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Physically Abused By The Universe: A Topic To Recount How You Got Those Bruises (AKA We're All A LITTLE Like Bella)
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I CAN'T TAKE TASERS.

Before school actually started I was hanging out on campus with a bunch of friends. One time I did a bunch of barrel rolls with shorts on and somehow got scratches all over my legs.
Another time my friend and I had a cockfight (by "cockfight" I mean squealing like roosters and kicking each other) and I was repeatedly kicked in the leg.
And a few years ago I broke my wrist by falling off of a miniature horse... A tiny, fat and evil mini at that.


I was basically faux-raped like eight times twice by the same guy, the other times by different guys,
slammed into a wall by my friend,
smushed into the stair banister by my guy-friend (not boyfriend.. >_<) while we were laughing about things that happened on the bus,
smacked into the same wall twice laughing so hard,
tripped over flat carpet and landed in someone's lap,
got Tasered by some random dude(when someone pokes you in the soft area between the hip and rib cage on both sides of your waist) and reacted so much that I smacked into my own locker and ricocheted into my friend,
fell on a basketball after tripping on the gym floor,
and then I finished the day by falling down the last two cement steps during the rain and falling over the sidewalk and into my other guy-friend's backpack, causing him to fall, and we landed in a heap.