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It's Not PMS, It's You - Relationship stories
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About a week before our wedding I was taking clothes over to our new apt. and I noticed this huge box in the closet with all kinds a clothing etc. in it. I asked him what was that. He had washed everything he owned and brought it for me to iron. I said no way. All my clothes were nice and on hangers , he would have to do that himself. He learned.
Judith wrote: "Here I go again, another story which is long but incredibly true. Before I entertain you guys, I need to give you some background. My husband and I are both Scorpios and they say two Scorpios..."
OMG, Judith, nobody is going to beat you at this! I was still crying tears of laughter over your last, and now THIS!!!
You guys are hilarious. This is going to be tougher than I thought :)
There really are some great ones, and I can't wait to hear Judith's next story. I don't have any stories about my current guy, but I have a couple that actually ended the relationships.My boyfriend and I were sitting on the couch and he looked at me and said "you know, if you were a little healthier (meaning thinner) you could be really attractive. But it's probably better that you're not, otherwise some other guy might actually be interested in you." I said a few choice things back and walked out. And if that wasn't bad enough, he showed up a few days later wanting to hang out, and he was honestly surprised that I was still mad.
We were out of town toward the end of the marriage. Hashing and re-hashing things, we finally said we were done. At which point my ex says "Well, if we had to ruin a holiday, at least it was Halloween." PS. Not so much the ruined. ;)
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Quest1962, What an interesting way to look at a breakup!
The shoe's so totally on the other foot in my relationship with my bf.We just got through a few months of our friends getting married, all in a row. At the last wedding, he was talking to a few of his friends, and I wandered over. Entering me into the conversation, he smiled at me and said, "How long have we been together? Three or four years?" I looked at the group around him, looked at him, and then smiled and said in my most adoring tone, "I love you." All of the guys in the group agreed that that was their next answer when asked that question.
Very good Jesi. Brilliant maneuver out a tight situation and very funny too.
Oh Judith! He's lucky you didn't say "Off with his head!"
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Deb wrote: "Oh Judith! He's lucky you didn't say "Off with his head!""Contrary to popular belief, mine included, I am not a violent person . I love all children and animals and I truly believe in the human condition so I usually root for the under-dog and am not too critical on most people. I'm not really a closet murderer ha ha it has been said by some that I tend to embellish the telling of the situation. These comments are only made by non-creative people. All in all I have a lot of fun with writing and even after the contest ends I hope the thread will continue!
A funny thing happened the way to the coffee pot this morning. My husband's always complaining that that I come around to the corner of his office while he's has his head-phones on deeply engrossed what he's doing and start talking before I announce that I have arrived. He also doesn't like it when I raise my voice replying to him raising his voice to me which he claims he doesn't do. (Not true) I carefully thought about what he had to say and after some concentration decided to turn over a new leaf and become aware of some of these things. So I went into his office first thing this morning and told him about my decisions. He smiled sweetly at me and followed me into the kitchen. He slowly rinsed his cup and the few dribbles of water left he threw in my face. What a shock! He said "Who are you and what have you done with my wife while fiercely hugging me until I cried "UNCLE"! What sweet moment that was. He's a keeper!
>>All in all I have a lot of fun with writing and even after the contest ends I hope the thread will continue! <<Judith, that's the nicest compliment I've ever received and I hope it does continue, even after the contest is over. What a great way to blow off steam, right?
Of course, credit also needs to go to the lovely and talented Lori Hettler, our gracious hostess. Thanks for making me feel so welcome, Lori... you rock!
Deb wrote: ">>All in all I have a lot of fun with writing and even after the contest ends I hope the thread will continue! <<Judith, that's the nicest compliment I've ever received and I hope it does continu..."
Lori Hettler, thank you gracious hostess, you rock too!
Judith you need to have your own entertaining thread called The Life and Times of Judith. Ha! You are a kick.
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Deb, thanks for hanging out and participating, and of course for allowing the giveaway... without that as the kickoff, this conversation may never have happened!
This one is my parents' story, actually.From an very early age, oldest brother was an electronics genius in the making. He knew basic stuff with wiring, batteries, switches and light bulbs, etc. extremely young. One year, he and second oldest brother had an argument. Was the Easter Bunny real?
To settle the issue, oldest brother decided to build a trap to catch whatever delivered the goodies. True geek genius in the making, he wired the door to the bedroom the two of them shared.
Meantime, unsuspecting, the parents went out for the evening and came home a few martinis for the better. They got in the shower together - and mom remembers she forgot to deliver the Easter baskets. Off she goes to do the deed, with nary a stitch or a towel.
One tripwire later, all the lights in the boys' room go on, bells and buzzers go off.
Oldest brother wakens and sits up and points to - hers truly, quite starkers, two baskets of eggs in hand - The Easter Bunny!
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Judith you are priceless. Too bad you live soooooooooooo far away from me. I live on the other coast.
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Remember to the enter the contest, submit the craziest thing a romantic partner has ever said to you by July 17th!
Lori wrote: "Keep those stories coming, guys. Remember to the enter the contest, submit the craziest thing a romantic partner has ever said to you by July 17th!"
I am confused Lori (it happens a lot haha). Are you saying that we have to officially enter or just by writing a spouse story we are automatically entered?
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I want to start a petition to keep this thread running even though the contest will end soon. I have really enjoyed being able to express myself in in the comedy happenings with the marriage. I suggest we expand this thread to include the happenings within the family. There are many sitcoms that are written about the family as in "Everybody Loves Raymond, and more recently "The Middle" and "Modern Family" and more. I love all of these and watch them in reruns and I think I'm not alone. Should we decide to go on with the thread I will do everything I can to help. I feel really passionate about this, does anyone else? Come on, step up to the bar! I'm waiting for your answer!
I am in. I have a few funny stories about my kids.
Carol (Kitty) wrote: "I am in. I have a few funny stories about my kids."Good for you. Thanks for the support Carol (Kitty) (I love your name BTW. Let's give it a couple of days and see what happens. It does not have to be about books, although, don't get me wrong, books are wonderful. But the best books are written from good stories aren't they? So, I guess after all it is about books!
Message 81: He's asked other outrageously silly questions lately, but I'm too embarrassed to post about those. Especially since he doesn't even know I'm telling all his secrets to a bunch of strangers. Oops ;/ I think Erika should post the other embarrasing stories!
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After the winners have been announced, I will relocate this thread to the "Daily Randomness" folder, and you guys can discuss anything you with regard to family!!
Lori wrote: "Judith, I am all for expanding this thread... but let's hold off until the contest is over. Let's stick to "crazy things your romantic partner has said" until July 18th.After the winners have bee..."
Okey-doeky Lisa. I'm not in a big hurry, I just wanted to get my thoughts down before the contest was over and I didn't want the thread to disappear. Thanks for the info.
Sorry I haven't checked in, ladies (and gentleman, if he's still with us!) but for some reason I stopped getting the e-mail alerts in my folder. Stupid intertubes ;) I'm baaaaack, though!You guys have made my day with your stories and I am so thrilled that you want to continue. It's great to know that we're not alone in this weird, wacky thing called relationships.
And Erika, I can relate about the hard year. Hang in there, babe, things always get better. If you happen to have a hubby who has a sense of humor about himself, you are already ahead of the game.
Erika wrote: "Lisa wrote: "I think Erika should post the other embarrasing stories! "Okay, maybe I can deal with the embarrassment of this one. I can't remember why he said this but sometimes the things he say..."
Erika, you must have another funny story to tell
before the contest ends. Let's have it or them...PLEASE.
Agreed Judy, let's have it Erika! So, according to Deb's book, "men are 1,000 times more likely to suffer from Foot-in-Mouth disease." Now, I don't don't know. I'm definitely the one who suffers more in my relationships. What do you all think -- do men or women have it worse?
Carol (Kitty) wrote: "Judith you are priceless. Too bad you live soooooooooooo far away from me. I live on the other coast."Carol (Kitty) What part of California do you live? I used to live in Redondo Beach, Hermosa Beach< and Orange, in Orange County. We have traveled back on occasion to visit friends and relatives but they have all moved away except one relative who is a Sex Therapist who changes her name frequently. (???) The strange part is that she has more sexual problems than her patients! She's a little scary so I stay away. I'll never admit to writing this so don't even try, California relative!
My husband read my post and reminded me that there was
more than one state on the west coast. ( Hanging my dumb head in apology.)
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Same here Lucinda, I am sure hubby has stories about me(gasp Miss Perfection)
Erika here is a link he can go to and choose which ones he likes best . hahahahahahttp://www.marvelousmanboobs.com/
OK, Carol (Kitty), I think I'm now officially more traumatized than when I had to find out what Penis Whistles were for a book I was working on (my first reaction: "It whistles?")That link is going up on the INPMSIY Fan Page on Facebook, just to show everyone what TNBBC women are made of!
Okay, here is my labour story...Male gynaecologist to father to be: You have to come with me right away.
Father to be: Is there something wrong? Is it my wife?
Male gynaecologist: No, I just need you to hurry.
Father to be: Is it the baby?
Male gynaecologist: (leading father to be down the hallway) No, ..... Jesse Barfield is up to bat, he might hit a home run... I think the Blue Jays are going to win the pennant... we're all watching in the father's waiting room..... hurry or you'll miss it.
Mother to be: (in meek voice as every one hurries out of labour room): hello... is anyone paying attention here? I'm about to have a baby.....
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Holy moley, Brenda! That's wild! Did they at least come back after the game was over?? :P
When child number 3 was 11 months old I took child 1 (5 yrs) and child 2 (3 yrs) to their cousins for their first sleepover. I left child number 3 with hubby so I could stop for afternoon tea and make sure the children were okay. When I got home hubby said I've got something to tell you... Yes I said. Well, he said, I am really sick and this afternoon I was feeling really really sick so I went to the doctors. Yes I said. Well, he continued, I forgot I was looking after child number 3 and didn't remember until I got home from the doctor. He was okay because he was just in his cot sleeping when I left but when I came back...I guess... he was crying quite a lot. I'm really sorry and I really love you.
Lisa wrote: "When child number 3 was 11 months old I took child 1 (5 yrs) and child 2 (3 yrs) to their cousins for their first sleepover. I left child number 3 with hubby so I could stop for afternoon tea and ..."Yikes!
Deb wrote: "Holy moley, Brenda! That's wild! Did they at least come back after the game was over?? :P"Ha, ha, yes, and the Blue Jays won the pennant that year - the game ended around 11 pm. Beautiful baby daughter was born 6 am. the next day.
Lisa, at least he was apologetic! There are some guys (who will remain nameless) who would look up from their papers when you (or I) got back and say, "There's a child in the house?" ;)
Judith wrote: "Lisa wrote: "When child number 3 was 11 months old I took child 1 (5 yrs) and child 2 (3 yrs) to their cousins for their first sleepover. I left child number 3 with hubby so I could stop for after..."Very seldom am I struck speechless but in this case I was. I'm glad baby and hubby were OK!
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Books mentioned in this topic
It's Not PMS, It's You!: A Totally Non-Hormonal Analysis of Male Behavior (other topics)It's Not PMS, It's You!: A Totally Non-Hormonal Analysis of Male Behavior (other topics)
It's Not PMS, It's You!: A Totally Non-Hormonal Analysis of Male Behavior (other topics)
It's Not PMS, It's You!: A Totally Non-Hormonal Analysis of Male Behavior (other topics)
When my older sister was born, my mom went through the whole labor, yada yada... My dad was there the whole time and everything, but after her labor was over, he fell asleep at the foot of my mom's bed. She was not very amused, and she kicked him in the head to wake him up...