edit her thoughts before she speaks. She is very sarcastic and can deadpan easily which confuses people as to whether she was being sarcastic or not.
Other:She is a healer...of emotions. She can soothe depressed people and can lighten up moods. She is also is a decent the musician. She plays the piano, and cello.She has been at Camp Half Blood for 3 years, but is kind of a loner. She is skilled with a bow and arrows. She spends all her time trying to practice her music or archery. Because she is the daughter of Apollo, she can control the fact that she never gets a sunburn or a tan.She alos writes a litle bit of poetry, usually the occasional couplet. She sometimes stays year round.
Weapon: She doesn't have a special one yet, but she prefers to use a bow and arrows.
Name: Linda Rose(Called Lindy)
Looks:
http://www.scene-hair.net/wp-content/...
Shaggy, light blonde hair with dark violet highlights that comes to her shoulders, light blue eyes framed by long eyelashes and black glasses.She usually wears a pair of huge light green headphones, a pullover grey hoodie labled with 'TUXEDO' in big black letters over a pain white tee shirt and dark blue jeans with drawings scattered all over them, rips on the thighs and knees and light orange,green and pink converse hightops.
Personality: Lindy's very timid,she tends to care deeply for friends, but that doesn't mean she can't be a b*tch.She hates it when people mess with her feelings.Lindy is mostly caring and calm(when I first typed this I wrote CLAM LOL).She hates being picked on,and is very quiet.She likes to sing when no ones around, and hates being listened to.She can be very,very girly.
Age: 14
Other: ...Merp.She's a talented artist and prefers to fight with knives,bows and arrows, and a scythe.
Looks:
http://www.scene-hair.net/wp-content/...
Shaggy, light blonde hair with dark violet highlights that comes to her shoulders, light blue eyes framed by long eyelashes and black glasses.She usually wears a pair of huge light green headphones, a pullover grey hoodie labled with 'TUXEDO' in big black letters over a pain white tee shirt and dark blue jeans with drawings scattered all over them, rips on the thighs and knees and light orange,green and pink converse hightops.
Personality: Lindy's very timid,she tends to care deeply for friends, but that doesn't mean she can't be a b*tch.She hates it when people mess with her feelings.Lindy is mostly caring and calm(when I first typed this I wrote CLAM LOL).She hates being picked on,and is very quiet.She likes to sing when no ones around, and hates being listened to.She can be very,very girly.
Age: 14
Other: ...Merp.She's a talented artist and prefers to fight with knives,bows and arrows, and a scythe.
Name: Arthur. Gender: Male
Age: 14
God Parent: Apollo
Appearence: Blond hair, cocky smile, brown eyes, freckles.
Personality: Adventurous, reckless, naughty, crazy, strong, brave. More impatient and reckless than his brothers.
Fatal Flaw: Overconfidece
Powers (if any): Talent with bows. Sing very well and plays the electric guitar.
Weapons (if any): Electric guitar that stuns monsters.
Other: Triplet brothers Andrew and Anthony.
Name: Anthony. Gender: Male
Age: 14
God Parent: Apollo
Appearence: Blond hair, cocky smile, brown eyes, freckles.
Personality: Adventurous, reckless, naughty, crazy, strong, brave. More empathic than his brothers.
Fatal Flaw: Overconfidece
Powers (if any): Talent with bows. Sing very well and plays the electric guitar.
Weapons (if any): Electric guitar that stuns monsters.
Other: Triplet brothers Andrew and Arthur.
Mod
Reason: No longer a member.
Name: McKinley Sabina LazareAge: 8
Gender: Female
God Parent: Apollo
Appearance: McKinley has long, feathery copper-colored hair that hangs daintily down to just above her thighs. Her eyes are a stunning blue that stand out from behind her long, wispy bangs. She has a small, lithe form from hours and hours on the trapeze and is relatively short for her age. She almost always has a smile on her face, despite the rugged scars running down her cheeks. Her joints stick out at odd angles from the hundreds of times they have been broken, though she doesn’t seem to notice. She walks with an obvious grace and total control over her body, and her right hand is nearly always trailing behind her or hanging beside her. ((explained somewhere below.))
Personality: McKinley is everything one would think a girl growing up in a theatre would be. She is overly-dramatic, though in a comedic way, and she knows very well how to act. She is almost never serious and is constantly attempting to perfect the American accent, without much success. When and if you manage to get her to act normal, she isn’t. Her tutor was French and, from spending so much time with her, McKinley obtained the French accent. She tends to be very calm and quiet when she is alone, though she is always mumbling to ‘herself’. Some would say she is insane, some would say she is simply lonely. But only those that know her almost as well as they know themselves know why she always seems to be talking with someone who isn’t there.
Other: McKinley doesn’t excel in the types of arts most of her siblings do. The only instrument she plays is piano, but she plays that extremely well. She can sing, though she prefers not to as it brings back memories. McKinley has always worked at being a contortionist of some sort. Whenever her mother would need her for a stage production she would be sure to put McKinley in the trapezes and other things like that that the young girl shined at. McKinley can bend her body in ways no one else has managed before, but not without repercussions. Her bones are frail and extremely fragile from being broken so many times. She has permanent bruises along her arms and legs, but she doesn’t let them keep her from practicing daily. The only time McKinley will sing is when she is ‘alone’. And only then because she sings for Ayden.
Ayden is McKinley’s imaginary friend. He could be mistaken for her twin if he was real to anyone but McKinley herself. If anyone asks McKinley, she will tell them that Ayden came to her when she was five, after she ‘fell’ off the trapeze (when really her stepfather greased the handles so she couldn’t hang on.). He is her other half, what makes her whole. He helps her make her decisions and she can’t do much without him. To her, Ayden is real. And she doesn’t yet realize that he isn’t. She doesn’t know that no one else can see him; she thinks he is as real as the next person.
History: McKinley’s mother owns a theatre in London, where McKinley has grown up all of her life. From the age of three McKinley has been put on stage to fly around as birds or faeries in the plays her mother put on. She is well loved among the cast members that her mother puts in every play.
Four years ago, when McKinley was four, her mother fell in love with one of the actors. The actor, Pierce, was the only one of the cast members who hated McKinley’s guts. As he became closer to her mother he became more and more liable to hurt her. Her tutor, Carissa, was the only one who knew what he did to her, though she couldn’t say anything about it. Carissa helped McKinley run away and told her where to go- Camp Half-Blood. McKinley has not seen her mother or stepfather since.
message 14:
by
Iviana (The Sign Painter), The Goddess of indecisiveness
(last edited Feb 20, 2011 08:23AM)
(new)
Mod
Topic closed.
Reason: Overpopulated.
Name: Daniella "Danny" Louis VendallAge: Fifteen
DOB* July 6th
Gender: Female
Orientation* Straight
Appearance: What a rebel Daniella looks like with her crooked smile and confident swag. That alone could be the reason why she's constatnly washing dishes for Chiron, but most likely it's because she's completely guilty for whatever punishment she recieved.
Dark brown hair so dark it's constantly mistaken for black tumbles about and around in an attractively natural bedhead. Danny is vain about her thick hair, and always has it down, at first nicely brushed. Only during trainnig or battle is her hair ever up.
Barely visible under thick lashes, and unless in a bright light, Daniella's eyes are large, a bright green similiar in color to key lime pie. Just around the pupils, Daniella holds rings of silvery green. HEr lashes brush her prominant cheekbones whenever she blinks or sleeps.
Before arriving at CHB, Daniella had the smooth complexion the color of hte inside of an almond. There was no color, minus the colorful graffiti of hte rose vine tattoo starting at her shoulder and winding down her arm in beautiful detail with the show of beautiful handiwork. The tattoo's meaning is simple; her favorite flower is a rose and Daniella has a love for classic rock. But now, Daniella's skin has bronzed over because of the constant sun she's gotten here over the years she's been, and it now resemblesmore the outside of an almond rather than the inside.
Please, just five more minutes.
Now show me sassy!
I hate this dress.
Excuse me?
Personality: Well, as Poison well put, 'Every Rose Has Its Thorn'. Over the years, Danny's learned to speak her mind as well as keep quiet, retained. Of course, like many girls her age, Daniella's somewhat witty, always having a smart ass remark for everything. Sometimes, she has to literally bit her hand to stop herself from saying something too offensive or that would get her into serious trouble. It's obvious that she does try hard sometimes, but she hasn't yet discovered when enough is enough with her mile-a-minute mouth. Because she swears it's good for everyone to blow some steam after a stressful day, Daniella is always one to start light, playful bickers with her siblings.
Despite her sometimes annoying way of not knowing when she's taken things too far, Daniella is not an idiot. She does a good job of judging whether or not people are trsutowrthy or even worth her time. Common sense has kicked in strongly for this young girl. It's just her choice of whether or not she'll listen.
History: Born and raised in the suburb area of Rochester, New York was great for Daniella and her twin brohter, Thomas. Their mother was a waitress with a fascination for the language arts, worked hard to support the family while working in a slowly but surely dying diner. The twins were usually left alone to look out for each other (Maria could barely pay the bills much less pay a nanny), living off Rochester's specialty; garbage plates.
When the restaurant finally did close for good, Maria could no longer support both her and her cildren. None of her poems or stories would sell, and now she wasn't getting paid. Maria Vendall loved her children more than anything in the world. Literally, they were a gift from the gods to her, so having to give them up all but killed her.
A phone call was made and the twins were introduced to a satyr. He brought the children safely to camp, assuring the mother- who'd agreed to a shelter- he would keep them from harm.
Contact with her mother picked up about three months ago. Daniella read the letter first, and couldn't help but be full of sorrow. Her mother is selling her writing, and rolling in dough. In every letter hse recieves, Maria promises Daniella she will soon be able to come live with her through the year, but Daniella doubts so. Money has changed her mother in an unappealing way.
Shortly after the arrival at camp, the twins changed around each other. They were both upset and stressed about their mother, and now their supposedly mystical father. Daniella had even gone through the stage of denial, demanding to be shown proof that her father was a god. The lion roar that came from her lips and sunny glow from her brother had shut her right up.
Her new siblings- there were an overwhelming amount of them- all welcomed her and her brother, but she felt isolated, and she could tell that her brother felt the same. For weeks, Daniella isolated herself, playing any instrument she could lay her hands on to entertain herself. The twins were blessed with the ability to play any instrument well. One day, Daddy took that gift away.
Daniella and Thomas had been fighting pretty fiercly when Daniella had taken her electric guitar- her prized posession- and had taken a swing at Thomas. Apollo was infuriated, and set a curse on his daughter. A curse that wouldn't allow her to play any instrument or she would be burned. Daniella's hands have many pink scars from where she insisted pm plaing an instrument, causing her to suffer form third degree burns.
Daniella was deperesed for a time. She had loved playing music, it had been her thing. So, naturally, when she found out she had the talent to sing, she was thrilled. Now, Thomas plays an instrument, and Daniella sings in a sort of sibling sings where the whole cabin is included if they wish.
Other: Daniella's weapon of choice is a Dory. A long, Greek spear that's not too heavy, and that makes it easy to throw. Plus, Daniella can take it wherever she wants because it ven be folded into a barret. Chiron helped her find it when she first arrived at camp.
Name: Thomas Jonathon VendallAge: Fifteen
DOB* July sixth
Gender: Male
Orientation* Straight
Appearamce: Thomas has the same qualities you think you would find in someone who lives at a summer camp. A well-toned, sun kissed body that prefers to stay hidden behind thermal long-sleeved shirts. His sparkling green eyes- a much darker shade than his sister's. His more resemble chips of jade gemstones than pie filling- light up in the sun when he flashes his winning smile, though they are generally lit up with amusement or happiness.
Constantly falling into his luminous green eyes, Thomas is always becoming irritated with his hair. HE can enever decide on its exact color. One day it usually looks black or dark chocolate brown. Then the next day it could vary from a light brown to an almost auburn color. One thing Thomas does like about his hair is the natural tousled look it gives off, so he decideds to put up with the strands on his eyes. Every morning all he has to do is run a hand thorugh his hair and walk out the door. His artfully messy hair stays all day.
The most muscular part of Thomas's body? His cheeks, of course. Rotund and rather high, they are evenly set along both sides of a rather broad, but straight nose. From smiling so brightly and so often, Thomas has developed firm cheeks. His jaw is also strong and firm, and has a tendancy to collect dark sprouts of stubble, as it's difficult to shave.
You were saying? Carry on.
You look funny upside down
Son of sun god? That might be a possibility
Personality: Thomas holds a friendly air about him. He looks like the kind of person you'd like to have a conversation with, which would explain why he has constant chats with other numerous campers. His smile is an infectious one, and his easy-going, rich laughter has brought smiles to many campers' faces.
Thomas is almost the exact opposite of his twin sister, Daniella. He's more the kind of person to go with the flow, not really one to think ahead and strategize. It's probably because he doesn't like to think that people can be bad or evil. But after being affiliated with gods and thier offspring, the facts stare back at you. Thomas tries to ignore them.
Love. It's one of the many things Tom is fill of. Love for his silings, particularly the younger ones. He sees it as his responsibility to look after his siblings as he's usually more mature and level-headed than some. HE has a love for his close friends at camp, even some people who don't exactly like him he can love. Hia ability to give out so much, it makes him vulnerable as some have in the past told him.
History: Tommy, of course, had been appauled to find out that they had to leave Rochester. He would miss his friends, who loved listening to him and his twin's music. He'd miss everything, except for the garbage plates, which he had lost taste for.
The hairy, short man that had come to get them was odd, and both hte twins had known that htere was more to him than he told them, but their mother trusted him, so they did as well.
At camp, Thomas had been dumbfounded, mute with surprise. But Danny had spoken enough for the both of them, right before they had been claimed using two very different signs that conformed together to make perfect sense. A lion roar had errupted from Daniella's throat, and he had glowed as bright as the sun. Daniella didn't say much for the rest of the night.
Having the sweeter personality of the two, Thomas fit in first, where as his sister was lost for longer, until Thomas had introduced her to everyone. It was then, two months after their arrival that the two twelve-year-old Vendalls had truly become a part of the family.
The same day his sibling had been cursed was the same day Tommy had been gifted. After their father had cursed his daughter, Danny ran to her guitar, then all the ohter instruments in the cabin, dropping them with a yelp as they burned her hands. As she did, Thomas noticed that every instrument he saw, he would know at least one song he oculd play on the instrument. His previous gift to be able to play an instrument had doubled. Now, he could play any instrument with amazing grace.
But Thomas had not bragged, didn't even tell Daniella about his new talent until she had discovered hers. Previous to the party that had been thrown, he would not have been able to tell her. Not when, on so many nights after the curse, they had shared a bed. Thomas had held his sister as she cried, looking at her scarred hands. Now since that day, Thomas avoids fighting- even light bickering- at all costs.
Other: Thomas's favorite instrument is the piano. He loves the classical music, and enjoys hearing the smooth, majestic piano keys be played to reveal a beautiful songpiece.
A heavier sort of weapon for Thomas is something that the son of Apollo enjoys. One that he can swing and put a lot of fore into. A chain mace is the perfect weapon for Tommy. It's unique and takes a bit longer to learn to properly use than other weapons. Being a fast learner, Thomas enjoys a mental challenge.
Azriel's in this group?! :D I didn't know that!
Oh. Well I didn't want to put her in if she wasn't in the group. :p It's sorta pointless.
Mod
Age Seventeen, born February 20th
Gender Male
Appearance Tall and lean, Peter has that smooth and lazy appearance that echoes the sound of a saxophone. His years training at camp have given him the arm strength to draw even the stiffest of bows. His thick brown hair comes away from his forehead in a ruffled puff, shadowing his brown eyes. Peter’s eyebrows are quite expressive; he’s got the skeptical down pat.
Full view.
Really?
Personality/History Peter was always good with instruments. As a child, he took piano lessons that his mother insisted on. Delia Masters was a surgeon, and she didn’t have much time for an unplanned child; it was something to keep Peter off the streets. He grew to dislike the piano, as he was forced into it, but became fond a different instrument – saxophone. As he grew older, he displayed an incredible talent for music. At age twelve, Peter was already playing the alto, tenor, and baritone saxophones with skill beyond his years.
That same year, Peter began harp lessons with an old, especially hairy man, Mr. Bracks. As his thirteenth birthday neared, Mr. Bracks called Peter and his mother in to discuss a special camp for kids like Peter. Delia assumed it was for music, and the old man didn’t deny it. Peter was taken to this special camp, only to learn on his way there that his father was supposedly a god. He didn’t believe it – not until the traveling pair got chased into camp by a two-headed snake-dog and saw Mr. Bracks turn goat on him.
Peter was claimed shortly after arriving to Camp Half-Blood, while sitting around the bonfire. A golden arrow erupted from the flames and struck him in the chest. He was unharmed, but Apollo’s glowing symbol was clear.
Peter doesn’t take things with much seriousness, riding on his sarcastic, dry humour and very ‘whatever’ attitude. His only real concern is his music, and well, himself. As long as Peter isn't affected directly, he usually won't care about it.
Relationships: --
Other: As Apollo's son, Peter is exceptional with archery. He's become one of the best archers in his cabin. Peter owns a black walnut bow a little more than half his height, carved with elegant designs, and deadly accurate.
Ooh. I love him already. :3
Name: Derrick JamesAge: Eighteen
Appearance:
A rather tall kind of guy, his height is 6,3, being pretty darn tall for someone of his age. With an athletic muscle build, tan skin and eyes that have a friendly glint to them. He usually sports jeans and a T-shirt for any occasion, but on the court, he often wears a custom "Camp Half-Blood" blue and gold jersey with matching shorts, with a number 23 and his surname, James, on the back.
History/Personality: A soft-spoken, yet tough person, just because he doesn't shout, yell, or scream when he's angry, doesn't mean that you should cross him. He's quiet, but his tongue is as sharp as blade-- despite his soft-spokeness-- and he's always ready to use it.
Most of the time, however, he is seen laid back, either watching the scenery from somewhere afar, or at the court shooting hoops. He rarely speaks on his own, and mostly speaks when talked to, or asked a question.
As a kid, Derrick LOVED the sport of basketball. Around the world with his step-father, showing the bullies his skill and speed on the full-court, or playing pick-up games with his friends. He loved every moment of it. The adrenaline, the rush, and the swish of the net when the ball went down for a nothing-but-net score. It brought a grin to his face when he saw the looks of those bullies gawking when Derrick launched off their gang leader. He literally stepped on the leader's back, and launched off for a dunk where he hung on the rim for a while before using the leader AGAIN for the landing pad. They didn't dare question his skills again, nor did they ever came near him again.
As he got older, he was picked to be the point guard of his high- school, and he was proud to be in it to. At age 16, he was the star of his high-school basketball team, and they went to the finals of the annual high-school playoffs. But then, he was assaulted by monsters. And they broke his leg and his elbow too, but not before turning to dust before his eyes. Standing there were two figures, but the pain was too much for him to handle and he blacked out before he could see their faces clearly. When he woke up, he was sitting in an infirmary, which was Camp-Half-Blood's infirmary. He was fine for a week until a newspaper came to him. His team had lost the finals. And the whole school was blaming Derrick for being a no-show. Devastated at his shame, his sadness turned what was once him into a quiet husk of his former self.
Relationships: Mia James- Mother Jason James- Step-Father
Other: As a demigod of Apollo, his accuracy with projectiles is never doubted in the heat of battle. But he doesn't like to stay behind and shoot arrows all day, no. In fact, he likes to wield daggers, and packs many of them at once. Because of his speed, athleticism, and accuracy, he is deadly with his awkward weapon choice for a demigod of Apollo.
Mod
Do not simply list personality traits. Use complete sentences and expand on points.
The history section is required. You could talk about his childhood, what life was like before CHB, what his mother was like, how the hell he got a tattoo since he's a minor, etc. etc.
Name: Carlisle NightAge: Sixteen
Appearance:http://www.google.com/imgres?q=alexan...
Personality: Carlisle has always been described as being creative and intelligent. Because of how his friends treated him, Carlisle has a hard time making new friends even within the borders of CHB. Since coming to CHB he has also become loyal and protective of the ones he cares for.
History: Carlisle’s childhood was just like everyone else’s until he was thirteen. From then until his fourteenth birthday, Carlisle was followed by ravens and large snakes. He also began to see things that no one else could see, causing his friends to think of him crazy. Carlisle was excelled from everyone in his school. His mother continually pushed off telling Carlisle about who his father was, this caused Carlisle to pretty much show up to the camp half dead followed by large snake.
Other:
*Apollo’s son
*Born a Sagittarius
* Has a phoenix tattooed on his right side-this is a memory of his uncle who passed away when he was little http://www.google.com/imgres?q=tribal...
* Has a Latin verse tattooed on his left arm Natus de aeternus Sol (One born of the eternal sun)- this is also a memory of his uncle
Mod
On his friends: if they don't treat him properly, surely they're not his friends. How did they treat him, then?
The entire history is riddled with grammar and spelling mistakes. Please fix that. How would his mother's refusing to tell him cause a snake to nearly kill him? You never explained how he got a tattoo. He's a minor. He wouldn't be able to get one legally without parental consent.
Mod
Age: Eighteen
Appearance:
A not-so-tall not-so-short person, his height is 6,3, and he's unsure whether of not he's taller than the average person. With an athletic muscle..."
1. 6'3" is kind of on the tall side.
2. Expand on his personality because all I'm getting is that he's easy going and can be slightly annoying because of it.
3. You said that he ran three times. In a row. Yes, we understood the first time. You could combine the main ideas from each. That's not the first time there's redundancies either:
3a. "Basketball. Soon, he'd developed accuracy and strength with the basketball." You could just use it for the second one. We know what you're talking about.
3b. He had his first game at age 13? Why wait so long if he started at age 10? I mean, I mean, I'm not an expert at sports (I go to a friggin art school and the only "normal" sport is tennis) but don't kids have there little matches and whatever? Or if they're really good, can't they move up in age group? That's how it works for my younger cousin (age 7) in tennis.
4. No comma before "by"/after "mother."
Mod
--> Add a little more description for Carlisle's appearance! Just a picture isn't enough :) Also, this link doesn't work. Try going to the image that you want, right-clicking, choosing 'Copy image URL' and pasting that directly under "Appearance:", instead.
Personality: Carlisle has always been described as being creative and intelligent. Because of how his friends treated him, Carlisle has a hard time making new friends even within the borders of CHB. Since coming to CHB he has also become loyal and protective of the ones he cares for.
--> "Creative, intelligent, and loyal" isn't much of a personality. Try being more descriptive. Imagine them as a real person - what are their strengths? Weaknesses? Flaws? Likes and dislikes?
History: Carlisle’s childhood was just like everyone else’s until he was thirteen. From then until his fourteenth birthday, Carlisle was followed by ravens and large snakes. He also began to see things that no one else could see, causing his friends to think of him crazy. Carlisle was excelled from everyone in his school. His mother continually pushed off telling Carlisle about who his father was, this caused Carlisle to pretty much show up to the camp half dead followed by large snake.
--> Everyone has different upbringings. Describe how it was an average childhood - what is his family like? Where does he live? I think you mean *exiled, not excelled. The last sentence seems to contain a lot of things that can be better explained with a paragraph, or at least a few more lines! What happened with the snake story?
Other:
*Apollo’s son
--> Well, it's obvious he's Apollo's son, he wouldn't be in this topic if he wasn't! :P
* Has a phoenix tattooed on his right side-this is a memory of his uncle who passed away when he was little http://www.google.com/imgres?q=tribal...
* Has a Latin verse tattooed on his left arm Natus de aeternus Sol (One born of the eternal sun)- this is also a memory of his uncle
--> You don't mention his uncle's death anywhere but here - try integrating that in his history/personality. (And try copying the image URL directly by right-clicking on the image that you want instead of sending us to Google.)
Please go to Maggie's description on how to make a character, it offers some useful tips and pointers. You should have read it before posting.
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Name| Agraveere LangstenNickname: Well, there were many things that she would be called at school, had she continued attending after she turned fifteen. The ones she had accumulated from the friendlier side of her life were Aggie, Gold Fingers, and, sometimes, Angel.
Age| Sixteen
DOB: July 5th
Gender| Female
Appearance|
Aggie's slender, and in her opinion, rather blockish. She's a little on the vertically challenged side of things, but is tall enough that isn't noticeable. She used to have long black hair, but she cut it short, because it was "too much of a hassle." She's got a heart shaped face, which she finds to be a touch manish. Her lashes are long, and naturally curled, but she can't help a little mascara now and then. As when some babies are born, she used to have brown eyes for the first couple months of her life. The pigmentation kicked in, and now they're a hazel like hue with tiny flecks of gold in them. When she isn't sporting hand-me-downs from one of her older half siblings, she actually has some curvature. Her hips aren't as slender as the rest of her, however, and she has a sort of coke bottle figure, only a little softer. She has a nose piercing that she really only wears now out of habit, and two ear piercings.
Personality| Aggie can be a little...blunt, but not because she wants to. She inherited that little quality from Apollo that has her telling the truth- 24/7. She's a bit of an egotist, too, but not when it really counts. She's more than a little lazy, but she knows when something has to be done and when not to slack off. Aggie's also a real prankster. She loves practical jokes, but seeing as she can't tell a lie, they don't usually work for her. She may come off as a tomboy, but she's got a pretty girly side too. It takes time to see it, but when she opens up, it's really something else.
History| You would think that life as demigod would be a little easier when you tell the truth nonstop, but it's not. People are afraid of the truth at times, and Aggie tells it, at all times. Being a professional liar is out of the picture.
Ever since Aggie was little, she was getting into some sort of trouble. Not always because she was doing something to cause it, but just because she liked to tell bullies off by telling the truth. When the bullies came on strong, Aggie became overwhelmed. The traumatic experience of being picked on by at least five kids twice your height is enough to make any person mute.
When she turned eight, she discovered the piano and harp, and what exactly that little voice she kept bottled up was for. From then on, her mother- who had never really paid that much attention to her daughter- suddenly found a ticket to the big time. Using her daughter's abilities, she packed Aggie and her older brothers and sister and moved them to Las Vegas.
Things where going great, until she turned fifteen. Aggie decided that it was time for a little image change. She lopped off all her hair, got a few unauthorized piercings, and went taking clothes from her sister to her brothers. Her mother was far from happy with this, and set it upon herself to change her back. People at school seemed okay with her sense of style, so her mother took her out. "Less praise makes you think about it," she'd said.
A few weeks later, Aggie booked it.
Other| Aggie has never touched a weapon in her life, let alone used a bow and arrow. Summer camp was out of the question when she was a money-making machine. So was having pets, so the minute a huge crow flew at her, she ran the other way. It followed her, and she just let it be. No use fretting about a crow falling in love you at first sight.
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Age: Eighteen
Appearance:
A rather tall kind of guy, his height is 6,3, being pretty darn tall for someone of his age. With an athletic muscle build, tan skin and eyes tha..."
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