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Should dads be allowed in birthing rooms?
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I don't know. What's the waiting room like? Does it have cable?
i was in the birthing room for all three of my childrens births. it was wonderful and an experience with my wife that cannot be explained properly or duplicated. i also was there as a coach for my sister when her first child was born.in the old days it was like ward cleaver when he was either at work and someone called and told him the baby was born or the dads just staying in some dingy waiting room smoking incessantly until someone came out and told him the deal and then they went home
Kevin "El Liso Grande" wrote: " i was in the birthing room for all three of my childrens births"
Me too. The twins were breech and my wife had a c-section, but they let me in as the doctor pulled them both out. I cried like a, uh, baby.
Me too. The twins were breech and my wife had a c-section, but they let me in as the doctor pulled them both out. I cried like a, uh, baby.
Of course they should, they were there for the conception...it's all about the follow through!
my last son was born breech natural. no drugs. nuttin'yikes. whatta woman
Kevin "El Liso Grande" wrote: "my last son was born breech natural. no drugs. nuttin'
yikes. whatta woman"
Sweet Jesus, Kevin! She's a machine.
yikes. whatta woman"
Sweet Jesus, Kevin! She's a machine.
Do you - guys of TC actually believe that your value is based soley on the size of your wallets more often than not? I usually just shove money in my pockets, anyway...
No, seriously, there's a really, really weird dynamic about this in my neighborhood, and I wonder if it's similar in other places. Probably. A lot of guys work long, long hours, and honestly, I think some of them do because the hours allow them to stay away from their families. And then some of the wives say things like "Oh, Jim (not our Jim) has to work so long...it's so hard on him." Bullshit! He chooses to do so...I know these guys. But then the money they might make allows an excuse for their lack of presence. I don't mean to say every guy who isn't home all the time wants to avoid his wife/kids. I'm free associating here. Oh, my brother in law who works for google never sees his kids, and makes a ton of money, and I'm so sick of the "poor man, he never gets to see his kids" bullshit talk. He could come home on time, too.
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I wish it weren't so trendy and routine for the man to be expected to be part of things. Sweeter just was not up for it and I was mostly alone. I wish he had the option of the waiting room until the final 20 min, and I could have asked a friend, or my sister to help me instead.
BunWat wrote: "Do you - guys of TC actually believe that your value is based soley on the size of your wallets more often than not? If so does it make you mad or are you okay with it? "
Boy I hope not, as my wife makes almost as much as me, and I have no problem with that. Hell I hope that she can make more than me. Although I make a decent living, it would make me mad to be valued solely upon that. Helping to raise our kids, community volunteering, coaching kids are all more important to me than what the paycheck says.
Boy I hope not, as my wife makes almost as much as me, and I have no problem with that. Hell I hope that she can make more than me. Although I make a decent living, it would make me mad to be valued solely upon that. Helping to raise our kids, community volunteering, coaching kids are all more important to me than what the paycheck says.
how much money i make has nothing to do with my value. i make $30k a yr less than i did three yrs ago and it has not affected me at all in how i feel about myself of how my family feels about me. (we have discussed it) as a matter of fact, in my present career i work less hours than i did and have much more time for volunteer and community work and that has boosted my value in my eyes. i never had much money anyway. just rugged good looks and charm :)
Yes, he should be in the birthing room, unless he's going to throw up, or faint. As for the money issue, that's kind of a touchy subject for me. No, the husband shouldn't be seen as just the bread winner, but he should be equally responsible for meeting responsibilities.
There are a lot of women out there who are the ones with full-time jobs, making ends meet, AND doing most of the housework. I was one of them, and it eroded my respect for my partner, seeing him working from home for years without bringing much in. That isn't any better for a marriage than the husband working long hours and never being at home.
It's a balance, and both parties need to be in agreement about their roles and responsibilities.
Me being in the birthing room isn't up for a debate, period.
i did get kinda sick on #2 in the birthing room as it was really early in the morning and i had worked two jobs / two shift the day before getting off just after midnight. running straight to the hospital and then eating some white castle hamburgers right before birth. they crank up the heat in the birthing rooms to simulate the environment the kid is used to (i assume). i got woozy and green and the nurses had to attend to me for a minute MUCH to my wife's dismay"HEY! WHAT ABOUT ME????"
i was sitting in a chair by the bed and started feeling sick. one of the nurses looked at me and said "you ok?" and then they all turned their attention to me. my wife was dilated to about 8.9 and her face looked like linda blair when she noticed the lack of focus on her
Not just any burgers, Barb. White Castle, the apotheosis of pressed mystery meat in a bun. Your life is incomplete without them.
they are called "sliders" for a reason. i was like "it that a shared bathroom...?"
I was similar with my second one Kevin, they said they were going to need to do a c section, and I don't do well with needles or any sharp object being put into skin, so they had me move to the other side by my wifes head, and we were both better off for that.
hey! i was nervous too about the whole thing
Jim "Doh!" wrote: "I was similar with my second one Kevin, they said they were going to need to do a c section, and I don't do well with needles or any sharp object being put into skin, so they had me move to the oth..."
You mean they started you off on the business end? Wow! Hell, that was all blocked off when I went in and I stood next to my wife's head, held her hand, and nodded "yes" when she asked if I still had the number of that urologist.
You mean they started you off on the business end? Wow! Hell, that was all blocked off when I went in and I stood next to my wife's head, held her hand, and nodded "yes" when she asked if I still had the number of that urologist.
Clark wrote: "Jim "Doh!" wrote: "I was similar with my second one Kevin, they said they were going to need to do a c section, and I don't do well with needles or any sharp object being put into skin, so they had..."
Yes they did, but apparently they were quick learners.
Yes they did, but apparently they were quick learners.
i think we are making a solid case for dads not being allowed in birthing rooms
Was there really any doubt Barb?
You know, it's not the actual birth...it's the waiting for the birth that confused me. What's the protocol? Can you read? Play video games?
You do WHATEVER SHE WANTS, RA. Bring her ice cream, or tortilla chips. Walk with her, or play her some music, or get her trashy magazines to distract her, or just hold her hand and reassure her.
RandomAnthony wrote: "Video games, then?"If that's what she wants to do, sure! :)
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dad definitely... what about other family members? When my baby girl was born, there was a family in the room next to be and it sounded like a major party and at least 20 people going in and out the whole time. A big cheer when the baby was finally delivered... think "GOOOOOOAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!
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RA, I grew up with a Dad like the ones you described... the "responsible money-makers" with not much to do with the kids unless there was discipline involved. He loved us but never knew how to actually be a parent that was there with us. That's why when I got married I found a guy who has more natural parenthood instincts than me. (And he also has "rugged good looks and charm" Kev!)I had an emergency C-section at 7 1/2 months and was terrified! I don't think I could have done it without Jared there, especially with him cracking jokes and making me laugh (although I had to act pissed, just on principle). He looked over the canvas wall once, and now says that he's seen more of me than anyone else on the planet.
I think it's pretty sad when Dad's (or even Mom's) can't engage with their kids and live their daily lives involved with their families. Anyone who does this is completely missing out. Hopefully that trend is going away with the newer generations & a more fluid idea of what it means to be a parent.
I was planning on being in the birthing room nonetheless, because, let's face it, you only get one chance to be in the room when your first child is born. However, circumstances spun completely out of control which not only called for me to be in the birthing room, I actually had to be an active participant in the birth of Sophia.
See, we live about 45-50 minutes away from the hospital where Sophia was to be delivered. Yes, there are hospitals closer, but we felt most comfortable at Presbyterian Main, which also happened to be across the street from where Jaime's OB-GYN practices. Around 2AM on July 5th, 2007, Jaime's contractions were getting closer and closer, so we went to the hospital. The OB-GYN on call said her cervix was 4 centimeters dilated, and the contractions were 5 minutes apart, but he thought we should just go back home, because it would be another 16-24 hours before Sophia would be born. So we got home at 5AM. Jaime's water broke at 11:30AM, 6 hours later, and that was our queue to get going. Mind you, I'm 50 minutes from the hospital, and Jaime's got this look that says, "if you don't hurry up, I'm going to give birth in your car!"
I got to the hospital in 27 minutes. Ever watch The Transporter movies? Yeah, I was cool like Jason Statham, yet shitting my pants from fear.
We get to the hospital, I throw Jaime onto a wheelchair, we get to the maternity ward, and when the staff takes a quick look at her, the words I hear are "she's 9 centimeters dilated...don't call the anesthetist."
I was planning on just being there, offering support. Instead, Jaime's OB-GYN and the birthing specialist call me into action; I'm helping Jaime down and walking this crazed woman with no drugs go through the birthing process. In all, from the moment her water broke to the moment Sophia came screaming out of the womb, a grand total of 127 minutes passed. This was easily the fastest 127 minutes of our lives ever.
See, we live about 45-50 minutes away from the hospital where Sophia was to be delivered. Yes, there are hospitals closer, but we felt most comfortable at Presbyterian Main, which also happened to be across the street from where Jaime's OB-GYN practices. Around 2AM on July 5th, 2007, Jaime's contractions were getting closer and closer, so we went to the hospital. The OB-GYN on call said her cervix was 4 centimeters dilated, and the contractions were 5 minutes apart, but he thought we should just go back home, because it would be another 16-24 hours before Sophia would be born. So we got home at 5AM. Jaime's water broke at 11:30AM, 6 hours later, and that was our queue to get going. Mind you, I'm 50 minutes from the hospital, and Jaime's got this look that says, "if you don't hurry up, I'm going to give birth in your car!"
I got to the hospital in 27 minutes. Ever watch The Transporter movies? Yeah, I was cool like Jason Statham, yet shitting my pants from fear.
We get to the hospital, I throw Jaime onto a wheelchair, we get to the maternity ward, and when the staff takes a quick look at her, the words I hear are "she's 9 centimeters dilated...don't call the anesthetist."
I was planning on just being there, offering support. Instead, Jaime's OB-GYN and the birthing specialist call me into action; I'm helping Jaime down and walking this crazed woman with no drugs go through the birthing process. In all, from the moment her water broke to the moment Sophia came screaming out of the womb, a grand total of 127 minutes passed. This was easily the fastest 127 minutes of our lives ever.
He loved us but never knew how to actually be a parent that was there with us.That's a good point. I know a lot of guys like that.
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Yes, well done Gus. My wife had 46 hours before our first was born with no signs of distress on the baby, we got all the way back to the nurse that was there when we were first admitted, I think that there were four in total. And for the record my daughter was nine days late and has been late for everything since.
i remember when my wife was pregnant for our first child. i was 18 and she was 17. newly married (yah, i know) and going to the childbirth classes. they got to the part about emergency childbirth and talked about "breaking the water with a car key". totally straight. i was like "hell,no. we will just go to the hospital now at 7 months and wait"
Barb (Lady of the Glass Box) wrote: "Jim "And for the record my daughter was nine days late and has been late for everything since...."
Why do I get the feeling you say that all the time ... your daughter must love that."
No, it is a matter of fact, her friends will even give her a different time to show up knowing that she will be late, so if they want to go out at 9:00, they will tell her they are going at 8:15 or 8:30. She admits it, there is no need to rub salt in the wounds by bringing it up.
Why do I get the feeling you say that all the time ... your daughter must love that."
No, it is a matter of fact, her friends will even give her a different time to show up knowing that she will be late, so if they want to go out at 9:00, they will tell her they are going at 8:15 or 8:30. She admits it, there is no need to rub salt in the wounds by bringing it up.
Gus wrote: "I was planning on being in the birthing room nonetheless, because, let's face it, you only get one chance to be in the room when your first child is born. However, circumstances spun completely out..."
Fucking A, Gus. You and your wife got right down to it, didn't you? Nicely done.
Fucking A, Gus. You and your wife got right down to it, didn't you? Nicely done.
thanks sally. it is almost lunch time in Indiana. i was going to eat chinese today but can't now as all i will think about is gross toe-mein
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